I was sitting at the dining table with a glass of plain water in my hand. I stared at the view in front of me. It didn't matter because my mind was reflecting my life.
Day by day, things were still the same. I couldn't think of any ideas about how to run, how to trick him, or how to fight him. There's nothing.
I was finally hopeless. I felt dead inside.
Not just that. Back then, sex with him was the only punishment. But now it's become a routine. It was his need. I didn't oppose; I didn't fight. It's only tiring me because, in the end, it's just still...
The same.
I gulped down the water bitterly.
What about people around me before? Why didn't they look for me? Like my friend? College friend?
Again, I gulped down the water bitterly.
I heard the footsteps. It was none other than Kim Taehyung, a sick psychopath ass masked under the face of an innocent.
I felt his body heat up stronger. He hugged me from behind.
"Baby," he called me, rubbing his face against my shoulder.
But suddenly, I felt very nauseous when I smelled his perfume. I was about to throw it out. I pushed him and then covered my mouth.
"What's wrong?" asked him. He seemed to be startled when I pushed him.
I ran into the nearest toilet and started throwing into the toilet bowl.
Later, he came into the toilet. "Babe, you're okay?"
I shook my head. I felt so tired that I almost wanted to rest my face there.
He came at me again and held my shoulders. Suddenly, I felt nauseous again. I scooted myself away from him, and I pinched my nose.
"I can't smell you. Your smell makes me so nauseous."
He stared at me for a while. His eyes were looking at me from my head to my toes. Then back to my eyes.
"I think you're pregnant, babe. This time, I can confirm it is true."
My face muscles went stiff. It's not because I was surprised. It's because I have reached this stage. I already expected this. How would I not be pregnant when we did that almost every day?
I was a young woman after all.
"I think we still have the pregnancy test kit. I'll go get it for you," he said, getting out.
Later, he came back. He kept his distance from me, and then he put down the pregnancy test kit on the slippery floor. And then he slid it across the floor toward me.
"Do it, and don't forget to tell me the good news," he said, and then got out, closing the door.
I was left alone. I hugged my knees and then rested my chin on them. I looked at the pregnancy test kit. I had a strong feeling that it was going to be positive anyway.
I turned my face aside, replaced my cheeks, and rested on my knees.
After a while, I took the pregnancy test kit, got up, and did it, but I still didn't want to look at it yet.
My hand still covered the one on the kit. One or two? Two or one?
Slowly, I removed my hand.
One, okay
I slid my hand further—another one. One plus one?
It was fucking two.
Why did I act surprised? I already knew it, stupid brain.
Two
But
It wasn't just about the lines. It's a fucking baby in my tummy.
I put it on the counter. My clothes were already wet. I should just take the shower to refresh my mind. My pregnancy was just as expected.
I didn't care. As long as the baby wasn't born yet, I could abort him. I didn't know how many months old the baby was now. But my tummy was so small. I guess it's still new.
Honestly, since I locked up here, all I could think about was me. I shouldn't care about this thing in my tummy.
Then something came to mind. It's good that I was pregnant. The day of my freedom would come. With a baby inside my tummy, it would be easier for me to get various threatened life diseases. I would have a solid reason to get out. He wouldn't let me die. It's a serious matter.
But still, I prayed for his brain to function well.
Right after I got out, I would abort this baby. This baby had his blood. I won't have any trace of him haunting me right after I escaped. This would end. I nodded at myself and tried to agree with myself that this pregnancy benefited me and was good news.
After I finished taking a shower, I wrapped myself in a towel, and then I looked at the pregnancy test kit on the counter in the sink.
Two lines.
I went to take it. I would show that motherfucker good news.
Back then, I was afraid to be only in a towel in front of him because of his stupid lust. But now, nothing matters, he fucked me in anyway.
I went up to our room, and I saw he was lying on the bed with his phone in his hand. But right after he saw me, he put away the phone and looked at me with a smile.
"How is it?"
I held out the pregnancy test kit in my hand. He took it and looked at it.
