I suddenly feel nauseous, "Zayn. He's-he's coming over here..."
"Madison that's a good thing." He coaxes me, squeezing my hand with a calm smile.
"In what way is this good?!" I panic.
"We wanted him to see us kissing so he'd speak to you. Now he's about to. He's almost over here, stay cool. Look less terrified." He commands.
Zayn suddenly bursts into realistic fake laughter, eyes suggesting me to join him. I try my best to fake laugh, but I feel as if anyone looking at me can see how forced it is.
Niall finally reaches us, shooting a distasteful look at Zayn and then at me, and then at our intertwined hands on the table, "Madison, may I speak to you?" He asks gruffly, frowning.
I don't know what's going on with me. I feel nauseous, but somehow these words leave my lips while my bold gaze looks up at him, "No."
He sighs, biting his lip in frustration, "We have a lot we need to talk about."
"Do we? Because if I remember correctly, you said you didn't want to explain anything to me. You told me to get out of your room." I spit, venom dripping from every word.
"I know." He says through gritted teeth. I watch him grasp for the right words to say, but he can't come up with them. With an irritated groan, he whips around and limps back to his table.
Zayn gives me a wide eyed look, "Wow. I'm impressed, Kelly."
"What?" I look at him, puzzled.
"That's your last name..." He reminds me, smiling patiently as if I'm a child.
I bury my head in my hands, groaning, "I'm an idiot. I wanted him to talk to me, and he tried, and I pushed him away."
"He's a man, if he loves you, he'll try again. He'll fight for you." Zayn reassures me.
"He's not like that. He's fought his whole life. He doesn't fight for people anymore." I explain in a breathless whisper, remembering the strenuous weeks of effort it took me to gain his trust and win his heart in the first place.
Zayn purses his lips, hesitating before remarking quietly, "Then maybe he isn't the one for you."
For the first time, I consider this, shrugging, "Maybe he's not."
I deserve someone who will fight for me. And so far, I've done most of the fighting in this relationship.
I twirl my fork through the artificial pasta on my tray. Maybe me and Niall have gone through too much together. Maybe we're too far gone. Maybe it's time to let him go.
~
Zayn's lunch break ends and he's forced to go back to work. I kiss him goodbye in front of the entire cafeteria, feeling Niall's eyes burn into me even without glancing in his direction.
Zayn disappears into the restroom to throw on his nurse uniform. I slip on my jacket and prepare to leave when a rough hand grips my shoulder.
I wince, spinning around, "Ow, what the-" my throat is suddenly dry and I can't force words through it.
He's so close to me, I can smell his clean, detergenty scent, mixed with his Irish spring cologne that I love so much. It's intoxicating, as are his dark eyes as they glare down at me.
"We need to talk. Come with me."
"I'm not-" he grabs my hand, leading me down a random hallway against my will. I can't pull away or protest. My skin burns where he touches me, but it's a lovely burn that I've missed. I wonder if he knows the effect he has on me.
When he shoots me a smug glance over his shoulder, I know that he does. But it's gone so fast that I begin to doubt that I saw it at all.
He leads me to a worn looking door and pushes me inside. It's a broom closet.
He shuts the door behind us. My heart feels like it's about to beat out of my chest. With my back against the wall, the most distance I can get between us is a foot.
He closes his eyes, sighing deeply and clenching his fists, "Why are you with Zayn." The way he says it sounds like a statement, but it's worded as a question.
"He's attractive and funny and he treats me right." I reply simply, gradually regaining my confidence, "He's a great kisser too."
Niall's eyes flash open, jealousy shining in them, "Will you not tell me that? Why the fuck would you say that?" He shouts and anger boils beneath my skin.
"You fucking dumped me. Why does it matter who I kiss?" I fire back.
"I didn't want to dump you. It wasn't my choice." He spits back through gritted teeth.
"Then whose was it?" We're nose to nose now and I refuse to break eye contact. This is it. He's about to tell me exactly what I need to know.
His gaze stays level with mine, but he doesn't speak. I let out a small shriek, one I'm not proud of, before diving into a rant, "You make no sense. And you know what Zayn told me today? He said I deserve a man who fights for me. And with me and you, it's always been me doing the fighting. It took weeks of us hanging out before you'd say a sentence to me. And then I got you to open up and it was wonderful. And now after all that, you really want us to end like this, dumping me with no explanation whatsoever? I'll gladly leave you alone for the rest of your life, Niall Horan, but I think I deserve an explanation beforehand, something to give me closure. Can you give me that, Niall? Please?" By the end, tears are streaming down my cheeks and I can't stop them, no matter how hard I try to force them back.
