The next day - After Sasha's funeral
I didn't cry. I promised not to cry. Not because I wanted to be tough, but because I know Sasha is in a better place. Last night though, after the crew meeting, I let out all this rage and I cried without stopping. I cried because of Sasha, because of Mom and the possibility of her being alive. I cried because a deep part of me wants Deckard to be here right now...
"Well this is where we part and take different directions." Maggie says, her eyes puffy from crying. We walk together to the parking lot. Finding black funeral clothes was not hard since this is all we practically own from the mission days in Europe. After the chaotic wedding day, Sarah made sure to pack our clothes and personal belongings up. They were brought to us yesterday.
Reaching the parking lot, we find the black Cadillac Escalades parked. The FBI drove us down here to the funeral, along with Sarah, Simmons is nowhere to be found. I don't remember seeing him yesterday or the day before after all the chaos. Maggie says goodbye to all of us as she climbs inside one of the escalades. Melvin can't seem to let go of Maggie, he promised to see her once he got back from Thailand though. I see that Robert is about to hop inside another escalade and I ask to speak with him. I let go of Sean's grip and walk up to talk to him.
"I guess your prince showed up to ruin my moment yesterday." Robert says shaking his head and smirking. I try not to smile. "Look Rosie. I can't deny my feelings for you. You are probably the toughest girl I've ever seen."
"Rob stop-" I say trying to actually make him stop saying these things. "I'm sorry if I ever led you on.."
"No it's nothing. You just reminded me of her..." He says and I shake my head in confusion. Remind him of who? "Your cousin..Eve." I grimace when I hear her name. We still aren't in the best terms. She was just a storm of confusion.
"Oh her. What do you know about her?" I ask just to be curious. Why didn't he tell me this before?
"She came here every summer. Ralph loved her and spoiled her to the max. She also cares about him too." He says and I listen tentatively; Eve will not be very happy when she finds out Ralph is dead and Owen in jail. "I know what you are thinking. And all I can say, is be careful. She is a full blooded shaw with no feelings....but then again, I fell in love with her."
I'm in shock after he says that. Then why did he try to kiss me? I wonder if Eve loved him back; she was so confusing, I never understood how her personality worked
"So why did you try to kiss me?" I ask. I meant to ask him yesterday, but we were all not in the mood.
"I don't know, it felt...right. But, now that I think about it, no, it wasn't right and I apologize." Rob says and I tell him I forgive him.
Robert then hops in one of the Cadillac Escalades, says goodbye, and speeds off. I walk back to go to the crew and fill them in on what Robert had told me.
"No effin way." Melvin says cracking up."So he fell in love with Eve. Cruella de Eve??!" I give off a small smile. I try not to laugh, we have just gotten out of a burial session, I don't want to be rude.
"Hello Children. " Simmons says finally showing up. He was at the funeral for like two seconds and then left. "Flight at 6 PM so make your way to the airport in like two hours. I didn't get a chance to thank you all for the fabulous job you did yesterday. I know the loss of your friend Sasha was tough and as an agent of many years, I've lost a lot of friends like that. It's tough, very tough." Simmons says as he almost gets emotional. "For what you did though, the FBI and CIA have pardoned any civil cases or criminal cases any of yall ever had. You are all, as well as your families, protected by federal authorities. And you will each get a payed a little less of half a million dollars. I already gave the check to Maggie and Robert."
I honestly don't care about the money, or the cars or anything else right now. Why should we get a recompense if we just killed people? Why does life have to be like this?
"Thanks Simmons." Alice says and we all go in for a group hug. A second later, Simmons let's go.
"Okay back away rebels." Simmons says. "Any other wishes before we part?" The crew all stay silent shaking their heads but I speak.
"Just one."
An Hour Later-
"I'm not going in there." Chris says outside the CIA jail services. "I told you. I will never forgive him."
"Stop acting dumb Chris. You only care about yourself." I say pushing him back with my finger.
"Because it was easy of you to forgive him right?" Chris says coming up to my face. He is getting an attitude.
"I didn't forgive him, stupid ass. But he is our dad..." I say shaking my head. I push him out of my way as I walk a little forward.
"He is your dad. That piece of shit is nothing to me. Goodbye see you at the airport." Chris says walking and hopping in a Bentley and speeding off. Not even Alice could calm him down, she instead walks with me inside.
