Mookie (20)
Monday October 17th
It's been a week and some days since I took that dna test and the results came back today. We were sitting in the living room across from each other. I was nervous and scared af. What if I am the father. Im running straight to Mexico.
"Here you open it" Laila nervously said shoving the envelope into my hands.
"I'm scared ngl" I sighed staring at the piece of mail in my hands. My hands were shaking and sweating.
"Me too" she agreed nodding her head.
"I don't know why" I side eyed her.
"Don't start" she said sucking her teeth.
I slowly opened the envelope taking the papers out. I took a deep breath before reading over the middle part of the paper. I was happy af on the inside.
"I'm not the father" I slowly nodded my head in relief.
"What?" She gasped snatching the paper out my hand. She can look at it long and hard but it's still not gonna change.
"I'm not the father so can we be done now?" I asked.
"Oh god... I wanted you to be the dad" she cried burying her face into her hands.
"You just want to be able to control me"
"No I wanted you to be the dad because I know my baby would be good and well taken care of with a family." She expressed wiping the tears from her eyes. She fucked up her chances a long time ago.
"Sunny can't provide that?" I asked. She knows who the dad is but she wants to be attached to me. The nigga seems like a cool dude and will take care of the baby but I don't know him personally.
"It's different with you. I love how you interact with your siblings and you all get along in some way. It's gonna be too toxic between me and Sunny" she sighed sniffling.
"Look... we can't go back to the shit we used to do. I'm past that but if you need to talk or if you really need the help Lai you can come to me but whatever we had is done. I just want you to get your shit together now that you got a baby on the way." I reasoned with her. I know I shouldn't be making this promise with her but I hate seeing people with kids struggle.
"Do you really mean that?" She asked with a look of hope. See now I take it back.
"Yea but that doesn't mean abuse the offer just to be around me cuz I'll nip that shit in a bud. I got other shit to worry about and I'm not worried about no type of sexual relationship. Best of luck to you though" I explained.
"Thank you Mookie and I'm sorry for all the trouble I've caused." She smiled standing up from the couch and walking towards the front door.
"You're not all at fault but I forgive you. Drive safe please"
"I will. Can I text you when I get home?" She asked giving me a side hug. Thats all she's getting from me. Bitch can't even embrace my smell.
"..." I wanted to say no but I don't think she got the support she needs. "Yea but only for that and don't hit my shit again"
"I won't"
As soon as I opened the door Moriah was standing on my porch. I haven't heard from her in months and she just pops up. Shit is about to go left by the way she's looking right now.
"Why is she here?" Moriah questioned muggin both me and Laila. How you come to my house questioning me? We not together.
"Moriah chill" I brushed off.
"We break up and you go straight back to her?" She scolded shoving me. I'm not understanding why she's mad right now. I'm so fucking confused.
"No Moriah"
"No? What am I dumb? And imma fuck you up. All this shit is your fault" she said lunging at Laila. I can't let her do that. The girl is pregnant for fucks sake.
"Fuck is you doing bro?" I mugged pulling her back. Moriah was an inch away from snatching Laila up.
"Get off me. You're doing this to get back at me? If you wanted to be with her you should have just said that and what tf is you smiling for bitch?" She mugged pushing herself out of my grip.
"Bro.. CHILL TF OUT" I yelled snatching Moriah up and shoving her into my house. " she's pregnant I'm not about to let you fight her. Lai get home safe"
"Ok" she nodded and walked off. I made sure she got in the car before I closed the front door and dragged Moriah downstairs
"Pregnant?..." Moriah repeated. There were tears in her eyes and I'm guessing she thinks I'm the father. "You got her pregnant?"
"No it's not mines. I took a dna test and she was here so we could see the results together. We're not back together either" I explained to her. It's starting to feel like I'm talking to a brick wall.
"Oh god" she cried burying her face back into her hands. What is going on?
"Don't cry when you came here tripping and shit. Why are you here?" I questioned her. How you crying and you pulled up on me trying to fight??
"I'm crying because my feelings are still hurt Mokani" she expressed. Her face was cherry red and she sounded possessed.
