I heard footsteps from outside the room. My heart began to pound violently. It was very bad timing!
I quickly looked at Taehyung. We stared at each other, but he looked calm. Then I heard footsteps stopping in front of the room. I looked under the door, there were feet!
Taehyung walked towards the door, and when the door opened, he was hidden behind the door.
My heart dropped. I froze when I saw the female staff member, whom I didn't know.
"What are you doing here?" she asked.
She looked so confused and somehow seemed suspicious of me.
This made me so nervous.
"I-I... You know, I... can't find the toilet to fix my menstrual pad. So, I just did it here," I said, awkwardly forcing out a laugh.
She held a serious expression.
Fuck, this is so awkward and embarrassing.
"The toilet is at the end of the corridor on the left," she said.
"Oh, really?"
"Yes, do you want me to show you?" She asked, and when I saw her about to come into the room, I immediately forced myself to rush to her, even though my legs were still numb from sex.
"No need, it's just the end of this corridor, right?" I asked her.
Yes," she said, taking a back step out of the room. I've got to go," she said.
I nodded and smiled, "Alright, thank you".
She nodded and walked away.
I let out a relief sigh, my chest was relieved, but not for too long until Taehyung grabbed my wrist.
My chest burned in anger, I was so fucking mad at him. Because this was a fucking workplace!
I turned to him, and he pulled me into the room and closed the door.
He hugged me and kissed my neck slowly.
I turned my head away and tried to untangle him from my body.
"Babe, I thought you had dick in your pussy instead of the blood," he said and chuckled.
"It is not funny," I said angrily, hissing under my gritted teeth because I could not yell.
He loosened the hug and noticed I looked so angry because even my veins popped out at this moment.
"Babe, why are you angry?"
"Why? Are you fucking serious, Taehyung? You fucked me here, at the fucking workplace, are you losing your mind? And we..." I paused and let out a breath through my pursed lips because I was about to burst into tears. "We almost got caught," I said, and I burst into tears anyway because I no longer could control my emotions.
"Oh, babe," he said, hugging me again, and he patted my back to calm me down.
"I am so sorry. I just can't control myself. I love you".
"This is a fucking workplace. Can you understand? I am scared".
"Okay, I am sorry. This place is always quiet, I don't expect someone to walk by here. I am sorry".
I was quiet and did not respond to him.
He loosened the hug and looked at me. "Go home. I will tell everyone that you are sick".
I was not pleased. Because how could I go home?
Is it okay to leave?
He went to get my hair band on the floor, went back to me, and stood behind me. He took my hair gently in his hand and tied it up.
After that, he turned my body to face him. He fixed my hair at the front, and then he looked into my eyes. Slowly, he put his lips on mine and kissed me gently.
After a few seconds, he pulled out and looked at me. "Go home. Don't worry. I will tell them that you are sick".
I looked into his eyes, and my heart was actually warmed by what he did at this moment.
I went home as he suggested. I lied on my bed, pondering what he had done to me.
The last kiss really comforted me to know that he loved me. But the way he forced me into sex,
was his pleasing tool.
Does he really love me?
I was scared to be true. We almost got caught.
But what scared me the most was if he just loved to have sex rather than loving me.
Because when we had sex, he was being rough most of the time, like a sadistic guy too.
Or was I just overthinking?
Whatever, I wanted to get some rest before taking an online quiz.
It was a very tiring day, and I went to sleep.
I set my alarm for 8.30 p.m. and went to sleep.
I woke up to the alarm, freshened myself up a bit, and went to get my laptop.
I started taking the online quiz.
After I submitted it, the marks were automatically generated.
I let out a sigh and closed my eyes, squeezing them shut for a moment.
After getting some courage, I opened my eyes.
My mouth opened in disbelief.
How the damn was it only 5/15?
I was so fucking frustrated because I worked hard on this subject. I just could not really understand it.
Where did I do wrong?
Staring blankly at the wall, Taehyung came to mind.
I took my phone and called Taehyung.
I really wanted him to comfort me and ease my heart.
He did not take my call, and I called him again.
"What do you want?" he asked me as soon as he picked up my call.
"Oppa, I just want you to hear me. I got a low mark for my online quiz. I am very sad now".
"Is that all you want to say about calling me now?"
My face muscles went stiff. He sounded cold.
"I am very fucking tired after all the practices, rehearsals, and photoshoots. Tomorrow, I've got to attend the AAA award, you yourself know it. And now you disturb my sleep just for your fucking marks?"
