i woke up around 7:30 Everyone was still passed out asleep. Thank god I'm not a person who gets hangovers. I decided to go grab Ella. When i got back, I can see my mum's car in the driveway
Well shit
when i got up to the door waking into the house i saw my mum in the hall. when she headed the door open she turned around to look at me. with a scary look on her face. luckily, Ella's car seat was at the foot of the stairs so I put her in that, then turn to talk to my mother
"mom?"
"what are you doing here" i asked
"There you are. I have been trying to call you all night what the hell is going on here"
"Mum, it is not what it looks like I swear" I pleaded with her, stepping closer to her so I was in front of her.
"The boys needed me"
"The house it " I studied, trying to explain but she cut me off yelling.
"No don't try and make excuses with me in this house. What have you done to the place" she looked around, spray paint on the walls. I know this looks really bad.
"How can you take care of your daughter? If you can't even take care of yourself" she sounded disgusted
"Don't, don't bring her into this" I was so mad at her now. How could she say that.
"Say whatever you want about me, but do not bring my daughter into this"
i stepped closer to her "ever since I told I was pregnant. It's like you been waiting for Me to fuck up and tell you you are right" i tell her, and it's true i always feel like she is just waiting for the pin to drop.
"Maybe I thought you would realise your making a mistake,I love Ella I truly do. but you had so much going for you" i let out a bitter laugh and shook my head
"What did you for abandon your daughter to party"
"It's not like that"
"What kind of mother would leave their child like that"
"Well, I learnt from the best" i don't even mean to say it it just came out. i don't regret it.
I didn't even see it coming. I just felt the sting on my cheek as my head joked to the side, i put my hand up to my cheek realising she slapped me, she fucking slapped me, i looked at her in shock. She never done that before, a tear fulling down my cheek i just picked up Ella and walked away. covering my mouth with my hand to muffle my cry's.
I could hear footsteps behind me. I know they were Conrads. I was looking at the ocean, tears running down my face, ella hasn't stopped crying since I walked out the door.
"shhhh it's ok ella everything is okay" I told her rocking her back and forth.
"lottie" Conrad questioned as he got closer
"shhhhh baby don't cry"
"She won't stop crying" I said turn around to Conrad. "I can't get her to stop" his face fell when he saw the tires on my cheek.
"Hey hey, it's okay" walking closer to me
"no it's not, I'm a horrible mother"
"What are you talking about" he asked confused
"My mums right I can't do this" I looked at my daughter. "She deserves better than me"
"don't say that" Conrad grabbed Ella out of my hands and she stopped crying straight away
"See, she hates me" putting a hand through my hair
"hey hey slow down what happened" he said grabbing my shoulder
"I abandoned her"
"didn't say that, what are you talking about"
"She's seven weeks old she needs me and I left her to get drunk, What kind of mother does that"
"That is not what happened, and you know it, You're allowed to have fun violet"
"do you think I'm a bad mother" i asked. more tears running down my face.
"Of course not I think your the best mother in the world, we both love you" Ella smiling in his arms. "you love her more than anything and you would do anything for her if you're a bad mother then the beach is ugly and the sky is red" I laughed at him trying to cheer me up in the weirdest way possible
"Don't listen to your mom" he said, pulling me into a hug with ella between us "ella loves you and i love you that will never change" he held me for a long time until i felt better.
apparently Steven had told my mum the situation Because she found me sitting on the steps, I told con that I need to a minute "can we talk" I just noticed in response not looking at her.
"Violet,i'm sorry So sorry"
"i'm sorry that I hit you and called you a bad mum you're not. Steven told me what happened, about the house I didn't know"
"do you really think I'm a bad mother" I talk for the first time looking at her with tears in my eyes
"No violet, even when the world was against you. You still had the beautiful baby inside that house right now, my first grandchild" she said with a laugh.
"I didn't mean what I said, and you're not responsible for your siblings. I know they are old enough to take the care of themselves,I was just blaming you so i couldn't admit that i was the bad mom.
" you're not a bad mum" i tell her honestly
"Well, I haven't been a good one. I should've been there for you. I know I've been distant lately. And I'm so so sorry" she sounded so guilty.
"i know" i gave her a sad smile. she opened her arms and I crawled into them. as me and my mum walked back into the kitchen with everyone, I walked over to Conrad, who is holding Ella
"Everything okay"
"Yeah" I said "I think it is" as he smiled at me a return "I owe you all apology you guys have been there for each other and I haven't but I'm deeply sorry for that"
"everyone makes mistakes, Mum" belly tells her
"well, my biggest is trusting that beck and Julia had come to an agreement about to beach house before she passed"
"It's probably too late to change things but I'll try. I'll talk to Julia and see if I can change her mind"
"Thank you, Mum" i told her
"Thank you laurel" j giving her a hug
"before my mum gets here though, we should probably try and make this place a bit less shitty"
"yep"
mum and Julia were out talking for awhile and they came in. I looked up from talking to Conrad to them. Ella was in Js arms. everyone stopped cleaning up and walked in the room
"I have decided to pull out of the sale"
Conrad got so happy. He lifted me up and spun me around. I smiled up at him
"Let's not celebrate yet. We still have to convince your dad to buy the house from Julia"
Conrad grabbed the rubbish to take it to the bin. I followed after him because I know we need to talk.
"Connie" i asked from behind him
"you okay Lottie" he looked worried
"I just.. i"
"What's wrong you're scaring me"
"Nothings wrong, I just I need to tell you something" I reassured him. I didn't want him to think I was pregnant again, or something that would give him a heart attack.
"What?"
"do you remember when you went to that football camp, like 2 years ago"
"yeah, what about it" he looked at me confused
"I went to a party...... and something happened that I never told you about" i said slowly.
"violet..." I could see the question on his face
"No, not that umm" I cut him off as fast as I could "My friend gave me her drink when she had to leave. I didn't know that the guy she was flirting with have given it to her, and I drunk the whole thing. Next thing I know some guys on top with me and my my drees is pulled down to my waist" I started the last bit. i don't look him in the eyes.
"violet... where are you"
"No, I wasn't. I hadn't been responding to J's text and he got worried so he came to find me he got there before anything else happened"
"Why didn't you tell me"
"Because I didn't, I didn't want to think about it, jere promised he won't tell anyone, he pretty much beat the guy half to death. When you got back from camp, I guess I just tried to forget. I thought maybe i'f I didn't talk about it. It would go away"
"Come here" wiping the teardrop from my cheek. he held me so tight it Felt good to talk about it. "I'm sorry" I told him
"You have nothing to be sorry for it was not your fault"
"I know, but I should've told you, a long time ago"
"It's okay, i'm here" he huger me tighter, kissing my hair as i cried into his chest