Chapter IX
Second Chances
I watched the world outside
By the way,
I'm leaving out today
I just saw Halley's comet
She waved
Said, "Why you always running in place?"
Even the man in the moon disappeared
Somewhere in the stratosphere
Tell my mother
Tell my father
I've done the best I can
To make them realize
This is my life
I hope they understand
...
Derek stood still as he watched Meredith worried with guilt and panic. He didn't know how he could help her, he could go check on Ellis but at the same time he wanted to be there for Meredith. She paced the halls, she hadn't spoken in the two hours she's been at the hospital.
"Mer," he said worried as she kept her head at the floor.
"Hmm?" She mumbled as she continued to pace.
"Would you like to sit? Do you need anything?" He calmly asked, wanting to help. Even if that meant just being here he would.
"I need my mother to be alive, I know she was never a good mother but at least she tried. I need there to be a cure for Alzheimer's because I don't know if she wakes up and is back to her old self or if she even wakes up at all. I just need her to be alive and to be lucid because I really want her to know about our kids," she said, slightly angered but more scared than anything.
"Mer, she's going to be alright. The best cardio surgeon in the country is working on your mother," he tried to reassure her with the fact that Preston is working on her mother but he knew that wouldn't help.
"I'm just going to continue to be this way so you can just either be here or go find something to do," she snapped, continuing to pace. Derek just nodded before sitting down and watching her. Even in this state, she had one hand on her slightly swollen stomach, no matter how much she claimed that she was going to be a terrible mother, she wasn't. She already loved those babies, he knew it deep down that she was going to be the best mother she could be.
It seemed like hours of her, she was becoming restless between the pacing and then having to rest and pacing again. She just wanted everything to be alright. No matter how bad of a mother Ellis was, Meredith did love her. She sighed with relief when she saw her person walking through the doors with Burke, her stomach began to flutter with a slight bit of hope. They didn't seem upset, that was always a good sign. She stood there, she felt Derek rise and put his arm around her waist to hold her up.
"How is she Preston?" Derek asked, knowing Meredith wanted to ask.
"She's in recovery. She did have a major heart attack and we had to put her on bypass, we have to go in and repair her ventricular wall due to the damage in a few days," he explained the situation.
"Alright, so she's alright?" Meredith finally got a normal breath in as he said that.
"Yes. But we will be keeping her for a while," he nodded and Meredith agreed that was best.
"I also suggest she get a full body CT just to check for more damage," Burke said before leaving.
"Cristina, how did it really go," Meredith asked when Burke left.
"It went really well, better than expected. You should get some rest," Cristina encouraged. Meredith just nodded and she left. Meredith sat back down on the chair and just breathed. She had felt so many emotions at one time, all she knew was that she was glad her mother was alive.
"Mer?" Derek whispered as he sat back down next to her, putting his arm around her shoulder's. It took her a minute before she turned to him, so much hurt and fear in her eyes.
"I didn't tell her that I was pregnant, I need to tell her whether she is lucid or not," Meredith said, Derek just nodded. He saw her eyes began to release the tears and he just pulled her close to him. He didn't know how long they sat there like this before one of the nurses came and told her that they could go see Ellis.
"Come with me, please," she whispered, he just nodded and helped her up. They walked hand in hand into the ICU and into Ellis's room, she opened her eyes and the slightly confused look on her face made Meredith confident that maybe she was lucid.
"Mom?" Meredith let go of Derek's hand as she went into her room. Ellis stared at Meredith for a second before she said anything.
"Meredith?" Ellis croaked, her throat sounding dry.
"Here mom, drink some water," Meredith couldn't help but feel relieved as she handed her mother the water.
"Who is this?" Ellis asked after she drank some of the water. She was talking about Derek, Meredith knew this automatically.
"I'm Dr Derek Shepherd, Chief of Neurosugery," he introduced himself to Ellis, she was a bit confused at first, knowing that she most likely had a heart attack and didn't know why a neurosurgeon was in her room.
"Are you here about my Alzheimer's? Meredith did you tell him about it?" She asked, her eyes darting at her daughter.
"Yes mom but not for what you think. Mother, this is my boyfriend," Meredith felt nervous all over again, she had never had to introduce her mother to her boyfriend before and she didn't know how Ellis would react.
