S U M M E R//
Midsummer, Amycus and Alecto arrived at Malfoy Manor. I listened from the top of the stairs to their conversation with Lucius and Narcissa.
"We need to take her to her home in London," Alecto stated. "Now that Celia is gone, Iris must retrieve any belongings she wants to keep."
"The Ministry wants to demolish the home," Amycus continued explaining. "They do not wish to have a home of a traitor of the Dark Lord to remain."
"Celia handed the child over!" Lucius hissed.
"But she defied his prior wishes. She learned how to be a traitor from our filthy aunt and her husband," Alecto sneered. Aunt...? "Heather and Charles Éclatant were disgraces to Pureblood wizards. We expect Iris to continue to be raised correctly here. Isn't that what you wanted, Lucius? Celia died for all the wrong reasons. Iris always deserved better than what she got."
"We will need to take her before the sun sets," Amycus cleared his throat. "If you would call her down." There was a pause before Narcissa called my name. I reluctantly walked down the stairs to greet the Carrows. The siblings frowned before Alecto grabbed my arm and Apparated us out of the manor.
"You didn't even explain where we are going." I swallowed hard and held my stomach. I still had not become used to Apparition.
"I think you know quite well, you little sneak." Amycus led Alecto and I down a stone path and to a house I forgot even existed.
"The Ministry wants to tear down the home because of Celia?" I approached the door and gripped the handle.
"She and the rest of your family were a disgrace to Pureblood families and the Dark Lord. They called themselves Death Eaters, but they were nothing more than blood-traitor scum!" Amycus shoved me aside an unlocked the door to the home with Alohomora.
"You take that back!" I shouted, following him into the home.
"Do you not agree? The Dark Lord knows quite well you never wanted to be like them," Alecto continued in after us. "Is that what you always think and say? I will never be like them."
"Those are private thoughts!" I argued.
"Nothing is private once you become a Death Eater." Amycus picked up a few items from a table and stuffed them into his pocket.
"I don't understand how you can be so harsh to Celia. She was your cousin, was she not?" I gritted my teeth as I watched the siblings search the home for valuables.
"She was no family member to us once she betrayed the Dark Lord. Just like your mother." Amycus definitely was the harsher sibling. He always had something rude to say it seemed. "She acted on her own behalf rather than the Dark Lords', even when she did hand you over."
"You said... Earlier you said she was--"
"Our aunt, yes," Alecto interrupted. "Distantly. That makes you our cousin." The woman grinned as she entered another room. My life kept getting more and more complicated, and even more connected to Voldemort.
I wanted out.
I walked down a narrow hallway that led to my old room. It was how I left it all those summers ago. Books scattered on my bed and desk. On my bookshelf, pictures of Harry, Hermione and myself on our first day at Hogwarts. Cho, Luna, Marietta and me at the Quidditch Cup cheering on Ravenclaw as they played Slytherin, and little me, age five or so, at the beach with my parents. I found a suitcase in the room and used it to pack all the pictures. I came across another picture. Grand-mere stood next to me, her hand rested on my shoulder. Neither of us smiled. The woman never smiled, but I noticed something I hadn't before. Her eyes, those piercing eyes, looked so sad. Perhaps she always looked that way, and I never noticed. Or maybe it was that I never understood why she always acted so harshly. I know, now. I did not bother to grab any clothes from the closet, as I outgrew them by then. I took a few books, and bid farewell to my old room. I heard Alecto and Amycus bicker in the study, but passed them by to find Celia's room. In all the years we lived in London, I never dared enter her room without permission, which she hardly ever gave me. The black curtains forbid any sunlight to enter the small bedroom, and the single lamp that sat on her nightstand did not offer any light. I sank onto her bed, lined in silky chocolate sheets. Her books were neatly lined on her shelves, and her pictures sat in a row on her desk, which I recognized as one of grand-mére's pieces of furniture. I noticed a particular picture of her and me kicking sand at each other at the beach. My lips curved upward slightly. I enjoyed seeing us so happy, but it made me sick to think that all those years she and the rest of my family were keeping such dark secrets from me. I stood, grabbed the picture gently and placed it in the suitcase with the rest of the photographs. I noticed a lock on one of the drawers, and tilted my head slightly as the other drawers were not locked. I pulled my wand from my pocket, and whispered 'alohomora.' Nothing happened. I tucked my wand behind my ear, something Luna did often.
