Author's Note:
In response to a guest reviewer: Yeah no shit, I know what a purple heart is but the RWBY characters don't!
If you are a troll then bravo good sir because as soon as I read your stupid comment I got mad.
Cover Art: Cruz7808
Review, point out mistakes, and flame.
Story got deleted on FFN, should be up on Quotev, and Archive too. Get's posted on Wattpad first.
S3E57- The Storm
"The Storm" appeared on the screen with the theme music.
Everyone hummed the theme again.
"The Storm" Ren said reading the title aloud.
"Think this is the finale?" Yang asked everyone.
"Maybe, it's been what? 18, 19 episodes?" Weiss asked.
"Yeah, around that." Blake said.
Fade in to the fan in front of the base, which the Robot Army (eventually) walks past
Robot Army: "Charge."
O'Malley: "Hu hu hoh, for God's sake. Will you hurry up! Lopez, I'm disappointed in your work. These minions are much too slow."
"I agree, my legs are itching to run just looking at them!" Ruby said loudly.
"Calm down there Rubes." Yang advised.
Lopez: "Creo que esta moviéndro muy bien."
Caption: I think they are moving along nicely.
O'Malley: "You fool! You don't even have legs, and you still got up here faster than them!"
"Why didn't Lopez make himself a body?" Nora asked.
"The real question is, how is he moving and how did he make those robots?" Weiss asked.
Yang did the Jazz hands motion, " magic!"
Lopez: "Usted es los cerebros en esta operación. Yo no mas soy el músculo."
Caption: Hey, you're the brains in this operation. I'm just the brawn.
"I'm the same way." Yang commented while flexing.
"I'm the brains." Ruby said happily gesturing to herself with her thumb.
Jaune laughed, "so am I."
Nora flexed with Yang, "I'm definitely the brawn on our team." Yang and Nora tried to one up each other with their flexing.
"Mines bigger!" Nora yelled.
"Mines harder!" Yang shot back.
"Mine's a lot more veiny!" Nora pointed out.
"Look I can make mine move!" Yang yelled flexing.
Blake couldn't tell if they were doing it intentionally or if it was purely by accident but she was on the floor rolling with laughter.
"Ladies ladies! Both of your muscles look great." Jaune yelled standing up trying to defuse the situation before they switched to abs. Both stood still and glared at each other for a second before laughing and sitting down.
Doc: "They may be slow, but their posture is excellent!"
O'Malley: "Huhhg..."
Doc: "A for effort, Lopez!"
Cut to Sarge with Grif, Donut, and Simmons.
Sarge: "I think they're distracted. Let's use this chance to slip away."
Simmons: "Great idea, Sir. I have a lock on the distress signal. We can head right for it."
Sarge: "Good thinking Simmons. Everybody in the jeep."
Simmons: "Shotgun!"
Grif: "Shotgun! Fuck."
Yang and Ruby laughed remembering their arguments in the car with their dad.
Donut: "Shotgun's lap!"
Simmons: "Fuck!"
Yang and Blake laughed even harder.
Sarge: "There's just no room for four people. Someone will have to jog alongside. Grif?"
Grif: " Jog? What's that?"
"What! He doesn't know what jogging is!" Ruby said offended.
"That's... surprising." Pyrrha gasped.
Simmons: "It's like running slowly, dear God you don't know what jogging means?"
Grif: "Yeah, you lost me at running. Sorry, it's not in my contract."
"My thoughts exactly." Yang commented.
"I thought you liked running?" Ruby said confused.
"What gave you that idea?" Yang asked raising an eyebrow.
"Well, back home you used to always go on afternoon runs." Ruby pointed out.
Yang laughed, "Yeah? to stay fit."
Donut: "Oh, don't worry, I'll do it. Just give me one second while I put my jogging shorts on."
Grif: "Wait. I wanna reconsider."
Donut: "Who wants to hold my ankles while I stretch out my hammies?"
Sarge: "Noone's fallin' for that twice, Donut."
Cut to Tex peering out a window at the Robot Army
Tex: "Alright, I think I can take 'em. I just need a better weapon." She said staring at Tucker's sword.