My eyes flickered, and my heart broke.
I expected him to understand me.
"Didn't you go to study with your senior for that? Or you guys just didn't really go to study".
"Taehyung, stop. I'm very sorry then". I said, and I pressed my lips together because I was so disappointed with him that I was about to cry.
"Taehyung?? Unless you are moaning my name, you are not allowed to call me by my first name! Do not disrespect me!"
I hung up on his call. He went too far and broke my heart again.
I burst into tears.
Again and again! Cry because of him!
What was the use of a romantic relationship if it was only good at hurting me? Fucking my head and my mind?
Was I really his girlfriend?
I buried my face in my hands, and more tears fell.
My phone kept ringing, and it was him calling me. I turned my phone off and slammed myself
into the mattress of the bed.
It was getting sick to argue with him, and he was only nice to me when he wanted to fuck me.
Fuck him!
___
I worked backstage in the BTS makeup room. It was for an AAA award event.
It was supposed to be a good day, as I had been waiting for this day to come. But my fight with Taehyung had ruined my mood, even at this moment.
I stood beside Seohyun Unnie, watching how she did makeup for Jimin. She was so smooth.
and quick. I was jealous of her skill.
Taehyung was in the same room with me, but the room was busy with many staff members, making it difficult for us to have some conversations.
I noticed he took a look at me sometimes, but I did not want to make it up with him.
I just stared at Jimin and pretended to learn the makeup, even though my mind was filled with heartbreak.
As I felt my heart already lost in the deep sea, I excused myself to the toilet.
I washed my face at the sink and dried it. I studied my face in the mirror above the sink.
"Smile, smile. Don't let this drag you down. I have to work!", I cheered myself up.
But my shoulder still appeared like I was shouldering a thousand tons of burden. Sadness and disappointment crossed my face like clouds across the sun.
I walked back to the makeup room.
In my way, I saw Taehyung with some girls. I did know them, but they seemed to be idols too.
Our eyes met, and he broke away.
He put his hand around the waist of the girl who stood beside him. The girl looked quite startled, and she glanced up at him.
They giggled.
What the hell did he try to prove?
I quickly lowered my head and walked past them to the makeup room.
He broke my heart again!
I was too stupid to keep glueing my shattered heart for him, and he just kept breaking it again.
There's nothing to mend anymore.
My heart would never break for him again. This was going to be the last time!
And I just realized that the relationship we had was toxic.
He hurt me, and maybe I could not understand him.
We were not meant to be together. I did not want to continue this relationship anymore. It was nonsense!
Dating a man like him? What did I expect? He was no good from the beginning!
Tears formed in my eyes, but I tried so hard to hold back my tears by digging my palm with my nails and biting my lips.
There are many staff members here, and I did not want to cry in front of them.
"Y/n? What happened? Why do you look sad?".
I glanced up, and it was Namjoon.
I quickly shook my head and faked a smile, saying, "Nothing".
"Lie. I know you very well. Is that Taehyung who hurts you?".
I snapped, shocked at his question. "Do you know about it?"
"About what?" I asked him and waited for my response, but I just looked at him wordlessly.
"I know you date him", said Namjoon again, stopping to beat around the bush.
Again, another shock to me.
"So, is it true he hurts you now?"
I shook my head vigorously. I denied his claim, even though it was true.
"Then, what happened?"
I sighed out and then looked at him in the eyes.
At least I should tell him one thing that really hurt me too. "I took an online quiz yesterday, and I got a really bad mark. I was kind of upset because, you know, I've tried my best", I confessed.
"It is okay, y/n. Just let the past go. You can do better in the future. Focus on what is coming.
You can cover it. I believe in you. It's just like a game. We lose, but we can still fight. Even if the
The game is over, we can start again and again", he said softly and comfortingly to me as he patted my hair down my back.
Tears finally escaped from my eyes. He was way too comforting for me.
I quickly wiped away my tears and giggled. "Aw, Namjoon. You're really nice. Thank you"
"Ah, no need to mention We're friends," he said.
Then my face turned serious. "Namjoon-ah".
"Um?".
I was determined to end my relationship with Taehyung. And I would never be healed if I had to see him every day.
I always melted for him when he spoke or when he persuaded me.
I would always go back to him in the end.
The only way to really end this relationship was...
"I want to quit my job".
***