His eyes widened with a big grin, and then he looked at me. "Babe, finally. We're going to have a baby," he said, coming at me and hugging me.
To my surprise, I didn't feel nauseous anymore. Maybe it came and went, then came and went, and then again and again.
"Babe, I love you so much," he said, then kissed my forehead.
"Wait, you're fine with my smell now?" asked him after realizing that I didn't react to him like earlier.
"Um," I said, and then I was about to walk away, but instantly he grabbed my wrist.
Then he threw me onto the bed. I looked into his eyes. It was his look whenever he wanted to touch me.
He slowly came to crawl on top of me. "Oppa, you're not planning to do that, right? I'm pregnant now," I said in disbelief.
"It's just still the cells. Moreover, I have two-month tours starting next week, and maybe when I get back here, the cells will already be babies. I want to be inside you before all of these. My need is just way too much, y/n. You know it too," he said, and then started hovering my neck.
"So, you're going to leave me for two months?"
"Um. I'm sorry. I can't do anything about it."
"What about if something happens to me?"
"Nothing will happen. Just take care of yourself. Eat well. I'm going to go grocery shopping before leaving you," he said.
Two months? So I have to wait for two months for my plan? How long would the baby be at that time?
Three months, I guessed.
It could still be aborted.
"Wait. I forget. It's not you alone now. It's you and our baby," he corrected himself and smiled at me.
And the day passed. Like he said, he really left me for two months. I started counting the days since my pregnancy. Not because I cared about my pregnancy. It's because of the plan.
The last seven days before the two months he said, I didn't eat anything except for the plain water and sweet potatoes.
It was as I went for the diet.
I believed if the mother lacked nutrients, my uterus wouldn't hold the baby strong, causing a slow abortion.
He would send me to the hospital. He must.
But even after two days of doing that, my stomach was already painful. Very painful.
I saw my tummy growing big every day. Sometimes it made me feel bad for the baby inside my body, so I cried too.
I told the baby that I was sorry.
Sorry that I didn't have a choice because it was the only way I could think.
Sometimes I felt attached to the baby when I felt something in there. I didn't know whether it was just an illusion or what. How could the baby's kick be so early?
I convinced myself that it was just an illusion. Or maybe it's just the cells twitching?
I didn't know. It's my first pregnancy.
But it made me pat my tummy, feel accompanied, and feel the warmth of love because it felt like there was another human besides him with me.
But still, I would go with my plan. I continued not eating well, and it's been seven days, he should come back home.
But he didn't. Maybe there is some delay in his schedule. It's common. It's going to be one to two days.
But I felt so weak right now. It felt like I didn't only risk the baby's life but mine too.
But if I die, it's okay. There's no point in living at this moment anyway. That thought kept motivating me to keep going with my plan.
I was on the sofa, waiting for him to come back home. The pain struck me so much, so I lay with my butt stuck out.
I felt something flow out of my vagina. I switched my position to sit again, and I lifted up my dress. It was light bleeding. It's not strange anymore. But it would be very good if he came back tonight and saw this.
Later, I heard the unlocking door sound, and then it was pushed open. I felt so relieved.
"Y/N" Taehyung called my name cheerfully when he saw me on the sofa.
The second I let out a groan, his grin vanished. He hurried over to see me.
My pale face, trembling body, and sweating were all visible to him.
I don't see how he could accuse me of lying again this time. My pain during this time was real, so I was confident he would believe me.
"What's wrong with you?"
Then he noticed my weight loss. He started to frown in worry.
He had been waiting to come back to see her so much, but instead she was in so much pain.
He started to feel guilt, he almost left her dying alone.
"Oppa, I've been experiencing light bleeding in my vagina lately. It's painful. You need to bring me to the doctor. The baby is in danger. Not only the baby, but me too," I said with a lot of pauses and hisses.
I opened my legs for him to see my proof.
He rubbed his forehead in panic, but still, I noticed this fucker looked so hesitant.
