"Come on Hayden it's time for school!" Aunt Carrie yelled from the stairs to wake me up.
What she didn't know was that I was already awake, and sitting on my bed with my back against the wall.
Today was my first day of senior year and yet I felt nothing.
With a sigh, I got off my bed and went to the bathroom to get ready for school. I took a long shower and then brushed my teeth, combed my hair and lastly got dressed.
I wore a simple white T-shirt with a pair of off-white jeans with my white supra high tops and a grey hoodie. I always wore a hoodie. It's easier to ignore people with a hood over your head.
I used to have long hair that reached my mid back but now I had a short boy cut. I never wore makeup and accessories. Things have changed. They've changed a lot.
It has been like three years since my parents died. And it still feels like it happened just yesterday.
I walked out of my room with my backpack. I headed downstairs and the smell of freshly cooked pancakes surrounded me.
I made my way to the kitchen and that's where I saw aunt Carrie cooking pancakes.
Aunt Carrie was the only one I'd got now. Since my parents passing I stopped talking and expressing. I stopped feeling all together.
She tried to make me talk, open up to her but I just couldn't.
Couldn't or wouldn't?
She tried really hard but then she just stopped. She told me that she wasn't giving up on me, but that she was giving me space and time and that I would one day talk to her on my own without her persuading me. She told me that she would always be there for me.
And I believed her, I still believe her now. And I know that I always will.
"So, new day today as a senior? How do you feel?" Aunt Carrie asked while setting a plate of pancakes on the dining table.
Like usual I stared at her and without saying a word, sat down and started eating.
She sighed and went to get coffee.
'I have to say these pancakes are wonderful'.
But I didn't.
After finishing my breakfast, I put the plate in the kitchen sink and made my way towards the door.
"Bye honey. And have fun on your first day." Was the only thing I heard before going out of the house.
Aunt Carrie was used to my silence now. And she understood my actions really well.
I put the hood over my head and started my walk to school which was only 10 minutes away from home.
A car zoomed past me and I couldn't help but to look at it.
It was my best friend's car, well actually ex best friend, Kyle.
With him in his car was the one and only, Jordan Dean.
Jordon, being a jock and all was in the popular crowd. He was well respected in school due to his father being the principal of the school.
He had girls all over him like any other jock. He was a good athlete. He had sportsman ship too, but only on the field. He was the one that started bullying me when my parents died and I was dealing with the shock.
He called me names, pushed me while walking, threw my books every chance he got, filled my locker with paint and worst, he would always find a way to hurt me during p.e.
Being a lesbian didn't even help either. He was a homophobe and thought that guys and girls should never be equals. Simply put he's a sexist that thought girls should only work as a mother or a wife.
So yeah, I hated him a lot.
After ten minutes, I got to school and went to the administrative office to get my timetable.
After receiving it, I went over to my assigned locker for this year. I opened it and took the books out which I would need for today.
Just when I closed my locker, I was pushed hard into it.
Knowing who had done it, I just stayed silent and held in the pain that was shooting through my shoulder.
Laughter boomed through the hall way which was now filled with students.
"Little Dyke is gonna stay mute forever, huh?" He mockingly said.
I was still facing the locker with an expressionless face. I didn't want to tell him that his push had hurt me. I wanted to stay strong in front of him. I wanted to tell him that his stupid antics wouldn't weaken me even if he tried forever.
Slowly I faced him with no emotion. I saw that the students were gathered around us waiting for some action. Behind Jordon was Kyle, who had a vacant look in his eyes, as if he wasn't affected by anything in the slightest bit.
"Ooh, the dyke's looking at me, I think she's gonna hit me." He said breaking into laughter again.
I ignored his disgusting laughter and started to walk away from him.
He gripped my arm hard and pushed me towards the lockers again. He had his eyes fixated on me and his nose flaring.
He was angry, why? Because I ignored him. He jerked me away from the lockers just to push me back again.
I forced the pain to not be seen on my face. I remained emotionless.
"You better not ignore me again or I'd totally hurt you more than I do now." He said with anger evident in his tone of voice.
He let me go and walked away from the crowd towards his class, I think.
Slowly, the crowd also disappeared leaving me alone in the hall way.
I picked up my books that had fallen because of Jordan's pushing and started to go to my first class too.
My shoulder was aching really much but I was just ignoring the pain like I did for the last three years. Pain had become like second nature to me. It didn't hurt as much as it did before. Maybe because the pain was gone?
