(A/N: heheheh...alrighty guys. Time for me to heavily project onto both Ranpo and Poe. >:) I got this inspired after reading something similar. This includes a few headcanons of mine)
Ranpo had always known he was different. There was no way around it.
Whether it was the way he seemed to have no filter whatsoever and always spoke his mind (which got him into trouble more times than he'd like to admit), his tendency to keep his eyes closed so as to avoid eye contact (which in his opinion was a dumb social expectation because why was that the end all be all way to show you were listening?), how he was obsessed with detective work and had been from a pretty young age and would ramble about it to anyone who was willing to listen, the way he physically couldn't seem to eat certain foods and instead stuck to his usual snacks most of the time, how he was very picky about his clothing, the way things sometimes got to be too overwhelming at work and he couldn't focus, his horrible sense of direction that got him lost an embarrassing amount of times for a master detective, the way he not only hated change but also had so much trouble getting used to it, or the way he just wasn't that great at socializing and therefore only had a few friends (he still sometimes wondered how he managed to score a boyfriend), he was well aware that he wasn't like most people.
He had become more or less familiar with those differences. While he still sometimes had days where he wished he could just be "normal", he mostly accepted who he was. He'd had those characteristics his whole life, so at least he knew what to expect.
This possible difference, though?
He didn't know how he was supposed to deal with it.
As previously stated, he had started dating Poe awhile back (once the writer came to terms with his feelings instead of always rival-zoning the detective) and things were overall really good between them. They rarely fought and when they did, they usually resolved things fairly quickly. Poe kept writing his books and Ranpo kept reading them, the two of them plus Karl enjoyed watching mysteries (even though Ranpo had a habit of spoiling them since he always figured them out within the first few minutes), they baked together, went on dates, and other times they hung out at home, content to just enjoy each other's company.
All of that was normal couple-y stuff, right? Well, yes but...Ranpo had recently realized he and Poe had never gotten intimate in the way most couples did. The most they ever did was kiss and cuddle.
It made Ranpo wonder if he was failing as a boyfriend. Wasn't he supposed to offer that sort of thing? Didn't it just naturally come with the territory of dating someone? Granted, Poe hadn't ever asked for it, but well...he was shy and likely wouldn't outright ask something like that. So didn't that mean Ranpo should take the initiative? He wasn't sure if Poe wanted it though...or even if he himself did.
All this wondering had led him to what felt like a jarring realization: he'd never looked at anyone and thought "wow, I'd bang them". He'd never even thought that about Poe. Granted, Poe was the first person Ranpo ever liked romantically (which had come as a shock to him because he'd originally thought he just didn't feel romantic attraction. But once he'd gotten to know Poe better and became friends with him, that was when he'd started to fall for the shy writer).
Ranpo was shaken to his core upon discovering this. Wasn't that a normal human desire? Didn't everyone want that at one point in their lives? Was he...broken somehow? Was his worst fear coming true and he was being a bad boyfriend and failing Poe?
Unfortunately, Ranpo had been thinking about all of this at work and without even realizing it, he'd gotten up from his desk and started pacing, trying to stay calm.
Meanwhile...
Poe had been thinking a lot lately, both about himself and his relationship with Ranpo. They were doing most of the things that he thought couples did...except for one thing: he'd never slept with Ranpo (well, not in that way, at least).
He began to wonder why that was. He'd never offered, both because he wasn't sure if he wanted to do it and Ranpo never seemed like he wanted it either.
Poe wondered what that was all about. Granted, he could be completely wrong in thinking Ranpo didn't want it since he'd never been that great with social cues.
Which got him to thinking about all the ways he already knew he wasn't like a lot of the people he knew. He definitely found it hard to notice social cues, it was like some weird unknown language to him (he hated to admit it, but it took him a long time to realize Ranpo liked him). There was also the way he was so shy and always had been. His social skills had never been the best, which he credited to his sometimes crippling social anxiety. Very few things seemed to compare to how scary it could be to talk to people, which Poe found strange because he'd definitely done worse things in his life (he'd spent six years crafting a revenge with the intent to kill Ranpo, for crying out loud). There was also the way he kept his hair long and over his eyes, which most people assumed he did because he didn't like his eyes. That was partially true, but the main reason was so he didn't have to make eye contact. He didn't think it was normal how much he struggled to make such a simple movement, but that was the way he'd always been. It felt like there was never a time in his life where he found it easy to make friends. All his (few) friendships had started because the other person was always the first to talk to him. Even then, he was still a pretty quiet person. There was also the way he'd never been able to handle loud noises, they were just too overstimulating to deal with. They'd often send him into a meltdown or shutdown type of thing where he'd just retreat somewhere quiet, sometimes cry it out if he needed to, and have no desire to talk to anyone until he felt at least a little better. Though it did help a lot to have Karl there. He'd had the raccoon since he was a baby and they'd never been separated since then. Another little quirk Poe seemed to have was the way he loved reading. From the time he was little, he'd read any book he could get his hands on (though mysteries were always his favorite) and while he normally didn't like talking to people, sometimes the urge to ramble about whatever he was reading overwhelmed him. He also had a myriad of sensory issues which affected a lot of things from what he wore to what he ate (seriously, how did Ranpo handle eating that many sweets?). There was also the fact that change seemed to be one of the hardest things ever to deal with.
