14. HAVE PATIENCE
24 Hours Later
Aiden had almost been on his way to meet his maker twenty-four hours ago.
It's a miracle that he's still alive and breathing right now. A miracle that his liver is still functioning as it should despite all the years of reckless drinking that Aiden has subjected it to.
On his way home with Julian, Aiden still feels a little bit under the weather, but overall, he's glad to be alive when things could have easily taken a turn for the worst yesterday. Aiden shudders to think about what might have happened had he not actually pulled through. He can't imagine the amount of pain and despair that his family would've inevitably gone through had he not recovered and woke up.
He can imagine, however, how pissed off he'd feel if he had crossed over to the other side without having told Julian how he truly felt about him, how he cared about him, and how he desperately wanted to be with him in every way possible.
Having come so close to losing his life, Aiden realized – finally – that he needed to stop being so damn stubborn and just go after what, or who, it is that he wants.
And right now, more than anything, he wants to be with Julian McAndrew.
"You'll have to be patient with me. Relationships aren't really my thing, but I know what I feel and I know what I want. I've known it since we first kissed, but I was too scared to admit it to myself at the time..."
Aiden looked over at Julian in the driver's seat, quietly admiring his features while he drove them home from the hospital.
Julian was listening to every word that Aiden had said, but visually, he seemed to be in another zone. It was late and both men were tired, but for whatever reason, it was now for when Aiden had finally decided to tell Julian how he'd been feeling ever since the first day that he laid his eyes on him.
And damn if this wasn't one of the hardest things that he's ever had to do in his entire life.
"It's you, Julian." Aiden's eyes lowered to his and Julian's conjoined hands which were laying on the armrest between them. "I want to be with you."
Aiden, feeling uneasy by his bodyguard's sudden inability to speak, squeezed Julian's hand to try and get his attention. It failed. And as if this wasn't hard enough for Aiden to be so open about his feelings...his feelings for a man of all things, the least that Julian could do was acknowledge him.
"Hello? Did you hear me or have I just been talking to my fucking self this entire time?"
"I heard every word you said, Grayson. Just give me a minute, okay? This is a lot for me to process," Julian whispered, keeping his eyes on the road. His heart was pounding rapidly in his chest while he struggled to remain impassive about the sticky situation he's found himself in. "Your family is staying over tonight and I don't want to get tied up in such a serious conversation right now. We should talk about this later when we'll have more privacy."
Aiden withdrew his hand from Julian's, staring at him in disbelief.
They liked each other, right? They had something going on between them, didn't they? Aiden couldn't have been imagining it all. Not unless... Have the tables turned already? Did he not act fast enough in telling his bodyguard how he really felt about him and because of that, Julian has gotten cold feet?
"I don't want to talk about this later," Aiden replied in a sharp tone after he and Julian pulled into his driveway and parked. "I want to talk about this now. Why are you acting so indifferent? Have I done something wrong that I don't know about?"
"You haven't done anything wrong, Grayson." Julian turned the car off and turned in his seat to look into the eyes of a man that just might be more than what he could handle. "Listen, I like you. I really do, but you have to think logically here. We're still strangers to each other and with you just now getting in touch with your feelings for me, another man, I-I don't know. I just don't think that we should be jumping head first into something that neither of us is really ready for."
"What exactly are you trying to say, Julian?" Aiden muttered, annoyed. "I feel like you're beating around the bush."
"You may think that you know what you want right now, but who's to say that a week from now your mind won't change and you'll want something different," Julian answered, eyeing Aiden intently. "That you'll want someone different."
"That won't happen," Aiden stated matter-of-factly.
"You don't know that," Julian said.
"Neither do you." Aiden steadily grew frustrated. The one time that he opens up to a person - it backfires. He couldn't have felt more embarrassed. "So let me get this straight - you like me but you don't want to date me because, what...? You're afraid that I might wake up one day and want to be with a woman? Is that it?"
Julian shrugged his shoulders in response.
