Chapter 9
He grabbed me by my arm. His eyes were shooting fire directly at mine. The look his eyes hold were suiting his character. He pressed his lip shut. He was silent. It was like his eyes were already aiming all his words at me.
"I, I am going to make your life worse" he said, emphasizing the word I. A tornado was going through my mind, messing with everything I had built till that day.
"You are going to suffer. I am going to make your life more miserable than it already is" he whispered, for my dad not to hear. I looked over at him. He was looking at us with big eyes, not really understanding why Black was attacking me. Little did he know that Black has been abusing me for a lifetime.
"Stop this nonsense immediately! What is happening?! Nila?" I heard my dad ask. I shook my head. If he still didn't understand it after the song, then I wasn't going to help him.
"I'm out" I said, walking fastly towards the door. It was almost midnight, but I didn't care. Nor was I scared. Maybe I wanted it. Maybe I wanted someone to kidnap me and kill me, just to see what they would think. What Black would think. Or maybe I really wanted it to happen so I would be freed from all of this.
"Nila Collins! Come back here!" I heard my father yell from behind me. I grabbed my jacket and ran outside the door. I kept on running, wanting nothing more than to give out my last breath. I had been living with this for so long. I acted like I didn't care. I didn't actually. Or did I. I slapped my forehead. Even I didn't know anymore.
"Nila!" I heard from behind me. I stopped immediately. His voice gave me a calm feeling. Maybe it was because for the first time I had been able to read someones emotions, feelings. I turned around, seeing Noah walking towards me.
"What's wrong?" he asked me. I shook my head, not being able to stop the tears that finally came down.
"I changed" I said, looking him in the eyes. I wanted to see his emotion. I wanted to know what he felt about this.
"I shouldn't care. I never did" I put my hands on my face.
"This is not me... Who even am I?" I let out a laugh. I didn't know it anymore. I turned around, trying to get away from there as soon as possible. My feet were trying to drag me somewhere. I needed to stop resisting. I needed to follow my feet. I heard him yell from behind me but I kept running. It was dark, but I didn't mind. When it was dark, all of the imperfections of the world wouldn't be seen. It's so dark that you wouldn't be able to see the homeless people, the looks people were giving you that could kill you. No one could judge you on your outside. Sometimes they can't even see you. It's like being invisible. Though you don't see everything around you. You only see the things you should see. Like the stars, the moon. The majority of the people is afraid of the dark. I shook my head. How could that even be possible? When it's not dark, you will feel naked. You are shown to the whole world. Everyone can see you. But when it is dark, you will be able to choose what you want to see. Just like how my feet wanted me to be here. I looked in front of me. It wasn't as busy as it was like the first time I was here. Heck there weren't even people around. I looked at the building. It was completely white from the outside, just like the inside. This was something that chose to be seen at night. I could make out all the little details on the building, making it more magnificent than it was. I tried to understand why my mind wanted to come here, but I deep down knew why it was.
"This gave me a weird feeling when I was here for the first time.. It gave me comfort, it made me feel better. I was hiding these feelings back then, because I really wanted to get out of there... I hate crowded places" I said, knowing that he was behind me. He came and stood next to me. I felt him looking up at the building.
"It's beautiful, isn't it?" he said. I nodded, smiling little.
"Enchanting" I said. He turned towards me. I looked at him and he was looking at me being completely confused.
"Which teenager uses that word?" he joked. I let out a small laugh. We kept looking at the building in silence. It was like hours flew by.
"Do you still get these notes?" he asked me. I looked at him, being confused on how he knew that.
"I saw the one in your hand when you came and kind of saved me. It was the same as the one you and I found" he said. I nodded.
"I get a lot" I said. He looked at me with a weird expression. His face showed a little bit of anger.
"Can I ask you for a favor?" I asked him, willingly letting him know about the notes. Maybe it was going to help him too. I knew he was just as clueless about himself as me...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tell me what you think! What do you think she is going to ask?
Random Fact: I just picture the mosque in this chapter like the one in my town. It is also white:)