T/W; This chapter has triggering content! The mention of suicidal tendencies along with depression are mentioned. Please read ahead with caution.
I recommend listening to the song above throughout the whole chapter. (It's looped)
〖Dovahkiin's Perspective〗
It had been three months since my sister got sucked through Cthulu's dimension. It was the one time I had not been able to protect her. With her gone, I was unable to deal with my parents. I just locked myself away in my room and ignored their fighting. In fact, Mom seems to have fallen deeper into alcoholism since she left. And dad? He's been doing more and more drugs since she left. I wouldn't be surprised if they both overdosed.
When I told them about what happened to (Y/n), the two of them didn't believe me at first, but when the rest of my friends explained the loss of the others to their parents they believed us. It might've been because most of the parents were high and drunk though.
The loss of all the other heroes seemed to trigger the town into an even worse condition. The parents who lost their kids drank more, did more drugs, and even resorted to trashing the town. This place has gone haywire. I'm surprised the condition of our town hadn't reached the news.
These days, I don't know what to do with myself anymore. Everything feels worthless. I lost my sister. Wendy's been doing her best to help me, but no matter what I do, nothing changes. Everything just feels pointless.
Suddenly my phone went off.
I opened it, and saw a text from Wendy,
Wendy
Wendy: Hey, I rang your doorbell a few times. You home?
Closing my phone, I left my room to go downstairs. I ignored the stains of red wine on the ground and walls, along with the shattered bottles, and garbage scattered throughout the house. My parents had been fighting a lot more, and I couldn't be bothered to stop them or clean up their messes. There's no point in trying anyway.
I opened the door and saw Wendy. She stared at me in concern, before pulling me into a hug. I returned it slightly, burying my face in her dark hair.
"Hey, let's go for a walk. Maybe we could try to clear our minds," Wendy tried to smile.
She's trying to stay strong, but I know she's sad too. She really cared about (Y/n) and the others, even though they barely interacted.
She took my hand and held it as we walked around South Park. Just like every other day, we would go for walks in the forest nearby, trying to clear out minds. At first, the wild animals tried to hurt us, but I ended up beating them all. Now they all fear me.
Finally reaching the forest, she began to speak.
"Is there anything you want to tell me? It isn't good to keep all your thoughts inside,"
"What's there to say, I've been telling you the same things the last few months," I said blankly.
"I know... it's just, I don't know what to do..." She choked out.
Looking over at her, I saw her eyes were full of tears. She took her hand back from mine and started to cry into her hands. I frowned slightly. This whole time she was finding ways to try to make me feel better, and she must feel upset with herself because nothing was working.
What can I tell her though? This pain isn't ever going to heal. I lost my sister, the person I was closest to in the world, my other half. Nothing is worth anything if she can't be beside me.
"It's alright, you did your best," I placed my hand on her head, trying to comfort her.
She gazed up at me with teary eyes before speaking, "I just want you to be okay,"
I sighed, "I'll never be okay Wendy, but thank you for trying, you're a really sweet girl,"
"Dovahkiin, please! You have to try to get better, I know it's hard, but if you keep staying this way, you'll end up more depressed and completely alone!"
"You'll leave me just because I'm depressed?"
"N-No, that's not what I meant— "
"No, I get it. It's okay, you can leave me like everyone else. Depressing people are hard to be around," I pulled my hands back, and started to walk away. Placing my hands in my pocket, I started to walk deeper into the woods.
"Dovahkiin, no! That's not what I meant!" She shouted, chasing after me. I turned around and stopped in my tracks, seeing her chase after me.
She ran into my chest, and wrapped her arms around me, "I-I'll never leave you!"
"Why not? You should, it'd probably be better for you. I'll probably just drag you down anyway,"
"Don't say that! You have to try to get better! Don't you want to get better?!"
"You don't get it, do you? Life isn't worth living unless she's here with me. She was my other half. The moment she left, was the moment I stopped living."
She looked at me, her face full of disappointment and grief.
"Don't waste your time on a walking corpse,"
I walked off, deeper into the woods.