"I'm telling you right now that I want you, Julian," Aiden said. "I don't know how many times I've said it already, but rather than embrace that, it sounds to me that you're already looking for reasons for us to not be together. So which is it? Am I not good enough for you? Do I come with too much baggage?"
Aiden was red in the face, feeling a little bit of every emotion known to man.
"I'm sorry that I can't be squeaky clean like Lance fucking Joyner," he said. "I'm a little rough around the edges, sue me."
"You've got it all twisted," Julian chuckled and then grabbed Aiden by the hand, wanting to bring this conversation to a peaceful close. "Will you calm down and let me try to better explain myself?"
"Yes, please, because I want to know why you feel the way that you do." Aiden moved closer to Julian, close enough to where the two were face to face. "Help me make sense out of what you're trying to say, Julian."
For whatever reason, arguing with Julian made Aiden incredibly hot... in more ways than one.
"So what if I'm new to this lifestyle. You're not. You can teach me everything that I need to know. Be my teacher. Be my mentor. I'm always eager to learn new things..." A mischievous smile crept upon Aiden's face. Julian blushed. "It'll do you no good fighting with me." Aiden placed a hand on Julian's thigh and gave it a light squeeze while his own manhood hardened at the same time. "You should know by now that I always get what I want, so do yourself a favor and put up that white flag. Stop fighting with me, just give in." Aiden's hand slowly traveled up Julian's thigh and both men were on the verge of losing themselves. "Kiss me, Julian."
Julian's breathing became uneven as he and Aiden stared each other down. Usually, he had more self-control when thrown in such tempting situations like the one he's in now; however, when it came to being around a man like Aiden Grayson, as much as Julian hated to admit it, he was simply weak around his boss.
And that made him vulnerable in the worst way.
"No," Julian whispered shakily.
"Kiss me." Aiden cupped Julian's manhood, causing them both to moan. "I won't ask you again."
"Damn you." Julian cracked under the pressure and threw himself at his boss. He held Aiden's head gently in his hands while their tongues danced with one another in the most erotic way.
For Aiden, it'd only been a few days since he'd gotten laid, but for Julian, on the other hand, he hadn't slept with anyone since breaking up with Lance almost three months ago. Undeniably so, his hormones were raging right about now.
"If you keep trying to unbutton my fucking pants I swear I'll drag you into the backseat of this car and do something to your ass that you're not ready for," Julian warned. Aiden's hands stopped what they were doing after Julian broke off their steamy kiss. "You're not ready for that, trust me."
"Don't tell me what I'm not ready for," Aiden panted, wanting more from his bodyguard. "One day, I'll—"
"Yes, Grayson. One day, but that day isn't today. So get a hold of yourself." Julian straightened himself up in his seat while he tried to catch his breath. "Baby steps are what we have to take if you're really serious about us being a thing."
"I am serious," Aiden said in a hurry. "I've never been more serious about anything in my entire life."
"Then it'd help if you started acting like it," Julian replied. "You need to learn how to better control yourself, Grayson. And hell, I do too. We can't just fool around like a pair of horny teenagers anymore. This is too reckless, especially for a guy like you. I mean, for Christ's sake, your entire family is literally twenty feet away from us in your house right now. Are you ready to explain everything to them had one of them came outside and caught us making out?"
"No," Aiden whispered after he glanced over at his home, finally coming back down to earth.
"That's what I thought." Julian, feeling both frustrated and horny as fuck, exited the car in a hurry as he made his way towards the front door of his temporary home.
Julian was trying hard to give Aiden the benefit of the doubt, yet again. He knew that this was only the beginning for Aiden. He knew that time was something that Aiden would need in order to accept himself and become more comfortable in his own skin now that he's experienced something outside of what he's used to - women.
Julian knew that Aiden wasn't ready to come out to his family or to the world even though he'd already come out to himself, in a way. Julian told himself that he would wait for Aiden, wait for him to become comfortable with himself and in who he was, whether it was gay or bisexual.
However, Julian's already spent enough time in the closet and he wasn't going to go back in it, not for Aiden Grayson or for any other man.
So, while he'd wait for Aiden, he wouldn't do so forever.
. . .