No, the pain was there. I just got used to it.
I entered my class and whispers began among the other students.
I was used to the whispers and the stares so I just went to the back of the class and sat down on the seat beside the window.
A while later the class was filled with students and the teacher arrived in the class.
"Okay class. Settle down." He said to the class who was talking but quieted down once he began speaking.
I zoned him out and looked out the window at the blue sky.
How I wish I could fly in the sky like a bird. Birds are such lucky creatures, they get to be free and they get to fly.
I felt a tap on my shoulder and whipped my head to the source of the tap.
I was met by green, lots of green. Wait, there were specks of grey too.
So, grayish green. Beautiful.
A cough got me out of my state. I looked at this girl whose eyes were grayish green and she had a smirk playing on her lips.
Her hair, long enough to reach her butt, the color of dark brown almost black. She had her legs crossed.
"Take a picture, it'll last longer."
And I was once again brought out of my trance. I looked up at her face again. She was smirking even more now, if that was even possible.
Wait. I can't believe I just checked her out in front of her.
I looked away from her as I stared at the board and I could see from the corner of my eye that she frowned at me.
After a moment, she tapped my shoulder again.
'What does this girl want?'
I looked at her again but this time I showed her no expression.
I couldn't show her any emotion and I definitely shouldn't check her out again.
She frowned again but quickly hid it behind a smile. I could tell it was fake.
"My name's Claire Brown." She said while extending her hand out for me to shake.
I looked at her outstretched hand and then at her face.
'More like Claire Green.'
I didn't move nor did I say anything which caused her to frown again and this time she didn't hide it.
She put her outstretched hand on her desk and kept staring at me. I ignored her stare and once again looked out the window.
"You know, its mean to ignore someone who's trying to be nice to you." She said with attitude and I ignored her once again hoping she'd get the hint but no.
She coughed to get my attention but I just kept looking out the window. Ignoring her completely.
After class, the girl Claire was talking to the teacher. I was about to leave silently but the teacher called me.
What did he say his name was?
'Oh yeah, Mr. Hayes.'
I looked at him to say what he wanted to say.
He first looked confused but eventually started talking.
"Claire is new here so I think that it would be helpful to her if you show her around and maybe take her to her next class." Mr. Hayes said with pleading eyes.
I just slowly nodded with a sigh.
'Great. I need to show her around now.'
I started walking out the class and she followed me.
"Wow. So, you don't even talk to the teacher. That's really rude." She said.
I kept walking towards my next class not even bothering to know which class she had to go to.
"Is it because you can't talk?" She asked worried now.
I stopped and looked at her. She was looking at me too now.
'I can talk, I just don't want to bother.'
I got a sudden push to my shoulder and I fell to the ground as I heard a gasp followed by Claire asking me if I was okay.
"Oh, did little miss mute get a girlfriend?" Jordon asked while standing in front of me.
My shoulder was aching now more than before.
Great. It's like he was aiming for my right shoulder like before.
"Why would you do that, jerk?!" Claire said standing up to him. While I was just lying on the ground trying to make the pain of my shoulder go away.
"Hey, you look new here and you're hot too. So, I'll give you a tip. Stay away from this mute dyke. It would be for the better." He said to her to which I was thanking him on the inside.
At least she won't try to talk to me again.
"Come on Jordon. It's time for class. She's not worth it." I heard an all too familiar voice speaking to Jordon. I should've broken because of the coldness in his voice but I felt nothing.
Jordon and Kyle left and Claire kneeled in front of me, to help me get up.
She touched my shoulder to help me up but I just flinched. I slowly stood up with her help. I looked at her and I could see many emotions.
Worry was the prime emotion out of many. She reminded me of how I used to be.
I was nice like her. I was bright and cheery. But best of all, I communicated. But that was before and this is now.
She still had her hand on my shoulder which I gently shrugged. She was about to say something but I just walked away from her.
Leaving her standing there alone.
This situation reminded me so much of Kyle. I pushed him away just as I was pushing this girl away.
I didn't even know her. I didn't even know anything about her. She didn't know anything about me. I knew she would forget about me the moment she got friends.
Maybe that would be for the better. I didn't want to deal with this girl. I didn't want to deal with emotions. And she looked as a bundle of emotions waiting to be let out.
The emotion that can break your heart is sometimes the very one that heals it.
- Nicholas sparks, at first sight.