Kongpob takes a long deep breath...it's fine. Completly fine. No need to be over conscious... His fingers bunches the lapels of woollen overcoat, other has given to him. His cheeks burns as activities from earlier flashes in bits and pieces, teasing him. He can't accept that it was him him who let all of it happen. He is, in general, is not a person of PDA. He just feels overly conscious of people's eyes. However, he don't understand how but elder always manages to make him lose focus of everyone, everything which surrounds him and the only person he could see, hear, feel is his boss. His ex boss.
The young man stares at the flashy red car with driver seat's window open. A striped elbow resting over windshield as his ex boss calls someone. Next he feels vibration inside his pocket. He takes it out and finds name of the same man blinking over. Providing him the name of person his husband is calling.
Instead of picking up the call, he cuts it off and marches towards the sleek blood red car which happens to be the most expensive and eye catching one in the whole parking lot. He has no idea how the other person managed to drive this car and not get caught. This car is like a freaking police siren.
Arthit pouts at the screen of his phone, contemplating if he should go back and haul away his overly shy husband's cute ass. It has been more than an hour or so since he has walked out of the mall. After the small cake cutting celebration, he decided to gift something to his sister in law. However, he has no experience in the field. Thus, he asked Sia to come with him and pick something of her own choice. Nonetheless, he forgot about everything watching Kongpob's oh so cheerful convo with the pigtails. Rest which followed is just him, his over possessiveness, jealousy and one track head, obviously not the one upper one. After coming out of the changing room, he made a stop at the jewelry store and chose a piece for Kongpob's little sister, ordering to deliver the package. He has practically rushed to the parking thinking that younger one must be waiting or worse has had left already but guess what, his ex employee is winning this game.
He was in between of trying other's cellphone again, when he hears several taps on the side window. He looks right and finds his ex employee giving a short smile, his eyes looking away quickly. Making Arthit snort...cute!...
Kongpob gets inside the car, putting the paper bags in the back seat. Keeping his head and eyes strictly down. Pulling through seat belt before clicking it shut.
"It took you a long time", Arthit commented.
"Ye yeah. Sorry. I...I went back to buy something.", Kongpob explained.
"No no. Don't say sorry. I weren't complaining.....', Arthit glances at the person bundled up in the passenger seat,"... I...I was worried....after...you know....', the actor can't believe that he is not able to string out a sentence properly. His own ears are cheery red and face feels hot...why am I feeling shy???... it's not my first time making out!!!.... Arthit clears his throat,".. you should had called me. I would had accompanied you"
The rest of the drive was silent, except the old songs played in the music system. The quietness was not awkward or burdening. Each of the individual was lost in their own thoughts. Thousands of words spiraling in their mind. Yet no one said anything. They chose to remain quiet and live in the moment. Aware that this feeling of togetherness....is fleeting. Any moment and it will puff of in air.
The drive comes to an end, as Arthit kills the engine. They are parked right before the parking driveway. "We are here", the actor said, pressing on the unlock key. Hearing no movement, he turns to his right, facing the other person. However words died on his tongue seeing the younger one dozing off, his head resting over the window screen. Few of the bangs has pulled themselves down, Splashed over the forehead, leaving inches between to catch glimpse of that smooth skin. His eyes traces those thick curled eyelashes, the slant bridge of nose, round puffed cheeks asking to be bitten, ending at the parted pair of lips. Those pouts still swollen like a ripe fruit from all those sucking and biting from earlier.
Arthit looks another way before he do something stupid again like jumping on the sleeping guy and kiss him senseless.
"Get a grip Arthit!!", The actor scolds himself, clicking off his seat belt. Bolting out of the car but not before pressing the horn button a bit too hard.
Kongpob wakes up with a start, looking around, slumping as he finds himself in the car alone. Rubbing his eyes to scrap off the sleepiness, he clicks off the safety and takes out all the bag, before getting out of the car. Rounding the car, he goes to where the elder is busy scuffing through his cellphone.
"Why didn't you wake me up?", the younger one complained, walking ahead.
"I beg your pardon but the last time I checked, I don't work for you", Arthit sassed back, falling in steps beside the guy.
Kongpob rolled his eyes," it's called basic manner"
"Whatever", Arthit grumbled before reaching out to knock. Before he could do that, the door pulls open showcasing Sonya in a light yellow sundress and hat. A netted veil partly hiding her face. A brown woollen overcoat resting on her left arm. The old woman brightens up seeing the couple. Not missing how his son is sporting his son in law's overcoat.
"You guys are just in time", she steps aside pulling the door wide.
"Mom, you going out??", Kongpob gets inside followed by Arthit.
"Yeah", Sonya replied. She looks over her shoulder, at her son in law," Arthit, should I get you something to drink?"
