(The songs for this chapter are James Morrison-You make it real, James Morrison-Please don't stop the rain, Coldplay-Shiver)
Hardin's cheeks are flushed and lips hold a nervous smile as I stare at him.
"it's so.. it's just perfect." I sob and close the space between Hardin and I on the couch, practically tackling him. Luckily, he is strong enough to keep us both from falling.
I hug him as tight as I can manage, causing him to cough so I loosen my grip.
"Thank you, that is so thoughtful and just unbelievable." I tell him and press my forehead against his as I stay in his lap.
"It's nothing..really." He timidly states and I smile at his casual tone.
Anne clears her throat and I hurry off of his lap. For a moment I forgot that we were not alone in the apartment.
"Sorry." I tell her and move back to my spot on the couch.
"Don't apologize." She gives me a knowing smile.
Hardin stays quiet, I know he won't talk about the gift in front of Anne so I change the subject for now. His gift was so incredibly thoughtful. He could not have picked a more perfect quote from any novel to have engraved onto that charm.
"Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same." It is so perfect for the way I feel about him. We are so different yet we are exactly the same, just like Catherine and Heathcliff. I can only hope that we do not share the same fate as them. I would like to think that we have learned from their mistakes somehow and that we will not allow that to happen.
I slide the bracelet over my wrist and slowly rock my wrist back and forth letting the charm sway back and forth. I have never received anything like this before, I thought the nook was the best gift but he managed to upstage himself by having this bracelet made. Noah always got me the same thing, perfume and socks. Every single year. Then again, I got him cologne and socks each year. That was our thing, our boring, routine, thing.
I stare at the bracelet for a few more seconds before I realize both Hardin and Anne are watching me. Immediately I get up and begin to clean the small mess from the wrapping paper.
"What shall we do for the rest of the day?" Anne asks.
"I feel like taking a nap." Hardin tells her and she rolls her eyes.
"A nap? On Christmas?" She mocks.
"It's not Christmas for the tenth time." He tells her harshly but then smiles.
"You're obnoxious." She scolds and swats at his arm.
"So are you."
I take the small pile of crinkled and torn paper and push it into the steel trashcan. I feel even worse about not getting Hardin a gift for Christmas. I was too consumed by everything that was going on between us to worry about buying him a gift. I wish the mall was open today so I could get him a last minute present. I have no idea what it would be but anything would be better than nothing. I look down at the bracelet again and run my finger over the heart.
"You almost done?' Hardin's voice at my ear causes me to jump in surprise.
"You scared me!" I say as he chuckles.
"Sorry love." I feel him smile against my neck and he wraps his arms around my waist. My heart leaps when he calls me 'love'. It's so unlike him.
"Are you going to take a nap?" I ask him, turning myself around to face him.
"Yea.. join me?"
"Sure." I don't really like to take naps unless I am too exhausted to do anything else but I can spend time with my nook while Hardin sleeps.
When we get into the room Hardin pulls his shirt over his head and it falls to the floor. My eyes travel over the familiar designs inked into his skin and he smiles at me.
"You really like the bracelet?" He asks as he walks over to the bed. He tosses the decorative pillows onto the floor and I pick them up.
"You are so messy!" I complain. I put the pillows into the trunk and Hardin's shirt on the dresser before grabbing my nook and joining him in the bed.
"But to answer your question I do love the bracelet. It's so thoughtful. Why didn't you say it was from you?" I ask and he pulls me over to lay my head on his chest.
"Because I knew you were already feeling bad about not getting me something and you would feel even worse after my great gift." He smiles.
"Wow, so humble." I tease.
"Also, I didn't know how things were going to between us. When I had it made for you I had no idea if you would ever speak to me again." He admits.
"You knew I would."
"Honestly, I didn't. You were different this time."
"How so?" I look up at him.
"I don't know.. you just were. It wasn't like the other hundred times you said you wanted nothing to do with me." Hardin's voice is light as he pushes the fringe from my forehead with his thumb.
"Well I knew.. I mean I didn't want to admit it but I knew I would come back. I always do."
"I won't give you a reason again."
"I hope not." I say and kiss the palm of his hand.
"Me too."
I don't say anything else, there is nothing to say at the moment. He is sleepy, and I don't want to talk about me leaving him any longer. Within minutes he is asleep, breathing heavily, creating the perfect melody for me to relax. Hardin calling me Daisy this morning made me want to reread 'The Great Gatsby'. Just as Nick is driving across the bay to East Egg, I drift off to sleep with my nook in my hands.
