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S4E77- The Arrival
"The Arrival" Appeared on the screen with the theme.
All eight hummed the theme enthusiastically.
"The Arrival?" Ren mumbled.
"What is it?" Jaune asked.
Ren waved him off, "Nothing, so far the episode titles have related to the episodes somewhat, just wondering what or who the arrival is."
Fade in to a wide shot of Blue Base
Church: "Uhh, I don't believe this."
Doc: "It's true, your friend Tucker is pregnant. See, my little gizmo lights up green to indicate pregnancy."
"He's not pregnant." Weiss mumbled.
"He acts exactly like my mom did when she was pregnant with my little sisters." Jaune pointed out.
"He's a guy" Weiss argued.
"Yeah but it's a show that's meant to be funny." Jaune argued back.
Weiss sighed, "But they have... tried to keep some level of realism-"
"Realism? Church time traveled." Blake pointed out.
"Actually because Vic is still alive I strongly believe in the theory that Gary put Church through a simulation. Because Church is a ghost." Ren commented.
"I just don't believe he's pregnant because I think he's a virgin." Yang shrugged.
Church: "I thought it lights up green to indicate flesh wounds."
Doc: "Yeah also that."
Church: "And infectious diseases."
"That would be a useful tool." Ren commented. "Except with different colors for different things."
Pyrrha and Blake nodded.
Doc: "Hyeah, it lights up green for just about everything. It takes a while to figure out the difference. Like this green, indicates a high level of anger stemming from suppressed feelings of inadequacy."
Doc aims the Gizmo at Church and it lights up green.
"... Hmm that actually makes some sense for Church." Blake mumbled.
"Kind of like Simmons. Maybe that's why Church was so mean to him?" Yang suggested.
Blake nodded. "That makes sense. Simmons has suppressed feelings of inadequacy and Father issues so he tried to please everyone. Church has suppressed feelings of inadequacy so he's mean and sarcastic."
Jaune sighed, "Do you think Tucker is like that too?"
Blake shrugged. "Suppressed feelings of inadequacy can be used to explain almost anyone's behavior."
Church: "If that thing keeps talking bad about me I'm gonna fucking smash it."
Doc: "And this green means impotency. Oops, actually that green causes impotency. My bad Church."
Yang laughed, "He wasn't using it anyway. I don't thing Sarge built him one."
"He just built the shell remember?" Jaune pointed out.
"He did ask for a bigger switch though." Nora added laughing.
Church: "Oh, that's okay, I wasn't using it anyway."
Doc: "See, these tools can be confusing sometimes. That's why doctors have to go to school for so long. Not that I'm actually a doctor mind you."
Blake and Weiss sighed while Nora laughed.
Church: "And that's never been more apparent than with this diagnosis."
Blake laughed, "I still love how fluid and well written the dialogue is."
Tucker: "Uogh, what diagnosis?"
Doc: "Congratulations Tucker, you're pregnant."
O'Malley: "Huhahaha, yes, with bastard. Muhuhahahahahaha."
Tucker: "It's not mine, I wasn't even in town that weekend."
Church: "Tucker don't listen to him, he's a lunatic man, he's got no idea what he's talkin' about."
Doc: "Uh, you want me to go over the green light thing again?"
Caboose runs in holding Andy Lopez's head the skull
Pyrrha chuckled and shook her head.
Caboose: "Doctor! Help! My second best friend is dead! Fix him."
"Whoever this voice actor is he's amazing. I think Caboose's voice actor is the best out of all of them." Blake commented.
Pyrrha nodded, "Me too, but that's probably just because Caboose is my favorite character."
"All the voice actors are pretty good." Jaune said. "I can't really think of a moment where their voice sounded out of place."
"Maybe when that one guy... what was his name... Phil? Yeah Phil the one that Wyoming killed when we first saw Wyoming." Weiss explained.
Ruby sighed, "You are really good at finding mistakes."
Weiss chuckled. "Thanks I guess."
Church: "Whoa whoa whoa, Caboose, what happened, who's dead?"
Caboose: "Andy. Andy's dead. Look!"
Church: "Okay, that's disgusting."
Pyrrha and Yang couldn't stop laughing.
"Why are you laughing Pyrrha? I thought you liked Caboose." Yang asked in between giggles.
Pyrrha laughed, "I do, but I still think his... lets just say innocence and naivety is funny."
"Stupidity." Weiss corrected. "But I agree, it is funny." She smiled.
Caboose: "Doctor Doc, please help him."
Doc: "Uh, I don't know what I can really do to help him, my first aid procedures aren't very effective after decomposition ."
"They aren't effective at all." Ren commented.
Nora laughed, "In case you guys didn't know, Ren is a nerd for health stuff and surgery things."
Ren just shook his head.
Church: "Where did you get that?"
Caboose: "First Tucker dies and now Andy!"
Doc: "Tucker isn't dead, he's pregnant."
Tucker: "It's not mine, we weren't even going steady!"