"Password," I jumped and looked around the room to find the source of the voice, "Down here." I turned back to the desk and knelt in front of the lock.
"S'that you talking?" I raised a brow.
"Indeed. Password?" The lock replied.
"I don't know it," I frowned, unsure of what to say. "S'there a hint of some sort?"
"Bringer of joy." The lock stated.
"Thas' all you can tell me?" I asked.
"Password?" It repeated.
"Bloody hell," I sighed. Bringer of joy? Like a person? Or an object?
"Porteur de la joie?" I asked hopefully, but did not expect it to be correct. That would be too easy. Celia was smarter than that. Certainly she would not have her hint be the answer.
"Incorrect. Guess again."
"Alright, Iris, think." I mumbled to myself.
"Correct." The lock cheered. I heard a small 'click' and the drawer opened on it's own.
"Quoi?" I raised a brow.
"The password is Iris," The lock answered. "Bringer of joy."
I smiled and looked in the drawer to find a stack of envelopes. I pulled them out to see they were all addressed to me. Most of them were from Hermione, some from Mrs. Weasley, a good handful from Cho, one or two from Luna, and even one from Marietta. These are from summers ago! Celia hid all my letters...I set the letters aside and pulled a folded piece of parchment from the bottom of the drawer. I opened it to find a small extension of my family tree.
"Iris!" Amycus yelled. "We are leaving." I quickly folded the parchment up an stuffed it inside the suitcase before I ran out of the room to join the siblings.
❁ ❁ ❁
Amycus and Alecto dropped me off at the manor and quickly Apparated out. I suspected they went to Gringotts to store any valuables they found, or rather, stole. The Malfoys all sat in the living area, and I hoped to sneak past them and lock myself in my room to better study my findings, but Bellatrix, who Apparated in for only a few minutes, appeared in front of me.
"The itty baby is back!" She shouted, pinching my cheek before she walked down the nearest hall.
"Iris?" Narcissa called. I sighed and entered the living area, suitcase still in hand. "You grabbed everything you needed, then?"
"I suppose," I sat beside her on the couch. Lucius and Draco sat together on the opposite side of the coffee table. "Could you help me look over something?"
"Of course, dear, what is it?" She watched as I unlatched the locks on my suitcase and pulled the folded parchment from it. I laid the parchment flat on the table. Lucius leaned forward in his seat, eager to see the image placed before him.
"Your family tree, is it?" He asked.
"I believe so. I hardly recognize any of the names."
"Your parents kept a lot from you," Lucius's eyes wandered over the tree. "They raised you entirely incorrectly. In more ways than one. They should have raised you with the knowledge of your ancestors so you would grow to be proud of who you are rather than ashamed and kept in the dark."
"How are you supposed to tell your child that she belongs to a family filled with those in support of Voldemort?" I whispered, causing the man to shut his mouth. "Which one is the girl who was murdered?"
"What?" Lucius flicked his eyes up.
"You told me once that the only other Ravenclaw in my family was killed for being a blood-traitor. Which one is she?" My eyes wandered over the tree. It would be impossible to tell just by names. There was a fair extension of my mother's side in addition to my father's. I spotted Alecto and Amycus on the tree. The looked so young in their pictures. Beside them was Celia underneath her parents' names, which had been scratched from the parchment. "Does this mean they..." I paused. Of course that meant they were dead. Their pictures were partially scratched out as well. I could barely make out their features. Most of the name's of those above my grand-mere were scratched out. I supposed that meant most of my family died before or near my birth. The picture of me, I knew, was taken at age six. Which meant the family tree was not too old. Ten years at the most. I wonder if there is a larger tree elsewhere?
