To Save A Blackened Heart

Chapter 42 - Preparation.

Yn- I'll do it.
Colby- what?
Yn- whatever makes you happy, is what makes me happy. This is your choice too, not just mine. This is what you want right? To try and be human again, even if it kills you?
Colby-... yeah. Yeah it is.
Over the next few days, you can feel enough tension you could cut it with a knife. Everyone was on edge about this, knowing there could be a chance they'd never get to talk to Colby again. I'd say me and Colby probably took it the worst though.
I haven't slept in his room or the other way around since the decision was made. We haven't eaten in a group since this decision was made.
Everything's changing already and I'm scared to give my all to him if he won't make it.
I roll out of bed and sigh, nibbling on crackers as I get ready for the day. They've had me manage my eating the past week or so and I've gained 5 pounds. This is so that I don't have issues giving so much of my blood away. I walk out of my room and to the living room. Seeing nobody around, I go to the kitchen to grab a drink. They don't want me drinking but I want to relax. Drawing my blood starts later tonight and I'd much rather spend my day forgetting about it. I pour myself a crown and coke before going outside to dip my feet into the hot tub as I'm wearing shorts anyway. You know, dedication is a very difficult task. I wish I knew how to dedicate myself to things more, but I can't. I hate managing my food and alcohol intake. I hate worrying about how everything's going to go. I wish I could just dedicate myself to the task and get it over with. All of this for a love that's been forbidden all along. Tara walks out, sitting next to me, 2 drinks in hand. She hands me one and smiles softly.
Tara-I know you're having some anyway. Might as well join ya
I smile back to her as she sits next to me.
Tara- I'm sorry to watch how this is turning out. I really wish I could help you guys get through this. I can't even imagine how hard it is to be distant knowing that one of these days could be his last.
I nod, leaning on her shoulder for comfort.
Yn- I haven't thought of it that way. I really do hope he doesn't die, I think I'd regret everything that led me to this point.
Tara- well would you regret moving in with your cousin? At the time, your absolute best friend? Would you regret meeting us? And being able to sit at home doing nothing because you're famous?
Yn- no.. no I don't. But I would regret letting myself fall into his traps. I'd regret allowing him to make me love him and sympathize with him. I'd regret not being closer with Brennan before Colby changed us.
Tara nods sympathetically and rubs my back. We sit outside for another hour or so, just bullshitting about life. Little did we know, Colby was on the roof listening the whole time. As we walk inside, he's sitting on the couch, beer in hand, on his phone. Tara and me send a glance at eachother as we walk by, going to put different clothes on as we splashed eachother too much to keep wearing the ones we had on. As soon as I open my door again, Colby steps in and closes it. He pulls me closer to him and kisses my forehead, then my cheek, then my neck, and pulls back away.
Colby- I love you too. And I'm sorry. I didn't mean for us to grow distant. I just don't know what to do.
I nod as a tear rolls down my cheek, causing him to wipe it away and smile softly.
Colby-before it gets too serious, can't we just have some fun today?
He pulls me back outside and pulls me into a casual dance. That's pretty much what we did all day, we danced and talked and sat outside. I was probably drunk off my ass by the time I should have been sober. When it was time for them to draw my blood, I made Colby sit by me so I wouldn't cry. Tara had done her research on how to draw blood at home, and Katrina focused on making this situation as sterile as possible.
After the first bag was filled, I was so tired. They forced me to eat, forced me to drink water. Sam and Colby carried me to his room. I'm not happy. I don't want to lose him. I don't want to lose him. I don't want.. to lose him.. I.. don't want.. to lose..
Before I know it, I'm curled up in Colby's arms and bed, falling asleep.