Yang laughed.
Church: "Stop that."
Tucker: "Hey look man, I've been saying that for a long time, it's gonna take a little while to get used to this."
Church: "You're not pregnant ."
Weiss raised her eyebrows. "Church is getting pretty stressed."
Caboose: "I was just standing outside the base, and someone told me to turn around and when I did, Andy..."
Church: "Whoa wait, who told you to turn around?"
Caboose: " I don't know! But they were very helpful."
Pyrrha laughed and shook her head.
Church: "And let me guess, when you turned back around, Andy was gone."
Caboose: "Yes. He was... gone."
Pyrrha and Blake laughed.
"I think this is my favorite scene out of the entire show so far." Pyrrha laughed.
"My favorite is still when Tucker, Tex, and Church went to attack the alien. And Tucker made the joke about mailing bullets." Yang laughed.
"I loved the Fanatics fighting each other, it was so much like a real multiplayer match." Jaune laughed.
Ruby laughed, "That's my favorite too."
"Mine is the Solar energy moment, just because it gave me the idea." Weiss shrugged.
"I liked it when it was revealed Caboose now had O'Malley." Blake commented.
"I liked that moment too, but my favorite is when it's revealed Vic is working both sides." Ren added.
Everyone looked to Nora.
"... I just love all of it!" Nora beamed.
Church: "Hhuhh, everybody stay here. I'll be right back."
Doc: "Wait, what do you want me to do about the pregnant guy?"
Tucker: "It's not mine."
Church: "He is not pregnant."
Weiss, Blake, and Yang nodded.
Caboose: "And what about Andy?"
Church: "And that's not Andy, just look, stay here!"
Weiss shook her head, "It has to be really hard dealing with all of that."
Tucker: "Ahw, would this be a bad time to mention that my stomach just started hurting really bad?"
Jaune smirked, "I don't know if you guys have seen someone pregnant before but come on, he's pregnant he is acting exactly like my mom was."
Weiss and shook her head and huffed.
Doc: "Oh boy, Caboose? Better go boil some water."
Jaune laughed while everyone else was just confused.
"Why would you boil water?" Ruby asked.
"To sterilize tools?" Ren suggested. "Or to keep the room warm or clean?"
Jaune just laughed, "No, well maybe a long time ago, But my mom told me her secret and every other women's secret. When they tell a man to boil water it's to get them out of the way. Because sometimes during labor their husband will annoy them a lot with their worrying."
Blake, Weiss, Pyrrha, and Yang laughed. "That's genius!" Yang laughed.
"I'm going to ask dad if mom asked him to do that." Ruby laughed pulling out her scroll.
Caboose: "How can you think of soup at a time like this?"
Pyrrha laughed again and shook her head... again.
Cut to Andy translating Lopez's message from Red Command
Andy: "Here are your orders for winning the war. Eliminate the enemy. Okay, also, try to do better than you are currently doing. And, please win, thank you."
Weiss shook her head.
Grif: "That's totally, totally lame. And not at all surprising. Which is also totally, totally lame."
Simmons: "I don't know 'bout that Grif, I think there was actually some valuable tactical information in there. Right Sarge?"
Sarge: "Simmons have you lost your last marble? That was pure nonsense!"
Simmons: "Oh, that's what I meant."
Yang shook her head. "Kissass."
"Now knowing why Simmons is a 'Kissasss' as Yang so kindly put it-" Blake started.
"Thank you." Yang cut in.
"-It puts his actions and lines into better context." Blake finished. Ren nodded.
Sarge: "Eliminate the enemy, what kinda plan is that? I think Command has lost it."
Grif: " Lost it? When did they have it?"
Donut: "Uh, speaking of the enemy, here comes one now!"
Cut to show Church walking towards them with Sheila behind him.
Weiss smirked. "This is going to be good."
Grif: "Hey, let's eliminate him! Then we'll have one less thing in the to-do list!"
Sarge: "Uhh, I'm just so depressed. I can't even threaten your life for being a total jackass.... Jackass. I'll kill ya."
Donut: "Nah, I don't think eliminating him is gonna be easy. It looks like he's bringing his tank with him."
"Sheila is so cool!" Nora commented.
Simmons: "What're you talking about Donut, the tank isn't coming out here. Look it's not even moving."
Donut: "Yes it is, look."
Grif: "Hey Sarge, cheer up, I've known Command was stupid all along. It can be hard at first but you'll get used to it."
"That's sweet, he's actually trying to comfort him." Pyrrha smiled.
"Yeah." Ruby smiled.
Sarge: "Just leave me alone. Dehrhrhrhr."
"Ok well, the fake sobbing isn't that well voice acted." Weiss commented.
"Yeah, I have to agree with that." Blake sighed.
"It is a show meant to be funny, so even if they were good at fake crying they probably wouldn't do it." Jaune pointed out.
Simmons: "Donut, I am looking, if it was getting closer, it would be getting bigger."
