the knife trailed over his cheek delicately, slicing his cheek open as el watched with a weak smile. "ashes... ashes..." she whispered to himself as she turned around to face blaze.
"my dolly is fixed," she murmured, holding a hand out to him. "what shall i do?"
he bent to her, gently caressing her hair. "what do you want to do? evils need to perish,"
she nodded. "they do," she picked a blow torch and smiled from ear to ear and turned back. "dolly! i'll make you even prettier!"
his eyes widened, screaming against the cloth gagging him as el began to burn his skin like he was food. "good dolly, good dolly. i'll make you pretty again. PERISH EVIL! PERISH DEMON!"
he screamed in pain, tears streaming down his cheeks as she burned his arms and his cheeks but slowly. "shh! SHH! i can't THINK!" she slashed the knife down into his liver before huffing with frustration.
"oh no! dolly! i'm sorry, i didn't mean to!" she pulled the knife out and then held his cheek before burning his other cheek.
"shh," she slapped him across the face and continued to burn his forehead.
when he screamed in pain, she shouted at him and finished the job. "SHUT UP!" she shoved him away from her body and stood up in a hurry, heading out of the room.
"EVERYONE IS SO FUCKING ANNOYING!" she kicked the nearest wall with a huff. "XAVY, CLEAN UP!" she walked downstairs, making sure her stomps were loud as she covered her ears.
"EVIL! EVIL!"
she broke down into small cries, dropping to her knees as she sat on the wooden ground. "evils...." she whispered to herself, scratching her sharp nails over her bumpy skin, irritating her cuts even more.
"no one gets me..." she began to look around, tears clouding her vision. "i'm alone,"
she placed her palms on her cheeks, pulling down as she ran her nails down her face. "perish evils, perish. demon thoughts..." her eyes closed, feeling her mascara running down her cheeks.
"please go... everyone goes but you don't... i just want you to,"
✿
"el, that's enough. get off," dante told her, grabbing her arm as he attempted to pull her off the scale.
she shoved him away. "fuck OFF!" she screamed at him and watched the numbers.
"el, i won't ask you again. get off, now."
she turned back, blinking as tears formed before she got down from the scale. "why?"
he opened his arms and she took one step and into his arms, breaking down into gasping cries. "i feel like i'm going to die," her breath shuddered. "do you hear that? do you? everyone's watching. they're here. they're watching. i'm going to die. i'm going to suffocate. dante, i'm going to die. demons. evil. they're here. they're here. you don't get it. you don't get me. i cant do this. i cant." she began to ramble, panic and fear bubbling as she looked around, eyes scanning their shared bathroom.
"watching. the demons are watching,"
"no, they aren't." he gently rubbed her back. "take a deep breath, piccolo."
she shook her head. "i feel like i'm losing it. my mind is— it's scrambled. no one understands— i don't want to be here. i don't want any of this anymore. i cant be here," she sobbed, her eyes falling shut as the pain overtook her body. "i can't do this. i cant, i cant, i—"
"stop that. you can. you will suck it up, el. do not second guess yourself because you can do this. do you hear me!?"
she shook her head repeatedly. "i hate you, i hate you. i hate you so much, i should've jumped off that train. i should've. I HATE YOU!" she began to squirm in his hold but he held her still, stopping her from covering her ears.
"STOP IT!" she tried to pull back as she broke into a million pieces.
he ignored her, holding her wrists as she sobbed furiously. "i hate myself so fucking much, dante. you don't get it. why didn't you let me jump off? you didn't even know— you didn't—"
"we've been through this," he murmured gently, knowing her memory was poor.
she calmed a little, gazing down to the ground. "i wish i had gone," her voice cracked and her shoulders slumped, her voice vulnerable. "i really wish i had gone from the start,"
she looked up. "this world... it'll never understand. it doesn't deserve me, i don't deserve it."
"it'll never understand so make it,"
"i'll always be a devil in their eyes..." she turned away. "always a bad dolly... never good."
her eyes closed and when his grip loosened a little, she covered her ears. "shut up, shut up."
"christ eleanor, i can see the rolls on your stomach."
"my god, you're so stupid, i'd rather have birthed a cow than you,"
"can you ever sit up straight? what in the world is wrong with you?"
"do you want another beating? is that what you need to get that brain of yours to work?"
"EL! EL!" dante exclaimed, shaking her as her eyes widened with a gasp.
frozen, she looked around with fear filling her eyes. "i..."
"let's get you to bed," he murmured and she nodded weakly. "bed... i like bed..."
instantly, he led her back to her room, tucking her in as she murmured words to herself, shaking as she curled up.
"let me get you your meds," he whispered to her, searching through her drawers, cursing to himself when he realised it was outside on the counter.
"no meds... meds... meds bad," she whispered, eyes closing a she bit down on her fingers, wishing for blood to draw.
he held out a hand, unwrapping her hand. "meds are good. it'll control everything,"
she shook her head repeatedly. "no, no, no. don't want. don't want to be here. no. no. don't want. don't want,"
"it's okay, hey it's okay. el, the evil awaits. you must get rid of it,"
her eyes widened and stilled. "yes... evil go. i must get rid of the evil. evil perish."