The actor shakes his head," No. I am good"
Sonya nods," well then, I'll head out right away. I have some urgent business to take care of"
Kongpob pouted, when his mother didn't paid any attention to him. He dropped all the bags on floor, stomping his feet on the floor, "Mooommmm!!!!! I am your son. Why aren't you asking me if I need anything"
Arthit snorted," what a baby!!"
"I heard that!!", Kongpob growled, earning a shushing from Sonya who can feel the drastic change between her son and Arthit. The stiff tension, which was present between them since last night, is no where to see...looks like Sia's plan is working..I hope our absence helps them in getting over their difference....
"Behave and stop whinning like a kid", Sonya chided the other. She faces back her son in law," Arthit, you are older than him and more responsible"
"MOM! I am responsible too!!!", Kongpob said, offended at the remark.
"Really?", Sonya archs her full eyebrows in question," Like you did when you led those aunts inside just cause-
"OK!!! I GIVE UP!!!", Kongpob shouted, throwing his hands in air. His cheeks burning.
"I thought so", Sonya scoffed, looking between both males," I have cooked lunch for you guys. It's in the fridge. You can microwave it before eating. Also, I might not able to make it before dinner time, or might come back tomorrow morning. In case food is not sufficient, you can cook it ..', Sonya trails off as her eyes runs over to her obviously sulking son,"...or not. There's always takeout and deliveries"
"But mom, it's Sia's birthday. How can we celebrate without you?", Kongpob felt sorry for his sister. He wanted to give her the best birthday bash. They have already haf a small cake cutting ceremony in the morning. However, he had thought of all of them going out for dinner and celebrating it, if his sister didn't have anything else planned as she were saying last night.
Sonya slings her purse over her shoulder," Oh Sia is coming with me."
"What?? Where? Why??", Kongpob is confused by the turn of events. "Sia didn't told me anything"
Sonya cleared her throat. She is very bad at lying. She just hopes that her son doesn't get suspicious of her. "Actually, your grandpa, my father, called me. He wanted Sia to acquire his business shares. For that they need some of her signatures in presence of board of directors."
Kongpob blinks a few times, trying to digest the information. "You mean to say that Grandpa is giving all his fortune to Sia? All of a sudden?? For real??"
Sonya nods." Ofcourse. Why would I lie?". She is. But not entirely. The business take over part is the truth. Just not the signature part. Her father has expressed his desire of Sia taking over his business empire. However, Sonya has asked for some time before making any decision.
"That that's a great news mom", Kongpob said, trying to smile. But something seems very off to him. However, he didn't want to appear envious or jealous of his sister, which surely would be the case if he asks any more question.
"Yes it is", Sonya agrees. She looks at her son in law who was quiet all this time," I should take my leave else I'll be late. Take care of yourself and...', She tilts her head in direction of her son,"...your husband"
Arthit gives a small smile," I will Mrs. Suthilak"
********
Kongpob places the casserole on the table, sparing a glance in his room's direction. Wiping his hands with dishcloth, he goes up to his room, knocking," I have heaten up the lunch. Come out "
It has been few hours since they came back and went inside separate rooms after Sonya left. Kongpob deposited himself over the guestroom bed while Arthit remained in his. He was exhausted from all walking and instantly fall asleep. It has been less than an hour when he got up. The sun has already set by the time. It was completly dark outside, signing that it's dinner time already. So, Kongpob took a hot and warm bath before changing into comfy clothes. After checking, he found plenty of dishes, all his husband's favourites, stocked in the refrigerator. Seeing no point in ordering, he microwaved the food, placing over the dinner table.
The door pushes open showcasing a very freshly showered Arthit in nothing but a white towel wrapped around his waist, keeping his modesty safe.
"What the hell!!", Kongpob instantly turns his back to his half naked husband," why aren't you dressed? Get clothed"
"I can't", Arthit replied, stepping out, rounding before younger one who turns the other way.
"Why?? You got naked mania?? Or cloth allergy?? Cover up yourself for God's sake", Kongpob keeps on turning to avoid catching peep of other.
"Because", Arthit smiles, his eyes twinkling in mischief. He stepped closer to younger one, wrapping his bare arms around the slender waist, pulling his husband closer, pressing his bare torso with the one covered in white hoodie.
"I don't have any spare set"
Kongpob gasped, at the nearness, his hands grabbing the joined ones resting over his belly. He was so overwhelmed with the closeness that it took him a whole minute before understanding the later. Remembering the message he had received from Sia while leaving the changing room.
Hey phi!! Do me a favour and buy some clothes for BB. He has not brought any with him. I was intended to pick some for him but I got something to do with May. Please help me okay? Love you phi!!! You are the best!!