Donut: "It is getting bigger, compared to that tree!"
Simmons: "What tree, there aren't any trees out here!"
Grif: "You wanna call me an idiot Sarge? That always makes ya feel better."
Pyrrha smiled.
Sarge: "Oh, shut up moron."
Grif: "Heh, feels better, right?"
"It's great how even with the style of the show. They grow as characters you know?" Blake asked. "It's not stagnate."
Ruby smiled, "Yeah, some fairy tales got boring after a while because the hero never grew. But the ones I still love today have great characters."
Blake smiled.
Sarge: "Yeah I, guess a little."
Simmons: "Nope, not moving."
Donut: "Yes it is! See, look closer!"
Sheila: "(Faintly in background)Firing main cannon."
Sheila fires in to the rock behind Simmons and Donut
Ruby smiled, "Hmm, I have a great new team move!"
"What is it?" Blake asked.
"Firing Main Canon." Ruby smiled, "Basically Weiss makes a glyph thingy and we all shoot into it, combining out bullets into one big shot!"
"I don't think that's how it works." Jaune pointed out.
"Actually with my ice glyphs it should work." Weiss corrected.
"We need more team combos." Jaune mumbled.
"There's still the Nora canon!" Nora shouted happily. "Launch me at the enemy while I'm charged up with electricity!"
Jaune laughed, "Thanks Nora, great idea."
Simmons: "Okay, you're right, it's coming this way."
Donut: " RUUUN!"
The Reds scatter... to behind a single rock
Donut: "We're gonna die!"
Sarge: "Run men!"
Simmons: "Ah, run away!"
Grif: "No!"
Simmons: "Please don't kill me!"
Grif: "No!"
Simmons: "Not the fucking tank!"
Donut: "Run!"
Cut to the Reds behind their rock
Sarge: "Regroup men! Grif, start passing out additional ammo!"
Grif: "Uhhhh..."
Sarge: "Simmons, pass out the ammo you brought because you knew Grif would forget."
Jaune and Ren smiled, remembering the past joke.
Simmons: "Already on it, Sir." Donut reloads.
Sarge: "Return fire men! I'll call for reinforcements. Come in Command, come in!"
Vic: "Hey dude, come in. Hey, what's going on, that sounds like fun."
Nora growled, "I still hate Vic for lying to them." The others nodded.
Sarge: "Vic, we need help. Simmons, get busy negotiating a surrender."
Weiss sighed, "Finally a smart plan! You can't beat a tank and Sarge understands that, wow."
Blake was about to say something but she took in Weiss's words. Ren and Jaune did as well.
All three smirked and shook their heads understanding what was about to happen.
Simmons: "Okay, how 'bout we give them our base?"
Donut: "Oh, good idea! We could live in the caves!"
"Yeah that would be cool!" Nora shouted.
"Yeah!" Ruby agreed.
Simmons: "We could let them kill Grif!"
Sarge: "Simmons you're supposed to negotiate their surrender, not ours! Vic, are you still there?"
Jaune, Ren, and Blake laughed while Weiss groaned. "I should have seen that coming." Weiss grumbled.
Jaune laughed, "We did." He said gesturing to Ren, Blake, and himself.
Simmons', Grif's and Donut's heads emerge right to left from above their rock in a comical way
Simmons: "Hey Blues!- Up- I mean, Blue! We're only gonna give you one chance to surrender!"
Church: "Wha- why would I-"
Sheila fires, loudly her canon recoils into the rest of the tank mechanism.
Ruby gasped, "Hohhh! That's so smart! The canon doesn't rise up! That's the perfect way to deal with recoil!"
"I thought your Sniper already did that?" Pyrrha asked surprised.
"No no I just hold it steady, years of practice! But I'm going to upgrade my sniper. 10x Zoom and recoil reduction..." Ruby went off on a tangent mumbling to herself about her weapon modifications. "Recoil reduction that can be turned off and on.. hmm."
Church: "Hey, hold on a second Sheila. Why would I surrender!?"
The Reds mumble something including the word sandwich at least twice behind their rock before re-emerging
"Did they just mumble sandwich?" Blake asked.
Ruby shrugged, "I couldn't hear."
Blake sighed, without having her Bow on she could hear sooo much better, but she was still nervous about it.
Simmons: "Uh, because you're outnumbered!"
"Tank beats outnumbered everyday!" Nora shouted.
"Tank beats everything!" Ruby added.
Church: "Bullshit dude, I got a tank! People with tanks are never outnumbered!"
The Reds mumble something actually incoherent behind their rock before re-emerging again. Sandwich was mumbled though.
"Yeah they're definitely just whispering Sandwich." Blake commented.
"You have great hearing" Pyrrha complimented.
"... Thanks it's because of the ears." Blake chuckled nervously.
"... Hey Blake? Don't hate me for this but I just have to say it. You know how people call people with glasses four eyes?" Yang asked trying to hold back laughter.