"We had a tree painted on the walls of my home when I was younger," Narcissa interrupted my thoughts. "It's charmed to add a face and a name whenever a child is born. Mother also scratched out the names of those who died or..."
Her voice trailed off. Whatever else she meant to say clearly caused some sort of emotional discomfort. "My sister married a Mudblood. Bellatrix and I never spoke to her again," Narcissa closed her eyes for a moment as if she were recalling the event. "Toujours Pur. The Black Family saying."
"Always pure." I whispered. I'm sure my distant relatives used that saying at some point.
I remembered seeing the family tree when Professor Moody whisked Harry and I away to meet the Order of the Phoenix. Surely someone in my family painted one of those.
"Here," Lucius pointed to the tree, his finger on a name with a line right through it. "Carlotta Éclatant. She was the one they murdered."
I looked at Carlotta's picture. She sat in a chair with her Hogwarts uniform on. A Ravenclaw. Surely she was no younger than eighteen in the picture. Her brown hair fell at her shoulders, and she smiled softly. She didn't deserve to die.
"So this is what I come from," I sighed as I folded the parchment. "Death Eaters, murderers... I wish I could understand, but I don't. I don't understand why people like that, like you, raise families for centuries to believe certain people should be murdered because of their blood, or who they choose to love. Hermione Granger is Muggle-born, and she is the brightest girl I have ever met, and Penelope Clearwater, Muggle-born, may have been an annoying little brat, but overall she showed kindness to other students, and to think people like that are called such nasty names, to think my grandmother was best friends with the man who reopened the Chamber of Secrets years ago to try and kill them, to think I am now alleged to that same man is disgusting, and I don't understand."
"Iris..." Nariccsa tried to comfort me by stroking my hair gently. I looked to Lucius who clenched his jaw. He had something nasty to say to me. I knew it. He wanted to shout back and tell me how ungrateful I was. He wanted to yell at me for not appreciating the life I had. He wanted to tell me how it was my parents' fault for raising me to be so kind and forgiving, and to love every wizard. He wanted to scream, and curse my parents, Charles and Heather, for not raising me like he raised Draco, but most of all, he wanted to cry. He wanted to sob because his dear friends, my dear parents, chose to believe the things he only dreamed of believing. He wanted to wail, because his friends lost their lives to a child that could not understand that my parents and grandmother only wanted to protect me. He wanted to curse himself for not being able to save anyone, and not living up to his promise to my parents to keep me safe and away from the Dark Lord.
Just from that moment I understood why Lucius did not favor me. He blamed my family entirely for their own death, but he also blamed himself.
And that's how our families differed. The Éclatants stood up for themselves against the darkness. They were secretive in attempt to save one another, but that failed. The Malfoys were cowardly, obeying every order given to them by the Dark Lord, even if that meant putting their family in a bit of danger, but that, too, failed.
No one was safe from the darkness.
"It isn't your fault," I whispered to Lucius. He furrowed his brows as his lips parted slightly. "You knew they were putting their lives in danger by trying to shield me from it all. You promised them you would keep me safe, isn't that right? All those letters you exchanged with Celia must have had to do with something of the sort. And It isn't your fault I have this tattoo on my arm, and it certainly isn't your fault they're dead. It's mine. If you could have convinced them to raise me like a true Pureblood family, perhaps I wouldn't have been such a curious child. Maybe I would have not murdered them. But what's done is done...life isn't fair, I suppose."
Both Narcissa and Lucius opened their mouths to speak, but I left the room far too quickly.