Breaking off the hold, he turns to the actor," just a minute"
The actor stares at the guy who dashed to the sofa in living area where he has dumped all those shopping bags. He sees how the younger one contemplates between two bags for few moments, chewing his lower lip for some time before shaking his head.
"Here", Kongpob extends the white paper bag towards the actor who gives him a puzzled look before accepting the bag.
Arthit hesitatingly takes the bag and opens it. His heart soars up seeing the contents inside. He feels delighted. "Is this the reason you were late?? You were picking clothes for me??"
Kongpob can hear how grateful the other sounded. Like kongpob has done something marvelous for him, when it is nothing compared to the actor. Arthit has bought him clothes several times before.
"It's nothing. I were just-
"Thank you. I really appreciate the gesture", Arthit is smiling ear to ear which only made Kongpob hurt inside. How come no one has done such a simple thing for the actor that Arthit is regarding his act so highly. But more than that, Kongpob is mad at his ownself for it being Sia and not him having this mindful of his own husband's needs.
He looks to the side," Don't thank me. It's Sia. She has asked me for it"
Arthit's smile falls immediately. His heart plummets to ground...how stupid of me!!!...He feels like an idiot for showcasing such eagerness and fondness over something which was not done by other intentionally. It is not that he doesn't receive gifts. He gets a lot of these. Every single fucking minute from all over the world from millions of fans he has. However, all of them love Arthit Rojanapat the actor and not Arthit, only Arthit. So, he was really touched that Kongpob thought of him that the younger one was worried for him.Yet see, in the end he only made a fool of myself.
"Well, then I take back my thank you. I'll give it to the one who deserve it", Arthit said curtly, bunching the bag handle in his fist. Turning to get inside when his wrist was grabbed from behind. Raising his anger.
"DON'T TOUCH ME!!" The actor yells in rage. He is feeling like a wounded animal caged in a golden ring.
Not ready for the abrupt loud outburst, Kongpob jumps away in fright. His eyes tears up at the angry lash out. Nevertheless, he forces a smile, pulling corners of his lips," Take this too". The younger one holds out the pale blue bag.
"What's this?? Another charity from Sia?", Arthit jeered. Not making any attempt to take the bag.
Kongpob shakes his head, his eyes glishtening," Don't say that. Sia doesn't mean to insult you. She was just concerned for you. And this is not from -
"That's what hurt me the most Kongpob", Arthit said, bitterly. "It wounds my pride that it's Sia and not you"
The actor only gets a perplexed stare which only fuels up his anger. Moving forward, he pulls the younger from waist, flushing their fronts together. The bag dangling in Kongpob's hand on the side, other griping the muscled forearms. The fimsy hoodie doing nothing to pass on the heat from one body to another.
Glaring in the brown gaze, the actor bits off,"YOU ARE MY HUSBAND, MY LIFE PARTNER. YOU SHOULD BE THE ONE TO GET WORRIED FOR ME. CONCERNED FOR ME. BE MINDFUL OF MY NEEDS AND WISHES. NOT SOME OUTSIDER. IT SHOULD BE YOU FUCKING DAMMITT!!! AND NOT SIA!!!"
Few drops spilled off Kongpob's eyes. He winces as other only tightens his hold on him. He wants to argue. To give excuses. To say anything which would prove that whatever the elder said is not right. Nonetheless, he knew that this time he is wrong and Arthit is right. Just last night he accused the other for giving mixed signals, for playing with his feelings but what about Kongpob. How can he talk about feelings and other person hurting him when he himself is doing the same? How can he claim to have feelings for the elder, when he doesn't even care about the other??
"Why? Am I hurting you?? Again??", Arthit mocked, pressing the other more to him," but what about my wounds?? My feelings?? My pride?? Should I marry your Sia after divorcing you??', Kongpob felt like earth has slipped beneath his feet at the question. More tears slids off the corners. "She is everything you are not. Moreover, she doesn't hold any false grudges against me. To top it off, she sees ME! ME -Arthit. A man who wants to feel loved, take care of. Who wants someone who can give him affection out of her own free will and not because of some damn bills!! I also have right to be that special one for someone. To be the center of attention. To be someone's whole world. And it's not you Kongpob.", Arthit feels empty as soon the words left him. Like he just killed a part of him.
The actor breaks off the hold, pushing back the younger one. His voice breaking," I can never be nothing more than a servant to you right?? A human pet brought by your father so that you can toy with him when you wanted, how you wanted to. Someone who deserve your betrayal, just cause someone wrongfully accused me. You don't even consider me a human, right?? That's why you walking all over me, my self respect and dignity, wearing those high heel pointy shoes is okay, ain't it? We are husbands but tell me one single fucking time when we spent a moment like husbands?? One fucking moment when you didn't hold back?? Just one when you didn't hated me, one when you truly cared for me?
