"Anything is possible when you have the right people there to support you"
James POV
James was tired.
A simple statement, a quick fact.
James was tired.
Why did she always seem to be tired?
Sometimes she wondered if there would ever be a day she wasn't.
Axel and Brandon stayed at the bar with her until her shift was over. It was nice having their company. She truly liked The Tomas. There was something about them that was just...warm.
There weren't a lot of people she felt safe with.
Not that she didn't have some reservations. She wasn't sure she'd ever feel completely and utterly safe with anyone.
The only person that truly made her feel that safe was her dad.
Her heart clenched. She really missed him. Missed his smile there relationship. She was sad she'd never get to see him again. She wondered what he'd think of the boys and Sang.
James swallowed pressing back those thoughts. Instead she focused on safety. Safety and trust.
She wasn't sure if she'd get to that point again. Feeling so safe and comfortable with a person. Having blind trust in them.
Maybe with the boys and Sang though. In years they were probably the closest that ever got her to that feeling.
Comfort, safe, it's almost like she found solitude with them.
That thought always scared her but she was doing better at accepting that. Accepting them.
James yawned stretching between her period and the dragging day at school she just wanted to sleep.
The hours seemed endless and with getting home late she was tired.
She wanted to curl into a little bawl with a warm blanket and maybe phone John Oliver. Was that too much to ask?
It was unfortunate that Kota and Nathan seemed to have other plans.
James was exhausted.
She glanced down at her workout attire. It was the most relieving she'd be so far around the guys.
Okay not reliving in that her ass cheeks and titties we're out. Cause even if they were she's not sure if you'd be able to see them- well maybe her ass she did have a nice ass...
This was the most reviling in a different sense. Not like naked- Like her shower moments. She didn't like to think about those though. She couldn't think about them.
No these clothes she was wearing were tight...they clung.
She was in a pair of black form-fitting pants, and a tight light blue long-sleeve athletic top. Despite being completely covered she felt exposed.
Maybe it was because of the way her clothes clung to her. Showcasing every curve she normally attempted to hide.
They were something Gabe picked out. She didn't hate them. They were comfortable and cute and a few years ago she would have loved them. It's just she hated how people were view her in them. Maybe if she was by herself she would wear something like this.
She finished pulling her hair up into a high ponytail. Working out.
Self-defense as Kota said.
She opened the door and Sang was waiting for her. "I'm glad you're here this time," Sang admitted. "I just feel so...awkward."
"It's new, new things are hard." James patted her shoulder.
Sang smiled her eyes flickering to James's outfit. "I-I like the blue." She said sincerely making James's lips quirk. James took in Sang's pink leggings and white short sleeve top. Her hair was in a high ponytail blonde locks falling into her face.
The girl looked like a dream but James thought everything she wore she looked staggering in.
"I like the pink," James shot back with a wink throwing an arm around the slightly taller girl.
They moved into the backyard. James couldn't help but stifle a laugh. "Oh, you guys are ninjas! Can I get an outfit?"
The two boys were in matching karate outfits making a smirk come to her lips. They looked attractive. It was odd seeing them in these types of outfits. So used to Nathan's simple sports attire and Kota's polos and sweater vests.
They looked cute.
They would look cuter in Kota's bed with maybe some pizza are something well they cuddled.
But nooooooo they wanted to work out.
These boys never took a minute off.
Nathan laughed turning around to face her. Both he and Kota had been hovered together speaking to one another briefly. "You have to earn it."
"Yes master," James said watching as the pair eyed her outfit. Eyes drifting from her chest down making her shift. "Ready to get started?"
She hated form-fitting clothing.
It felt like a second skin.
Even with their eyes, she felt too exposed. They didn't need to say anything because she knew what they were thinking.
It left an odd feeling bubbling in her chest one she wasn't sure how to explain.
Kota blinked a calm smile coming on his face. A light blush crossed his cheeks. "Yes, let's see evaluate where your at." he pushed up his glasses, "We want to make sure you both can protect yourself-"
"yada, yada, in case were kidnapped or in any more gang wards."
"Ah, no kidnapping or gang wars. Ideally no more school fights either." Nathan added shooting both girls a grin.
James nodded walking forward and following him into the shed. Games were over. She didn't take self-defense as a joke and as much as she didn't want to hit Kota or Nathan she knew they knew what they were doing.