On a somewhat related note, Poe often wondered why Ranpo bothered with him and felt that the master detective deserved better. It was frustrating to Poe how he felt so down so often and often had a habit of overthinking. He couldn't ever seem to just relax.
All of this was to say that Poe knew he was different, but he didn't understand why he and Ranpo had never slept together despite being together for months now and why he'd never asked if they could. Did either of them even want it?
Poe didn't know.
He rambled to Karl about it, to which the raccoon just squeaked a few times and did his best to comfort his owner.
Unfortunately, all this wondering was making Poe have one of his bad days where he wondered why he couldn't just be "normal", and it wouldn't be an understatement to say he had a lot of those days.
Meanwhile...
Ranpo was still pacing around in the room, trying to get all his current thoughts out of his mind.
"Ranpo," a familiarly firm but gentle voice spoke up.
Ranpo froze and looked up.
Fukuzawa had stepped out of his office to see his adoptive son pacing around and noted that something was definitely bothering him. He nodded his head towards the doorway of his office, beckoning Ranpo to come in.
Ranpo quickly followed, suddenly very eager to get out of the view of all his concerned looking coworkers. He walked into the office.
Fukuzawa closed the door behind both of them.
Ranpo sank into one of the beanbag chairs Fukuzawa kept in his office for whenever Ranpo needed to just withdraw from everyone and take a break.
Fukuzawa sat down next to him. "What's bothering you?"
Ranpo shrugged, not meeting Fukuzawa's gaze. "It's...about Poe. Well, sort of. It's also about me."
"What is it?"
"...I feel more weird and different than I already do. Y'know how most couples have certain things they do?"
Fukuzawa nodded, though he wasn't really able to relate seeing as he'd never once been in a relationship in all forty-five years of his life. He'd just never found anyone he liked.
"Well...there's something Poe and I haven't done, and that's...y'know, do the deed."
"And you feel as if you're weird because of that?'"
Sometimes it still shocked Ranpo how well Fukuzawa knew him even though he'd been the man's adoptive son for almost half his life. "...Yeah."
"And you feel as if you're disappointing Poe?"
"I don't feel that I am, I know I am."
"Has he ever told you that?"
"Well...no, but-"
"Then how do you know?"
"Because what if it was something he expected when we got together?"
"Hm...well, has he ever said anything of the sort?"
"...No."
"Then it's very possible that you're getting yourself all worried for nothing."
"Maybe."
"I'd try talking to Poe about this. Communication is very important, after all."
"I know it is, I'm just worried." Is this how Ed always feels?
"That makes sense."
"But you're right, I'll try talking to him later."
Fukuzawa nodded. "Ranpo?"
"Yeah?"
"I just want you to know that you're not broken or weird because of this. That's just the way some people are. I've heard it's called being asexual."
Ranpo thought about it. "Is that the way you are? I've never seen you with anyone in the entire time we've known each other and you've never mentioned being with anyone before that, either."
"More or less. I don't care to 'do the deed', as you said, with anyone. In addition, I've never found anyone I'd want to date."
"Oh, it all makes sense now."
"Exactly. So again, you're not weird."
Ranpo smiled. "Thanks, dad."
Fukuzawa smiled back. "Of course."
After work let out later that day, Ranpo headed over to Poe's house, both so they could spend time together and so Ranpo could talk things out with Poe. He knocked on the door.
Poe opened it, smiling a little. "Hey, Ranpo!"
"Hiya, Poe!" Ranpo replied, walking in and closing the door behind him.
The two of them sat on the couch together, and that was when Poe noticed Ranpo seemed a bit down. It worried him. "Hey...Ranpo, are you ok?"
Ranpo considered claiming he was fine, but he couldn't and didn't want to lie to Poe. "Could I ask you something?"
"Sure, what is it?"
Ranpo averted his gaze. "...Am I failing at being a good boyfriend?"
Poe blinked in shock. There was no way he could've heard that right. Ranpo was asking that?! "What?! No, of course not! Why would you even ask that?"
"Because...we've never slept together and I've never even offered! Shouldn't I have done that at least once by now? Haven't you been wanting me to?"
"Well...no, not exactly. And even if I did, I'd never force you to do anything you didn't want to do."
"I know you wouldn't...I just don't feel very normal."
"Dear, are either of us normal?"
That got Ranpo to laugh a little. "I guess not."
Poe smiled. "See?"
Ranpo smiled back a little. "So...you don't mind that I haven't ever offered that sort of thing and...don't even think it's something I'd want to do? ...I talked about this with dad earlier, and he said it's called being asexual."
"Of course I don't mind. How could I when I'm the same?"
"Eh?"
"This is something that's been on my mind a lot, too. I've been wondering a lot of the same things you have. But again, I'm perfectly happy with the way things are between us now. I wouldn't change a thing."
"Same." Ranpo climbed into Poe's lap and leaned against him.
Poe looked down at him and smiled, running a hand through his hair.
Ranpo looked up at him. "Ed?"
"Hm?"
"I love you."
"I love you, too."
Poe leaned down slightly to kiss Ranpo.
Ranpo kissed back, wrapping his arms around Poe.
After a few minutes, the two of them settled down on the couch as Karl sat in the little space between them. They began to watch the next episode of the mystery series they'd recently started, just enjoying their time together. They were glad they'd talked things out with each other and now knew they didn't have to change a thing to keep enjoying their relationship. They had each other, and that was what was important.