"Oppa, are you afraid if I run away? I will not do that. We're having a baby together. I can't raise the baby alone. And the baby needs a father too. I need you, too. I can't take care of myself alone. Look, what happened to me when you just left me for two months? Please, oppa." I gave him an empty talk and an empty promise.
He nodded at a quick pace, as if he had already made a decision. He held my hands. "Okay, babe. I believe you.".
He went to unlock all the locks, and then he came back to me. He slipped his arm under my back and another arm under my knees, and he carried me in the bridal style.
He put me in the passenger seat of the car and adjusted the seat so that I would be comfortable.
Then he went into the house again. And then I came back with my slippers and my extra clothes.
I didn't know he could be this smart in handling the emergency situation.
He started driving away. Even in the night, I felt it was so bright.
It's been too long since I've been outside.
My pain was almost paralyzed. He drove me to a different route; I guessed this was the shortcut he told me about.
The route here was scarier than usual as the sky began to darken. I was curious if he ever happened to see the ghost here.
"Y/N, are you okay?" he asked me with concern.
"I don't know."
"Just endure a little bit more," he said, and then he took out his phone, making a call to someone.
"Oh, Saeho-ah, can you help me now?"
So, he was calling his friend to help him with something. Helping in what way? I started to worry if this would become a problem for my plan.
"Help what?"
"You know. Umm. My female friend's sick. I couldn't take her to the hospital. You know I can't show up in public. Can you take her to the hospital instead?"
"Oh, sure. No problem"
"Meet you at the street near your house that is just before it crosses the main road. Okay?"
"Okay, okay"
So this fucker just wanted to save his image.
Whatever, it made my escape plan easier.
Later, he stopped the car, and I saw another car already pulled by the roadside too.
It must be his friend, Saeho.
Saeho came and opened the door at my side. He looked at me and studied my situation.
He stretched out his hands at me, maybe thinking about how to carry me appropriately.
"It's okay, I can walk-,".
Taehyung came at me, and carried me in bridal style and put me on the passenger seat of Saeho's car.
Then he reclined the seat.
"Babe, endure a bit. I love you. Please take care of yourself. I love you so much" he said.
I nodded.
After few seconds of silent staring at me, Taehyung closed the door and went to Saeho.
They looked like they were having some talks.
I looked around at this car. That's my habit.
I saw a watch at about the handbreak.
From how it sparkled, I could tell it was expensive. I was planning to escape. I needed money.
So, I quickly bagged it into my pocket.
"She is pregnant. Please be careful," said Taehyung.
"Okay," said Saeho, about to go, but Taehyung stopped him. "Wait, Saeho-ah. You should watch her all the time, too. She is a little bit losing her sanity because of the mood swings and so on. She's been going through a lot. Her boyfriend left her alone, so... Yeah. Make sure she comes back with you. I'll wait for you at your house."
"Okay".
I was lying on the ward bed. Intravenous in my hand. I felt better after the treatment. Then I saw cotton pasted on my arm. I bet they gave me several injections of vitamins and also the painkiller.
"Miss, how do you feel now?"
I looked for the voice, and I saw a man who was about forty and looked at me. The white coat just told me that he was a doctor.
"Better"
"I've prescribed you some medications and vitamins. You're lacking nutrients and energy. Do you have an eating disorder?"
"No. I just lost my appetite. What about the bleed down below?"
"I will prescribe you the appetizer too. About the blood, it's common for the first trimester. But you've been pregnant for five months."
My face muscles went stiff. Five fucking months????? I started getting nervous. How could I abort the baby?
"It's a sign that your uterus couldn't hold the baby, but the amount of blood isn't so serious. Rest assured, I already gave you a hormone injection."
Another shock to me. So I was about to miscarry the baby, but this damn doctor stopped it?????
"You can go back home after you empty the IV bag," said the doctor with a smile, and then walked away.
I looked at the IV bag. Another half way.
Later, I saw Saeho come to me with an awkward smile. "Oh, hi"
I just looked at him with my judgmental stare.