She bounced on her feet following Kota out onto a mat. It was a nice little setup Nathan had in his backyard. Like a private little gym. There was a punching bag away from the mats. Some other equipment.
She almost wished she'd known about it sooner.
Note to self, explore the boy's houses more.
Sang and Nathan sat on the sidelines, Nathan moving so his hands were on his thighs eyes calculating her movements.
Kota was standing with his feet shoulder-width apart and shoulders squared.
It was at moments like these that she could so thoroughly tell that they were academy. She had so many questions yet she ranked them all in her brain pushing them aside. Instead, she looked at Kota.
The calm and collected boy who the others turned to for answers. As much as he looked like a cute little nerdling she knew he could handle himself.
It just goes to show you that you can never trust a book by its cover.
"Are you going to take off your glasses?" James questioned before they got started.
Kota smiled, "Don't worry you won't break them." He assured, "We're just going to do some light sparring. I want to see what you know and if you have the proper forms so you won't injure yourself."
"You've said you worked with Cecilia before? Your old foster mom?" Nathan questioned from the mat. He and Sang sat at the edge. Well James and Kota circled each other.
James nodded, "She wanted me to be able to defend myself." Her dad and his bar friends also showed her a few moves. She thought but didn't mention it. The last time she brought up her dad and his bar friends the boy's all had odd looks in their eyes.
She knew they wouldn't get it.
Most people wouldn't bring your kid to a bar.
For James though it was like her home away from home.
She learned early on how to punch. Cecilia however boxed and did mixed martial arts. It was one of the things she showed James to help let out her aggression.
James was no pro but she Diffently knew how to hold her own.
"That's good, will be able to get a good idea of where your at today," Kota said pushing up his glasses. "During the fight, we couldn't analyze all your movements. So what I want you to do now is pretend I'm a bad guy."
A joke was at the tip of her tongue but she dropped it instead squaring her own shoulders as she analyzed Kota.
This was serious.
He was taller than her, larger, stronger. He already had the upper hand. She could go for a strike but he'd see it coming and easily catch it.
She bounced on her feet slightly, bringing her hands up to cover her face. She placed her feet so they were shoulder width apart. Her left foot was slightly infront of her right as she got into her boxing stance.
She may be left-handed but she didn't fight southpaw.
And after that, it seemed like everything clicked in. She let her eyes sweep across Kota one more time before focusing back on his face.
With that, she took a step forward making sure her movements were swift. She ducked slightly as if going under his arm, bringing her elbow out to jab his side. At the same time, she hooked her ankle around his opposite foot sending it back making Kota lose balance.
The boy fell back, just as James was about to step back he grabbed her arm easily tugging her down and twisting it behind her.
She fell to the ground landing on her stomach and letting out a small gasp. Kota's hold loosened slightly enough to let her lose his grip on her arm.
She moved so she could grab his own arms, her knee moving up between his legs. He blocked it but grinned at her as he flipped her pinning her to the ground. She couldn't help the pit that formed in her stomach. It surprised her so much she couldn't help but look up at him with wide eyes.
"Good." He said his green eyes filled with light. Like he was proud. It only made James feel disgusted. He pinned her!
James scoffed, "I'm pinned to the ground Kota." Disappointment laced her tone. She couldn't hide it she was annoyed.
"Because I wanted you to be," Kota responded, "you would have gotten me in the crotch if I were anyone else. Which is good because you cant be afraid to hold back. Good job James."
"I wasn't expecting you to go for a takedown," Nathan said drawing her attention to the redhead.
"He's bigger than me, stronger, I wanted to knock him off his feet. Make him catch his breath. I forgot he was a ninja." James shot Kota a look making the boy chuckle.
"It was a good takedown, but if someone was coming after you probably not your best bet. Knock them down and get away. Run, scream,"
James nodded slowly, "eyes, throat, crotch, ears." She murmured.
Kota nodded eyebrows shooting up, "exactly. Weakest points." He let go of her hold. "Will work on what to do if you were to get taken down. But that's not what we're focusing on. If you can't run away you want to strike."
James tilted her head but nodded. She supposed that made sense. It's just she knew Kota easily would have seen it coming and she wanted to show him that she could handle her own.