"that's right, you must make the world a better place,"
she nodded in agreement. "yes... yes. get rid of the evil. i must. i must get revenge. avenge. get rid of evil. get rid of it and then i go. i must, i must,"
he smiled gently but sadly. "that's right... you must," he murmured, knowing this was the only thing that was keeping her going.
she blinked tiredly, grasping onto the comforter. "i must..." she rubbed her eyes and he smiled and reached out to her, brushing her hair. "deep breath, close your eyes. sleep,"
she pouted a little. "where's damien? where did they go?"
he waited a beat, glancing at the door before back over at her. "they said they were going to the store... they'll be back later when you wake. don't worry,"
she nodded slowly and then put the blanket all the way up to her chin. "evil... evil..." she chanted to herself, closing her eyes as she tightened her fist as hard as possible. "evil."
✿
"not crazy... not crazy," el hit the side of her head as she spied on mike, walking down the street after he had exited a clothing store.
she followed him but made sure to keep a distant to not be caught.
her end goal? she had no idea.
but she had the ability to find and follow him and she will do so.
she dressed as normal as she could.
two braids rested on her shoulders, a black dress on as she tried to apply her makeup as best as possible.
two spots of blush, face pale with no foundation whatsoever and loads of mascara to bring out her eyes where she drew her waterline black but messy.
street empty due to the time, she had to keep a certain distance to not be caught.
but he suddenly came to a stop and turned to her. "i swear to god,"
she pursed her lips, looking up eyes wide as she froze.
"i'll call the police," he told her but she only shrugged and stepped closer to him.
his eyes roamed over her figure, noticing how out of place she looked and how different she looked from their last encounter though it was only days ago.
"are you done following me?"
she shook her head.
"what do you want?"
she shrugged.
his eyes rolled. "you look insane because you are. do not follow me again,"
her bottom lip quivered, tears beginning to form. "why won't you remember?"
his eyebrows narrowed, stepping closer as he towered over her. "remember what? i'm certain i'd remember a lunatic like you,"
a whimper escaped her. "i'm not a LUNATIC!"
he showed no emotion. "yes, you are. you are a lunatic who has terrible stalking skills. what do you want?"
"why don't you remember?"
"i can't remember someone i don't know,"
tears slowly rolled down her cheeks. "why?" she looked down to the floor. "you were everything to me,"
he waited a second, her not seeing his reaction with her head hung low. "i doubt it..." he waited, not knowing her name.
"it's el," she whispered, her voice cracking. "please remember,"
"i don't," he shook his head and pointed to his head, a scar by his temple. "car accident. lost all memorises before 17 or 18," he shrugged.
her mouth fell open and she tried to reach up but he bent back and pulled away.
she stomped her feet, teeth clenching as her jaw headed. "THEY DID THIS TO YOU! THEY'RE EVIL! EVIL! I MUST AVENGE!" she stomped her feet repeatedly as her heart began to race.
"shush," he muttered to her as she continued, covering her ears. "EVIL! EVIL!"
he covered her mouth with his palm and turned her, her back to the wall next to them with his whole body shielding her from anyones view. "people are looking,"
she cried quietly, eyes closing. "i'm helping the world," she sobbed. "i'm a good dolly!" she shoved him back as his eyes widened at her force, how he stumbled.
"IM GOOD!" she exclaimed, shoving him once more and he almost stumbled onto the street. "i fucking doubt it. look at you. you're covered in blood, you have knifes and you look like a broken doll that has been possessed. you're certain you're not the devil?"
"i wish..." she whispered. "get rid of demons... devil good," she looked up. "lucifer? he good,"
"sure and his demons are too,"
"NO! NO!" she screamed loudly, stomping her feet. "EVIL PEOPLE! DIE!" she screamed so loudly that he questioned if glass around them broke.
putting her palms over ears, she let out a sob and shut her eyes. "EVIL!"
he pulled her arms away from her ears. "shush. you're loud,"
"I HATE YOU! YOU DON'T REMEMBER! YOU ARE LIKE THEM! YOU ARE EVIL! YOU LEAVE LIKE THEM, YOU ALL LEAVE!"
she broke down into cries, almost falling to the ground but with his grip on her wrists, she was kept up straight.
he sucked in a breath. "you're making it really hard for me,"
a whimper escaped her as she chocked on her tears. "you have to... have to remember..."
"well i can't, what do you want me to do about it?" he pulled away from her. "following me won't get you there,"
"please remember... you... you held— we—" she cried and rubbed her tears with the back of her wrist. "i won't leave you alone till you do," she stomped her feet before huffing. "you must,"
she sniffled loudly twice and shook her head. "you must, you must, you must. i will find you!" she huffed again before running away, sniffling and holding back her tears as she did so.
"i need you, dante," she whispered to herself, trying her best to run back to the house all by herself.