Wednesday, 09th May. Day 9.
I wouldn't let anything spoil my day today. Nothing and no one. I've gone through pissing and puking in front of someone to getting poisoned by another someone to getting screwed up by the first someone (which, I have to admit, as much as I hate it, I did enjoy). But for today and the next 22 days, I would not let anyone else screw anything up for me.
That was my resolution when I woke up. And it was strong. By God was it strong... until Ezra read today's newspaper and ate me alive.
"What the hell is this?"
"What?" I asked, as I chewed my eggs lazily.
"Tell me this is photoshoped." He said and showed me the paper. I saw the picture and almost barfed out my Eggs Benedict.
"It's not?" I squeaked and let out some nervous giggles. "I knew I didn't dream those reporters!"
"You kissed him." He stood up, looking bloody mad, might I add.
"Well, he kissed me..." I trailed off and stood up too. For every step Ezra took towards me, I took one back until we had the length of the dining table between us.
"I thought I told you to stay away from him." Now, if dragons existed, they would definitely look like Ezra in that moment.
"Kinda hard to do when you are sick and he is in the same room as you."
"I'm having a hard time believing you even want to stay away from him." He slowly inched his way around the table and even an idiot would know the chain isn't long enough to go from one end of the table to the other.
"I do." I state firmly but it had no effect on him. Jesus, where's my phone? Hell, if David was telepathic, he would have probably heard my screams for a timeout by now. But then I remembered Ezra used it bright and early before the sun even rose. Fuck, I'm screwed and not even in that way.
"Let me list it all down for you to remember then." He said and took another step. "One, your lunch with him in the diner."
"We didn't-"
"Don't interrupt me when I'm speaking, Clara." He growled and continued. "Two, the footsie under the table yesterday afternoon." He took another step.
"If I didn't know better, I'd say you were jealous." I laughed nervously to try and ease the tension but hell if it did that.
"Three, you fell on him." One more step.
"Sally tripped me." I added.
"Four, a fucking kiss when I was out!" He screamed and that was when he pounced on me. I cried a good one that could have earned me a role in a horror film and ran, which, wasn't really effective since all Ezra had to do was yank on the chain and pull me back. The house staff came to see what the commotion was about but then quickly ran away when they caught sight of Ezra's fuming features. As for me, well, I didn't have that privilege since I was stuck between the sturdy dining table and Lucifer himself. Looks like I might just be lunch. God, help me. Please.
"In my defense, I didn't initiate-"
"Shut up, Clara." He shouted and I immediately zipped my mouth. "What don't you get by stay away from him? Or is it that you two are already..."
"No!" I blurted out and made a disgusted face. "I'm asking you this once again, why do you always think that?"
"I saw-"
"You believe the papers?" I cut in.
"I don't believe articles. I believe pictures that haven't been photoshopped!"
"I didn't know what was going on!"
"What do you even mean by that? You don't know when a person is going to kiss you?!"
"There was blinding light! And-"
"Shut up, Clara. People think you're sleeping with him." He grabbed the paper from behind me and waved it in my face.
"I don't care what other people think!"
"I think you're sleeping with him." He corrected then and I stared, gobsmacked.
"Why the hell would you think that?!" I asked. Someone get me out of this situation, please! I don't see this going anywhere but in circles. "Ezra, I don't get you or your brother. I don't get what's going on in between you guys."
"You prefer him?" He questioned and I stared, lost for words. "Is he the person you run to during every timeout?"
"Ezra, what the hell?" My mouth was open but no words came out. How the fuck do I explain? I took in a deep breath and framed my words carefully. "Look, when all of this is said and done and we are married and then divorced, I am going to enjoy my single life for a little while and then date someone who does not have Copper as their last name! I don't fancy either of you. Hell, you both drive me mad!" I was now lost for breath. "Did that get through your thick skull or do I need to exaggerate?" Painful minutes of silence passed and I waited for him to react while my heart raced a marathon. He was in my space, breathing my air, his eyes pining me down, daring me to move. I could see the cogs move in his head as he thought about it.
One more minute later, he took a step back and I resumed breathing again. "Don't ever do that to me again." I whispered and stood straighter.
"We are going to sort a few things once and for all." Ezra said and with that, he grabbed my hand and led me out the door.
He didn't answer my question. He didn't acknowledge my presence. Hell, he completely ignored me! I had to figure out what his plans were by making sense of where we were going. Halfway through the journey, I recognized the route.
"No, Ezra, what are you doing?" Obviously, he didn't reply so I pushed further. "I don't want to go there again. I don't want to go there any day! Ezra, please, just tell the driver to turn back around." In my desperation and his refusal to answer me, I grabbed his arm and shook him. "Please, don't do this."
"We are doing this." He stated and I whined.
"I'm not properly dressed. She is going to insult me again." I was only wearing a pair of jeans and a top. I was pretty sure Sally would find some way to mock me with it.