"Throat, crotch, and stomach are what we work on for best points of attack. Eyes and ears are smart weak points too but your short." Kota explained tapping her shoulders.
"You could probably try but you should avoid the face," Nathan explained. "Avoid any bones so you don't break any of your fingers. You have a good stance though."
"Work on different punches," Kota paused tilting his head, "hit me."
Without thought James sent a jab to his stomach right above his belly button.
"Good," Kota nodded, "but you can hit me harder. I won't break."
"Again James," Nathan called.
James struck Kota again earning a nod from the boy. "Do you know any other punches? I don't want you repeating the same one and getting in a habit of it." He paused, "I can show you?"
"I know other ones," James said seriously. Shifting on her feet. She didn't want to hurt him or have him miss one of her throws and-she just didn't want to hurt him.
"You ready to go again?" Kota questioned.
James nodded and when Kota ordered her to strike she didn't hesitate. Her first punch was a left hook to his gut. Kota blocked it stepping back, James narrowed her eyes throwing another punch this time to his throat.
He blocked it again easily making her want to groan.
She bounced on her feet throwing a fake punch to his stomach before, switching and bringing her leg up for a front kick.
One second later and she would have hit Kota square in the groan. Instead, Kota caught it grinning at her as he held her leg up.
"Your mad." He pointed out.
James grumbled, "You keep blocking them!" She complained.
"You're hitting me too lightly," He said back smacking her thigh gently. "Again."
James hesitated and Kota narrowed his eyes.
"Hit me," he ordered. There was a demanding note to his tone. One that she had heard before that he directed toward the others. Maybe he had with her once or twice but...she just wasn't used to it from him.
Hitting her crush didn't seem like a great idea to win his affection.
And was it bad that she was attracted to Kota demanding her?
But none of them were talking about that fact.
It's like after the reveal they've all kinda just...skimmed past it?
Sang and James? They weren't going to push. So for now they're all just being normal.
Or normal for them at least.
"Hit me," he barked teasingly, "come on James what are you going to do? Hit me! I dare you-"
James shook her arms, if Kota wanted her to hit him she would. She lunged forward sending two quick Jabs to his stomach. Kota blocked the first one, sidestepping the second one.
She kicked him in the back of the knee making him stumble forward. With that, she decided to strike again sending a sharp right hook to his stomach.
The moment her fist connected to his side she took a stuttered step back eyes wide. "Shit Kota! You stopped blocking!" A wave a guilt coursed through her.
"Your quick," he said back but stood up eyebrows furrowed, "why'd you stop?"
"Your opponent would have been able to knock you down, you left yourself wide open." Nathan pointed out a frown on his face.
She hit Kota!
"I-sorry." James blinked rubbing the back of her neck. "You okay Kota?"
Kota and Nathan shared a long look. "Girls you're both afraid. But I promise you were not glass. We won't break it's okay to strike." He said calmly. "We want to make sure in an event that you have to attack you have the means to do so-"
"And do so without causing damage to yourself," Nathan said seriously. "You girls both were able to handle yourself during the fight at school but sometimes you hesitate."
"There can't be any hesitation," Kota said seriously.
"But-" Sang started her finger coming to her lip.
"Don't be nervous Sang," Nathan said snagging her finger. "You won't hurt us and like we told you the other day if someone's attacking you they're likely not a good guy."
"You have to be aware of your surroundings," Kota said seriously, "and never underestimate your opponent."
James knew that all too well. She didn't say that though. It was just different because these were her guys.
But...they weren't her guys. She shook her head her disappointments pushed to the back of her mind. She turned to Sang eyeing the blonde girl who had been fairly quiet. Sang had a nervous glint to her eyes. Her finger was brought to her mouth. James tried to send her reassuring thoughts but it was hard to with just a look to the eye.
"Okay," the girls shared a look.
James stood up a little straighter. "Your acting as if my opponent is not going to fight back though. So far you haven't made any moves to hit me."
"Your right," Nathan said standing up he circled Kota for a moment before standing behind him. The redhead wrapped his arms around Kota's shoulders and pinned his arms down.
"Now in this situation what would you do?" Kota questioned glancing at both the girls.
"Stomp on his foot?" Sang questioned blushing slightly.