"Hmm yes I figured, the way you were looking at my daughter told me, it was the way Richard once looked at me," Ellis nodded, Meredith knew her mother had an affair with Richard, she would always remember her parents fighting about it, but that didn't mean it didn't hurt any less.
"Dr Grey, I understand that you probably won't..." Derek tried to say something but Ellis immediately stopped him.
"Derek, please understand that I get you two may be involved now but I have no idea when or if I'll ever be lucid again but I do know that you better take good care of my daughter because she deserves it after the hell she's been through," Ellis seemed to be tearing up. This was a foreign thing for Meredith, her mother was a strong and intelligent woman who never cried. She felt a stray tear fall down her cheek as her mother was actually showing compassion for the first time in her life.
"Mother he will, and we have to tell you something," Meredith suddenly felt her stomach flip and the flutters returned. She didn't know what to do next except tell her.
"What is it Meredith? I don't have all day you know," her bluntness only made Meredith more nervous. She was right, she didn't have all day. She could just go back to her old self any second really.
"Mother I just wanted to say that what I'm about to tell you is something i am happy about. Me and Derek are going to have a baby. Well babies, it's twins," Meredith quickly spit out what she wanted to say and waited. The waiting was terrible, it seemed like Ellis's lucid state had gone. It seemed like hours but it was only minutes before Ellis replied.
"I don't really know how to respond. I just... Meredith promise me something," Ellis grabbed Meredith's hand, taking her by surprise. Meredith never recalls her mother showing any affection throughout her childhood.
"What is it?" Meredith suddenly felt like she had to take her mother seriously.
"I've never told you anything like this Meredith but please be extraordinary in every way that I wasn't and even in ways I was. I want you to become an extraordinary woman and to be an extraordinary mother to these two children. Your work is important but so are these children," Ellis spoken highly of Meredith's babies, which really confused Meredith. Her mother never had spoken to her like this, it was scary.
"Mom I will, I love these babies and Derek. They will always come first," Meredith rubbed her belly, the flutters continued. If she wore a tight shirt you could probably see that she was definitely pregnant due to the size of the bump.
"How far along are you?" Ellis asked curiously, noticing how Meredith was very fond of the babies. Ellis knew Meredith would be a good mother, she just had to believe in herself.
"Fifteen weeks," Meredith smiled, holding her hand on a spot she was sure there was one of the babies.
"Oh, that's nice. Have you felt them move yet? You know I felt you move at thirteen weeks, it was only small flutters and honestly didn't feel like much unless I was nervous or very happy," Ellis smiled at the fond memory, she missed remembering stuff.
"Well I'm not sure, I think I have once before," Meredith thought, she didn't really know how it would feel, maybe it was the small flutters she had been feeling all day.
"You probably have, well you both probably have things to do and I am getting a little tired," Ellis nodded, feeling fatigued all the sudden.
"Oh alright. Well if you're not lucid when I see you again then I'll wait until you are again," Meredith nodded, she really enjoyed her mother's company. Maybe it was that she had grown up or her mother maybe felt guilty but whatever it was made Meredith feel amazing.
"Alright," Ellis smiled, a genuine smile at the both of them. Meredith got up and went over to Derek, grabbing his hand in relief. They began walking out before Ellis asked them to wait for a second.
"Meredith, you're extraordinary. I love you," Ellis had a large grin on her face, Meredith didn't know how to react, her mother never said she loved her when she was younger at all.
"Thank you mom. I love you too, see you later," she just smiled, squeezing Derek's hand a little tighter as they walked out the door.
Derek put his arm around Meredith, walking a little forward with her, he could feel how that conversation made her strong and a better person. He knew that it meant everything to Meredith for Ellis to say those things and he was grateful. Just as they got to the nurses station, the monitors began blaring from the room they had just came from.
It was a blur, how Derek had to hold Meredith back as the code team was rushed into the room. How they had tried four times, how Meredith was in tears, Derek continued to hold Meredith tightly as the code team called time of death. It was all a blur, for both Meredith and Derek. Meredith had hoped this was her second chance with her mother but she realized not everything in her life could have a second chance.