Cover Art: Cruz7808
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S5E98- Same Old, Same Old
"I really need to make a list of all the weapon's, vehicles, and improvements I'm making." Ruby commented with glee.
"Well what do you have so far?" Pyrrha asked.
Ruby perked up. "Well what I've already made is Nora's blue spider grenades which-"
"Are Awesome! I still need to test them out!" Nora grinned.
Ruby grinned too, "And I've made Coco's turret upgrades from the warthog turret which she says is even more stylish than her last one."
"It does look good, she sent me a picture." Yang commented.
Ruby continued, "I also added two barrels to Nora's grenade launcher which now has a compartment for mini rockets. It's now basically a smaller version of the rocket launcher Doc had when O'Malley infected him."
Nora cheered and raised a hand to high five Ruby.
Ruby grinned and didn't leave Nora hanging, "And I've made improvements to my baby Crescent Rose, times 10 optical zoom, recoil reduction like the way the M808V fires, increased fire power which accidentally made her sound like the snipers from the show which is AMAZING! And-"
"You're rambling." Weiss pointed out.
Ruby blushed, "Oh sorry!... but I think that's it with what I have done already but I need to get a good idea of everything I need to do."
"Well I have a question Ruby." Ren started, "Nora's grenades. How do they arm? I'm just wondering how they don't stick to Nora's hand once they're armed."
Ruby grinned, "They're pressure sensitive once she arms them with the button they are armed but as only get sticky once it leaves her hand. In the show I guessed the grenades worked with some form of plasma but since I can't do that they secrete a mixture of explodable glue. They also use ice, and energy dust to make that glowing blue color."
Ren smiled and nodded, "Thanks I was just a little worried, sorry to insult your abilities."
"Awww you're looking out for me!" Nora cheered.
Ruby waved Ren off, "It's fine Ren I love the excuse to talk about weapons."
"You never need an excuse." Blake sighed.
Yang chuckled, "Well you need to make my Bumblebee hover and shoot those blue light things that the purple thing shoots. We can work on her together."
Ruby nodded and wrote the note down, "Yeah using the hover tech from Argus buses."
"Hmm and maybe a paint job, purple. Purple and Yellow go great together." Yang grinned.
Ruby grinned, "Ohh! Great Idea!"
"I requested to have my current StormFlower sub machine guns to shoot the blue lights that the robots Lopez made carried." Ren explained.
Ruby gasped, "Those are the same as the things the purple thing shot! And they look exactly like the blue spider grenade! Maybe they're plasma too... hmm going to have to find a substitute, maybe some form of wind, lightning, energy, gravity steam and ice dust."
"That was a mouthful." Yang laughed. Weiss nodded, "I can help you with that."
Ruby grinned, "Thanks Weiss! Anyone else?"
Jaune nodded, "My Keyblade, once the scientists in Atlas figure it out."
Weiss sighed, "Last update I got from Winter was that it was relatively low on their list of importance because it's not a gun. But since it's a weapon they are working on it. The main problem is just a hard light generator that's small but has a lot of charge, if Solar power was around in Atlas I would suggest it but since Solar power is hard to make and use, not to mention if my father finds out he will suppress it since it's not dust that's not an option. So we just have to wait."
Jaune sighed but nodded.
"Anyone else?" Ruby asked hopefully, she sighed when no one spoke up.
Pyrrha noticed her demeanor and perked up, "Have you given any thought to making the armor?"
Ruby looked up, "What?"
"The armor, from the show." Pyrrha explained.
Ruby grinned, "YES! That's a great Idea thanks Pyrrha I can't believe I never thought of that!"
"But who would you make it for?" Yang asked. "None of us need full body armor."
Jaune raised a hand, "I could use an upgrade but... full body armor sounds like a lot of work."
Ruby nodded still grinning, "Oh it is, especially armor like theirs, maneuverability, protection, practicality-" Ruby continued to list off problems she would need to solve as Weiss leaned over to Blake and Yang.
"Her vocabulary really increases when she's talking about weapons." Weiss pointed out.
"It's amazing isn't it." Yang grinned.
"It's like you with everything dirty." Blake sighed. Yang cackled as Ruby finished.
"-and the fact that there are no schematics other than what I can see in the show which is not much added on to the annoying thing that the graphics are bad." Ruby finished taking a deep breath.
"So how long would it take?" Jaune asked.