James scratched her head, she had been pinned like that during the fight. "Yeah but what if he moves out of the way? Or he's wearing steel-toe shoes?" She murmured glancing at their position. "Height factors in. Wiggling out of the grip wouldn't work...kinda hard to knee someone's from behind..."
"Your right about the stomping," Kota said after he realized James was trailing off. "James is right you have to take into account so many things like your attacker's shoes, and how tall he is, there is no guarantee it'll work."
"So what's your next move?" James questioned feeling annoyed at herself that she couldn't figure it out. "Wiggle and kick."
Kota smirked, "go for the head." He raised his arms over his shoulders reaching for Nathan's head. Just like that, he pushed his body forward yanking hard until Nathan flipped over his head landing firm on his back.
"Oh my gosh," Sang murmured mouth wide open.
James however smirked curling a finger at Kota. "I wanna try! Let's go!" She exclaimed stepping over Nathan who groaned.
"No, no. I'm alright. Please James just go."
She grinned down at the sprawled-out Nathan wiggling her fingers at him. "You wanna go red?"
"James," Kota sighed eyeing her hovering over a defeated Nathan.
"Secured Nathan?" James teased kicking his side gently.
"Oh let's go, Rosie," Nathan started to get up coughing a little bit. Kota easily stepped forward helping the other man making James smile.
They were good brothers.
"I'm going to work with Sang," Kota said pulling the blonde girl closer to him. "Don't goof around."
Nathan and James shared a grin. "No goofing got it!" They moved out of the shed to give Sang and Kota some space.
"I don't want Sang stressing under so many eyes," Nathan explained as he lead James to the middle of the yard.
"Sure," she jested wiggling her eyes at Nathan. For a moment her heart struck because she hadn't been alone with any of the boys since admitting her feelings. Minus her little one on one with Luke.
Would this be weird?
Was it weird?
Yes. Yes, it was.
"Why are you making that face?" Nathan asked head tilted.
"What face?" James pondered making a series of silly faces. "Hm? Whatever are you talking about?"
Nathan shook his head, "Silly. Come on Rosie let's see what you got."
Putting aside her curiosity James focused on the handsome redhead before her. Friends first. They'd figure everything else out later.
"You know we could totally dip and be lazy bones for the day," She offered giving Nathan an enticing smile. "What do you say-"
He tossed out a light jab making her blanch grumbling to herself as she got into a defensive stance.
"Fine Nathaniel."
"That's not my- Nate is short for Nathan-"
"That's what you want me to believe-"
"James!"
🌸
"Boo."
Jessica's form jumped at James's scare tactic she turned to the redhead an amused smile coming across her beautiful face.
Jessica was a knockout.
"Can you greet someone normally?" The little girl asked tilting her head at Jameson.
The redhead grinned doing an odd little shuffle dance shooting finger guns at the young Lee.
Kota looked distraught about being on off terms with his sister. James learned quickly that all of the boys were unsure what to do.
James personally didn't like talking about things. She was used to bottling it up and pushing it aside.
She could tell the Lee family was all open and direct though. With a kid like Kota and a wonderful mom like Erica, how could they not be?
"You look sad."
Jessica blinked her face flushing, "Did Kota and the others send you after me? I don't want to talk. I already told him that. He's always getting in my business."
James noted the annoyed tone the younger lees voice took. The sadness flushing across her face.
"I saw that Kota looked upset. The others too." James said softly, "and he mentioned you were upset. I wanted to check in, no one's forcing me to do that jelly bean. We can talk if you want, or we can not. I just wanted to make sure you were okay."
That was the honest truth. She was fond of the little Lee. She liked seeing the brightness in the girl's eye. The pure innocence.
She was shielded from a lot of hate in the world.
She got to live her childhood.
Relish in it.
Deal with normal kid problems. Not have to fight off abusive parents and deal with foster homes.
She had a family, love, warmth, and a home.
James always wondered what that was like. She kinda found it a little bit with the guys and Sang. She never realized how wonderfully important they'd all become to her.
She wanted Jessica to keep that warmth. That happiness.
The younger girl's shoulders slumped a frown twisting on her lips. "Just school drama. And Kota not giving me privacy. I'm not a baby anymore."
"You're not. You're growing up and it seems like there not sure how to handle that." James leaned close as she plopped onto the ground sitting next to the girl. "There kinda protective."
