🎵 Honest by the neighborhood
"I wanted to, but the words never came."
m a i s y
I thrashed around hot from the covers that clinged to my legs. I sat up, out of breath pulling at Harry's shirt that stuck to my skin. Lazily, I clambered out of bed to look for him, I made it downstairs and their was absolutely no sign from him.
I sat at the counter, eating a bowl of cereal. I looked outside watching the birds fly from tree to tree. A simple action that could carry them anywhere they truly wished to go, but the thing was they never flew too far from their nest, they always came back, they stayed in the boundaries they placed for themselves. I think that's how I treated myself with Harry, I could leave if I truly wanted to... but I chose to stay. I choose to stay. They were fly away birds, but fly away birds always come back, this I knew.
I was disrupted by my thoughts when the door opened, revealing a very disheveled Harry. His brown curls clung to his skin that glistened with sweat. He wore nothing but shorts and a pair of sneakers. His body toned and sculpted to show how fit he really was. My eyes made their way back up to his face, he gave me a simple smile showing off his signature dimples, that I had grown very fond of.
"Good morning love. You're up early, I left you a note on the fridge." He greeted.
A small frown etched on my face, instinctively my head turned to the fridge where I saw a small yellow note attached. I walked over slowly until I could read the words.
Gone for a run be back soon
Love, H
I smiled softly, "of course, I saw it I just didn't realize when you left so I was worried that's all."
"We should do something today! There's a fair tonight starts at five, it's about half an hour a way. There'll be music and games, rides....we should go." He suggested.
I thought about his offer, it was always nice leaving the house, "yeah I think that'd be fun, I'd love to go Harry."
"Really? You sure? We can always do something else if you'd like..." He trailed off.
I shook my head, "nope, I really want to go to the fair! " I exclaimed.
"Then it's settled...I'm gonna take a shower, I'll be out in a few." He smiled heading up the stairs.
I returned to looking outside, I watched as the birds flew from branch to branch. Then they took off again soaring though the sky, but fly away birds always come back, this I knew.
I got up placing my dish in the sink, I washed it serving it in the rack to dry. I walked towards the small library Harry had installed upon my arrival. It was one of my favorite places to relax, something about all the knowledge, and layering stories that surrounded me...brought along comfort.
I picked up a particular book, it was a deep darker shade of red, wine colored, with old tattered pages that stuck to the binding, it was beautiful. I started reading and was captured in a world unlike this, something better, more unimaginable than flying cars. The dialogue, and plot so engraved with rich metaphors it brought tears to my eyes. I closed the book gently pressing it to my chest, hoping that when I was old I could be as beautiful as the piece of art I held in my arms.
"What are you reading?"
I looked up and a a small gasp came from me, Harry stood against the doorframe of the room. His wet curls were limp and his deep green eyes shimmered in the light provided by the room. He had a black robe that went a few inches past his knees. I could see his chest, and the tattoos peeking from underneath the material.
I was in a trance, he walked over to me sitting beside my feet. He looked so sweet and youthful, innocent really. Especially when he looked up at me with this look, I would say of...admiration.
"Just an old book," I said showing him the cover. "What are you thinking about?" I asked.
Harry pursed his lips, " How you are unlike any other women I've been with, intelligent, beautiful, sweet, I don't deserve you." He admitted. "I really don't..."
I shook my head, "that's nonsense, everyone deserves something good in their lives, I mean...you do at least, and even if you don't deserve me...you do have me. I deserve many things but I don't have them. There's also things I don't deserve and I have them, it's life."
He nodded his head, "you're right baby."
He brought his hand against my lap making small circles. I smiled down at him, bringing my face towards his kissing his forehead and then his lips, is savored the faint taste of his lips, coffee.
I brought my hand to his hair pulling him closer to me, but I felt like I could never have him close enough until the very essence of our lives were intertwined. He was a web and I was getting trapped. I was losing myself fast. Sooner or later no morals or knowledge would be useful to me because I knew I'd pay them no attention.
"I'm sorry if I...made you upset when I confessed my love for you. But you should know it's all true. I've done horrible, such horrible things in my lifetime but if you were ever in any danger I'd die for you, and I wouldn't need to think about it."
I furrowed my eyebrows down, very upset with his confession, "why are you telling me this? I don't want anyone to risk their life for me, if ever I was in that situation make sure you don't do anything wreck less."
"I'm telling you this because it's the truth, I want to do something in my life that matters and if I needed to die for you... Well it's something I would gladly do."
I hadn't even realized it but I had started to cry, brisk-fully I wiped my tear stained cheeks, "why can't we ever have simple conversations where I don't end up upset?" I laughed.
A very short forced laugh.
"Because love, we're not simple people. We're not simple lovers, and I know you love me, whenever your ready to tell me you can. You wouldn't cry over someone you didn't love.
His lips brushed against mine in a soft, slow encounter, then I was left alone. Maybe I did love him but I wasn't ready to accept it, maybe it wasn't love but more of an admiration. I wasn't ready to attach myself to someone I could so easily lose. His business was so risky and I couldn't put myself in a position for heart break. I knew eventually I would lose him, I just didn't know when... I just didn't know when.
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Hello, the chapter was short but I really wanted to update for you guys. I really also enjoyed all you stories about school and such. If the chapter seemed kind of sad it's because right now I'm kind of sad, I just recently had a very bad dream, a nightmare really, and because I trust and love you guys so much I'm going to share with you the very personal, nightmare of mine.
We were out in the water, my sister and I on a river rafting trip. My younger sister of a year was in a kayak. Me being the older sibling, I feel the need to protect her, even though I'm only older by a year. So she was in the kayak and she tipped over, I jumped off my raft and pushed her up but the current picked up and she was about to go under again... I kept yelling at her "move your hips, ms hit your hips." So she would stay upright, and she had this awful look on her face, she was terrified, and breathing heavy, and she went under again and she was under for only 3-4 seconds when I pulled her back up. I'm crying as I write this because I was so scared, when I saw her face it was blue, a pure pale light blue and her eyes were white, a cloudy white and rolled back. And I was holding her and the guides came over telling me she was dead and I couldn't believe it. They kept saying it was a freak accident. She was dead and I couldn't stop crying because I couldn't get her face out of my mind, how panicked she looked, and I couldn't save her. Maybe if I was stronger or faster. I lost my sister in a kayaking accident and I was crying so hard to my mom, and my boyfriend was trying to cheer me up and I saw her ghost and she was doing silly things, and I smiled but it was a sad smile because she wasn't alive. I woke up crying and shaking and sobbing because that's how real and upset I was in the dream. I woke up crying.
Then I watched a very sad movie about the holocaust, it's been a very upsetting day for me. so I'm sorry if it showed in my writing.
QOTC
Favorite type of movie?
P.s. YOU ARE MORE THAN WELCOME TO SHARE a nightmare story since I've told you mine, if you want to share a particularly scary, sad, emotional, thriller, dream or nightmare you had you can. So sorry if it triggers anything.