"If I had the materials and schematics a few months but since I have neither probably never. But that unattainable goal is what I will work towards!" Ruby cheered.
"Yeah!" Nora cheered, "Do the impossible Just Do it!" Pyrrha chuckled and nodded, "Like Nora said, Just do it." "Nothing is impossible! Just do it!" Nora shouted.
"Nora. Please calm down." Ren sighed. "We don't have time for your motivational speech. We are so close to the end of the season."
Nora sighed, "I like my speech."
Ren chuckled, "It's a great speech. Save it for the right time." "I kinda wanna hear it now." Ruby commented.
"I want to get the show on the road and watch the show." Yang sighed.
"Jaune?" Blake asked. Jaune nodded and hit play.
"Same Old, Same Old" appeared on the screen with the theme.
All eight expertly hummed the theme.
Fade in to Caboose listening to Church from inside Sheila... I feel dirty just writing that.
Church: "Haha yeah! Whay it worked! I can't believe Caboose came through! How ya like that Wyoming? We even have our tank now. Booya mother fu-"
Click of the radio being turned off
Caboose: "Sheila, um did you send the tank out there to, help them?"
Sheila: "Negative."
"I wonder how Caboose is going to save them because the ignition coil isn't in the ship." Jaune commented.
"I believe in Caboose." Pyrrha smiled, "Besides he can use the purple vehicle Church got from the reds."
Jaune nodded, "Good point."
Caboose: "Oh, so the tank went out there, on its own." Sheila: "Affirmative."
Caboose: "Sheila, I think they might be in trouble."
"They definitely are." Blake chuckled.
Sheila: "Affirmative."
Caboose: "I, should help them!"
Pyrrha smiled.
Sheila: "Affirmative."
Caboose: "I could go out there-"
Sheila: "Negative."
Pyrrha's smile fell.
Caboose: "And help them beat Wyoming-"
Sheila: "Negative."
Pyrrha frowned and furrowed her brows slightly angered.
Caboose: " And save the day-"
Sheila: "Nope."
Pyrrha huffed and crossed her arms annoyed.
Caboose: "And everyone will love me!"
Sheila: " What?"
Pyrrha raised an eyebrow in confusion. Yang laughed, "Love for hero work."
Caboose: "Especially Church!"
Pyrrha shook her head and chuckled.
"He idolizes Church and Hates Tucker." Blake commented, "Likely because Tucker represents competition.
Yang and Ren nodded.
Sheila: "My sensors indicate you don't stand a chance."
"I have faith that Caboose stands a great chance." Pyrrha commented.
"Me too, Caboose is smart in his own way." Ruby said supporting Pyrrha.
Caboose: "Thanks Sheila! This is a great plan!"
"He didn't make a plan." Weiss pointed out. "Improvising is a great plan!" Ruby cheered.
Cut to the standoff at Red Base
Wyoming: "You know I really can't thank you enough for leaving your tank com pletely unattended. It was very kind of you old chap. Makes your defeat and humiliation so much easier."
"That is a good point, they shouldn't have left it unattended." Weiss commented.
Church: "Yeah? Well, great, glad we could help. I'm sure if you give us enough time we'll just kill ourselves. Save ya some ammo."
Blake chuckled at the dark joke and Yang laughed at the sarcasm.
Wyoming: "If it makes you feel any better your death is for a very noble cause."
Ren and Jaune perked up.
Church: "What do you want with Tucker's kid anyway?"
"Please answer." Jaune begged.
Tucker: "What?! How did we get here? What!?"
Everyone stared at the screen confused. "What is he doing?" Ren mumbled.
"Distraction?" Jaune suggested.
"Pretty good distraction, making up something completely random." Ruby grinned.
Church: "What's wrong with you?"
Tucker: "With me? What's happening?"
"He really does sound genuine." Jaune commented. "He's good." Yang agreed.
"Never expected Tucker to be a good liar." Blake commented.
"More of a good actor." Weiss corrected.
Church: "Um... we're being held prisoner? Where the hell have you been?"
Tucker: "What? How? I'm so confused."
"He's great at stalling." Jaune complimented.
Church: "What do you mean how? Are you retarded?"
Tucker: "But Tex! She-"
Church: "I know. Tex will take him out."
"Yeaheh she will." Yang laughed.
Wyoming: "Oh right, Tex. You mean, her?"