"Mines is too but I accept what I did, owned up to it and got over it"
"How can I get over you not being there for me?" She questioned. Woah now, I don't even know what she's talking about.
"Being there? What are you talking about?" I asked scrunching up my face.
"You didn't show up at my appointment or check on me afterwards. I was pregnant with your baby!" She cried yelling at me. Ahh tracking tracking.
"I told you I wasn't showing up to stand beside you while you abort my baby. I don't believe in that shit. I wanted to be a father I wanted to keep the baby but you was on some petty shit"
"Petty? I'm petty because I didn't want a baby after what just happened between us?" She questioned. Uh duh ain't that what I said??
"You acting like I committed some horrific crime or some shit. I cheated, everyone cheats at some point in life and I owned up to that. You said some shit and I agreed with you but I wasn't gonna be a hypocrite and support you in person. I could have checked on you afterwards but I didn't because I was mad and if that hurt your feelings I'm sorry." I expressed to her giving her a half ass apology.
"You said you loved me" she whined with more tears rolling down her faces. Why is she acting like this? She broke up with me.
"I still do" I revealed.
"Do you?" She asked.
"Yes I do but I don't know how you feel and I don't want to know." I brushed off shrugging my shoulder. If she don't feel the same way I'd prefer not to know at this moment.
"I want to try again Mookie." She suggested. Cant do that.
"I can't right now. I don't want to be in a relationship" I declined. I got too much going on and us trying again ain't gonna work. I can feel it. She's gonna be holding onto the past and the trust ain't gonna be there.
"Why? Is it because of what I said? I didn't mean it, I was just mad at you. I don't think those things of you" she blurted out all in one breathe.
"You do and it's ok. I ain't got shit going on for myself and I'm a fuck up, I agree with you.You deserve a peaceful and nontoxic relationship Moriah. I can't give that to you. You deserve to be happy" I reasoned with her. I told her nothing but the truth and that's the way I feel. She's a good girl I don't want her to lose herself fucking with me.
"I want to be happy with you I didn't mean it Mookie" she cried a little harder.
"Moriah that's not why stop crying" I comforted her wiping the tears from her eyes.
"Why? I forgive you we can work pass it I'm willing to work on it" she said trying to bargain with me.
" that's still not it"
"Then what is it?" She asked.
"I got this shit with Meya going on and I still got Wyllo and tally to worry about. I can't give you the attention that you need. Shit is just wrong timing. I don't want to break you more than what I already did. You're a good girl Moriah and you bring nothing but good energy. I'm not the right one for you. I still love you and when it runs out imma always have love for you" I expressed to her. Shit felt good to get off my chest.
"What's wrong with meya?" She asked sniffling.
"I got this Custody shit going and a bunch of other shit. I just want you to go and be happy" I shortly explained. I ain't want to get into details.
"Can we still be friends? I want to support you while you're going through what you're going through" she asked.
"I don't mind being friends but don't expect nothing more from me." I responded lifting her head up by her chin as I stood in-front of her.
"I love you Mookie" she said.
"I love you too" I said back.
She looked so good to me with her red face and puffy eyes. She got fuck me written all over her. I leaned down pecking her lips as she laid back on the bed wrapping her arms around me. One thing led to another and we did some grown folks business.
Next day Tuesday October 18th
I woke up this morning to a call from my lawyer and shit hurts to hear all the shit your mother is saying just to get custody of a child that she let the father of her kid abuse. Moriah was still here but she was sleep. Last night didn't go how I imagined it but that's a good and a bad thing. I feel like I'm leading her onto something I can't give her.
"Hello?" I answered.
"Hey mokani how are you?" Mrs.ross asked.
"Could be better" I answered.
"Sorry to hear that. Do you think you can make it to my office in the next hour and a half?" She asked.
"Uh yea, everything good?" I asked with a concerned look.
"So far it's not looking too good. She's trying to flip the situation and it's better if we talked in person"
"What is she saying? I'm the one that did this shit?" I asked.
She let out a deep sigh then answered my question without answering my question. "I can't talk about everything over the phone. I have another client coming in I'll see you in the next hour" she confirmed.
"Ard" I responded and hung up.