Blake huffed understanding what Yang was about to say, "You know what Yang I-"
Ruby and Weiss held Blake back as Yang cowered behind Jaune. "Save me!" Yang whisper joked to Jaune.
Simmons: "We also think that it's your turn to surrender."
Church: " WHAT!?"
Simmons: "Well, if you'll recall, first you surrendered, and you guys gave us Doc. And then we surrendered, and we gave you the jeep. Now, that means that (trails off)"
Church: "Sheila, shut him up."
Sheila fires at them
"He is right though." Nora mumbled. "It's only fair." Ruby shrugged.
"Nothing is fair in war." Weiss commented.
"Or love huh?" Yang said wiggling her eyebrows.
Pyrrha smiled and shook her head while everyone else on team RWBY groaned.
Simmons: " Son of a bitch!"
Donut: "Is that a no?"
All three duck down behind the rock.
Church: "Okay look guys, I don't mean to be rude, but I've got a missing girlfriend, a guy who's pregnant, an idiot who thinks his pet just died, and our worst enemy is hanging out unsupervised at our base right now. So I really, really, really , don't have time for this horseshit right now."
Weiss shook her head and sighed, "The stress of being a leader."
"It hasn't been that stressful." Ruby shrugged, "Not since the first few weeks."
"Yeah, it took some getting used to." Jaune smiled, "Thanks again for the Advice Ruby."
"Nope!" Ruby joked.
Yang laughed, "Oh so she noped you? It's annoying but it works."
"Huh?" Blake mumbled confused.
Yang and Jaune waved her off. "Nothing it's fine." Yang said.
"Just get advice from Ruby on something serious and you'll get it." Jaune explained.
Ruby smiled.
Grif: "Uh, what was that part about the pregnant guy?"
Church: " He's not pregnant! That's impossible."
Weiss nodded.
Cut to Andy.
"Oh I forgot about Andy." Nora laughed.
Andy: "(Laughing) Yeah, unless the Alien impregnated him. That's what they do, they infect the host with a parasitic embryo. But you already knew that, right?"
"..."
"That. Is. Absolutely. Disgusting." Weiss gagged.
"Ugh! So gross! Why!" Ruby yelled.
"Eugh! That's why the Alien kept hovering over him when he was sleeping!" Jaune said shaking his head.
As soon as Jaune said that everyone gagged. "You made it so much worse!" Yang yelled.
Church: "What? NO! Why didn't you tell us that could happen?!"
Andy: "Uhhh I mean uhhh Alien baby! How could that have happened? I am shocked as you are."
Yang started laughing. "Ok now it's not gross now it's just funny."
Jaune snorted, "Yeah it kinda is."
"You two are gross it's gross." Ruby gagged.
"Well written though." Ren commented.
Blake shook her head.
Radio sounds... happen
Caboose: "Come in Church come in."
"No! Don't use the Radio! O'Malley!" Ruby yelled.
"Oh crap she's right! Mean Caboose again yay!" Yang yelled.
"No! That's bad!" Pyrrha yelled.
Church: "Caboose, what did I tell you man, you're not supposed to use the radio while O'Malley's here! Oh great now I'm on the radio too."
"Church is almost to a breaking point I can tell." Weiss commented. "Like Simmons."
Caboose: "Oh that, that's why I'm calling to tell you. Um, the Reds already used their radio aaand, O'Malley is gone."
"Oh no, it's in Sarge." Nora mumbled Before gasping. "Now he's going to be an even meaner commander!"
Weiss and Ruby groaned.
"The show is getting serious again." Blake mumbled with glee.
Church: "Oh my God."
Sarge: "That's right Blue, we've called in the cavalry. As we speak, the glorious Red Command is sending a ship to aid us! No doubt it's a battle cruiser of the highest magnitude! It's time to end this thing once and for all!"
Cut to Tucker, Caboose, and Doc.
Tucker: "Ohh, hee hee hee hooo, huuugggghhh"
"Here it comes." Jaune mumbled.
Doc: "Congratulations, it's a - thing. Eugh."
Junior: "Honk honk, honnnnk honnnnnnnk!"
"Oh gross!" Ruby yelled.
"Ugh where did it even come out?" Nora asked. Jaune, Weiss, and Ruby gagged.
"Where do you think? That is one hell of a kidney stone." Yang laughed. "Oh! That means Tucker isn't a virgin! He can brag about having sex with an Alien now."
The others just shook their heads.
Church: "What, was that."
Caboose: "Ohwell, that's the other thing I called about, um, Tucker had his gross baby."
"Gross is the right word." Weiss gagged.
Tucker: " It's not mine!"
Church: "He is not pregnant! Sheila? Stay here. If anybody moves, shoot 'em."
"He can't deny it now." Pyrrha sighed.
Donut: "A baby, wait up! I wanna see!"
Sarge: "Donut, get back here! Wait for the ship."
"Donut just moved? And Sheila didn't shoot?" Weiss pointed out.