As Wyoming says "her" he lunges forward and punches the invisible Tex, knocking her down and out.
Everyone gasped.
"That's why he was so damn confident." Yang growled. "He knew." Blake gasped.
"Motion tracker?" Ruby mumbled.
Wyoming: "Poor Tex. Never could figure out when she'd been beaten."
"He just knocked her out in one punch." Yang said mouth agape. "He surprised her." Blake sighed shaking her head.
Church: "What? How did you know where she was?"
Tucker: "What do you mean, that's where she was before."
"... what?" Ren mumbled.
"What does he mean before?" Jaune asked. Everyone shrugged.
Church: " Before what? Tucker, have you gone insane?"
Ren furrowed his brows deep in thought.
Wyoming: "Wait a minute, what's going on?"
Gamma: "I think he knows."
"Time travel." Ren snapped, "His time distortion unit. He knew Tex was there because he went back in time."
Immediately Weiss and Blake groaned. Yang glared at the two to shut them up.
Wyoming: "I think you're right."
Caboose comes charging over the hill, doing his very best "The Cavalry" impression
Caboose: "Church! I'm coming to help! Don't start without me!"
Pyrrha chuckled and facepalmed.
Wyoming: "It's the idiot, take care of him. Quickly." Gamma: "Right."
Pyrrha looked back up frowning.
Tucker: " Caboose, no, stay back! Don't get near the tank!"
Pyrrha stared at the screen.
Gary fires the tank's secret machine gun at Caboose, killing him
Caboose: "Uuuhhh!"
Everyone gasped.
Pyrrha coughed in shock after the gasp, "What! No!" Pyrrha yelled, "Caboose I-" Pyrrha paused to collect her breath. "at least time travel is involved he'll come back." Pyrrha sighed.
Ren nodded.
"Still though, that was brutal." Pyrrha frowned, "It just goes to show how great this show is, I really feel for Caboose I don't want him to get hurt."
"I don't want Tex to lose." Yang added.
"I want Simmons and Tucker to win something and get over their problems." Jaune added.
Pyrrha nodded at the two. "I hope he comes back soon."
Church: "Caboose! Noooo!"
Pyrrha chuckled sadly, "Wow. Church actually doesn't hate Caboose. He's really sad that he's gone."
"I didn't expect that from him." Blake added her eyes still wide.
Cut to the Reds watching from the safety of their conquered Blue Base
Sarge: "Whoa. Looks like the blue one just got killed by the tank."
Pyrrha huffed, "Sarge at least should know Caboose's name." "Yeah they worked together for a while." Weiss sighed.
Simmons: "A Blue got killed by their own tank? Man, I just had the weirdest sense of déjà vu."
Everyone chuckled.
"Caboose Caboose Caboose." Pyrrha sighed shaking her head. "You sound like my mom." Jaune laughed.
Pyrrha blushed and chuckled, "Caboose is just my favorite character."
Grif: "Hehey, speaking of getting tanked, we should see if the Blues have any beer around here."
Sarge: "Hiyo!"
"Hiyo!" Yang cheered at the same time.
Ruby sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose.
Cut to Red Base, where Gamma is firing the tank cannon at the Blues
Tucker: "Go, move!"
Tucker and Church run down the ramp and out in to the canyon as Gamma fires at them.
"Sad that they had to use Caboose's death as a chance to get away." Blake commented.
Weiss frowned, "That's one strategy I hope the Atlas military never has to use."
"That's a strategy I hope no one has to use, and I will do what I can to make that happen." Ruby said confidently.
Tucker: "Look out!"
Church: "Caboose, Caboose! Ah, fuck he's not moving!"
Pyrrha smiled sadly again, "It's so sweet that Church cares about him."
Tucker: "I'm telling you he's dead. Just like last time."
"Why didn't we see last time?" Nora asked.
"Maybe he will explain it." Ren said gesturing for Jaune to hit play.
Church: "Tucker, you are gonna start making sense right, now . That's an order."
Jaune and Ren smiled.
Tucker: "This already happened. Wyoming shot Caboose, Tex jumped Wyoming and knocked his gun away and then-"
"That makes sense." Yang grinned.
"And then after that Wyoming reset and-" Ren gasped. "Jaune! Remember when Church kept resetting?"
"Yeah and-" Jaune gasped, "Wyoming is doing the same thing which means-"
Ruby and Blake caught on.
"Copies/Clones" Blake and Ruby said respectively.
