Tris's pov
Im walking down the hallway with the new kid Brandon. He seems really nice. He kinda looks like Tobias. Same skin tone, kinda muscular, short brown hair. But in the place of Tobias's striking blue eyes Brandon has green ryes that shine like emeralds. All in all very similar but i can tell even just having met Brandon they have two totally separate personalities.
(Bold-brandon, regular-tris, italics-tris thoughts, bold italics-brandon thoughts)
So Brandon, where are you from?
Brooklyn. My family moved here over the summer.
Why didnt you start school on the first day?
I wanted time to adjust and visit with family. We moved here at the end of the summer.
Oh, well welcome to Chicago!
Thanks. Um Tris can i ask you a question?
Yeah sure.
What was with that guy back there; your boyfriend im assuming?
Oh he is just kinda protective over me. He just want to keep me safe and doesnt really like the idea of me walking iff with some guy he doesnt know.
He seemed like you were just a hand to hold.
Excuse me?!?!?And what exactly does that mean?!!?!?
Im just saying when he kissed you there was no passion or love. And when he said i love you there wasnt love in his eyes. I dont know what i saw but it sure as hell wasnt love.
Who are you to come in and tell me about who i love. I love him with all my heart.
Yeah but the question is does he love you?
Brandon if you'll excuse me i think i need to be alone right now.
I didnt mean to upset you i just.... I dont know. I didnt like the look of that guy.
Just leave me alone!
I dont know why i snapped at him. Oh yes i do. Its because every word he said i had thought to myself. Hearing it said out loud kind of opened a door to me. Im sure Tobias loves me. But does he love me as a soul mate or a possession?
I dont know what to think. I just dont want to think this. I put trust in him. I did the most dangerous thing i could have possibly done. I trusted someone again. If this turns out badly i dont know what will happen or what i will do. Right now Tobias is all i have and im leaning on him the way you lean on a crutch when you have a broken leg. Because thats what i am. But i dont just have one broken piece. Im made of a million broken pieces. Nobody can cure me of the heart ache and trouble i have been through but being with Tobias, finally being loved, numbed the pain to a point when it was just a light weight in my heart.
What would happen if my crutch were to fall and leave me. Would i have a relapse? Would i do something worse? These are the hard questions i have always put in the back of my mind but wont seem to shove back into the vault i lick them away in.
Yes i did say relapse. When i left my Aunts house i started doing drugs, partying all the time, and i was never sober for any of it. I never told Tobias this because i dont want him to feel like hes trapped in a relationship. I dont want him to know that leaving me could quite possibly kill me.
I cant take anymore. I so willingly put all my trust into Tobias and leaned on him without even realizing i was doing it. I forgot the one helpful thing my Aunt taught me. Trust is earned. Can i stay in this relationship knowing it could kill me? Could i leave knowing it could have the same effect?
Hey yall! Very emotional chapter to write. Sorry if its kinda sucky i wrote it after 4 staight hours if homework. Sorry for not updating sooner my life just keeps getting harder and harder. I dont mean to bring my problems to the story but i just wanted to assure you im not skipping an update because im lazy. Its been a hard time in my family and things keep getting harder. But with the support if u guys and the outlet of writing im getting through it. I love you all so so much. Luv yall 😍😘