After our conversation, Harry left the room. Finally, I could think about what just happened.
It was simple. Harry asked me to go to London with him and I said no. I had to be home and make a couple trips to the cemetery. Like I said before, I was also scared. Terrified.
I was scared because I didn't know what would happen in London. I didn't want Harry thinking anything about us that since he kissed me, he could do it again or whatever. It was just a kiss, but... I don't know. To me, it felt like something more than that, but I didn't want to talk about that with him.
I didn't want to kiss him, but I did. I didn't want to kiss him because I know, if we do more than that, or become more than that, things will happen and our friendship will be ruined. I just know. And I don't want to lose my friendship with Harry. God, I don't. I don't know what I would do without him.
It's just hard, you know? The boy in front of your eyes is the boy you're falling in love with, but you don't want to be more than just friends because you're afraid. You're afraid of what will happen. You're afraid of change.
And I hate that. I hate how society and people can ruin things in a fucking instant. It's messed up. They get in the way if something starting or blossoming, then it just explodes and dies. It's terrible.
I'm so thankful that Harry was there, but I regret the kiss. I regret it. I shouldn't have leaned in and he shouldn't have either. We both should've stopped, but... I don't know.
I'm confused when I kissed him as I am with myself.
Just then, Harry interrupted my thoughts, coming into the kitchen dressed.
"I am going to go out. I'm going to catch up with some friends if that is okay with you."
I looked at him, and he seemed to be occupied by putting on his coat.
"Yeah, that's fine. Take the keys to the other car, not mine. I'm going to go out too, I think."
He nodded. I didn't want him to take my car. The other car was my parents and I guess I didn't mind Harry taking it. It really didn't bother me.
He opened the door and grabbed the keys off the rack.
"I'll see you later, Annie." He smiled
"Bye, Harry."