Donut: "But Sarge, we don't know when the ship is gonna get here. It's coming all the way from Earth. That could take days, or weeks, or months, or even years!"
The ship lands square on Donut's head, Seemingly crushing him in to a small pink lightish red disc of humany goo. But actually sending him into to dark caverns below the gulch.
"No Donut! He was my favorite!" Nora yelled.
"I thought Sarge was your favorite?" Jaune asked.
"That doesn't matter Donut just died!" Nora yelled sadly.
"I'm sure he's fine, no major character has actually died, Church and Tex are ghosts, maybe Donut will be a ghost now too." Ren pointed out.
That cheered Donut up.
Simmons: "Ship's here."
Grif: "Shotgun"
"Really? That's their reaction to their teammate dying?" Pyrrha asked shaking her head.
"Not dead." Ren corrected gesturing to Nora.
"Right! Not dead." Pyrrha hastily corrected herself.
"No one" by Trocadero starts playing as the credits roll... annd guess what? The credits are blurred out again.
"Ugh! Well it's the finale but come on! I'm so tired of the credits being blurred out I want to know who made this show!" Weiss yelled.
"I know! I think I said this last time but this is the one time I actually want to read the credits." Nora complained.
"Yeah." Yang sighed. "Nice beat though."
"It sounds like elevator music." Ruby grumbled.
"Where is the one that will mourn me when I'm gone"
"It sounds like every song so far has been made by the same band." Jaune commented.
"I don't like the songs, not my style." Yang commented. Everyone else nodded except Jaune.
"I kind of like them." Jaune blushed.
" Who will pour water on my bed of dirt Who will breathe fire on my neck at night"
"Sounds like a love song." Weiss commented.
"Ugh! The worst kind of song!" Nora yelled.
Ruby nodded.
Jaune, Weiss, Pyrrha, and Blake blushed, they liked love songs.
"I heard someone say there's a chance that I will meet her
I could be Persephone and she Demeter"
"Who?" Ruby asked. Everyone just shrugged.
" Pull me from the underground that I call home"
" Her name is no one, No one No one"
Jaune sighed, "I think I'm understanding the lyrics here. He's looking for a girl and realizes he can't find her. So her name is no one."
Weiss nodded, "I'm getting that same meaning as well."
"That's kind of depressing." Ruby commented.
Jaune and Weiss nodded.
"She blinds me with her eyes 'cause she's The one The one
She lives somewhere not here Not here
Not here"
"My lovers are as smooth As a politician's tongue
The more I look for goodness The more that I find none"
"Hmm? Don't understand that line." Jaune commented.
"Me neither, but I understand the bit about politicians tongue and finding no goodness but I don't understand how it relates to the song." Weiss commented.
"You two know a lot about music." Pyrrha commented. The two shrugged.
" I heard someone say
That she's honest and good Heard someone say
That she's honest and good Heard someone say
That she's honest and good"
"Hmm heard someone say that the perfect girl is honest and good." Jaune commented. "Deeper meaning?"
Weiss shrugged.
" Her name is no one No one
No one
Her name is no one No one
No one No one No one No one No one"
"There is always one." Pyrrha commented, "always one for someone."
Weiss and Jaune stayed silent, they both understood the song and how it felt.
" Her name is no one, No one
No one
She blinds me with her eyes 'cause she's The one
The one
She lives somewhere not here Not here
Not here Not here!
Not heeeerrreeee!"
"Ohh getting louder me likey." Yang commented.
"I measure out my days
With sips of a corona
I'm pretty sure she drives An old fucked up corolla
To pull me from the underground That I call home"
"I don't understand the underground part." Weiss commented.
"I think it's a metaphor for his loneliness." Jaune explained. Weiss nodded.
" I've a funny feeling
There's no chance that I will meet her So I'll measure out my nights
To my metronome's meter"
" Her name is no one Her name is no one Her name is no one"
"That was the best song they've had so far." Jaune commented. "Sad but it sounded upbeat until you listened to the words."
Weiss nodded. "My favorite so far too."
"I loved season two's ending song." Yang commented. "Well not loved but it was the best."
Ruby and Blake nodded agreeing.
"Red vs Blue season 4" appeared on the screen in big block letters.
"The Blood Gulch Chronicles" appeared below it.
"Well that was Season four." Yang said simply.
"It was awesome! The funniest so far." Ruby said laughing.
"I don't know, some of the episodes were too short for my liking." Weiss commented. "Like season one."
"I loved how crazy it got this season, but not too crazy. It had a great mix and I loved how it subverted my expectations." Blake smiled.
"I liked the Fairy tale part of it, and the twist on the quest." Ruby laughed.
"It didn't really feel like a new season though." Blake commented, "It picked up right where season three let off."
"I think they did it in a good way." Jaune smiled.
"I can't wait to watch season five tomorrow, but I also can't wait to win and become Queeeeeeen Yannng!" Yang shouted raising her fist.