〖Butter's P.o.v〗
I sat in my room, eyes full of tears. I lost my friends, Stan Kyle, (Y/n), Clyde, and Tolkien. And now, Dovahkiin has become more distant from me. I basically lost all my real friends.
To make things worse, my dad grounded me for not being able to save them. Well, getting grounded isn't new to me anyway.
My thoughts cut off when my phone went off.
Turning in my bed, I grabbed my phone and checked it. Weirdly enough, it was a text from Wendy on Instagram. I opened it,
Wendy
Wendy: Hey Butters, Dovahkiin and I got in a bit of an argument, I just wanted you to know he's in the woods right now. I hope you can check on him if you can. I know you guys haven't talked since the incident.
Butters: Yeah, I'll try to find him and bring him home. Thanks.
I know I'm grounded, but I'll just sneak out. Nothing can get worse than this anyway. I lost all my real friends. Grabbing my coat, I put it on and snuck out my window. Once on the ground, I started to head toward the woods.
On the way over, I saw Eric in his Coon costume. I can't believe he's still playing heroes after all this. He was probably the only one who kept playing heroes after that incident.
"Chaos! I see you're out,"
"Eric, just stop it. None of us are doing that anymore,"
Eric rolled his eyes, "Why am I the only one who cares about getting my friends back? We have to save them!"
"Are you demented? We all saw what happened back there! How are we going to leap dimensions to find them, Eric!?! We can't! This is real life! We lost!! We lost all our friends! Just grow up, and move on. That's all we can do at this point"
I was about to walk off until Eric kept talking.
"Chaos, we can't give up! We may have lost a few heroes, but we still need to save the town! I thought you wanted to change sides Chaos!"
"Oh, quit it with that roleplay shit! Eric, we lost our friends! You wait at the bus stop every day by yourself! Kenny, (Y/n), Stan and even Kyle are gone! And Dovahkiin doesn't even bother to go to school! This town has gone to shit since they left!"
"I know Chaos! That's why we need to save this town! I found another lead about who gave the cops orders to bring more crime into town!"
"Just, screw off Eric. I don't care about any of that," I walked off toward the Lost Forest.
〖Tweek's P.o.v〗
"Have you talked with any of the others yet?" I asked Craig.
"No... not since the incident,"
I looked over at him. He was leaning back on a bean bag I had in my room. We had been spending a lot more time together. At first, I wanted to lock myself away in my room and hide from the world, but Craig wouldn't let me.
According to him, logically, that wouldn't make sense, confiding in each other was the best way to cope.
"It's March... I still can't believe we're already into the new year," I said blankly, staring at my ceiling.
"Yeah, mentally, I'm still stuck in last year... I feel like life kept moving on without me. It's like physically I'm out here, living day to day, but mentally, I'm still stuck in that cave, trying to get out... I can't seem to get past what happened...,"
"I feel that same...Tolkien, Clyde, Stan, Kyle... and even (Y/n). I don't want to accept the fact that they're gone...." I said solemnly.
"I mean... they might all still be alive right? We didn't see them die,"
"Yeah, we saw them get sucked through a portal into another dimension. We can never be sure of what happened to them... We'll always be stuck here, just wondering," I said.
"I wish I could've told her I love her," Craig suddenly said.
I shifted into a sitting position to look at him. His eyes were teary, and he seemed to be holding back from crying.
"Craig..."
"At first, I told her I was happy for her and Kenny because seeing her happy and being around her was enough for me. I didn't feel the need to tell her I loved her... but now... I'll never see her again, and she'll never know how I felt for her,"
"I, Craig—"
"Did you get to tell her you loved her?" He cut me off.
I sighed, "No,"
A silence fell before us, till our phones went off. It was a post tagging us from an anonymous Instagram user. We both looked at each other in caution, before opening our phones and checking the post.
The post was a picture of all of us. It was a picture we all took together at school. Butters took the photo at lunch insisting he wanted a picture of all his friends.