"I would never let anyone else touch that sword if I had it." Jaune commented.
"Oh yeah." Weiss said pulling out her scroll. "Winter says the scientists have made a breakthrough using hard light Dust."
Jaune smiled, "That's great!"
Tucker: "Want me to help you find one?"
Tex: "Mm, why don't you just give me your sword?"
Tucker: "No way, I can see right through your little ploy. You just want me to give you the sword."
"Wasn't much of a ploy." Blake commented.
Tex: "That's what I just said."
Tucker: "Yeah, but it's the way you said it."
Tex: "You know, it's a good thing that that sword doesn't run on brainpower. Oh my God, Tucker, look! Hot chicks."
Weiss and Blake laughed at the brainpower joke.
"He can't really be that dense and fall for that." Pyrrha commented.
Tucker: "Nice try, you just want me to turn around so you can knock me out and take the sword."
Pyrrha sighed with relief.
Tex: "Now the hot girls are makin' out."
Tucker: "Okay, that's worth the risk. (turns around) Eauhw, crap."
Pyrrha groaned.
"Do guys really like that, that much?" Ruby asked looking to Jaune and Ren.
Ren remained calm but Jaune blushed, luckily Yang ran to his rescue... sort of.
"Yeah guys love that stuff." Yang laughed. "Imagine it, two things you absolutely love! Having sex with each other."
Ruby groaned, "Yaaaaanng! She just said making out!"
"So? Guys love that too. And Girls are no different." Yang explained.
Blake blushed especially red when she glanced over to her porn book stash. "Seamen's Adventures" was neatly tucked away so no one else could see.
Tex hits Tucker from behind and knocks him out, just like she planned
Cut to Caboose talking with Andy... the bomb
Caboose: "Just stay calm Andy... everything will be fine."
Andy: "I'm okay, really. I like explosions. You on the other hand look a little nervous."
Caboose: "You know, I always get a little nervous during battles.... I think it's 'cause we never win."
Pyrrha smiled, "Being nervous before a battle is normal." Everyone nodded except Yang and Nora.
Andy: "Eh, don't sweat it. If they get in the base, I'll just explode and kill everybody."
Caboose: "Wouldn't that kill us too... Andy?"
"Everybody." Weiss repeated.
Andy: "Hey. You can't make an omelette without blowin' up a few eggs."
Caboose: "... I like eggs."
"Me too, REN!" Nora yelled. "Can I have some eggs pretty please?" Nora asked with begging eyes.
Ren smiled, "After this season."
Andy: "Me too."
Cut to Church talking to Gamma
Church: "Gary, is it possible that the Great Destroyer could be an entire army of people?"
Gamma: "no, the great destroyer is a single person who will come to claim the great weapon."
"So it's Tucker." Ren surmised.
"No way it's him." Yang said making a 'no way' gesture.
Church: "Yeah, that's great."
Gamma: "prepare, one and all. the fulfillment of the great prophecy is at hand."
Church: "So you have no good news for me today."
Gamma: "orange you glad i didn't say banana?"
Yang was already laughing hysterically. Everyone in the room sighed or groaned.
Cut to the Reds' jeep careening under bare minimum control down a really gradual slope behind a robot
"Wow they suck at driving." Yang commented when they slammed into a large metal thing.
Sarge: "Let's go men."
Grif: "One of them's following us."
Sarge: "We're going too slow. We have to leave someone behind."
Grif: "Not it."
Simmons: "Not it."
Donut: "What? No way! You're leaving me behind?"
"He didn't say not it fast enough." Ruby shrugged.
Sarge: "Sorry Donut, but military law is very clear in regard to the "not it" methodology for making decisions."
"I am pretty sure that's not a real military law." Weiss said sarcastically.
Donut: "Aw man, there's still so much about the army I don't understand."
Grif: "Here he comes!"
"He's so slow it won't matter." Ruby said.
Sarge: "Donut, you hide here and wait for the guy tailing us. Then when he passes, shoot him square in the back and watch him die. Just like John Wayne would have done."
"It's four on one, and that Robot isn't Pyrrha they can easily take him!" Nora shouted.