This guy befriended a lunatic. And he exposed me to him. Didn't he have any idea that Taehyung had tortured me?
Or did he twist his mind?
I saw them talking anyway, and Taehyung had that talent.
"I bought you the fried rice in case you're hungry," he said, putting them on the table beside me.
The smell and the sight of it made my mouth water, gulping my own saliva. I was hungry. I was very hungry after those struggles.
I would eat it like a zombie eating the dead brain.
But I didn't really want to eat in front of him.
Ah, fuck it! I was hungry. I took the plastic bag of food beside me and started eating. I tried eating slowly. But every bite induced more of my hunger.
Later, the food was finished, but it wasn't enough. I was still hungry and even feeling hungry.
But I really thanked that guy for the food, but at the same time, I felt bad for stealing his watch.
God bless him.
After two hours. The nurse removed the IV from my hand.
I could finally go back to... home?
No. I wanted to run, but why the hell was Saeho still here?
He held my shoulders, helping me to stand up. But I was really fine right now.
He kept me walking with him until I reached the hospital lobby, where I stopped.
"What's wrong?" he asked me.
"I can go back home by myself. Please make your own way," I said, about to go, but he quickly held my wrist.
"Wait, wait. You aren't well now. Let me at least take you to your home."
I shook my head and removed his hand. "I'm really fine. Thank you"
He grabbed my hand again. "How will you go home? You look empty," he said, referring to how I don't have a purse or even a phone now.
God, I had his watch. He worried over nothing.
"It's okay" I tried removing his grip again, but this time it was firm.
To him, he already promised Taehyung that he would bring back Y/N to him.
And he also remembered that Y/N was a little bit crazy, according to Taehyung. He felt a responsibility to take care of her.
"Let me go," I said. But he kept staring at me like he had something in his thoughts.
"Please, you're sick. I can't leave you like this."
"No, you guys are the ones who're sick. Let me go!" I finally yelled, causing the passerby's eyes to be on us.
He let go of my hand, and I could see that he started to feel uncomfortable, looking at the people around us.
He looked at me again. "Please"
"No," I said, and I started walking away at a quick pace.
I wasn't alone. People were everywhere, but this time the control was mine alone. I controlled myself!
I found the exit and got out. I felt the fresh air brush me, and my hair flew. I gazed up and saw a lot of tall buildings, the lighting, and the sound of busy traffic.
It soothed my soul after about one year trapped in the house that was placed far from people in the jungle.
Then I just remembered that Taehyung knew that I was in the hospital. Before that dumb man told him, I quickly flew off from here.
Saeho made a call to Taehyung. He was very guilty to say that he failed to do so.
Y/N walked away, out of his control.
"How is it, Saeho? How is she?"
"She is better than before. The doctor gave her some injections, and she really seems to be very fine. Her baby too. Ah, and one more thing, she's been pregnant for five months."
Taehyung grinned when he heard five months. He thought she was in early pregnancy. But five months? He's going to be a father real soon.
"So, when will you guys come back? Can you at least put her on the call?" asked him excitedly.
Saeho started to be anxious. How he would say this to him. "Taehyung-ah. Actually, I let her go back to her home by herself."
Taehyung's eyes flickered, and his smile flattened. His lips began to tremble.
Saeho was uncomfortable when he heard no response from Taehyung. He was afraid he was mad, so quickly he said, "I really don't want to let her go, but she acted like a kid, grumbling and yelling. People looked at us. Looked at me. Like I was a kidnapper. So I didn't have a choice but to let her go. Taehyung-ah, I'm sorry."
Taehyung quickly ended the call before he lost control.
Right after he ended the call, he threw his phone over the dashboard. He then slammed the steering wheel twice, moaned and cursed, before burying his face in it.
She? Ran away?
How dare?
He lifted his head off the steering wheel.
No, he could not give up on her.
He quickly drove to the hospital. There was a possibility she was still around there. All she had were just legs to walk.
***