I instantly regretted asking him that question. The last time I asked him about Fiona, things didn't work well for me and I remember ruining the moment.
Now I have just done the same thing. Markus had been quiet for about a minute and I didn't know what to do. Would he get mad and this date would be ruined? This was all my fault.
" I'm sorry I didn't mean to…" I tried to explain but my words were cut off by him.
" It's okay," I was shocked and went to sit up but he didn't let me, did this mean he was ready to answer my question?
" I think it's high time I tell you who Fiona is," he said and I just looked at him in shock.
" She was my first love, my first everything, we grew up in the same neighborhood and we just clicked, we became high school lovers, we couldn't stay a day without talking to each other, it was like we were each other's obsession, we had dreams, we wanted a family, a lovely home and everything, it was all going fine. After high school, we still got admission to the same college, we were so happy…" He suddenly stopped to take a breath and I just squeezed his hands to encourage him.
" I was so in love with her,...." He continued.
" I could do anything she asked me without even thinking, I was that crazy, but then I noticed some changes in her, at first I thought it was the stress of college so I didn't bother her, I was just there when she needed me, things got back to normal and we were back like before, I didn't know she had other plans, we graduated school and we were supposed to get married,...." He stopped again as he closed his eyes tightly like he was fighting off the memory.
"I thought she didn't care that I didn't have those fancy cars back then, I thought she was okay with that simple life, I wasn't poor, no, but I guess she wanted more. She left me, without an explanation, without a breakup, she just left and then I found out she had married someone else, she didn't warn me I would have known how to deal with such betrayal, but she just went ahead and did what she wanted, she broke whatever trust I had in women after what my mom did,..." I was tempted to ask him what his mom did, but if it was anything as close as what the woman he loved did, I don't think I wanted to hear that he was hurting enough.
" All the women I had ever loved left me, I thought I wasn't deserving of love so I just hated women, to me they were only meant for pleasure and that was it." He said with so much anger and bitterness. Whoever Fiona is must have been lucky, even recalling what she did to him you could still hear how much he wanted a life for them.
He must have truly loved her, but she threw it all away.
I rose from his lap where my head was laid as I took hold of his hand.
" It's funny how life doesn't always give us the things we want, I don't know what type of relationship you had but what I know is that you were hurt and you can never truly heal if you don't give someone the chance to heal you, I feel like you love her so much because you describe her as someone you truly adored, she played with your heart and you let her win by playing with your life, she found someone else while she left you all alone and yet you didn't let another woman into your life, it's like she left with the last piece of you," I said as I combed my hand through his hair, he looked so sad and I wish I could take the pain away.
" I'm glad that you decided to share this piece of yourself with me, it means a lot, I was worried you would push me away but you didn't, I'm glad."
" I'm glad too," he said as he planted a kiss on my head.
" You know, I always hated talking about her, I didn't even want someone mentioning her name, but now that I've said everything, I feel like it has gone off my chest, I feel free, like something tying me has just been loosed,"
" It's going to be alright,"
I thought after that sad episode of Markus telling me about his first love that broke his heart would ruin the night but it didn't, because we continued asking each other questions and we even ended up asking more than twenty questions, it was fun and I had a good time.
We left the beach when it was getting too cold to stay and we went back to the car after putting on our shoes.
If someone had told me that I and Markus would be returning from a date hand in hand I would have laughed in their face or would have called them crazy but this was actually happening.
Markus helped me into the car and fastened my seat belt as I was already tired and sleepy then he went to the driver's side and drove us home.
" I had such a great time," I said to him as soon as we parked outside the house, I was half asleep and half awake.
" The only great time I have is with you," he said giving me his million-dollar smile before opening the door and coming to me. When he opened the door he carried me out and this time I didn't complain because I was tired.
He carried me until we were in our room then he laid me on the bed and he helped me remove my shoes.
" Sleep my darling," He said as he patted my head gently while I tried to sleep but was unable. How could I be feeling sleepy but can't seem to sleep? I closed my eyes and steadied my breathing and I guessed Markus must think I had fallen asleep as he rose from where he sat on the bed and made his way to the bathroom.
My phone suddenly pinged indicating that I received a message. I wanted to ignore the message but something told me to check so I grudgingly took my purse that Markus kept on the bedside table and opened it to bring out the phone.
I opened my phone and saw a message from an unknown number so I clicked on the messages and what I saw made my breath seize.
" You should have burned to ashes, you and the useless child you carry, know that this is not the end."