So here I was, laying restlessly in my tent. Tossing and turning, my mind exploding with what happened between Kaidan and I.
After he walked back with me to camp, I told him I need my space.
He didn't protest, and so he left me to my own personal hell.
I don't know what to feel - happiness? Dread? Shame? Regret?
Regret..
Regret...
Regret.
Such a short, commen word, yet it describes such a powerful emotion.
I quietly sit back up, it's still dark and the last of the other students stumbled back here about 2 hours ago.
So I'm guessing it's around 2 a.m.
I can't breath in this tiny enclosure anymore, so I decided to get out and get some fresh air.
I unzipped my tent, and as I got out fresh air invaded my senses.
I took a much needed breath and instantly felt better. But only just.
I heard a small giggle to my left and saw some guy sneaking out of Vanessa's tent. Ugh. What happened to her? 4 months ago she was my best friend, and she always rejected every guy who ever hit on her. I guess Danny changed that for her.
Suddenly I felt enraged at the thought of them together.
I stood silently infront of my tent, just enjoying nature and trying to forget everything, if only for a little while.
After about 10 minutes I could feel myself calm down a bit. You would think sex with a guy whom you found attractive would make you happy or some shit, but my god I was feeling awful. I couldn't describe the feeling even if my life was at stake. The word that could partly explain it would be horrible. I felt horrible.
But why? I couldn't decipher why I felt like this.
I was so exausted, but I couldn't sleep. My eyes wandered around the campsite, searching for something. But what? When my eyes fell on it - I knew.
I had to talk to him. Explain to him it was a mistake, that alcohol was to blame here. But was it?
Only the crunching echoes of my bare feet on some dead plant matter was heard as I was approaching his tent.
I stopped briefly - taking a big gulp of air. I need to do this now.
I bent down against the tent, listening as I quietly whisper.
"Kaidan?"
"Are you awake?" I quickly ask.
I heard a soft groan, telling me he was asleep.
"Kaidan! Come on." I whisper yell.
"Huh? What? Stormlyn?" His voice low and sleepy.
"Open up you stupid ass." I instruct him impatiently.
"Hold up." He groans out.
I look around as I wait for him to open up.
After a few seconds I heard the zipper.
"What's wrong?" He questions half asleep.
"Everything!" I mumble out a bit too loud.
He just gives me a flat look.
"I feel like I betrayed someone." I confess silently.
"What? Why?" He asks while grabbing a shirt.
"What happened was wrong Kaidan." I bit out with a sigh.
He kept silent, as to contiplate what I was saying.
"You slept with Danny. How is this different?" He suddenly asks.
"What? I loved him. We were together for 3 years." I defend.
Seriously, how could he compare that, to this. It's nowhere nearly the same.
"Okay, so you woke me up just to yell at me?" He eyes me while yawning between words.
"No!" I stated a bit too loud and too quick.
"Then why?" He urges me on.
I sigh. Why did I wake him?
I shake my head in defeat.
"I.. I don't know. I guess I want you to tell me it was a mistake. That you regret it. Shit.. I don't fuckin know." My shoulders slump as the words leave my mouth.
He looks me over. Taking in every inch of me before answering me.
And the words he spoke next just made it so, so much worse.
"But I don't." He answers godsmack honestly.
I look at him seriously, biting my lip while pondering on what he is playing at.
We stood in silence for a moment, then I quickly ducked out of his tent.
He didn't try to stop me, which I was thankful for.
I made my way back to my tent and tried to get some sleep.
############################
A horrible sound made its way into my hearing. I jolt up with such a speed that my head immediately started pounding.
I grunt in annoyance. I must have fallen asleep, even if it did feel hopeless to try.
I heard the loud chattering and shuffling of the students and guessed it's time for packing up and hitting the road.
I quickly changed into fresh clothes, not wasting time on brushing my hair and that type of frivolities.
Once everything was packed, I made my way outside to pack up the tent. Only took me about 10 minutes to do that when I started to move my things to Kaidan's car.
He was already there, his things packed, only waiting for me.
When he took notice of me he made an effort to come help me carry. We didn't greet each other. There was only an awkward silence between us.
Once my stuff was loaded I walked around to the passenger side and got in. Kaidan got in next to me at the driver's side and started the car.
We made our way out of the camping site slowly, but once we hit the main road he pushed down on the accelerator.
I just gave him a bitch glare and I could tell he saw me.
He had a little smirk on his stupid face.
"Slow the fuck down idiot!" I swear at him.
"Or what?" He taunts me.
"You are unbearable you know!" I snap.
He will get us killed, no - me. He will get me killed.
He started to slow down considerably, much to my relief.
We drove in silence the rest of the way.
When we finally entered the grounds to Lucas' mansion, I started to get queasy. I felt sick.
When the car came to a full stop, I litterally jumped out of the Audi.
I didn't even get my stuff. I just went straight for 'my' room.
I needed a hot shower. I felt gross and dirty and everything nasty.
Lucky for me I only passed some servants whom I asked to bring in my stuff.
I made my way into my room and headed straight for the bathroom.
I stripped completely while I opened the hot water to the shower.
When it was hot enough, I adjusted the cold water and took a much needed shower and washed my hair.
After a while I decided I was in there long enough.
I got out and grabbed a towel, drying off and folding it around me before going back to my room.
As I entered, my eye caught something on my bed.
An envelope.
It was quite elegant looking.
I grabbed it and studied it for a moment.
It was silver with black cursive writing on it.
It read 'Stormlyn Mareu'.
I opened it carefully.
There was a beautiful card inside, only this time black with silver words.
I read it over.
Dear Stormlyn
Your presence will be required on Saturday as it is your and Lucas' engagement party. The dress code is a black and white masquerade ball, until the time will come to introduce you to the kingdom, when all masks will be removed.
Yours sincerily,
Joshua
Joshua? Who is he? Anyway.
I put the envelope down on a nearby side table with the card on top it.
I quickly changed into something for the day that's comfy, I was going nowhere but loafing in my room.
Tada! Sorry took so long, I was finished with this 2 weeks ago just wasnt lus (Afrikaans word) to upload dont kill me!
Freakynikki ^()^