Pyrrha blushed, "Thank you Nora."
"No problem Pyr!"
Grif: "Hurry up guys, he's getting closer! No wait, no he, yeah he is getting closer. No, yes!"
Donut: "All this retreating, and shooting people in the back, doesn't sound very noble."
"It's not." Jaune said thinking of Roman.
Sarge: "We're not retreating, we're advancing! Towards future victory!"
Yang laughed. "That's an amazing excuse!"
Blake laughed too, "I guess that should be my new catchphrase." Blake joked, she had long gotten past how she ran away from everything ever since her talk with Yang and Weiss at Mountain Glenn.
Donut: "How'm I gonna find you guys?"
Simmons: "Just follow the distress signal to its source, you'll find us there."
"That's a good plan, other than Donut just sitting on one of their laps." Blake commented.
"Yeah I'm sure with helmets like that he has some way to track the distress signal." Weiss said.
Donut: "But I don't have a way to track it!"
"Never mind." Weiss sighed.
Sarge: "... Excellent point Donut."
The jeep drives off, carrying Sarge, Grif and Simmons with it and leaving Donut behind.
"Mean." Ruby commented.
Donut: "Thank you Sir. Ohh... (sigh) (lip smacking sounds as he watches the robot painfully slowly advance) (that "I'm waiting..." kind of humming) Uhh, God. Well, I've got some time."
Cut to the robot army shooting one at a time at... something
Robot 4: "Attack."
Robot 1: "Attack."
Robot 3: "Attack."
"This Robot army sucks." Yang commented.
"I'm glad the Atlesian Knights aren't this bad." Weiss said sighing in relief.
O'Malley: "(evil laugh) Fastar! Fastar! Pathetic. Lopez! How do I say faster in Spanish?"
Ren got out his notepad.
Lopez: "Como dice socero, socero. Socero socero socero, cerocero."
"That is really long for one phrase?" Ren mumbled to himself.
O'Malley: "Yes... So okay... What? Okay, got it."
O'Malley: "Huhuh, soy un pendejo púrpuras que gusta tomar aceite."
Caption: Hey everyone! I am a purple jerk and I love to drink motor oil.
Ren sighed as he scribbled out his notes, The others laughed.
O'Malley: "That was rather looong to mean hurry up."
Lopez: "Es una lengua muy poética."
Caption: It's a very poetic language.
"That is true." Ren commented.
Donut: "(arriving behind a rock or something) Oh man, it's that creepy dude! I wonder why he's insulting himself."
Donut: "Qué curioso."
Caption: How strange.
"He speaks Spanish?!" Blake said surprised.
"So someone can translate." Yang said.
"I wonder why he hasn't." Ruby said scratching her chin as if a beard was there, in a thinking manner.
Donut: "Ooh, the motorcycle!"
Donut said looking at the Ghost.
"That looks nothing like a motorcycle." Yang commented with her arms crossed.
O'Malley: "Mi cola es muy grande. Y mi gusta frotar mi cola. Y quiero oler mi cola e también besar, a mi cola."
Caption: My butt is very big. And I like to rub my own butt. And I like to sniff my own butt and kiss my own butt.
Ren seriously debated if he wanted to write any of that down... he did.
O'Malley: "Are you sure cola means evil?"
Lopez: "Jefe, alguien está robandro su vehículo."
Caption: Hey boss, someone is stealing your vehicle.
O'Malley: "Ueuh, drat! I only had two payments left!"
Yang laughed at the payment joke remembering her nightmare trying to pay for hers.
Lopez: "¿Tiene aseguran da?"
Caption: Do you have insurance on it?
O'Malley: "Of course not. It's a scam."
Lopez: "¿Por que? Vivimos en un barrio muy mal."
Caption: Why not? We live in a bad neighborhood.
"You always need insurance." Pyrrha advised.
O'Malley: "Of course we live in a bad neighborhood. We're evil doers! We're what makes the neighborhood bad."
Cut to Church looking down at Tucker.
Church: "Whoa, Tucker, are you okay?"
Tucker: "Uhhhh, mmm, ah damn. Okay, new rule. We start rotating knockouts. Next time, it's your turn."