"Oh you're on sister!" Nora shouted. "I will become queen of the castle!"
"I highly doubt that." Weiss smirked.
"Ok guys! I already planned out a second in command competition but now since we're doing this we just need to make a few modifications. It's one o'clock right now so I think we can set everything up by four!" Ruby shouted pulling out the binder she totally didn't steal from Weiss last semester.
"You still have my binder!" Weiss shouted.
"Ah ah ah! My binder see?" Ruby said holding it up and showing Weiss the 'Best Day Ever Activities' written below 'Vytal Festival Activities Property of Weiss Schnee'
Weiss just huffed.
"You three should wait here and prepare." Pyrrha suggested standing up.
"That would be Wise." Ren added. "Remember Obstacle Course, Talent contest, Question and Answer session, and finally, evening wear competition."
All three contestants nodded with determination.
"You have three hours to prepare! We will call you down to... wherever we set up the obstacle course when we're ready." Ruby explained.
"Yeah... and Ruby? You still need to explain everything to us because it was last minute." Pyrrha explained.
Ruby blushed and nodded.
3 hours later: Beacon Cliffs
"Welcome! Welcome! Welcome!" Ruby yelled. "Welcome to the first and uhh last ever Toon Tournament!"
It was still a bright and sunny day in Vale. Everyone was outside in their regular combat gear.
Weiss stood disinterested while Yang and Nora beamed and couldn't stay still in anticipation.
Ruby smiled and continued, "We are gathered here today to decide who will be the leader of Toon RAINBOW!"
Ruby stood in the middle of her four friends, Pyrrha and Jaune on one side, with Blake and Ren on the other.
"After much talk and planning-" Ren started.
"You guys spent only three hours working on this." Weiss pointed out.
Ren ignored her. "We have decided on how everything will run. First the Obstacle course." Ren explained.
Jaune picked up where Ren left off. "We didn't have much to make an obstacle course however With special permission from Ozpin we have four obstacles in what we have decided to call. Death Run!" Jaune shouted.
"As you can see we are on the Cliffs of Beacon. But a very special part! This is where we were launched into the Emerald forest!" Ruby explained.
"Which brings us to our first obstacle." Jaune continued. "With special permission from Ozpin we all have permission to operate the launch pads before you." Jaune said gesturing to the line of Launch pads.
"This is basically a makeshift obstacle course." Blake said in a monotone bored voice. "Firsts you run across the launch pads and stay in the lines Ruby dug in with her scythe around the pads see?" Blake asked pointing to the lines.
"After running across all the pads and not being launched you will make it to the next obstacle, the floating lockers!" Ruby yelled.
Pyrrha laughed, "The floating lockers are just all of our lockers in hover mode."
"Like I said, makeshift." Blake said. "Originally we were going to launch the lockers at you but... they would probably break through your aura."
"After that you all jump across the floating lockers you will have to Run the... however many miles it is from the cliffs and back to the front of the school directly below team RWBY's dorm." Jaune explained.
"Which brings you back to the final obstacle! The climb! Remember when Sun and Neptune climbed up to our window?" Ruby asked.
Weiss growled, "Yes, and if I didn't know any better I would say they were creeps but... they're just idiots."
Blake laughed. "Yeah so basically just climb into our dorm and you win."
"All three of you will start at the same time and the first person to make it wins!" Ruby shouted.
Yang and Nora cheered.
"The rules are simple, no attacking each other, no sabotage-" Jaune started.
"Awwww!" Nor groaned.
"-and once you get to the school no using your weapons." Jaune finished.
"All right!" Ruby yelled. "Are you ready?" All three potential queens nodded.
"Ok! On your mark!" Ruby shouted. All three got in their stances.
"Get set!"
All three crouched lower to the ground. "GO!"
Nora shouted with glee and charged forward as fast as she could. Blake smirked and tapped a button on her scroll.
As soon as Nora stepped on the first launch pad it launched her into the forest.
"NOOOOOOOOOO!" She shouted as she unfolded Magnhild into it's hammer form.
"... so who's next?" Blake asked laughing.
Yang growled and cocked her gauntlets. She charged forward, at each step the pads shot up just seconds late. Until Ren smartly hit the pad ahead of Yang. But Yang had expected it, Yang got launched and using her Ember Celica she launched herself back onto the cliffs, and made it across to the hovering lockers. The lockers moved up and down slowly, scorching the ground below them.
Yang confidently started jumping across them.
Weiss however was still making her way across the Launch pads. She was taking her sweet time which did stop her from getting launched, but Yang still had a great head start.
Nora was still falling through the air but using her hammer she used a Ruby tactic and was shooting herself back up to the cliffs.
All five judges stood by and watched in amazement. "You did well Ruby." Pyrrha complimented.
"Aww thanks!" Ruby grinned.