I sat at the edge of the bed trying to get my thoughts together. Am I even doing the right thing? I'm causing more damage to Meya than good. I haven't even really heard from Taliece either. I FaceTimed her but it just rang. I called her again and the second time she declined my call. It's been like this since she left. She's either declining my calls not answering or keeping short conversations then hanging up on me. I have no clue on why she's acting like this and she's starting to make me worry.
"Oh no" Moriah gasped jumping out of bed. I could feel her moving in panic but I wasn't in the mood for any of this shit right now. "I'm sorry I over stepped I shouldn't have stayed the night"
"You're good" I said dryly.
"No it's not good this shouldn't have happened" she panicked.
"I let you stay for a reason... you're good" I reassured her.
"You sure? Is everything ok?" She asked.
"Yea I just got somewhere to be. You can stay or leave it's up to you, just lock the door behind you if you do leave" I instructed getting ready to leave.
"O-ok"
I stood up from my bed and headed upstairs grabbing my car keys then walked out the door to my car. I'm kind of regretting not going to school and playing football. It took me about 30 minutes to meet up with my lawyer with 10 minutes to spare. My hands were sweating again. I just want to know what she's saying.
"Hi how can I help you?" The lady at the front desk asked with a smile.
"I'm here to see attorney Ross" I answered.
"Right this way she's been expecting you" she smiled and led me down the hall.
I followed the girl to her office and slowly walked in. Mrs.ross was sitting at her desk typing away on her laptop. She better have good news for me.
"Take a seat. Would you like some water?" She offered.
"Nah I'm good. What's this about?" I declined.
"Your mother is claiming you're the one that has caused bruising and fracture on Meya. Her claims of your aggression and previous arrest for assaulting your mother the judge most likely will believe it." She sighed.
"I ain't do that shit. Do you believe that?" I asked. I didn't even purposely assault my mother. That was a smart move though.
"No not one bit of it. She's still offering bi weekly visitation if you let this case go." She said.
"I'll think about it" I shrugged.
"Think about it?" She questioned cocking her head back. That was the most unprofessional thing I've seen this lady do.
"Yea... maybe it's best for Meya. She'll come home sooner"
"What happened to your fight mokani? I believe that your mother is this terrible selfish person that you portrayed her to be. It's he say she say." She reasoned with me.
"Court dates are spread so far apart and everytime I go to see meya she's heartbroken. She knows she's not coming home. She feels like we're abandoning her." I expressed to her.
"We're not taking that deal. They can't prosecute Quincy Taylor because they can't find him and that's working in her favor. I strongly suggest you find a job before our next court hearing so that we can show you're financially capable taking care of your sister and not just living off of savings. You worry about that and I'll handle the rest. I promise you I'm going to bring Meya home to you" she reassured and promised me.
"Don't make promises you can't keep"
"This is one I know I will make happen. Do you trust me?" She asked.
"I trust you" I nodded.
"Good. Start looking for jobs. You got a court hearing in a couple of weeks. I'll call you when I get a set date"
"Thank you" I responded.
"Don't thank me yet"
I stood up from the seat and made my way out the door. That wasn't what I wanted to hear but it was something. My mother knows what she's doing and she's playing her game very well. Maybe I should just kill her and all this shit will end. I just might do that.
I made my way to the trap where everyone was. I hope Taz girl ain't here. I'm in the mood to smack a bitch quick. I parked behind lo and made my way into the house. These niggas was already smoking and drinking. I grabbed the nearest bottle which was don julio and chugged a quarter of the bottle.
"Damn nigga fuck got you stressing?" Cash mugged taking the bottle out my hand.
"I'm bout to go kill my mom" I blurted out slouching down on the couch.
"What?" Taz said scrunching up his face.
"Bro funny as shit" Mar laughed.
"I'm being dead ass. That bitch gotta die. It makes sense" I repeated. If she's dead there's no case.
"Nigga do you hear yourself? Think about what you just said" Taz questioned.
"I did my entire way here. That bitch gotta die like I said"
"Fuck, if the bitch gotta die then the bitch gotta die" Mar instigated.
