"Do you need to pack so much?" Greta sighed, her voice breaking.
Saturday had come sooner than I'd expected. If it weren't for the flask with peppermint tea, I'd have my face inside a toilet bowl, throwing up the food I ate. I was so scared to leave, but I knew I had to.
"I'm leaving half of my things. What do you mean it's too much?" I'm leaving the things I don't need, like novels, makeup and excess clothing. I have just enough to get by until I find a job. "It's one month, Greta."
"That much feels like years already. What will you do in Australia?"
"Site seeing, learning to care for myself alone—that's pretty much it." I lied, grabbing the three pairs of shoes and stuffing them into the suitcase. I grabbed the leaflets and pregnancy books the nurse gave me yesterday and hid them between my clothing.
"You'll message me every day?"
"Of course... I will. If I stop, just know I'm in danger." I didn't mean to say it out loud, but my conscious was gnawing at my flesh like a fucking leech. The bag with my underwear fell, and I cursed, bending to pick it up.
"No one knows where you're going. How can you be in danger? We've changed your name like you asked, and you cut your hair." I bit my lower lip nervously. Maybe I should have worn eye contacts or dyed my hair blonde like Virna Lisi. I was somebody new: Marcela Garcia. I thought of keeping my first name and having Antonio's last name, but if Giulia Caruso weren't on a flight, then Giulia Rossi would be. I opted for a Spanish word so that it could buy me time.
"Do you know where Cosimo is?"
"Alessandro sent him to receive a shipment at the docks— Why are you asking?" Curiosity lurked in her voice.
"No reason. I should go with my knife."
"Giulia," Greta took my trembling hands. "What's the matter?"
"Nothing. I'm just trying not to cry." I lied through my teeth, and as always, Greta bought it. Fuck! When did I become such a liar?
"Well then, you can't go with your knife because they search you at the terminals." My eyes snap to her.
"Bag and body?"
"Bag and body." She repeats, helping me with the toiletries in the bathroom. "The metal detector will go off, and you will get arrested for having a weapon on you."
"Okay, it's okay." I voiced loudly when that was supposed to be a thought. Cosimo worked for him—I know it. He was coming for me again, whether I liked it or not.
"Are you sure you're alright?" Greta paused inside the cabinets and furrowed her brows in my direction.
"What time do we leave again?" I didn't answer her. I knew something would happen, whether it be today or days later. I had to get my plan going. Call it paranoia or crazy. I called it knowing the devil and how he thinks about his prey: me.
"In thirty minutes. Alessandro should return as you requested." I needed to calm down before Greta suspected anything. She was already eyeing me differently and getting concerned.
"Very well." I smiled, grabbed the knife, and inserted it into my pants when Greta wasn't watching. I grabbed the coin off my dresser and shoved it into my front pocket. "Is that all?"
"Yes. We can grab something to eat in the meantime."
"I'm not hungry, and I don't want to have an upset stomach." I smiled, taking her arm in mine. "I will miss waking up to the beautiful scene."
"I'm sure Australia has its beauty, too." Greta laughs. "Although, the babies might give you a hard time. I've packed you a snack bag to help calm your nausea."
Yesterday, I got my results back. My baby girls are healthy and plum sizes. I have their sonograms in the suitcase so I can stare at them whenever I like. I only pray I am not endangering their lives by running. It's a high-risk pregnancy, and that scares me. I won't forgive myself if anything happens to one of them. I needed to be very careful and have regular visits to the doctor. I know what I have to do.
"If I'm lucky, they'll stop soon enough." I doubt it. If anything, it'll be worse because of the seed that got them there in the first place. Anything Mikhailov doesn't come easy. "I'll be fine."
I left Greta crying in the car as I walked to the check-in point inside the airport. I didn't realise I was crying until a little girl came to me and handed me a lollipop. I laughed, wiping my teary eyes.
"Why are you crying?" Her quiet voice engulfed me with warmth.
"Because big girls need somebody too." She grinned, not understanding the context of my words.
"Have a lollipop."
"Oh no, sweetheart. It's all yours. I wouldn't want to take your candy."