The caption of the post read,
"To all those seeing this post, you are all welcome to attend the memorial service tomorrow at the graveyard near the Church. We plan to mourn the losses of a few heroes we lost last Christmas; Stan Marsh, known as Tool Shed, Kyle Broflovski, known as Kite, Tolkien Black known as Tupperware, Clyde Donovan known as Mosquito, Mysterion who was unknown, and lastly (Y/n) (L/n) who was known as (F/c) Blade, the infamous vigilante. Drinks, tissues, and snacks will be offered. We will be burying a few things from each of them onto a plot in the graveyard, and then placing a stone in their honor" I read aloud.
"That... that whole thing was like a slap in the face,"
"I don't think I'm ready to accept that they're dead," I said dejectedly.
"We'll have to eventually... Maybe this is like a wake-up call," Craig said monotonously.
"Maybe,"
Suddenly, my phone went off. Looking at the caller, it was Butters. He was the last of all people I'd expect to call me.
"Who is it?" Craig asked.
"It's Butters, I'm gonna pick up,"
I picked up the call.
"Hello?"
"Hey Tweek, sorry for calling out of the blue. I'm in the Lost Forest right now, I'm trying to find Dovahkiin since it's getting dark, but I can't find him. I was wondering if you and Craig could help me out,"
Craig who was listening in nodded at me,
"Yeah, we'll be there,"
Craig stood up, placing his hands in his pocket, heading out of my room. I grabbed my coat and followed him out.
Once outside, we started to make our way over to the Lost Forest, which was on the far end of town near Stark's pond. The walk over was pretty silent.
The roads were trashed with broken bottles, beer cans, and a bunch of assorted drugs. The lawns of people's houses were all covered in vomit, torn clothes, and trash, and even a few passed-out drunks.
I'm surprised the National Guard hasn't come down to push the mayor out of office. Either way, the mayor seems like she'll be voted out of office soon. Everyone's pushing for this Mitch Conner guy to be sworn in as the new mayor. I don't know who he is, but I doubt he'll be able to fix the shithole this town has become.
Once in the Lost Forest, Craig and I met up with Butters to look for Dovahkiin. After 30 minutes of looking, we started to grow worried.
"Dovahkiin!" Butters shouted out.
"Over here! I hear something!" Craig said.
We followed him in the direction and saw Dovahkiin defending himself. He was barely standing, and breathing heavily. He put his fists up, but his face seemed to be void of any will to fight. It was like his body was moving on its own.
"Dovahkiin!" Butters called out, appearing to his side faster before Craig and I.
Looking up we saw what he was fighting.
"What the fuck is that?!" Craig shouted in disgust at the creature ahead of Dovahkiin.
"It's Travis Smith, he's a senior at South Park High, but... he looks like an experiment gone wrong...Why does he so abnormally big?! It's like he's a giant gorilla mutant!" I said.
"I'm at my limit...." Dovahkiin breathed out.
"We gotta bail then! Cmon!"
Butters took Dovahkiin's hand and started to sprint out of the Lost Forest. Craig and I followed, trying to lose Travis from gaining on us. Thankfully we ended up losing him. Once out of the forest, we looked at Dovahkiin who was bent over, his hands on his knees trying to catch his breath.
"Hey there buddy, you don't look too good," Butters said sympathetically.
"I wish he would have ended me," He said blankly.
Craig and I looked at each other in concern before looking back to Dovahkiin. Out of everyone, he's taking (Y/n)'s death the hardest.
"Don't say that bud, it'll be okay... c'mon, I'll take you back home and patch you up," He remained blank-faced, and empty as Butters helped him up and started to walk in the direction of their neighborhood.
"Thanks for the help guys!" Butters shouted to us.
"Don't mention it," I said in return.
"Well, we better get home," Craig said.
I nodded, and we left to go home.
〖The Next Day〗
"We're all here today to mourn the losses of a few local heroes; Stan Marsh, Kyle Broflovski, Tolkien Black, Clyde Donovan, (Y/n) (L/n), and the anonymous hero, Mysterion. Thanks to our sponsor; Mitch Conner, we were able to put this event together quickly," Father Maxi spoke.