"Excuse me!" I hear a woman's voice.
My mother. I jolt awake and toss the nook to the end of the bed. Why the hell is she here?
"You have no right to go in there!" I hear Anne's voice.
Anne. My mother. Hardin. This apartment. Oh my lord. This isn't going to go well.
The door crashes open and my mother is revealed wearing a red dress and black heels. Her hair is curled and pinned up to resemble a beehive and her red lipstick is bright, too bright for my newly awakened eyes.
"How could you be here! After everything!" She yells.
"Mother.." I begin as my mother turns to Anne.
"Who the hell are you?" She asks..
"I am his mother." Anne says sternly.
Hardin groans in his slumber and opens his eyes.
"What the fuck?" Are the first words out of his mouth when he spots the devil in the crimson dress.
"Let's go Theresa." My mother beckons.
"I'm not going anywhere. Why are you even here?" I ask her and she huffs, putting her hands on her hips.
"Because I have already told you, you are my only child and I will not sit back and watch you ruin your life over this.. this asshole." Her words light a fire under my skin and I immediately go on defense.
"Do not speak of him that way!" I shout.
"That asshole is my son." Anne defends Hardin with hooded eyes. I get the feeling that underneath her humor is a woman ready to go to the mattresses for her son.
"Well your son is ruining and corrupting my daughter." My mother fires back.
"Both of you, get out." Hardin says to the two women and stands up from the bed.
"Theresa grab your things, now." My mother instructs.
"What part of I am not leaving do you not understand? I gave you the opportunity to spend the holidays with me but you couldn't get over yourself long enough to allow it." I snap.
I know I shouldn't be speaking to her this way but I can't help it.
"Get over myself? You think just because you bought a few slutty dresses and learned to put on makeup you suddenly know more than I do about life? You're wrong. Just because you gave yourself to this.. this filth doesn't mean you are a woman! You are nothing but a little girl. A naïve, impressionable little girl. Now grab your things before I do it for you." She is half yelling, half laughing at me.
"You will not touch her things. She isn't going anywhere with you. She is staying here with me, where she belongs." Hardin spits.
"Where she belongs? Where did she belong when she was staying in a damned hotel because of what you did to her. You are no good for her and she will not stay here with you."
"They are adults, Tessa is an adult. If she wants to stay there is not a thing you can do about it." Anne interjects.
My mother's angry eyes turn to meet Anne's equally fumed eyes. This is a disaster. I open my mouth to speak but my mother beats me to it.
"How can you defend this sinful behavior? After what he did to her he should be locked away!" My mother nearly screams.
"She has obviously chosen to forgive him, you need to except that." Anne says coolly. Too coolly. She looks like a snake, one that is slithering by so slowly that you never see it's attack coming but when it does you are done for. My mother is the prey and I can't help but hope that Anne's bite is venomous.
"Forgive him? He stole her innocence as a game, a bet with his friends and then bragged about it while she was here playing house!"
Anne's gasp mutes Hardin and I's equally as surprised noises.
"What?" Anne gapes and looks to her son.
"You didn't know that? No wonder you were defending him. You're son bet his friends that he could take Tessa's virginity for money and was using her the entire time. He even kept the evidence and flaunted it around the entire campus." My mother says.
I am frozen in place.
I didn't want Anne to know the terrible things her son has done. I keep my eyes on our mothers , too afraid to look at Hardin. I can tell by his breathing that he wasn't aware I had told my mother the details of his deceit.
"Evidence?" Anne's voice is shaky.
"Yes, evidence. The condom! Oh and the sheets with Tessa's stolen virginity on them. God knows what he did with the money but he was telling everyone every detail of their.. intimacy. So now you tell me if I should make my daughter come with me or not." My mother raises her perfectly sculpted eyebrow to Anne.
I feel it the moment it happens. I feel the change in the room, the energy shifting. Anne is now on my mother's side of this. I can see it perfectly in the disgusted glare she is giving her son. I try desperately to cling to the edge of the crumbling cliff that is Hardin. The concrete floor is splitting beneath my feet, the pain from my mother's reminder, pulling me to their side of the cliff.
"How could you Hardin?" Anne cries. "I had hoped you were different now.. I had hoped you stopped doing things like this to girls.. women. Have you forgotten what happened last time?"
Last time? My heart sinks.