"But you're sad." She frowns.
"Giada!" My head snapped to the woman coming for us. "There you are! Baby, you made me worried sick." She lifted the little girl in her arms and held her tightly. That would be me with my girls.
I cried, scaring the woman away. I was going to be a mother. I looked behind me, thinking whether I should run back and not face this fear of being alone.
That's not even the fucked up thing I was doing tonight. I looked at the ticket to Australia and threw it into the closest bin. I know there was a flight to Mexico tonight because I was present when Alessandro bought my ticket on his computer.
I wanted to meet the woman that Raffaele's mother stole me from. I had to do it. I wiped my cheeks with my hand and silently cursed myself. I needed to be strong if I was doing this. I dragged my suitcase behind me and walked to the woman behind the ticket counter. She had her head downcast as she filed her nails.
"I want to buy a ticket to Mexico, please." Her eyes ran over my tear-stained face, and I almost snapped at her if she didn't start typing on her computer. "I know there's a flight at six." I looked at the big clock to my left. It was five forty-six.
"Yes. That'll be one thousand eight hundred dollars."
"Wasn't it less than that?" My eyes widened, and I grabbed the cash Antonio gave me and took what I needed.
"I figured you would want to stop once. You look like you're running from something."
Or someone. It looked like that girl wanted to say those two words but refrained.
"No. It's my first time travelling. I'm just emotional." I lied.
"Very well then." She shrugged, taking my money, counting it and giving me my ticket. "You have to go through security over there." She pointed to the line.
"Thank you." I grabbed the ticket as if my life depended on it. Maybe it did. I would be in the country, find my birth mother and return to Italy. It couldn't be that hard.
I looked over my shoulder every minute because I was paranoid that the devil himself would appear and take me into the pit of hell. I know he would, but not when.
Dumb Raffaele just had to ruin everything, as always. If he stayed in Sicily and kept his hand to himself, I wouldn't be looking over my shoulder for a selfish bastard.
"Put your suitcase here. Remove your shoes, jacket, and belt and walk through the scanner." The man with the metal detector spoke as he pointed his directions. I placed my items where he asked and stepped in front of him. I swallowed, remembering I was trying to pass with a weapon on my body. That coin had better do the trick for me.
The machine beeped, and the man looked me dangerously in the eyes. "Ma'am—"
"Oh, sorry." I smiled and fished the coin into my pocket. "It's a coin. My cousin thinks it's good luck and must have slipped it into my jacket." He scowled and snatched the coin a little too roughly. What? He didn't tell me I needed to empty my pockets.
"Turn around." He forced me, and I grit my teeth.
"Do that again, and I'll sue you." I gritted my teeth. Do it again, and I'll kill you. He laughed in my face, and my hand itched to take my knife so I could sink it into his eyeball.
The detector went off over my crotch, and I swallowed with fear. That man couldn't catch me so soon. "Another coin?" He taunted and grinned, tugging on my arm to lift my shirt.
"Get your hands off me." I yanked my arm, and he fought back.
"What's going on, Timothee?" Another man with a security uniform stepped forward with his hand on his gun. I'd think he worked for the devil if he wasn't slim as a pole.
"Your guy has his hands roughing me up because of a piercing I forgot to remove. It's my first time travelling." I yanked my arm from the son of a bitch, and sneered at him.
"I'm sorry, Miss."
"You'd better be because I could report you for roughing up a pregnant woman." The woman from the check-in booth gawked, not saying a word, whilst the other travellers murmured.
"You're pregnant?" Timothee's monotone voice angered me further.
"I have a flight to catch, Timothee." He was a dead man. I've counted five cameras in this airport terminal, and he will watch them when he realises I'm not where he thought I would be. I just wish I could do it—kill Timothee, that is.
I put my things on and parked before following the arrow to Gate 54. A flight attendant speaks near the exit, and I don't register any of it. I blew a sharp breath because anything could have happened to me back there. I'm lucky to even make it this far with that knife.
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Giulia is going to MEXICO?! Shit. She doesn't know the trouble she will be in.
Interesting way to hide a knife.
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