In the crowd of the memorial were a lot of people. All the families of the heroes lost had attended, except for Dovahkiin. (Y/n)'s parents were there, and the two of them were sobbing uncontrollably, and since they were both high and drunk, their emotions were amplified. The friends of the heroes had attended as well such as Jimmy, Wendy, Craig, Tweek, Butters, Scott, and Timmy. Kenny's family had attended the event as well, not because they knew Mysterion was Kenny, but because they were close with the Marsh and Broflovski family.
Weirdly enough, people who weren't very close with the group had come to show their care as well, the goth kids attended for (Y/n) and the vampire kids attended for Clyde.
Everyone wore black, and most cried throughout the service Mather Maxi gave to the group. And as coincidentally enough, it was raining. This was weird for Colorado since normally it snowed rather than rained.
"In honor of Tolkien Black, we will bury his bass guitar," The pastor pointed to the guitar in the box.
"In honor of Clyde Donovan, we'll bury this varsity jacket,"
"In honor of Stan Marsh, we'll bury his STAN your ground bracelet,"
"In honor of Kyle Broflovski, we'll bury his dreidel,"
"In honor of (Y/n) (L/n) we will bury her plush (animal)"
"And in honor of Mysterion will bury this question mark which was a part of his costume," Father Maxi finished.
The parents and a few of the friends of the group were sobbing, and crying loudly. As expected, Cartman who was there was just eating up all the snacks. He hadn't shed a single tear after losing his friends.
The gravediggers began to lower the box of their items into the ground. A few people threw in some flowers. Once everyone said their goodbyes, the gravediggers began burying them.
"Nooo! I'm not ready! I'm not ready to say goodbye to my sweet baby! (Y/n)! Mommy still needs you!" (Y/n)'s Mom lunged forward trying to throw herself at the box. Stan's mom stopped her and held her back. She was crying just as hard as (Y/n)'s mom.
"I know Kelly, it hurts, I know how you feel," Sharon said to her.
Kelly merely sobbed knowing she had lost her only daughter.
Eventually, all the items for the lost heroes was buried, and everyone had gone home.
Once home, Kelly and Chris both argued the moment they were behind closed doors. They both kept blaming one another for the loss of (Y/n). Neither had chosen to blame Dovahkiin.
The yelling and violence died down, as they both became more drunk and high. Kelly took a few bottles up to her room, deciding to drown her worries away in red wine. Chris remained in the living room and decided to get high off of different drugs, mostly marijuana.
Dovahkiin who stayed home the whole day, remained in his room, laying on his bed and staring at the ceiling emptily.
〖Your P.o.v〗
"Yesss! Fresh Earth Air! Thank you, Jesus!" Clyde ran around and kissed the ground.
"Um, thank me, not Jesus," Bradley said.
"Thanks, Bradley!" Clyde smiled at Bradley.
"That's Mintberry Crunch to you," Bradley corrected.
"Thanks, Mintberry Crunch!" I chimed in.
"Well, I'm off to back to my home planet. I still have a few things to uncover back home! Shablagoo!" Bradley stood up and started flying out into space.
"For once, I'm actually thankful to that dork," I muttered.
I mean, what kind of catchphrase is Shablagoo? And I still don't really understand the power of berry and mint that much. I guess I'll have him explain it to me when he comes back. If he ever comes back.
"We better get back to the others, it's dark and they're probably worried about where we've been," Kyle said.
"It's only been a few hours since we got sucked into there, and... we still have to tell them about Kenny," Stan said dejectedly.
I frowned.
Hopefully, my gut feeling was wrong and he'll show up in a few days. I mean, this can't be worse than before right? He's died a ton of times, he'll definitely be back in my arms in a few days. My intuition is probably off. Everything's okay. I should just stay calm. God, I can't help but overthink.
"Screw that! I'm going home first and showering! Let's just text them to meet in the morning!" Clyde said.
"Yeah, I feel ya, I'm tired," Tolkien said.
"Sounds good, I'll send a message to the group chat, let's just go home for now," Kyle said taking out his phone.
"Oh, my phone is dead, can one of you guys send the message?"
"Oh, shit, mine is too," Stan said, trying to take out his phone.
