I was sitting on the sofa, hugging my knees, watching a drama on TV.
That's the only thing I could do to kill my boredom here.
I watched the drama attentively.
"Daughter, eat a lot. You have to be healthy". Then, the mother put the beef in her daughter's bowl. She looks at her daughter with a full smile.
The daughter smiled back to the mother. "Thank you, mother". Then she ate the beef. Her eyes twinkled and she nodded her head several times. "Um! It's so delicious"
The mother giggled at the compliment.
Her giggle, her smile reminded me of my mother.
My eyes filled with tears. The image of my mother vividly played in my head.
I recalled some memories with her too. Tears finally escaped my eyes.
I didn't know how months had already passed since the last time I contacted my mother.
She must have been trying to get in touch with me. What if my mother worried about me???
Poor my mother, poor my old lady. If she was worried, I shouldn't make her. She's old, so I worried if this would affect her health.
Actually there was a possibility she felt I went missing.
Maybe she tried to contact my university. And maybe my university told her that I suddenly disappeared.
And maybe after that, she went to the police but it was useless.
It was useless because I was overseas. And I wasn't a minor. The usual thing they would say I ran away instead of missing because that was what the police say when the adult suddenly disappeared.
If she went to contact the ambassador in Korea, I bet it's going to be the same.
Furthermore, my mother was just a poor old woman, living in the countryside. She didn't even know how to use the phone very well.
I bursted out into tears at my thought. If this really happened, I couldn't imagine what my mother felt.
What if she lost her appetite? What if she kept thinking about me?
Now I miss her and I was also worried about her.
I clutched my chest. I was fucking worried.
I was accompanied by the dim light of the table lamp beside the bed.
It's almost 3.00 am. I still awoke and had been thinking about my mother since morning.
And Taehyung. He hadn't come back yet too.
He usually would tell me if he didn't come back home. But sometimes, there's a time he didn't.
I sighed out. It's late. It's like he didn't come back tonight. I should wait for him tomorrow.
Actually, I was waiting for him to tell him if I could at least call my mother.
I really hoped at least he could sympathize with me about this.
He had a mother too. He must understand me.
Suddenly, I heard the door open. Then the footsteps.
It must be Taehyung but I didn't turn to see him.
After that, I heard the bathroom door open and closed.
He must be washing himself. My eyes fully awakened as I should think of the way to tell him in the meantime.
After a while, Taehyung got out of the bathroom and went to bed.
I heard him grunting as his muscles relaxed on the bed after working for a long time today.
Then, he scooted himself towards me and he hugged me from my back.
He closed his eyes, wanting to sleep.
I turned my head at him. And in an instant he opened his eyes back and looked at me.
"Taehyung-ah" I called him, my eyes almost teary.
"You haven't slept yet?"
I shook my head.
I continued looking at him with sad eyes. He noticed it and seemed to be waiting for me to say something more.
"Taehyung-ah, I missed my mother so much" said me and finally tears fell down like a waterfall.
He didn't say anything.
"I missed my mother so much, Taehyung-ah. So please.." said me while sobbing.
He looked at me with a straight face like he couldn't understand what I felt.
I sniffed away my tears and held his shirt, "I want to call her and I promise I won't tell her about this. I just want to ask how she is. And I want to tell her to not worry about me. We haven't been talking to each other for almost months, my mother must be worried so much about me. So Taehyung-ah, please..."
He still didn't say anything but I could feel I was under his gaze.
More tears fell down because he seemed to be numb to what I'd felt.
I was tightening the clench on his shirt. "Please.. Taehyung-ah, please" I begged again.
"Okay"
Instantly, I stopped crying and I lifted my head to look at him. "Um?" I could not believe what I'd heard.
"Let's talk about this again tomorrow. I am sleepy now" said him and I could see how slow he was blinking. He was really sleepy.
I nodded. "Sure, thank you" said me.
He put his arm around my neck and closed his eyes.
I scooted myself closer to him and I buried my face in his chest. I had to convince him until I really could talk to my mother.
***
I went to the kitchen to find Taehyung.
I found him drinking water.
"Taehyung-ah, when can I call my mother?" asked me.
He put down the glass on the kitchen counter and looked at me. "A moment more" said him and walked past me.
I turned to him and just watched him walking away.
To be honest, I was impatient but I could not push him into it. Because he might get annoyed with me and he would change his mind.
But at the same time, I felt so uneasy. I was worried if he lied to me and just gave me an empty promise.
I went back to the sofa in the living room and just sat there, thinking about when I could call my mother.
Later, Taehyung walked down the stairs and came to me, he stood in front of me.
I looked up at him and quickly straightened my sitting posture. He looked like he had something to talk about, it could be about my mother.
"How old is your mother?" asked him and slumped his butt beside me.
"Fifty-one" said me right away.
"Do you only have your mother?" asked him.
I nodded. It seemed like he was confirming that my mother was weak.
"You're not lying to me? Aren't you?" asked him.
I nodded my head desperately. "I'm not lying to you. I swear to God"
"Does she speak Korean?" asked him.
My lips parted away and I started to panic.
My mother could not speak Korean and I worried a no answer would make him change his mind and I couldn't call my mother.
I shook my head at him. "She couldn't"
He rolled his eyes and leaned his back against the sofa. "Then, how could I know if you don't expose about us?" asked him.
I quickly held his hand and my breath got intense from the panic. "I promise I won't. Please trust me, Taehyung-ah. I won't. Even if I do, she can't do anything. So, I won't" said me.
He looked at me again.
"Please"
He stared into my eyes. "Fine" said him and straightened his sitting posture.
I saw him whipping out his phone.
I started to feel impatient.
He was opening something on the phone. It was Google Translate.