"Bro, you ain't think about what's gonna happen after. You kill your mother then that's gonna be a secret we all gotta keep for the rest of our lives. If your siblings find that shit out then they ain't gonna fuck wit you and you don't want that shit." Taz explained. He got a good point there.
"Mcht fuck what he talking bout let's go kill that bitch" Mar co-signed brushing Taz off.
"Shut yo dumb ass up"Lo mugged Mar slapping the back of his head.
"Ngl bro you starting to lose it." Taz said shaking his head.
"I'm tired of fighting her. I just want to be done with this shit"
"So give up" cash replied.
"You got 2 choices. You give up on meya your mother gonna make sure she knows that or you can take your ass to court and get her back. We not finna kill your mom though that shit is too suspicious" Taz replied. He was right but what if I'm doing the wrong thing?
"I hate that bitch so fucking much" I sighed.
"If you still wanna take her out I'm down for it" Mar whispered to me.
"I'm bout to smack tf outta you" Taz mugged him.
"I'm just supporting my mans" Mar said throwing his hands up.
"Yall gonna be supporting each other behind a cell idiot" Lo checked him.
"Did you find out if that baby is yours?" Cash asked.
"It's not mines" I answered.
" thank god" everyone sighed in relief.
"Me and Moriah back cool though." I blurted out.
"I prayed yall would get back together" cash nodded. He the same one that... ykw nvm.
"We're not together. We're just friends"
"For right now" Mar said.
"No for now on ain't no more relationship" I denied. I grabbed the bottle again and took another chug.
"Mookie standing on business" Lo encouraged.
"That bottle was expensive so share you stingy bitch" cash mugged attempting to snatch the bottle out my hand.
"Fuck nigga go buy another one" I mugged slapping his hand away.
I stayed for another hour or two and I was drunk but not drunk. I needed to lay down and go to sleep.
"Bro this bitch blowing my shit up I gotta dip" Taz huffed checking his phone.
"Niggas get in a relationship and abandon us" Lo sighed.
"When my other bitch come down here yall most def not gonna see me" Taz laughed.
"You ain't shit" Mar called out.
"I'm Rey head out witchu" I said stumbling as I stood up from the couch.
"You good to drive?" He asked.
"Yea I'm straight"
"You sure? I'll drop you off" he asked again.
"I'm good" I said stumbling as I walked. The last step I almost fell and broke my damn ankle.
"Hell nah yo ass gonna crash" Taz laughed grabbing my keys out my hand.
I got in on the passenger side of Taz car and he dropped me off home. Moriah car was still here and I ain't expect her to still be here. I thought she would have left. On my way out the car, I made my way onto the porch. I stumbled a little but I still made my way into the house.
"I was just about to head out. I cleaned your room and straighten the house up a little bit. Wyllo is upstairs on the game" Moriah explained walking around the kitchen pointing everything out.
"Cool" I nodded and made my way to the basement.
"Did you drive home drunk?" She asked following behind me.
"No" I lied.
"Don't lie to me"
"Taz dropped me off. Didn't you say you was leaving?" I asked.
"...what's going on mokani?" She asked with concern.
I plopped down on the edge of my bed and laid my head on her stomach as she hugged me. Shit felt soo good coming from her.
"Ion know if I can do this shit. She making shit hard"I sighed.
"Nothing in life is ever easy. It'll get better" she reassured me running her fingers through my locs.
"I miss my girls being home" I expressed to her. Shit ain't the same and I wished talky went to school out here instead.
"I know you do"
"I miss yo ass too. I fucked up and I'm sorry I can't give you what you want" I expressed to her. I wanted her but I knew I'm no good for her.
"Right person wrong timing. I'm still gonna be here for you" she shrugged.
"You still leaving?" I asked.
"Not unless you want me to stay?"
"Can you?" I asked again.
"Yes" she nodded.
I got up from the bed and ran me a hot shower. I got in there alone and spent a cool 20 minutes in the water before I washed up and got out. I did my night routine then threw on a pair of sweatpants and a white tshirt. Moriah was already in the bed so I got under the covers and cuddled with her. It wasn't long before I fell asleep on her chest. I'm starting to see what she said about me.