"Me too," I said in confusion, trying to turn on my phone.
"Same," Tolkien said.
"Uh, that's weird..." Clyde said, also trying to turn his phone on.
"Well, it's nothing to worry about. I'll charge my phone and send the message when I get back,"
Clyde and Tolkien left in the direction of their neighborhood, whereas Stan, Kyle, and I left for our neighborhood.
"Yknow, for being gone for a few hours this place is pretty trashed," Stan said as we saw a bunch of garbage, broken furniture, and beer cans scattered throughout our neighborhood.
"Yeah, I noticed that too," Kyle said.
We reached Stan's house, and waved to him, as he went inside.
"I'll walk you home (Y/n)," Kyle said, as we reached his house, which was just next door to Stan's.
"Oh, thanks Kyle," I said.
"I still can't believe what happened to Kenny, we should probably drop by his house tomorrow and tell his parents, they deserve to know," Kyle said sadly.
"Yeah, we should,"
Kyle looked over at me in concern, as I stared down at the sidewalk. We reached my house, I was about to enter my house, till Kyle grabbed my hand. I turned around, and before I could say anything, he pulled me into a tight hug. I returned the embrace, feeling my eyes water in tears.
"I miss Kenny too (Y/n), I know you're in a lot of pain,"
"Y-Yeah," I choked out, crying into his shoulder.
"I wish I could comfort you all night, but I'm sure you're brother will do a better job at that... Call me if you need me, good night (Y/n)," Kyle said to me.
I nodded, hugging him tightly one more time, before going into the house. Once inside, I cringed at the horrible smells of wine, marijuana, and vomit. On the ground near the sofa was my dad who was barely awake. Seeing how his eyes were so red, he seemed to be high out of his mind.
"Dad?"
"Cupcake is that you?" He smiled slightly, crawling over to me.
I looked down at him slightly worried. He hasn't called me that since I was a kid, I wonder what's up with him.
"Are you okay dad?"
"Aw, cupcake I'm sorry! I'm sorry for being such a shitty father! I know you're gone now, but even if this is a hallucination from the drugs, I want you to know I'm sorry! I should've been more present in your life, and I should've protected you better!" My dad sobbed loudly, crying at my feet.
"Hey Dad, you're just all messed up from the drugs, take it easy," I said softly, bending down to my dad. He looked at me with teary, broken, eyes.
"Even if this is an illusion, I don't want to wake up! I'm sorry (Y/n), Daddy loves you! Daddy loves you so much!" He cried.
"Aw, Dad, I love you too, it's okay," I put his arm around my shoulder, and started to drag him to the sofa. Once laying there, he kept his eyes on me,
"I can't believe you're dead (Y/n), I should've been a better dad, I'm just a fuck up," He said miserably.
"Dad, I'm not dead. You're just high, go to bed," I said, grabbing a blanket from the hallway closet. I came back over to him, and laid it out over him,
"Good night Dad," I told him.
"Good night Cupcake," He smiled before shutting his eyes.
After that whole thing, I marched upstairs and swung Dovahkiin's door open.
"Hey! I'm back!"
Dovahkiin sat up immediately and just sat there staring at me blankly. Weird. Except not weird. He always looks at me blankly. But it seems different. Is it because I said 'I love you' a couple of hours ago? I guess it is pretty fucking weird when your siblings just say I love you, but I really thought I was screwed.
"Hey, are you weirded out because I said 'I love you'? Well, grow up bitch. because you ain't gon get no pussy if you think saying 'I love you' is weird!" I pointed at him, walking over to his bed.
Before I could sit down, he stood up, and I looked up at his face. What the fuck? He looks like he hasn't gotten sleep in days, and he's all bandaged and stuff. Wait, is his hair longer?! What the fuck?!
"What the fuck! How'd you get all hurt? When you made it out of the cave did you end up getting in more fights?!" I asked, while examining the bandages he had, along with the bruises on his skin.
"And what's with your hair?! How'd it get this long?! It's like a whole inch longer! How'd you manage that? WAIT, did you start using my hair products in the shower?! I knew somebody was using my shit! That's expensive stuff yknow! You better buy the next bottle if it empties this week—"
"Is this real?"