He reaches his hand towards my face and wipes away my tears with his thumb. I'm momentarily distracted by his hand. I slowly grab it, running my fingers across his deep, noticeable scars where his fingers were chopped off by my horrid brother. Niall intakes a sharp breathe at my touch.
"You have all of your fingers on this hand." I comment softly, admiring his somewhat normal looking limbs.
He nods nervously, breathing out, "The doctors fixed them up last week. It was fucking painful."
Without thinking, I press my lips to the most noticeable scar on his pinky. When I pull away, I look up at him. His eyes are trained on me, his lips parted.
"Are you with Zayn?" He asks in a whisper, suddenly confused, "Or do you still love me?"
I shrug, smirking at him, "Maybe both. I'm a girl with many love interests. Call me Taylor Swift."
For the first time in a long time, Niall cracks his beautiful crooked smile at me, "That's the most unoriginal joke you could've possibly come up with."
"What can I say, darling, I'm a nightmare dressed like a daydream." I respond sarcastically with a shrug.
"Stop. Just stop." He shakes his head, chuckling, "Weren't you screaming at me a few seconds ago? What happened to that? You're bipolar."
"My emotions are all over the place right now. Because you dumped me, and I have no idea why, and you still haven't told me. And I just made out with Zayn and now me and you are standing very close to eachother in a broom closet. Forgive me for not knowing which emotion to feel."
"I want to give you an explanation. I'm going to."
"And when is that gonna happen? 10 years from now? Because I'm actually hoping to be settling down by then, not waiting on an answer." I retort warily.
He smirks, and I snap at him before he can say a word, "You look amused right now and you shouldn't be. I don't find it fucking funny that you dumped me and won't tell me why."
"I know... Sorry, I thought you were attempting to lighten the mood. Misread ya. Sorry." He apologizes sheepishly.
I give him an icy stare, and finally, he starts to explain.
"Your mom threatened me. Said if I didn't move away, she'd take you and move away and not tell me where. She's literally paying for me to move out of town once I'm out of the hospital." He explains grimly, eyes scanning my face for a reaction.
This new information makes my blood boil. I've been mad at the wrong person this entire time.
Actually, no I haven't been. Niall's a dumbass for not telling me any of this.
"I have to be the one to leave. Not you. I can't deal with not knowing where you are. At least if I'm forced out, I know where you are." He sighs, running a hand through his hair, "It's frustrating."
I understand why she wants him away from us. He's a symbol of all of the evil in Jeff. Every time my mom looks at him, she'll think of Jeffrey and the horrible things that he did. But not me. When I look at Niall, I only see happiness, and galaxies and possibilities. I see my future when I look at him.
"Let's run away together." I suggest suddenly.
Niall chuckles, "You're psycho."
"No, I'm serious. That's the way around this. The second you're out of the hospital, we run away."
"What about your friends? Brett, Harry? And your new fucking boyfriend? And your parents, they'd just find you and drag you back."
"I'm 17. In a few months, they won't have that authority over me. I'll be a legal adult and the police won't be able to stop me from leaving. And you're a dumbass if you think me and Zayn are actually dating. I did that to make you fucking talk to me. Obviously I'm a fucking genius because here we are in this wonderful broom closet."
Niall shakes his head, an amused smile playing across his lips, "thank god for that. I don't want you with him... You should be with me. You should." He grabs my hand and squeezes it, "But, we can't run away together. I'm not gonna let you drop out of highschool and throw away your future for me. It's not happening."
"Then what do you want me to do? I don't see a way around this." My voice cracks.
We both know how this ends. Neither of us wants to say it out loud, but it's mutually understood. And it fucking hurts.
Niall slowly tucks a strand of hair behind my ear and my heart rate speeds up at the simple gesture. He gives me a sad smile, "I think we have to stay broken up, Madison."
Tears fill my eyes faster than it takes him to finish his sentence, "I don't want to."
"I know. I know..." He sighs, a helpless look in his eyes. His gaze slowly trails down my face until it lands on my lips. He bites his bottom lip before closing the distance between us. He slams my back against the broom closet wall and forcefully presses his lips against mine. Electricity fires up between us, as it always does. My kiss with Zayn is less than nothing compared to this.
His hands lift up my shirt and toss it aside. I do the same for his, pressing my body as close to his as I can. God, I haven't kissed him in what feels like forever. It feels so right, so passionate and wonderful...
I'll spare you the details, but things get heated very quickly between us. And as we're doing things I've never done before with any guy, I struggle to ignore one horrible reality at the back of my mind.
This is the end for us.