"Woah, that's pretty badass I wasn't expecting that." Yang laughed. "We could be wrong." Ren pointed out.
"Nah you guys are good at that foreshadowing stuff." Yang explained.
Blake huffed, "This show isn't like any other show or book I've read I can't guess anything."
Church: "Tex is unconscious!"
Tucker: "Fucking A, I know, that's what I'm saying!"
Church leans out over the rock and shoots Wyoming in the gut with the sniper rifle
Ruby gasped and cheered, "Yes! Finally! He hit him for once!"
Jaune laughed, "And now Wyoming is going to reset and it will never have happened."
Ruby's grin fell and she huffed.
Wyoming: "Awh!"
Church: "Oh- I hit him! I hit him! I can't believe I hi- I mean, I knew this sniper rifle was awesome."
"Mines better." Ruby grinned.
Tucker: "This is just like last time! Once Wyoming lost everything seemed to-"
The camera pans back and Tucker and Church are returned to Red Base in front of Wyoming
Tucker: "Reset."
"How is Tucker not being affected?" Ren mumbled. "The sword?" Jaune suggested.
Ren nodded, "The sword is important so that's probably it, there's no other possible explanation."
Wyoming: "You know I really can't thank you enough for leaving your tank com pletely unattended. It was very kind of you old chap. Makes your defeat and humiliation so much easier."
"Wonder how many times he worked on that line." Yang chuckled.
"Three times, what we just saw was the second loop." Ren explained.
Church: "Yeah? Well, great, glad we could help. I'm sure if you give us enough time we'll just kill ourselves. Save ya some ammo."
Wyoming: "If it makes you feel any better your death is for a very noble cause."
"I don't wanna see this again I wanna see new stuff!" Nora complained.
Church: "What do you want with Tucker's kid anyway?"
Tucker: "What is going on?"
Church: "Um... we're being held prisoner? Where the hell have you been?"
Nora huffed and crossed her arms in a child like way.
Tucker: "Church don't you remember any of this?"
Church: "Tucker, what the fuck are you talkin' about?"
Gamma: "He knows."
Wyoming: "How the devil is he keeping up with us?"
"Hmm so they don't know." Jaune mumbled.
"It could still be the sword but... them not knowing doesn't make much sense if it is." Ren mumbled.
Gamma: "Irrelevant. Eliminate him."
Gamma fires the tank cannon at Tucker and misses
Tucker: "Go, move! Tex look out, he knows where you are!"
Tex reappears as Tucker and Church make their way back down to the canyon
Tex: "(reappearing) What?"
"Since Tucker knows everything he can win." Jaune commented.
Caboose saunters over the hill
Caboose: "Church! I am coming to help! Don't start without me!"
Pyrrha sighed, she didn't want to see this again.
Tucker: "Oh, shit I forgot about Caboose!"
Caboose is sniped in the face
Pyrrha gasped.
Caboose: "Eh! I am dead!"
Pyrrha's gasp turned into a snort of laughter, "This is why I love Caboose, even in death he's so adorable and funny. Also I'm happy this death was a lot less brutal."
Church: "Caboose! Noooo!"
Pyrrha smiled, "It's going to be sad if Church doesn't remember any of this and continues treating Caboose poorly."
Ruby nodded.
Back to Blue Base
Sarge: "Yowza! Looks like the blue one just got sniped!"
Grif: "Hey, speaking of getting sniped, we should see if the Blues have any... beer around here?"
Yang raised an eyebrow, "Why was it so awkward this time?" Jaune just shrugged.
Simmons: "What the fuck's that supposed to mean?"
Grif: "I don't know. Sounded a lot funnier in my head before I said it."
Simmons: "Man, I just had the weirdest sense of déjà vu."
"Hmm so it's affecting the reds too." Ren mumbled writing in his notes.
Back to Tucker and Church
Tucker: "Aw crap."
Church: "Whaddaya mean aw crap? Caboose just got killed."
"Makes sense that Church would be mad, he doesn't know Tucker has seen this before." Blake commented.
"I don't want to see it again." Pyrrha sighed.
Tucker: "Yeah I know, but I'm pretty sure it's okay. Somehow Wyoming keeps looping us through the same events over and over again. And noone but me seems to remember. I don't know how, but every time he gets hurt things just start-"
Back on top of Red Base in front of Wyoming
Church: "Yeah? Well, great, glad we could help. I'm sure if you give us enough time we'll just kill ourselves. Save ya some ammo."