"Then stand up for yourself." He said and I raised an eyebrow.
"And your friendship?"
"I don't give a fuck about the friendship if it means she gets to treat you like that." I kept quiet because I knew my words of protest would fall on deaf ears. I was on edge the whole drive to the Carson house.
"Ezra, what a brilliant surprise!" Sally answered the door and greeted him with a warm, flirty smile while I got a frown instead.
"Can we come in?" He asked and she ushered us in.
"What can I do for you?" She asked when we were seated in the living room.
"Cut the bullshit. What did you put in Clara's food yesterday?"
"Excuse me?" She said in fake astonishment but when neither of us bought it, she showed her true colours. "You look fine, Clara. Sad, might I say." She continued, annoyed.
"Why would you do that? I don't get what you're holding against me since school. I avoid you but whenever we have to associate, you try your level best to make my life a living hell."
"You stole my life." She grumbled.
"What?"
"My life, my friends, my family, my boyfriend! The moment you walked through those doors."
"I don't... I don't get what you're talking about."
"Don't be naive, Clara," she scoffed. "Tom dumped me for you. My family made you an example for me. My friends abandoned me for you!"
"Only because you started acting like this! And Tom? Sally, Tom was a playboy. I never and would never date him. He was already cheating on you. You changed. You became... a bully. A cold-hearted bully. None of us liked it." My voice turned into one of sorrow. If I had known earlier, God, what I wouldn't have done to make her realize this.
"A bully?" She asked and I nodded.
"The pranks. The insults. That time you complained about me sleeping with a teacher. All of it added up to all of us keeping our distance from you."
"I..." Sally trailed off and I sighed. I nudged Ezra to get up and then we walked over to Sally. I sat beside her and gave her shoulder a squeeze.
"I didn't mean to invade or anything. You guys took me in and that was just... well, that. I didn't think I was moving in your space. I'm sorry." I gave her a hug and I was grateful when she returned it.
"I'm sorry for poisoning your food.. and for everything else." She said softly and I nodded.
"Apology accepted." I said and she hugged me again.
"Thank you." I broke the silence in the car and Ezra looked over to me. "That conflict would never have been resolved if you didn't do this so thank you." He nodded and then looked out the window.
"The confrontations aren't over yet." He said and my eyebrows scrunched together in confusion. But then, it was obvious, wasn't it? Jeremiah.
We ended up going to the Copper House. I was in the process of mentally preparing myself, again, but then Ezra spoke out.
"I'll handle this." We entered Jeremiah's office and he was just putting his phone down.
"Clara! You look beautiful as always. The picture is wonderful, isn't it?" He pointed at the framed article picture on the wall and this time, both Ezra and I tensed up. "You are a wonderful kisser. Does Ezra know or doesn't he?" He smiled cheekily and Ezra marched towards him while I quickly followed behind him. My mind was trying to comprehend how to get out of there if the brothers got into a physical fight.
Ezra slammed his palms on the desk, sending pens and other things rattling, including me. "What are you doing, Jer? What are you up to?"
"Have a seat and we'll discuss it." Jeremiah smirked and Ezra let out an agitated breath and we both took a seat across him. "Just a question."
"I don't-" Ezra began but Jeremiah cut him off.
"Clara." He said and it made me sit straighter. Shit, he was directing the question to me. "Do you see yourself falling in love with Ezra anytime soon? The other way is, frankly, just impossible so what about it?"
"Well..." I started but didn't continue. I didn't know what to say but I didn't want to prove Jeremiah right either.
"Well?" He prodded me on and Ezra gritted his teeth.
"Well, no but-" I was about to reason but Jeremiah cut in.
"Then what's wrong in having a little fun?" He asked Ezra this time who now had his hands turned into solid fists. I gulped. There is going to be blood, I could sense it.
"Jeremiah, I am only going to say this once. Back the fuck off." Ezra spat out.
"Ezra, bro, you should be thankful. I'm just showing you the truth. Remember Jade?"
"Who's Jade?" I cut in and Jeremiah looked at me with a glint in his eyes.
"Oh you don't know anything, do you? That's why you guys will never work."
"Jeremiah-" Ezra started but I cut in once again.
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"Should I tell her, bro?" Jeremiah asked. "Okay, then. Clara, Jade is..." He couldn't complete because Ezra sprang from nowhere and punched him in the face, breaking Jeremiah's nose in the process.
"Ezra!" I screamed as blood marred Ezra's fist and Jeremiah's mouth and nose. People came running in and I stood between the two brothers. "Stop. He's not worth it." I reasoned but Ezra was hardly looking at me. I took his face in my hands and forced him to look down at me. "Please, don't. This isn't the way." I whisperes and his eyes seemed to zone back and come into reality.
"Let's go." Ezra said, grabbed my hand and led us both out.
***
"You ready to talk about it?" I asked once we were back home.
"No." He said and I sighed.