❁ ❁ ❁
I received two invitations near the end of June. One from Tonks, who pleaded I try and attend her wedding. I owled her back stating that the Malfoys might not allow it. After all, Narcissa's sister married a Muggle-born member of the Tonks family, who, actually, I believe was Nymphadora's father, making Narcissa her aunt. I had nothing against the Tonks, of course, and I longed to see both Nymphadora and Professor Lupin once again, but to visit them would be too risky. The second invitation came from Mrs. Weasley. Her son, Bill, and Fleur Delacour from Beauxbatons were to be married. I knew all my friends would be there, and though I wanted to see them, Harry knew Draco and I were partially responsible for Dumbledore's death.
Mrs. Weasley, I wrote,
I am sure Harry and the Order have discussed Dumbledore's death. I would not want to bring a dour presence to an evening that is supposed to be a time of celebration. I am sure I won't be welcome by other guests.
Thank you for thinking of me. I miss you and your family terribly.
Best regards,
Iris.
Iris, dear, Mrs. Weasley sent an owl a good hour or so after, Bill and Fleur both agree you should attend their wedding. Fleur would be delighted to meet you. Arthur desperately wants to see you as well. We have been worried sick about you all summer, dear. I am sure the children will be happy to see you, too.
With love,
Molly Weasley.
I tucked the letter under the mattress of my bed. I knew if I asked Lucius and Narcissa for permission to attend the wedding, they would decline. Lucius obviously didn't like the Weasleys. Besides, with the Death Eaters prowling every inch of the wizard world, they would find me in an instant.
"Iris," I turned my head toward the door. Narcissa peeked inside. "We are having a meeting in the dining hall. The Dark Lord requests the presence of all Death Eaters."
"Righ, of course," I stood from my bed. "Is he... here. Now?"
"He is." She pursed her lips and walked with me down the stairs and into the dining hall.
I took a deep breath as my eyes settled upon a woman suspended in the air. Her body hid in the back corner of the room. Her clothes were stained in blood and her dirty blonde hair, a mangled mess. I averted my eyes to my seat next to Draco who sat next to his father. Narcissa sat in the chair beside Lucius. An empty seat remained beside Voldemort, who sat at the head of the table. A few minutes passed before Severus Snape entered the room.
"Ah," Voldemort spoke. "Severus, I was beginning to think you lost your way. Come, we've saved you a seat."
Snape slowly walked to his chair. He caught a quick glimpse of the woman who floated in the corner. He looked just as unsettled as I did. I turned my head slightly to see Draco's eyes glued to the woman.
His brows furrowed as he stared down her mangled body. He gulped as he shifted uncomfortably in his seat.
"You bring good news, I hope, Severus?" Voldemort's attention remained on the dark haired man.
"It will happen on Saturday. They will relocate the boy. Once they take him to their desired location, a safe house, presumably, it will be impossible to find the boy."
"I see," The Dark Lord's eyes settled upon me. "Have you heard anything on the matter, Iris?"
"No," I stuttered, "My Lord. I have not heard from Harry Potter nor the other students since...since the Astronomy Tower incident."
He nodded, accepting my answer. The Death Eaters continued discussing about matters concerning Harry. Voldemort then explained why he needed a new wand, one with a different core than Harry's. He stood from his seat and walked around the table slowly, waiting for someone to offer up their wand. No one moved.
"Lucius," Voldemort stood behind the Malfoy family. "Your wand."
"My Lord." Lucius looked like a child who had his favorite toy taken from him, but even so, he handed over his wand to the dark wizard.
The woman in the corner whimpered, grabbing the attention of Voldemort.
"Ah," He lifted his new wand. "I almost forgot," With a flick of the wand, the woman moved closer to the Death Eaters. Her body hovered right over the table. I furrowed my brows as I studied the woman closely. She looked familiar despite her mangled appearance. "For those of you who don't know," Voldemort continued. "We are joined tonight by Miss Charity Burbage, who until recently taught Muggle Studies at Hogwarts," A few Death Eaters laughed. "She believes Muggles are not so different from us. She would have us mate with Muggles. The mixture of Magical and Muggle blood is encouraged, and not an abomination."
"Severus," Charity pleaded. "You know me. We are friends, Severus. Please."