I asked Simmons to lend us all luxurious cars, since I'm the only one without a license, I had to get Alice to drive me and the rest of the crew to this jail to make Simmons happy. "Don't show up to the CIA jail without a license" He pleaded us before we left.
Sean and Melvin also came along to support me. I enter the jail and honestly what am I doing here? I don't know but I'm doing this for Sasha. I know I will start to cry hysterically when I'm face to face with Deckard and I tell him what happened. After my altercation with Chris outside, I have to breathe in and out and face this new situation.
"I'll be right back." I say to the crew as they stay back in the sitting area. I walk down the cold hallways, trembling with fear. How do you tell someone that the person they loved is dead? That they won't kiss that person again, they won't touch them again. I put myself in this situation and I think of how hard it was to not have Sean with me these past weeks. I felt so cold and lonely. Probably how Deckard is going to feel or already feels.
"Okay Miss Shaw. 10 minutes." Says the guard that escorts me. He opens the doors with like millions of locks.Then I walk to the actual cell which is surrounded with many automatic guns, lined up on both sides of the wall.
When Deckard saw me through the little window of the cell, he got happy. I tried not show my sadness, but I know it portrayed no matter how much I tried to hide it. The guard opened the cell and stayed-standing outside the cell. Okay 10 minutes to explain..
"Hey Rosie." Deckard says studying my expression. "What's wrong?"
"Hello Deckard." I say almost whispering. "Well um.." Come one words, form sentences so I can just shoot them out my mouth.
"I know, Sasha got married to Ralph. But she came yesterday morning before the wedding and told me it was all a plan or something." Deckard says calmly. He then stares at my expression for a good minute . "Something went wrong right?"
"Ralph is dead." I say because I honestly am scared to tell him. Deckard has a confused look. That was his father and the creator of all his problems. After a another minute of silence, I finally speak up.
"But before he died. He tried to kill me." I say struggling to speak. I have that strong pain in my throat, as if like I'm holding the tears down there. Deckard puts his hands on his head. He is trying to process everything.
"He tried to what?! That son of a ..." He says, like that tone Chris uses when he is angry and in disbelief. Now we know where he gets it from. "Are you okay? Did he hurt you?" He tries to get close but stops as I nod in silence.
"I'm fine. Perfectly." I stop and then the tears start flowing. Here come the bullets out the machine gun. "I didn't die, because well...because...... Sasha go in the middle right when Ralph aimed his gun. Sasha died right before my eyes."
Deckard looks at me and then looks away. He turns around and starts sobbing, and then crying.
"Sasha is dead?" He continuously repeats. Over and over again. Everytime he says it, I remember Sasha laying on the floor and then I cry. But not like hysterical, in fact, I stop crying after like two seconds. Pain for me heals quickly on the outside. I then do something I never imagined doing.
"I'm sorry. " I say as I walk to hug him from behind. The first hug I've ever given my dad after all these years. He turns around and hugs me and kisses my head, many times as he cries. I spent so many years trying to imagine how it would've felt to be hugged by Deckard. At night, I would dream of moments like that. Now I'm here, I'm hugging him, but because someone very important to both of us died.
I know I hated Deckard, but now that things are starting to unwind, I realize the shit he has been through. It is no justification of course, for abandoning his children; I guess he was scared to become like Ralph or something. I will ask him one day, just not today.
"It wasn't your fault." He says while he stares at me, right into my glossy eyes. "How much do I owe Sasha now for saving your life." Deckard says as I let go. Part of me would like to stay, but I have to catch a plane. I let him reconstruct himself for a good minute.
"I have to go though. I have to catch a flight to Thailand." I say and he nods. He knows why I'm going.
"If you find her, or whatever let me know...please." Deckard says and I don't know why I have the urge to say I forgive him. My heart is telling me to do so, but my mind is just all over the place and hinders me from speaking.
"I will." I say turning around to leave the cell. I stop though, I turn back around and run to hug him one more time before finally leaving.
What do you do when your Dad is in jail, and your Mom may or may not be dead?
Sometimes I think about what would've happened if I didn't escape boarding school that night? I would have never met Sean, never worked for the CIA, and never found all these answers and discoveries. Sometimes the bad actions lead to good things...Now I want to find my mom...or find out what happened to her.