Nora groaned.
Tucker: "Yeah, what do you want with my kid anyway?"
"Did it not work?" Yang asked. Jaune and Ruby shook their heads.
"He's pretending it worked!" Ruby gasped.
"Yeah, smart." Jaune grinned.
Wyoming: "You don't, remember?"
Tucker: "Remember? You never told me anything."
" Now he's a good actor." Weiss chuckled.
Gamma: "I think it worked, that time."
Wyoming: "Apparently. Keep your eye on him next time."
Church: "The fuck are you guys talking about? Oh you know what, never mind. Keep talking. Waste time until Tex kills you."
Wyoming: "Oh right, dear Tex. You mean, her?"
Wyoming lunges at Tex and knocks her down and out again... not that she remembers the first time
Yang frowned, "Why would he let Tex get knocked out?"
"To get the jump on him, use his confidence against him." Blake explained.
Wyoming: "Oh poor Tex. Never could understand when she was-"
Tucker steps in behind Wyoming and stabs him through the chest with his sword
Tucker: " Beaten!?"
Yang clapped, "Oh bad ASS!"
"That was awesome!" Ruby cheered.
"And Caboose isn't dead this time." Pyrrha smiled. "But he can just reset again?" Ren pointed out.
Everyone groaned.
Wyoming: "Oh dear!"
Tucker pulls out of Wyoming (heh) and Wyoming falls to the ground
Gamma: "Reggie."
"Gary cares about Wyoming..huh." Pyrrha commented.
Tucker: "That's right bitch. I take care of my kids."
Yang chuckled.
"Sounds like my mom if she cursed." Jaune laughed.
Caboose comes trundling over the hill
Caboose: "I'm coming to help! Don't start without me!" Tucker picks up a sniper rifle and shoots it at Caboose's feet
Tucker: "Caboose, get the fuck outta here!"
Pyrrha sighed as the others laughed.
Caboose: "Okay bye, I don't wanna help any more."
Everyone laughed including Pyrrha.
Back to the Reds at Blue Base we go
Sarge: "Whoa. Looks like the white guy just got stabbed."
Grif: "Hey, speaking of getting stabbed... I think I have a headache all of a sudden. For some reason I want a beer."
Simmons: "Man I just had the weirdest sense of... meh what's that thing called? When you, think you've done something, but you don't know if you did it?"
"It just gets worse every time." Yang commented.
Grif: "How the fuck should I know?"
Cut to Church and Tucker fleeing from the enraged Gamma
"Hmm, Maybe Gamma has to send Wyoming back, and because Gamma is too busy shooting at them he can't." Ren suggested.
"That makes sense." Jaune nodded.
Church: "Tucker, how did you know that was gonna happen?"
Tucker: "'Cause of Wyoming. You know how Tex said every freelancer had an A.I. and a special ability?"
Church: "Hyeah."
Tucker: "I think Wyoming can loop us through little segments of time, and he just keeps doing it over and over again until he wins."
"It's cheating!" Nora shouted.
Church: "Wait, what? How many times did we loop?"
"Four unless there were even more loops we didn't see." Ren explained.
Tucker: "Who knows? Doesn't matter now. That cocksucker's dead."
Church: "No no, it does matter. Don't you remember when we came here to begin with? I got stuck in a loop, and every time I went back, I left a bunch of-"
Church and Tucker run in to the bottom of Red Base, where they encounter seven Wyomings waiting patiently for them
Church: "Copies."
Ren mumbled as he counted the Wyomings. "So eight loops in total."
Wyoming: "Hello. Hwahahahaha."
Wyoming 2: "Hehehehaha."
Wyoming 4: "Hohohohohohohoho."
Wyoming 7: "Heh heh heh heh."
Wyoming 5: "Heh ho hohohoho."
Wyoming 3: "Huh huh huh huh huh"
The screen fades black.
"Next one next one next one!" Nora cheered.
"This is getting so good!" Ruby said almost jumping in her seat.
"I'm playing the next one." Jaune laughed, "Around twenty episodes a season so we are very close."
Just so you know, most of the transcript was written by whoever made them. I wish I could find out who but most(around 98%) of the jokes made in the transcripts were made by him/her. Just wanted to make sure people knew that because I don't want to take credit for this persons funny transcripts.