Yang and Nora laughed.
Church: "Hey good idea. And next time Caboose decides he wants to go around team killing, you can take that one."
Everyone laughed at that one.
Tucker: "Maybe we should all stick to what we know best."
Church: "Hey, where's your weapon?"
Tucker: "Do you think she knocked me out for fun? This isn't Tuesday dude, she took it!"
"Wow Tex is mean." Ruby commented amazed.
Yang smiled, "yep I like her!"
Church: "Oh man, this is not gonna be good."
Cut to the shadowing form of the Elite walking to the edge of a cliff overlooking the robot army
"Well here comes Tex to kick ass." Yang said smiling in anticipation.
"Hmm, that shadow looks strange." Ren mumbled to himself.
Robot 7: "Attack."
A plasma grenade lands on the middle robot
Yang laughed and clapped her hands together. Ruby jumped in excitement.
Robot 4: "Un arañ-"
Caption: Hey! A spid-
Jaune laughed at the callback joke.
The grenade explodes, with the expected result
O'Malley: "What was that!?"
Doc: "Uh oh."
More plasma grenades take out the rest of the robot army. cut to Gamma
"What a badass!" Yang yelled. Pyrrha laughed and smiled.
Gamma: "the great destroyer has arrived. the end is near. the great destroyer has arrived. the end is near."
"So Tex is the great destroyer, that makes sense." Jaune said.
"The base is about to get destroyed too, remember the prophecy." Ren warned.
Cut to O'Malley and Lopez hiding behind rocks
O'Malley: "Lopez, do you see anything?"
Lopez: "No, mas robotesas muertas. Mi ejército hermosa destruyó."
Caption: No, just dead robots everywhere. My beautiful robot army destroyed.
"That's actually kind of sad." Pyrrha commented.
O'Malley: "I'm going to sneak around the side. Let me know if you see anything. Lopez. Lopez! Lopez! (turns around to see the shadowing figure of the Elite approaching) Ho no!
Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!"
O'Malley shoots fruitlessly at the Alien but nothing happens.
"Tex is scary." Ruby mumbled.
"Hmm, maybe the shadows are messed up." Ren mumbled to himself again.
Cut to Simmons leading the Reds through a cave
Simmons: "Just a little further guys."
Sarge: "You stole that thing all by yourself?"
Donut: "Yep, and then I ran over the guy that was chasing us. And a few other innocent pedestrians."
"Hopefully he means other robots." Pyrrha commented.
Sarge: "I'm so proud of you."
Donut: "Hyeah, stealing and killing are a huge rush. I wish I'd started at a much younger age. I caught the fever!"
"Sounds like Roman Torchwick's Mentality." Blake commented.
Jaune sighed remembering how nonchalantly Roman was when he got arrested by Atlas.
Simmons: "Okay, the source of the distress signal is right outside this crap!"
Grif: "Noooooooooooooooooooohohohooooooooooooo!"
The camera moves back in stages to reveal they're back in that fucking canyon again
Everyone burst out laughing and then cheered.
"Yes! They're back in Blood Gulch!" Nora cheered.
"Grif must be soooo happy." Yang joked.
Grif: "This sucks."
More laughter.
Cut to Church and Tucker surveying the robot army carnage
Church: "Wow. She really did a lot of damage."
"Yeaheh she did." Yang said biting her lip.
Tucker: "Are you surprised?"
Church: "No, not really, I guess not."
Tucker: "I'll tell you what, it's days like today, I'm really glad she's on our side."
Tex: "Who's on our side? Whoa! Who killed all the robots?"
Yang's face fell, "huh?" Everyone gasped.
Church: "You did."
Tex: "No I didn't."
"What?!" Ruby yelled.
"I knew that shadow looked strange." Ren said happily.
Church: "What?"
Tex: "I've been downstairs, trying to figure out how to turn this sword on."
"That's depressing." Yang grumbled as she slumped into her seat.
Church: "Wait a second. (runs off)"
Tucker: "Just push the power button."
Tex: "I did, that didn't work."
"Hmmm?" Ren hummed.