"Who's Jade?"
"Doesn't matter."
"What was that about?" I asked Ezra as he splashed water on his face.
"It doesn't matter."
"Ezra..."
"Back off, Clara." He snapped and I did jump because of the sudden change.
"Alright." I said softly and looked anywhere but at him. "After all the times you pushed me for answers, it's only fair I get some too." I said a little while later. He dried himself off and turned around to face me.
"I have questions too."
"Trade then?" I offered but he thought for a second and shook his head.
"Today isn't the day."
"Then? When is the day?"
"Why do you even care?" He asked instead and I sighed. If only I knew the answer to that question.
"I shouldn't?" I answered with a question of my own but I got a scowl in return.
"No, you shouldn't." He stated in an 'end of discussion' tone. I sighed, I'd ask him again sometime later.
***
"Okay, so here's the thing, silence kills." I put down my spoon and looked at Ezra. We were having dinner and he hadn't uttered a word since today morning. "I'm sick of the silent treatment. I mean, I get enough of it at your office, I don't want it here." I leaned back against the back rest of the chair and crossed my arms on my chest. "Talk."
"I thought we discussed this." Ezra replied in an annoyed tone.
"Turns out, I do care. So speak." I said, my tone no nonsense.
"Just because you care doesn't mean I have to answer you." He shrugged and picked up our plates.
"Actually, you do because we are stuck like this for a month." I followed him to the sink and helped him wash the dishes.
"We will get through it."
"I won't. Not with your attitude." I said and he scoffed.
"My attitude? What about yours, Clara?" He put the plate down and turned to face me.
"What about mine?"
"I thought it was clear you don't like me and you prefer calling me the reincarnation of Lucifer. So tell me," he took a step closer and continued, "why do you care? Angels shouldn't mess with Demons." I must say, he did have a pretty good point and I also realized I couldn't answer him without telling him the entire truth.
"Let's just say I do care."
"Why?" He asked immediately after my response. He closed the rest of the distance between us in the span of that one word.
"Because I just do!" I threw my hands in the air with frustration.
"But why, Clara?" He cocked his head to one side and I narrowed my eyes at him.
"I don't think you are all that bad." I whispered and looked down to play with my fingers.
"You seem to make it your life mission to prove it everyday, though."
"I don't." I said on the defensive but then whispered, "do I?"
"Yes." He nodded and I sighed.
"Then, I'm sorry." I stared intently into his eyes to prove ny apology was as sincere as they came. "But you do act like an ass sometimes." I add and his expression morphed back into a scowl. Oops. "But you do!" I said.
"You force me to act like one." He grumbled and I took on the expression of surprise.
"I do not!"
"You have slapped me four times." He pointed out.
"Who told you to keep track?" I put my hands on my hips. He seemed amused by my response but quickly hid that fact under his scowl. "You make me want to slap you."
"I see this conversation going nowhere." He said and turned back to the dishes.
"It would have gone somewhere if you could just be straight forward and answered me."
"Like the way you're being? Cause the way I see it, you switch moods pretty easily."
"Don't put this on me." I crossed my arms and took a defensive stance.
"Forget it. There is no point in talking to you." He finished cleaning the plates and I opened my mouth to speak but closed it just as quick.
***
"Ezra?" I whispered in the dark as I kept my eyes fixed on the vague ceiling above. "Ezra, are you awake?" I asked softly but all I heard was his equalized breathing. I sighed and craned my neck to the side to see the large expanse of his back bathed in faint moonlight. "Our discussion didn't exactly go anywhere." I said stupidly. Come on, Clara, he's sleeping! Do you seriously want to discuss this in the middle of the night? I brushed my thoughts away and continued, "I'm sorry, okay? I just... you..." I took a deep breath and formulated my sentences correctly.
"Look, I know that if you weren't asleep, you wouldn't believe me but... you're not... you're not Lucifer. You... have proven in so many instances that you care." I chew on my lower lip as I think about those numerous instances. The changing of the cuffs, taking me to my store and sorting things out with Sally amongst numerous other things. "I'm sorry I made you feel like that and I'm sorry if I... no, I'm sorry for hurting you in more ways than one." I sighed again and looked back up at the ceiling. "I know you try to hide behind that... arrogant ass look that you maintain throughout the day but I also know that that is not you. Try, Ezra, try keeping it up but you are an angel, no matter how many times you disagree. No matter how many times I say different too."
I looked back at him again, still finding him asleep. I continued in my hushed tone, "you care. And you haven't ever stopped caring. The book you gave on your dad's birthday... I don't know what happened or what Jeremiah did or said but you are a good person, Ezra. More good than anybody I have ever met. So no, you aren't Lucifer and I won't make such comments ever again." I turned to face away from him but kept my cuffed hand behind me in an effort to give both of us some turning space. "Good night, Ezra." I whispered on an end note and finally let peaceful sleep overcome me.