Kongpob shakes his head. He wanted to deny each and every thing. He wants to apologise for all mistakes, the ones he has forgotten too. But how?
The actor scoffs eyeing the tear stained face marred with anguish and guilt ," quite an actor huh? You really should give it a try.
"Just sign the papers and free me. Whatever happened earlier....take it as a mistake", Arthit said in a clipped tone, turned to head inside, when his wrist was held again. Increasing his fury ten folds. He whirls to give the other a piece of his mind. Not expecting the kiss landing on his lips, turning him immobile.
Soft, nimble fingers walks over the bare arms, arms looping around the pale neck, as Kongpob turns his head to the side, kissing the person who has yet to response back. Cupping both cheeks, he showers the other with kisses. Melting in other as an arm wounds around him, flushing his body again to the bare one. He smiles which soon turned into a moan as a hand travels south, palming his lower bottom, putting pressure there. He stills but didn't voiced out any objection. He is not ready but if it is Arthit...he might...
"Sorry", Kongpob whispered over the lips.
"For what?", Arthit asked.
Their lips brushing with each word.
"Everything. Everytime I hurted you...hated you...."
A pin drop silence succeds after, before the actor pulls back.
"Is this it?", Arthit held the other from shoulders, putting the distance back between them. His hazel orbs have turned lava. His whole self is set on ablaze inferno. He fixes the other with a cold, deranged look.
" ls this how you deal when everything goes awry? When nothing works? Using your body?? Seducing others to get what you want?", Arthit mocked.
"PHI!!!", Kongpob exclaimed. His eyes burning.
"WHAT??", Arthit roared, like a deranged animal. "WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO THINK THEN?? BELIEVE YOUR LIES? HUH? YOU REMEMBER WHAT YOU SAID TO ME IN THAT TRAPPED ROOM?? YOU WON'T LET ME TOUCH YOU. NOW SEE FOR YOURSELF!!! YOU FUCKING MARRIED ME FOR SOME MONEY!!"
Kongpob balled his fingers into a tight fist. "I know that it seems sudden and unsincere but I really am sorry for everything. I married you for money cause I NEEDED THAT MONEY!!", The younger one yelled back. "Those guys had Sia. I needed to save her. I needed that money"
Arthit sneered," Like I would believe a single word you say". The actor leans, bringing his lips close to Kongpob's right ear," Let me clarify one thing. I can't stand this hideous sight of yours for long. It makes me sick. I want to put an end to this. So, sign the divorce papers and free me of your vicious claws. Also....', the actor pauses, gritting his teeth, nearing more to the guy, snaking his right hand around later's waist, pulling him close,"....this Kongpob....who kissed me just to placate my anger...who let me touch him just to get my apology....disgusts me".
Kongpob gasped like being gutted open. Those words said with such a hatred and loathing, like he is the worst scum.
".....Past Kongpob who never let me touch him is far better than this low self esteem Kongpob who is ready to spread his legs to anybody if it serves his purpose", Arthit finishes the sentence, tattering Kongpob's dignity.
The shopping bag falls off the ground, contents inside spilling on the floor, going unnoticed by both parties as the house echoed with the roaring of slap landing on elder's cheek. Arthit cupped his red side, looking straight at Kongpob who is trembling from head to toe. His eyes gushing tears. Lips trembling and wobbly.
"Is is this wh what you think of me?", the younger one asked, "...even after spending all this time together?? After everything....?"
He jabs the other in chest," tell me?? Am I really a who whore...a slut in your eyes?"
Kongpob hastily wipes off the non stop tears spilling and trickling down his chin. "Anybody?? Did you said anybody?? to gain my objective, I'll let anybody have me??? ", the younger one pokes the other in chest," Do I look that easy...that promiscuous to you??"
Kongpob rubs his red rimmed eyes," yes I kissed you in hope to calm you down. But how is it wrong???', younger one bunched collar of his hoodie," YOU ARE MY FUCKING HUSBAND DAMM ITT!!! THEN HOW COME ITS IMMORAL AND UNETHICAL??? YOU WERE NOT ANYBODY. THEN WHY???"
Arthit is bewildered. Now that he is no more raged, he can see that what Kongpob is saying is not wrong. He reaches out to other only for younger male to swat away his hand. Angry eyes bored into him.
"You want to get separate, right? Wait a minute!", Kongpob pushed the person aside, barged inside the room, before coming out with divorce papers. He throws the papers in the elder direction, the pages hitting his bare torso before scattering around the area.
"I signed it. Take it and leave."
Saying that, Kongpob marched towards the main door, and walked outside of the house wearing his shredded dignity, leaving behind his crushed heart and trampled soul with Arthit, who can only say one thing," what have I done?"
*****