Jessica sighed nodding her head in agreement. "It was embarrassing James. Kota just came up into Tates room and-" she flushed her hands shaking. "It was embarrassing."
"He meant well I'm sure." James didn't know the situation but she knew Kota was a good brother. That was a fact. All of them were good big brothers to Jessica.
James never had siblings and part of her wished she did. She didn't know how Jessica felt. She never had an older sibling on her shoulder looking out for her.
"You don't get it! You don't have the whole lot of them breathing down your neck treating you with kiddy fingers at every turn-"
"Oh believe me they have been a lot at times," James murmured thinking through all the overbearing moments she's had with the guys. She shook her head but with Jessie, she knew it was different. The girl was left in the dark.
But weren't she and Sang?
They still didn't know much about the Academy.
But Kota did introduce her to Academy members...The Andersons. Could a relationship like that really work? Did the guys even want to? Did they like her? Like Sang? Fuck-she couldn't go down the rabbit hole like this.
Couldn't think about her finger twitching to call one of the Andersons and ask them for advice.
To break down the logistics. Fuck it's all awkward. She and Owen had even spent their whole lesson with an awkward tension neither one of them was willing to break. The school itself has just been slightly off the last couple of days.
It's like an open wound just begging for attention but unsure how to treat it.
Jessie.
Focus on Jessie.
James didn't need to think about her and whatever the guys were. They were still okay enough to be with each other but it's that unsureness of where they all lay.
James hated being unsure about things.
Having friends was hard.
Jessica shook her head looking sullen. James couldn't help but pause a frown turning to her lips. "Your right. I don't know what you're going through. I don't have any siblings, I've had foster siblings but none ever looked out for me. So no I don't understand what your going through. I haven't had an elder brother or sister picking on me, or teasing me, irking me," She set her hand gently on Jessica's leg. "I can't understand exactly what your going through but you could talk to me about it if you'd like?"
Jessica's frown tilted a bit, "I just...Kota completely bypassed my boundaries. He pushed himself into an intimate situation with my friend and I. He kicks me out when him and the guys are talking all the time but when I needed a moment he just-"
James nodded sympathetically, "They can struggle with boundaries sometimes the boys. I think if this is frustrating you and you voiced it to Kota he would try and work on it. Don't you think?"
Jessica's lips twisted looking like she didn't want to agree.
James squeezed her hand, "What else is going on though little jelly bean?"
Jessica sighed putting her hands on her chin, "Friends are hard."
She couldn't help the laugh that escaped her lips, "Friends really are hard aren't they?" she agreed an assumed smile crossing her lips as she looked at Jessica. The young girl looked so conflicted. "Do you want to talk about it?"
The young girl looked like she wanted to but also looked like she was struggling. It was a long moment before Jessica shook her head. "Not right now."
"Well, when you do you'll know where to find me." James said sweetly shaking Jessica's shoulder gently, "If you change your mind. Or I'm sure Sang would be down for talking..."
Jessica shook her head quickly, "No right now I just...I want to figure it out on my own." She answered her lips twisting as she glanced at the ground. James's heart broke because she wanted nothing more than to be there for Jessica.
She wondered what was bothering the girl so much. She wanted to push her but she knew sometimes it was better when space was given.
Jessica would talk when she was ready.
Hell, she didn't know James too well. Yes, they'd have some intimate moments but they haven't gotten a chance to spend as much time together. James didn't want to push too hard. She'd just give the girl whatever friendship she needed.
Secretly she viewed the younger Lee like a baby sister. And that in itself was kind of nice.
"Would you like to hang out with Sang and me sometime this week little Jellybean?"
"Why because I'm upset and Kota wants you to find out why?" Jessica said snarkily making James blink.
"No silly goose because I haven't gotten to see you much and I'd really like some girl time." James corrected slightly hurt at Jessica's comment but understanding where the younger girl was coming from.
Jessica's face softened, "Sorry Jay," she offered a weak smile. "I-sure. That could be nice."
James pushed her shoulder, "Will pull a prank on the guys if you want. Maybe you can invite your friend to help-"
"Oh god no they'll kill him." Jessica laughed the first real smile twitching at her lips. "Maybe we can go...get our nails done? Or go shopping?"
"Without Gabe?" James smirked, "He'll have a heart attack."