I frowned slightly. I didn't know what he's planning to do.
"What language?"
"(Y/n's mother tongue)"
He was scrolling for my native language. I was looking at him. I found it and I quickly pointed at it. "This, this"
He pressed it and then wrote something.
Then he played an audio. "I miss you, mother". It was in my native language.
I looked at him. I didn't know what he was doing.
"Say it," said him.
"I miss you, mother" said me in my language.
"Slower and clearer" said him.
"I miss you, mother" said me again.
He was reading on his phone, then he nodded because he could hear it clearly from what he's reading. "Good, that's how you're going to speak to your mother"
I looked at him with a confused look. I wouldn't only say I miss my mother. This psychopath guy was so fucking crazy, weird and unreasonable.
He whipped out another phone from his pocket.
My eyes widened. It was my phone.
"Before you're speaking, you're going to write here with this phone" said him and signed to his phone.
"And you're going to speak through this phone" said him, referring to my phone.
Damn, it was so fucking complicated. And I didn't know how could he fucking come out with this idea.
"If you talk about something else from what you've written. I'll end the call right away" warned him.
"But what if I speak in a dialect? Google Translate won't work" said me.
His gaze turned dark.
My eyes flickered. My complaint had annoyed him.
"Fine, I won't be using the dialect" said me.
He rolled his eyes and then focused on his phone, he wrote something. "Try this".
"How are you, mother?". It was an audio in my native language that he played on his phone.
"How are you, mother?" said me.
He seemed to be complacent. Then, he grabbed my wrist, he pulled me, signalling me to get up.
I got up and he pulled me to sit on his lap.
I just followed whatever he did. As long as I could call my mother. I couldn't wait to hear my mother's voice.
He showed me my phone. "Where is your mother's contact?"
I found my mother's contact. "Here"
Then, he handed me the phone with Google Translate.
I took it with both of my hands.
"You have to write fast, if you don't want to sound awkward"
I quickly nodded. I just couldn't really wait to hear my mother's voice.
"Ready" said him and I nodded.
He finally pressed the button call.
My heart raced in excitement. I couldn't wait.
"Y/n!"
It was my mother's voice.
My lips parted away, but I couldn't say anything yet. I have to write.
I quickly wrote 'mother'
"Y/n, where have you been??! I have been trying to reach you many times! You make mother so worried!" said my mother and I heard her crying.
"Mother, mother"
Then I wrote again.
"I'm sorry. For making you worried. I miss you so much" said me.
I could no longer hold my tears and I bursted out. But I tried my best to hold it in because I want to talk to her as much as I can do as this maybe the only chance I had.
"Where did you go?" asked her.
"Err" I muttered and wrote.
"I have been so busy lately. It's hard too, here. I'd experienced a mental breakdown and I wanted to be alone at that time. I'm sorry" said me.
"Is it really hard that you've ghosted on me? Dear, if it's hard, then come back here. I don't care whatever you do as long as you're happy. I won't pressure you. If it's hard, just come back here. There's a lot things you can do here"
More tears fell down from my eyes. Yes, it's hard. It was so fucking hard.
I wrote and quickly I said, "Mother, you don't have to worry. I'm okay right now".
She heard I was sniffing my tears away. "Why do you cry?"
I wrote. "Of course it's because I missed you so much"
"Dear, I missed you too. Can we make a video call?" asked her.
I wrote. "My internet has a poor connection now. I can't"
"Oh, okay. We will do it later. How is college?"
I wrote. "Fine. Everything is fine. How are you, mother? Are you healthy?"
"I'm like usual, dear. When will you come home?"
I quickly wrote again. Suddenly, Taehyung ended the call.
I frowned and looked at him. "Why?"
"You started talking fast"
I still didn't get enough talking to my mother. We'd just started. "I'm sorry. I will not do it again. I'm not done yet talking to my mother. Please, I left her hanging. She was asking me something"
"Asking you what?"
"She asked me when I would come back home. My country home" said me.
The phone rang. I turned and it was my mother.
Taehyung rejected the call.
I turned to look at him.
"Message her" ordered him.
"Do I need to use Google Translate too?"
"Of course" said him and opened the Google Translate on my phone.
He took his phone from my hand and replaced it with my phone.
"Mother, I can't answer your call right now. I'm on public transport. Korean people here don't like it if we make noise in public transport" said Taehyung.
I wrote on Google Translate, copied it and pasted it into the chat with my mother.
Me: Mother, I can't answer your call right now. I'm on public transport. Korean people here don't like it if we make noise in public transport.
I waited for my mother to reply and in the meantime, I looked at her number and memorized it.
Mother: Ah, it's okay. We'll call again later.
I wrote again, copied and pasted again.
Me: By the way, about coming home, I'm not sure yet. The flight ticket is so expensive.
Mother: Oh.. It's bad.
Me: Yeah.
"I have to go now, talk to you later," said Taehyung.
I turned to look at Taehyung. I didn't want to end the conversation yet. But his eyes seemed like he was going to be annoyed if I said so.
I unwillingly did what he told me to.
Me: I have to go now, talk to you later.
Mother: Okay dear. Have a nice day and always be careful. I love you so much.
I read her message. My heart warmed when she told me to be careful and she loved me very much.
I was startled when Taehyung took the phone from my hand.
The reality hit me. I was with this guy and I was locked here.
He came for my lips. I closed my eyes and felt his lips on mine.
He pulled out the kiss and he looked at me again. He smoothed my hair away from my face and he placed my hair on my back.
"You get what you want, give me what I always want too" said him.
I understand what he meant.
He leaned forward and I leaned backward, lying on the sofa.
He was over me and started kissing my neck.
I clenched his hair in response.
***