"What're you talking about?"
"(Y/n)?"
"Yes?" I looked at him questionably.
He pulled me into his arms and started to sob uncontrollably into my shoulder. Being overwhelmed with many emotions, I found myself crying too. Mostly because Kenny's dead, and like all the other times, I was useless when it came to saving him.
"I love you (Y/n), I love you so much... I-I should've protected you better!" My brother cried into my shoulder, holding me close.
"What're you on about? I made it out of the Cthulu dimension just fine, it's only been a few hours," I said through tears.
"A few hours? (Y/n), it's been 3 months,"
What...
WHATTTTTT? WHAT THE HELL?! WHAT THE FUCK?! WHAT THE SHIT!
I pulled back to look at Dovahkiin's face. He had changed. His hair was slightly longer, he seemed thinner, and his eyes looked so tired. He's not lying... it has been three months.
"Then... Time must move really slow in the Cthulu dimension,"
"(Y/n)... I... I missed you so much! It was hell with you gone, I... I didn't want to be here anymore, I... I couldn't take any of this—" He cried.
"Dovahkiin, have you been eating less?" I asked meekly, as tears slid down my face. I pulled away slightly to stare at him. The changes would seem subtle to anyone else, but to me, it was so obvious. I know him better than anyone. We're twins, he's like my other half.
"I... I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, shower, or do anything to take care of myself... I was lost without you,"
"Then how are you..."
Tears fell down his face at a fast rate, as he looked at me downheartedly.
"Wendy came over every day since you left, she took care of me I... fuck., I can't believe you're here I.... Everything was horrible, I couldn't take any of it anymore. I was a failure, I couldn't protect you, and with you gone, I was left alone. My whole life, through our parents fighting, drug abuse, and us constantly moving away, through everything, all I ever did was try to protect you! And back in that cave, I couldn't do that...! I was useless! I.. I thought I let you die... And with you gone, everything became worse. All I could think about was everything that went wrong! And being here in this house, I was constantly reminded of you (Y/n)! All our parents would fight about was you! A-And when I tried to eat, all I could think about was your absence. You were always right next to me! And then suddenly you're not. You're not there anymore. Everything became meaningless. I... I was really gonna kill my—"
"Don't say that! Please don't say that! Please! I'm right here, you don't have to cry anymore, I'm right here," I comforted him, as tears fell down my face.
I can't believe him. I can't believe him. I don't ever want to hear that from you. Don't ever say those words. I can't imagine what would've happened if I lost him too. If... I had come any later I...
I can't speak, I'm crying too much. But I have something to say to him, to you.
I don't ever want to hear that from you Dovahkiin. I said internally.
I'm sorry.
Don't be sorry, it's going to be okay.
I thought you were dead. I just wanted... I just wanted to be by your side. I wanted to come see you.
Don't say that.
I'm sorry.
I'm not going anywhere. I never left you, okay? We'll always have this special connection, no matter how far apart we are.
I thought you were dead.
Even if I was to die, I wouldn't want you doing that to yourself.
I'm sorry.
He continued to cry into my shoulder. I held him tightly, also sobbing. I can't believe this, what would've happened if I didn't get here in time? What would've happened if I came back, and he was... I can't think. I don't want to think...
I...I'm here. I got here in time. I'm here, and that's what matters. I made it in time I...
"You're shaking, (Y/n)," He said, his voice raspy from crying.
"I'm okay... are you?"
"Not yet...but, with you back, I will be eventually,"
"I'm here for you, no matter what," I said to him.
"I'll always be here for you too (Y/n), please don't ever leave me, please don't ever abandon me," Dovahkiin cried.
"I'm not leaving you, we're twins..."
"I mean... are we anymore? I aged three months, and you stayed the same,"
"It doesn't matter... Either way, you'll always be my brother,"
A/N; Thank you for all the votes, comments, and support! It keeps me motivated to keep writing:) We have around 8 chapters left! Hope you enjoyed reading!
-swagmaster
>4599 words