They both shared a laugh mural smiles crossing their lips. James slid an arm around the younger girl pulling her in for a tight hug. Jessica's arms wrapped around her the girl letting out a sigh.
"Just remember everything will turn out alright huh? And if Kota bug's you too much I'll ninja chop him."
"Thanks, James."
The redhead felt her heart warm her arms tightening ever so slightly.
🌷
The diner was really coming together. The paintings looked straight out of a photograph. James couldn't hide her excitement.
They both were fast painters. Or maybe they were just excited and focused.
She wiped the access paint on her overalls turning to Gabe.
There was a warm smile across his face too as they both leaned back looking at there murals that were all across the walls.
"It's breathtaking." James had trouble truly being happy with her work but this piece with Gabe...they had been spending hours, days, endless time working.
She was proud.
Proud of herself and proud of Gabe.
It was an odd feeling, an exciting feeling.
"It is isn't it." Gabe had a similar spark in his crystal blue eyes. It made James's breath escape her lips. She couldn't help but draw her attention away from the pretty picture turning to stare at the boy beside her.
Gabriel was beautiful.
Plain and simple.
He was stunning, James was drawn in by his confidence, his quirky little grin, his bright electric eyes.
Electric.
What an amazing way to describe his eyes.
"Are you okay?" James questioned her voice meek. She couldn't help it. After everything...her and Sang opening up...
She was anxious.
Anxious for herself for the boys for...
Gabe snapped his attention to her his mouth popping open. For a moment she thought he was going to say yes. That he was going to write it off.
But then she watched his shoulders slump, a slight tremble starting on his body.
James hesitantly moved over laying a hand on his shoulder. She hadn't ever...she hadn't really ever had friends to comfort before.
Sure she helped Jessie and John Oliver the others sometimes but...This was different......after admitting their crushes.
James wasn't sure how she was allowed to act.
When Gabe didn't move she wrapped her arm around him and just like that he collapsed into her. James didn't hesitate as she grasped him tightly letting him nuzzle his face into her neck.
"I got you, it's okay, I got you." James hummed running her fingers through his hair. She couldn't help the tears that sprung to her eyes as she felt Gabe start to cry his body shaking.
"I don't want to lose you," his voice came out in a thick whimper crackling ever so slightly.
James couldn't help but squeeze him tighter, "Oh dreamboat, I don't want to lose you either." She curled into him as the boy practically sat in her lap pulling their bodies flush. "My heart would be broken."
"Mine too." He sobbed. "I'm so sorry."
"Gabe-"
"I'm so sorry."
"You have nothing to be sorry for." James stopped him before he could apologize again. "You have nothing to be sorry for not a thing-"
"I'm not good enough for you or Sang-"
James felt a pure hot feeling boil in her chest. She moved gripping Gabe's face so their eyes were forced to lock. "No."
"I'm not-"
"No," James stated firmly forcing him to keep staring into her eyes. "Sang and I have feelings for more than one person. I can't speak for her. I can however speak for myself. Just because I like and care for more than one of you doesn't mean I care for the other person any less."
"You deserve-"
"It would be an honor Gabriel Coleman for you to have any inkling of a likeness back for me."
Gabe's eyes widened, "fuck James-"
"I've never had a crush before. I've found people attractive but I've never- I never thought a relationship was realistic for me. And maybe this kind is crazy and it's a lot to ask but-" she swallowed, "I care for each of you. So much and so differently and fuck Gabe. I want you. But I also want Sang. And Kota. Luke. Nathan. Sean. Owen. Silas. north. Victor. I want all of you. It's selfish but I want you. I want us. All of us. That's me being selfish not you being any less because I care for more than one person."
"James-"
"I've sacrificed so much, I don't want to sacrifice you all. I don't. I want to be selfish for once." James gave a weak smile as she cupped Gabe's face. "I've never felt this type of bubbling feeling before. I crave it. From you from-"
His eyes weakened his head tilting an indescribable look on his face. "James I have felt terrible for liking both you and Sang-"
James's heart thumped, "and secretly I know I may be jealous as...if...our relationships progress. You may be too. Fuck we know some of the others will. I've never felt that before. There might be ups and downs and highs and lows and- I'm willing to fight if I can have every one of you every step of the way. I don't know what this is but I want to see what can happen. I want you Gabriel Coleman. I don't want you to ever doubt that. I like you. I like every fucking bit of you there's no question to that-"
"I just want to be enough," Gabe said softly he had stopped crying but his face was flush his hair sticking to the sides of his cheeks. Those eyes look at James with so much vulnerability. "I want to be enough."