Yang ungracefully tripped off the last locker and almost face planted into the ground as Weiss gracefully danced across the lockers. Nora made it back to the cliffs just behind Weiss and jumped across the lockers. They were possibly the three most competitive people on both teams and it showed. There was no taunting, no talking at all, just pure will power and skill working for their ego points. All three made it across the first two obstacles and started on the third, the long long run back to the dorm. Yang was in first with Nora picking up on her heels and Weiss behind both conserving her strength. However Yang and Nora had no need to conserve strength and both remained ahead of Weiss as all three made it to the dorms.
All three were surprised to find that their five judges were already back, they had ridden on the lockers... smart.
"Yeah! Go go go go! Whoever gets in our dorm first wins!" Ruby shouted.
Yang, Nora, and Weiss panting in sweat straightened up quickly and charged toward the wall of the school.
Ruby, Jaune, and Blake had to hold back their laughter as their teammates tried and failed to climb up the wall, except Nora who was already a quarter of the way up.
"Come on stupid wall!" Yang shouted.
Weiss sighed and backed up, looking for hand and footholds.
Yang however with pure determination started climbing up the walls towards her victory. Following shortly behind was Weiss.
When it was all said and done Nora was first easily, using her sloth climbing skills. Yang was second and in last place Weiss.
All three laid on the floor of the dorm sweaty and breathing heavily. "YEAH! Nora! Nora! Nora!" Nora chanted. "Queen of the castle!"
The five judges arrived shortly after, going the normal way through the door.
"Now for the second task! The Talent competition!" Ruby yelled. "I call it! Beacon's got talent!"
Thirty minutes later: Team JNPR's dorm.
All five judges sat on team JNPR's beds in a row like a normal judge panel. In front of them was a seat for their "Talent"
"Ok first up... Nora!" Ruby said to her fellow judges.
Pyrrha laughed, "This is really fun."
"I know right." Jaune laughed.
Nora walked in happily... holding five plates full of pancakes. Ren facepalmed, "Why Nora?"
Ruby ignored Ren. "Ok Nora! What is your tal... talent?"
Nora burped loudly as she dropped the now five empty plates onto the floor, luckily none broke but that's not what was amazing. Nora laid down on the floor with a huge potbelly and a stupid grin on her face.
All five judges stared at her in shock.
"Ok uhh, thanks Nora." Jaune said. "You- you can go now, tell Yang to come in, in a minute."
Nora nodded and saluted them before walking out. As soon as the door closed Jaune turned to Ren.
"Ren! How did she do that?" Jaune asked. Ren just shook his head. "Nora is talented."
"That wasn't talent, that was a freak of nature I mean I didn't even see her eat any of it! Ruby was mid sentence!" Jauen shouted. Ren just shrugged again. "For a while I thought it was her semblance until the electricity."
Pyrrha and Blake just chuckled as Yang walked.
"Ok Yang! What's your talent?" Ruby asked.
"... uhhhh I don't really have one." Yang shrugged, "I mean I'm good at kicking ass but..can't really do that in here."
"... Disqualified!" Ruby yelled.
As Yang walked out Weiss walked in nervously. "All right Weiss! What's your talent?" Ruby asked.
"Uhh... Singing." Weiss mumbled.
All of them perked up at that.
"I uhh, spent the last thirty minutes learning that song from the finale." Weiss explained.
"Well go ahead." Ren said smiling.
Weiss took a deep breath, and sung. All five judges sat in silence as Weiss sang "No One" in her beautiful voice. She was incredible, way way waaaayyy better than the original song. When she finished all five just sat staring at her.
"Ok Weiss wins." Ruby cheered. Pyrrha, Blake, and Ren clapped.
Weiss blushed, smiled, bowed, and left.
"Ok guys, now for the question and answer session! Is everyone ready?" Ruby asked.
Everyone nodded.
"Ok Nora again!" Ruby shouted.
Nora walked in, her gut was almost all the way gone as she sat down.
"Ok Nora, we all have one question for you from each of us then one question from all of us." Jaune explained.
Question
"A nearby town is consistently being attacked by Grimm, what is the best solution to this problem?" Ren asked.
Nora-
"Kill all the Grimm around the town for miles!" Nora answered happily.
Yang-
"Kill all the Grimm and make sure the people there can fight back." Yang answered.
Weiss-
"Deal with the immediate threat of the Grimm and then after that's finished work to make sure the people can defend themselves. But if the village is in an area with no good protection then it should be moved, and the defenses should be reassessed." Weiss answered.
Question
"what is the best way to defeat an opponent?" Pyrrha asked.
Nora-
"Hit em hard!" Nora shouted.
Yang-
"Don't get hit and hit them hard." Yang shrugged. "Also look for weaknesses."
Weiss-
"Analyze them, look for weaknesses and strengths. Play their weaknesses and avoid their strengths. Listen to your teams advice." Weiss said looking to Ruby. "And be smart."
Question
"How would you convince someone to fight against long odds when they don't believe they can win?" Jaune asked.
Nora-
"Beat some sense into them! Show them that they can win if they do their very best!" Nora shouted happily.