Tucker: "Yeah, that's surprising."
Cut to Church and Gamma
Gamma: "the end is near. the great destroyer has arrived. the end is near. the great destroyer has arrived. the end is near. the great destroyer has arrived. the end is near. the great destroyer has arrived. (continues as Church talks)"
Church: "Oh come on Gary Gary Gary, stop stop stop. Hey if Tex is not the destroyer from the prophecy, then who is?"
Everyone leaned forward.
Gamma: "..."
Church: "Gary?"
Gamma: "knock knock."
Cut to a shot of Church, with an alien sneaking up on him
Church: "Who's there?"
"What the FUCK! Is that!" Yang screamed horrified.
"Ohhh so gross!" Ruby yelled.
"It's an Alien!" Jaune pointed out.
"Another species." Blake mumbled to herself. "Looks weird."
"The stupidest being in the entire universe colored blue, it all makes sense. That weapon is clearly alien, that Alien was supposed to take the sword but Tucker did instead." Ren said amazed that he figured everything out.
"Why did it have four sets of teeth!" Yang yelled.
"It looks like a squid!" Nora yelled.
The screen faded to black.
"Alien Champion" started playing as the blurred out credits started to roll.
"The end of season 3." Pyrrha pointed out.
"And we still get blurred out credits!" Yang complained.
"At least we get to listen to a song." Jaune said trying to point out the Bright side.
"I have yet to hear one I like." Yang explained.
"Everybody will want words from you
And you're the one who couldn't talk They will want promises from you
That you will and you will not"
The song continued to play with guitar strings and hums in between the verses.
"Everybody will want words from you And you're the one who couldn't talk They will want promises from you That you will and you will not"
"I liked last season's outro song more." Jaune commented.
"I liked the multiple voices joined in harmony for this one." Weiss said humming the song.
"I wish it was Rock pop." Ruby sighed crossing her arms.
"Red Vs Blue season 3" appeared in big block letters. " The Blood Gulch Chronicles" appeared below it.
"Strange, last season that appeared before the song." Ren commented.
Yang just grunted in confirmation.
"That was a good season." Weiss commented. "The best so far, I admit I had and still have problems with the time travel but the comedy, and information made up for it." Weiss said smiling about the Solar power discovery.
"I loved this season's jokes." Yang said. "Especially the puns."
"I loved the hidden jokes and subtle dark themes and conspiracy aspect." Blake said. "I still hate that the whole Vic storyline doesn't matter at all anymore."
Weiss sighed, "me too."
"I loved this season!" Ruby yelled enthusiastically. "It's still so funny."
"That twist and cliff hanger at the end was incredible." Ren commented. "I was genuinely surprised with this season."
"I loved the improvement in looks from last season to this season, and I liked the character development however small it was." Pyrrha said giving her opinion.
"I completely forgot about the graphics change!" Weiss said laughing.
"I just can't stop thinking about that sword, I love Crocea Mors but It's never felt natural in my hand." Jaune explained.
"You're still improving Jaune." Pyrrha reassured.
"I know, but it would be nice to have two weapons." Jaune said smiling.
"I just loved the season." Nora yelled happily. Everyone got up and stretched.
"Well the day is still ahead of us." Ren pointed out.
Ruby laughed, "Yeah! Nora lets go shopping!"
Jaune laughed too, "Yeah I have an artsy picture to take, can I borrow Velvets camera?" Jaune asked.
Ruby tossed it to him.
"After you're done with that I will have food cooked up for us." Ren said.
"I can't wait." Blake said smiling.
"I'll go help you take the picture Jaune." Pyrrha offered. Jaune gladly accepted her help.
All eight smiled and left to do their own thing, until tomorrow when they could continue watching Red vs Blue.
- Criminals SS-Not Canon
"Gross, imagine a Faunus looking like that!" Mercury said laughing.
Emerald chuckled with him. "Even the White Fang would reject them."
The two criminals laughed themselves sick. All the while Cinder was off enjoying her time away from what in her opinion was a stupid stupid show.
My pm's are open to
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-the best thing(s) about this story
-how I can fix the worst things
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-Thanks!