"You are so much more than enough my love." James cupped his cheeks her heart warming as she looked at him.
Gabe was just like her. The crave and need for love wavered across his face.
She promised herself she would show him all the kindness in the world. As much of the high confidence he held, he was an insecure bean at heart.
She leaned forward kissing his forehead. She watched as his eyes closed his features softening.
"I like you so fucking much James. I just don't want to be hurt."
Her heart clenched, "me either sweetheart." She rubbed his cheek holding him close. "Me either."
She held him in her arms his head laying on her chest. Fingers coursing through his hair as she gazed at the painting in front of them. Whispering sweet words into his ear.
She was glad she could be there for him.
Her heart broke that he was feeling so sad.
She wondered briefly if this was all a mistake.
🥀
"Dinner guys," Kota called from the front doors of the diner.
James and Gabe shared a fond smile hands held tightly together as they walked to Kota at the door of the diner.
"Breaks are important." Kota insisted pushing up his glasses. Giving them a disappointing stare. "Have either of you learned to check a phone."
"Ima go with no if you called," James replied sweetly not letting go off Gabe's hand. Kota frowned his nose crinkling making her look at his face more thoroughly a frown coming to it.
She made sure to keep her face calm as she analyzed him.
She wasn't sure but it was almost like he had on makeup- his skin having a sweety pill that didn't look as smooth as normal.
Her eyes narrowed mouth opening about to ask when Nathan popped up behind him.
"Funny James," Kota remarked turning making her question if it was just the lighting in the diner or if she was right.
"What are we feeling? Chinese? Pizza?" Nathan questioned tilting his head as he patted his stomach.
"We could eat out." Kota offered, "switch it up."
"Ugh but then we have to drive somewhere. We could get delivery." Nathan said looking excited. "And watch a movie!"
Kota would have told her if he was wearing makeup wouldn't he? Unless it was to cover a bruise. Her eyes flickered back and forth between the boys and they all debated going back and forth.
Did they- no the guys wouldn't fight. She was reading into it. She was tired and over analyzing everything. If Kota had a bruise he wouldn't hide it.
"Chinese sounds good, I'm in a cozy mood. What are you feeling rebel?" Gabe asked squeezing her hand tightly. He looked a lot lighter. It made James happy that their conversation brought some lightness back to his eyes.
"I'm probably just gonna eat at home-"
"Oh did you have plans with Doc or Mr. Blackbourne?" Nathan questioned. "Skip it hang out with us. We're cooler."
"And we have a Sang," Gabe grinned, "where is she?"
"With Luke at the house, there with Jessie." Kota filled in. "You could spend the night at my house James save the drive in the morning-"
"No, actually I'm going home." James stood up straighter she was prepping herself for an argument. "My foster home."
She didn't mean to drop a bombshell. She really didn't. But she couldn't just keep playing the card of acting like her foster home didn't exist.
Arthur the butler there could only keep Beatrice away for so long.
She needed to go back.
No more playing pretend.
Things were different.
The three guys' heads snapped to her all becoming confused their heads tipping.
Yup she knew this conversation wouldn't be good. Maybe they should have had it after dinner.
DUN DUN DUN.
Did I leave you guys on a cliffhanger yes 😭 but I figured it was better that then waiting a bit longer for an update.
The part with James going back to her foster home is having me slightly stuck so I wanted to give you guys some Jamie and the boys well you wait to see things really get heated and kicked up.
Thoughts?
Questions?
Things your excited to see?
What do you think the boys are going to think? Say? Sang?
What do you want more of?
We're getting back into book plot with the self defense lessons and getting closer to a chapter that I've been wanting to write and show since I first started this book 😭it's crazy. If you want a hint it's the part in the book with the Sanddust pile.
This go wild.
Anywho I'm so glad to be back and hopefully sharing more updates instead of long waits!!
I've missed you all and so glad you've been patient with me.
For sure a shorter chapter this time but you guys know I'll be back with the longer ones. 🥰😍
All the love darlings♥️