Yang-
"Figure out what's wrong and comfort them, remind them why they fight, and show them that we can win." Yang answered.
Weiss-
"Hmm, Show them all our advantages and tell them they can do it?" Weiss said in an asking tone as if she wasn't sure.
Question
"how do you settle a dispute between two people arguing?" Blake asked.
Nora-
"Knock some sense into both of them." Nora smiled.
Yang-
"Shut them both up and remind them that whatever they're arguing about isn't a big deal." Yang shrugged.
Weiss-
"Look at both sides and either pick the side that's right or find a compromise that helps both sides and doesn't hurt either too much." Weiss answered.
Question
"Why do you fight?" Ruby asked.
Nora -
"Well, I fight because I want to help people... and it's fun! Fighting Grimm is amazing, beating them up." Nora smiled, before frowning. "I want to help villages specifically, I want to make sure every little village has a chance to survive, that is why I fight." Nora answered determined. Ren smiled at her and gave her a reassuring look.
Yang-
"Well, I already said this remember? With Oobleck? I fight because I want the adventure. I just go with the flow being a huntress and I fight to defend myself and others I find on my path." Yang explained.
Weiss-
"I fight because I want to redeem my families name. I need to make things right, My father has done horrible things, and after Blake told me about Adam's branding I realize. It's a lot worse than I thought. I fight and will continue to fight to honor my family's name. And right the wrongs my father has done. And I will do that in any way I can, but I will do it the right way. I will not be like him, the ends do not justify the means. My father will do anything to further the company and gain power. I will do everything I can to change that, and I will do it in a way that reflects the true Schnee name." Weiss answered confidently.
Question
"Ok now for the question from all of us. Why are we here?" Jaune asked.
Nora-
"We are here to fight Grimm and save people!" Nora yelled.
Yang-
"I don't know why we're here, and to be honest? I don't care. I just go with the flow, so uhh I guess I don't really have an answer." Yang shrugged.
Weiss-
"We are here because... we are here because we want to be Huntresses and Huntsmen. We are here to defend the weak." Weiss answered.
After everyone answered their questions it was time for the final competition. The evening wear competition. All five judges stood in Team JNPR's dorm and waited for the three to come in. So far it was anyone's game, kind of. There was one they had all pretty much decided wouldn't be Queen of them. So it was just between two participants.
Nora walked in first, she was just wearing the dress she wore for the Dance. Ren smiled but the others were unimpressed.
Yang walked in next, her dress looked really really familiar.
"Hey Yang? Where did you get that dress?" Jaune asked, his voice shaking.
Yang laughed, "Yeah you get it right? I'm cosplaying as Jaune!" Yang did a little twirl.
Ruby, Jaune, and Pyrrha laughed. "That's amazing Yang!" Ruby laughed.
Yang shrugged. "I wanted to look better than Jaune in it. And that's no easy task."
Yang was wearing Jaune's dress and working it!
"Ok now for Weiss." Ruby smiled.
Weiss walked in wearing something none of them had seen before. It was incredible, a fancy dress with... {I suck at clothes descriptions its her Vol 6 outfit}
"Wow Weiss! You would beat me except I made them laugh." Yang smirked.
"You said you were cosplaying so technically that's not evening wear that's a costume!" Weiss shouted.
Yang growled and glared at Weiss.
"Ok! I think we are ready to declare the winner!" Ruby shouted to stop the two from fighting.
All three straightened up.
"After careful consideration we have decided that... WEISS WINS!" Ruby shouted.
All five cheered or clapped, Yang sighed while Nora huffed but smiled when Ren was ready with pancakes.
"Weiss wins because for one, she was careful on the obstacle course, while Yang won, Weiss was more strategic about it." Pyrrha explained.
"Also her singing was incredible." Jaune added.
"And her answers reflected those of a great leader." Ren explained.
"And finally... the evening wear didn't matter at all we just thought that Queens should dress the part." Ruby smiled.
Yang groaned. "What? You're such a hypocrite Ruby you hate dresses but are fine with forcing us to wear one?"
"Yep." Ruby said popping the P. Yang sighed but smiled.
Weiss was grinning too, Ruby ran over and hugged her.
Nora huffed, "I'm still queen of the castle but All hail Queen Weiss!"
"All Hail queen Weiss." The rest chorused almost jokingly.
Weiss laughed and smiled "Thank you, all of you."
"Yeah! Go Ice Queen " Yang shouted.
All seven laughed as Weiss scowled, but after a second she smiled.
"You know what? I like it." Weiss smirked at their shocked expressions. "Ice Queen"
"All Hail Ice Queen Weiss!"
I wonder if anyone caught the Halo 3 reference. "Tank beats everything!" I've played Halo 3 so many times that I remember that line from the Arc mission. When you get the tanks and kill the hunters.
So what did you all think of the Competition? And would you want me to do something like that again in the future? Only if it comes up naturally while they're watching the show and probably won't be a contest. Thanks for reading!