I thought I might faint as I helplessly watched the woman. I took a deep breath, and was a bit more comforted as I felt Draco place his hand gently on top of mine.
Voldemort watched the two Professors carefully. Snape held a bold gaze, not moving an inch, and in an instant, Voldemort waved his wand and cursed the woman. Her body collapsed onto the table with a thud. Out of the corner of my eye I saw the un-comfort plastered on Draco's face. He squeezed my hand just as the dark wizard gestured his snake slither closer.
"Nagini," Voldemort said. "Dinner."
The large creature slithered from the ground onto the table. It's tongue flicked in and out of it's mouth as it approached Charity's lifeless body. The snake's mouth opened wide, and it took it's first bite of the woman. I closed my eyes as I waited for it to be over. I felt Draco quickly release my hand.
"Is there something wrong, Miss Éclatant?" Voldemort whispered in my ear.
"N-No, My Lord." I replied, reluctant to open my eyes.
Voldemort placed the tip of his wand under my chin. He used it to tilt my head upward so that our eyes would meet. His eyes pierced into mine as he clenched his jaw. I froze.
"The little baby just isn't used to watching precious Nagini eat her snacks~" Bellatrix cackled.
"Bellatrix," Voldemort hissed. "You may all go." He addressed the entire table. He eyed me as I quickly left the room alongside the Malfoys.
We waited in the living area until all the Death Eaters parted.
"You cannot act so weak in the presence of the Dark Lord." Lucius scolded me.
"I do believe you are the one who whimpered like a child when asked to hand over your wand," I replied. "You were just as scared as I am."
Lucius did not argue.
❁ ❁ ❁
Narcissa and Lucius argued in the living area the evening. They yelled loud enough for both Draco and I to hear.
"They are children, Lucius," The woman cried. "We cannot continue to put them through this."
"What other option do we have, Narcissa?" Lucius shouted. "He will kill us all if we betray him."
"But the children--"
"We have no choice, Narcissa!"
Silence.
I stared out my window, though all I could see was the moon and stars. I heard my door open, and saw Draco's reflection in the window. I turned, forcing a smile as he stepped inside my room.
"It's late," I said. "You should be asleep."
"And what about you?" He took a seat on my bed. "Shouldn't you be sleeping?"
I joined Draco on my bed. I grabbed the large quilt and wrapped it around myself before I rested my head on his shoulder. He kissed my head, then my cheek.
"Draco..." I muttered as I pulled away.
"What is it?" He furrowed his brows.
"Nothing." I shook my head.
"You aren't still concerned about what my father thinks, are you? You and I are in this together. No matter what." He gave me a look of concern.
"Is that the only reason you and I are, well," I stuttered, not entirely sure what word to use. "Close?"
"Iris," He placed his hands on my shoulders. "No." He sputtered.
"It is, isn't it?" I stood from the bed. "You only like me because... because..." I couldn't put my thoughts into words. "Because we come from the same worlds. Sort of. I mean... we're children! Both who are also Death Eaters..."
"Iris." Draco pressed. I continued to ramble.
"You and I hated each other. You couldn't stand the thought of me. You used to be a such a brat..." I exclaimed.
"And now?" He raised a brow. I didn't answer. "You still think I'm a terrible?" He stood, too, raising his voice. "You are right, I hated you. I thought you were absolutely dreadful. Maybe you and I shouldn't..."
"Shouldn't what?" I frowned.
"You and I never should have become friends, or anything more than that." He spat and shoved past me.
He slammed my door shut as he left the room. I wanted to scream, but I settled for throwing all my pillows at the wall.
I don't need anyone, I thought, especially not Draco! I don't need anymore negativity in my life.
I scrambled through the drawers of my desk, and found a blank piece of parchment.
Dear Mrs. Weasley... I began.
I was going to attend a wedding.
[TRANSLATIONS]
porter de la joie, bearer/bringer of joy
toujours pur, always pure