To Save A Blackened Heart

Chapter 30 - Hungry

I wake up in my own bed, but it doesn't feel like mine. Something's off today. I don't want to get up and I don't want to talk to anyone. I'm just sick and tired of all the questions and the stress and never getting any answers. I turn on my new TV and play music while I get ready. I hear a knock at my door after a while
Yn- Who is it??
Devyn- meeee! Can I come inn??
Yn- yessss
She comes in and sits on my bed before sighing and looking at me
Yn-oh I know that look. What's wrong?
Devyn- Colby left. I think with Brennen but I don't know if they're even friends anymore. it could have been someone else. It could have been a girl...
I slouch down a little bit. I'm not mad if he has a girlfriend, it's not my place to be. Nobody wants me with him anyways.
Devyn-but that means we get a chance to talk, that we need to talk
Yn-what about?
Devyn- remember how Sam said Colby was in a bad mood yesterday? He's hungry, yn. He needs food. But that means..
Yn- he wants me to feed him doesn't he
Devyn- I don't know why. I couldn't tell you why. He hasn't really eaten besides random animals and that's not what he needs, he needs to eat more often. It's been a couple weeks
Yn-but you guys refuse to let him get closer to me. Why? You can't have me be the main problem and not explain
Devyn- Sam told me something this morning. Do you really want to know why? Are you sure?
Yn- yes! I've been waiting to know for so long. I don't care what it is
Devyn goes on to explain Colby's first love real love after becoming what he is. How he killed her, how he begged Sam not to let him do it again. And how Colby's scared I'll be that for him
Yn- oh...
Devyn- So please understand, we're trying to keep you away for your safety. If Kat cares, Sam does. If I care, Corey does. And Brennen clearly isn't meaning to be a jerk. 
Yn- Well I understand that. But I'm curious, what if it goes right? What are the consequences
Colby- what happens when you get older? What happens when you do something that pisses me off so bad I get angry? What about that don't you see? Devyn and Sam are right. I'm hungry, starving even. I tried, I was gone because I tried to feed. But I feel empty with everyone else. With the animals. With the one night stands. But if I taste your blood and I'm not able to stop, or if I get too attached to you, or you piss me off, who knows what could happen. Who knows how far I'll go to get to you. Who knows how angry I could get if you hurt me. You think you know and your strong and you can handle it. But you can't! Nobody can help it if I get upset and go crazy. You don't know me yet.

And just as fast as he came in, he was gone. I look at Devyn with tears in my eyes, collapsing into her arms. He's right, he got slightly upset and like a puny little kid I'm already crying. How could I look him in the eye and stop him from freaking out?
Devyn- I'm so sorry, I really thought he'd be gone for a while
Yn- It's not your fault, Dev. But he's right, how could I handle that pressure? I cut and burn when I'm upset. I listen to sad music all the time and always feel on the edge of life and death, like I'm waiting for the wind to sway me one way or the other. How am I capable of helping and loving someone who can only view himself as a monster?
Devyn- Oh honey, you could be capable of that and so much more. Trust me, I see you. Don't tell any of the other roomates, but I support you. I see the way he looks at you. He's only making it a big deal because he's already falling.  Are you scared of him hurting you?
Yn- No.. I wouldn't mind what ever happens. I want to see him happier. He's an interesting person. He's mysterious and rude yet so gentle. He's given me so much and all I have to do for him is a couple chores. He's clearly capable of caring. He seems like the kind who would drop everything for me. Nobody in my life has done that before.
Devyn- so like he said, what happens when you grow old and he has nothing left of you? We both know what he means by the lengths he'd go to have you. 
Yn- You mean.. He'd.. I'd end up like him?

And just like that, the front door slams, and everything goes blurry.