dante placed the eggs down on the two plates, setting it on the kitchen counter as he watched el walk out of her room.
their apartment wasn't small but it wasn't big either.
three bedrooms, a bathroom, an open kitchen and a small living room.
"dante, you left xavier, damien and blaze's." el frowned when she walked out, pointing at the plates.
"i'm on it, el. sit down," he told her and she smiled gently, a grey blanket wrapped around her as she sat down.
"so much oil," she gagged at the sight and he sighed quietly. "i tried, el. take a chance, please,"
she huffed and shook her head before turning around. "damien! tell dante his food is so oily," she scrunched up her face.
"it'll be okay, el. you don't have to be skinny,"
she pouted, shaking her head as she crossed her arms over her chest. "it's not about that," she huffed. "you don't know!"
"yes, i do, el. who's approval do you seek, vengeful one? you don't need anyones approval. you have us."
her gaze drifted down to the ground. "you didn't hear me... you don't know," she turned to dante who watched her carefully. "did you tell them? you heard me? i doubt it, dante. you can't assume,"
he caught on to what she was saying. "i didn't assume. i knew,"
she blinked, looking down at her lap. "you'd think with all the killing, i'd lose weight..." she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "my mind is scrambled. i can't think. i don't want to be here," she sniffled, her bottom lip trembling. "i can't think,"
her gaze looked up nervously and she looked around the room, finding blaze, xavier and damien. "i don't know who's me. I CANT THINK!"
"yes, you can. you're right here, you can think." dante emphasised. "no more raised voices, they don't solve anything."
"YES THEY DO! IT GETS THE POINT ACROSS!" she stood up, gathering her knifes before putting one strapped by her thigh, one by her ankle and one by her waist. "LEAVE ME ALONE! LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE! ALL OF YOU!" she stomped to the door, emphasising her footsteps before exiting the apartment.
"be back by 12 or else i'll be searching for you,"
"UGH! THIS IS WORSE THAN PRISON!" she made sure to slam the door before repeatedly slamming her hand down on the button of the elevator.
✿
she sat on a bench in the park, gaze tired as she watched people watch at her terrible makeup skills.
face pale, blush red like she was a doll with braids in.
"dolly dolly, come to mommy. come to me... dolly dolly," she whispered to herself over and over again, her fingers nervously picking on each other roughly as she tugged and pulled on them.
"dolly... dolly... demons. all demons. all evil. go away..." she looked up, looking around her nervously before her gaze spotted something.
more so, someone...
she stood, knife in hand with blood dripping from the cuts she made to her thigh, waterfalls of red streaming down her skinny legs.
she walked faster, hand trembling as her breath shook, catching up to the man that caught her gaze, not caring of the woman that was next to him.
beginning to run, she caught onto his shoulder before he left the park.
a loud gasp escaped her and her gaze scanned over him. "mike!" she wrapped her arms tightly around him as she cried. "i kn— knew it! i'm not insane! i'm not—"
"i'm sorry," he pulled back from her and she blinked at him confusion. "what..."
the woman next to him looked at her in fear and el tried to hold her hand out to touch him. "it's me... el. don't you remember?"
"we— we have to go," the woman cut into, arms around his before dragging him away nervously, leaving el confused.
"MIKE!" she shouted after him before she began to cry, dropping down to her knees. "it's me... it's me... it's me," she sobbed, covering her ears.
"SHUT UP! SHUT UP!" she hit the handle of the knife on the gravel ground before scraping the sharp side over her skin. "it's me... remember me... demons. demons! EVIL! THEY TOOK EVERYTHING FROM ME!" she stood up in a hurry and stormed off. "EVERYTHING! EVERYTHING!" she clawed on her own skin as she continued to cry, mascara smudging along with her makeup.
"EVIL!" she stomped her feet repeatedly as she arrived back at the apartment. "DANTE! DANTE!" she cried loudly, fits of sobs escaping as she banged on their front door. "blaze..."
the door barged open and dante bent to her, instantly bringing her into the house as she cried against his chest. "i saw HIM! but he— he didn't know me. HE DIDN'T! THE EVIL DID THIS!" she broke down in his hold as he hushed her, leading her to the couch and held her gently.
"it's okay... are you sure you saw him?" he asked and she nodded, hiccuping. "y— yes! but he— didn't KNOW me! what's wrong with me..." she cried, covering her ears as a pained scream escaped her.
"get out of my head!" she sobbed loudly, clawing at the cuts on her thighs.
"hey, hey!" he stopped her from doing so as she cried loudly, black streaming down her face. "no one understands! NO ONE GETS THE EVILS IM REMOVING!"
she stood in a hurry and saw the other three she was searching for, falling into their arms instantly. "i HATE THIS!"
"shh..." her eyes closed and one cupped her face. "it'll be over soon. don't listen to the voices, don't follow the pain,"
"i can't," she grasped onto her heart and breathed heavily as dante came over and helped her up. "time for bed,"
"no... the evil..."
"the evil won't get you. you remove evil, el," he led her back to her bedroom and tucked her under the covers, gently brushing her hair as she whimpered. "i wish... this will be over... i feel my mind— my mind scrambles,"
"no, your mind is fine," he shook his head but she shook it back. "my mind is not of human. no one understands. i feel pain too,"
"i understand, el. i always do," he told her gently as she blinked away her tears. "rest. we will talk later when you feel better."
she watched him carefully. "i'll never feel better." she touched her face. "do i look scary?"
he shook his head with a gentle smile. "no... but do you want me to wipe it off?"
she looked down and shrugged weakly as he looked around, searching around her desk before finding the makeup wipes.
he sat down on the edge of the bed and tipped her chin up. "you have to understand that the world doesn't believe and understand you. they'll never understand, el. they're scared of you,"
"but... i'm not scary. i'm not evil,"
"of course not. are you certain it was him?"
she nodded frantically. "dante," she cried. "you have to believe me! it was him! it smelled like him,"
he refrained from scrunching up his nose. "other than that, how do you know? you haven't seem him in years and suddenly he's here but he's forgotten you. are you sure they're not like—"
she jumped back from him in an instance. "SHUT UP! THEY'RE REAL!" she began to sob, grabbing onto the comforter for dear life. "THEY ARE! THEY ARE!"
"shh, shh. i know," he continued to wipe her cheeks, wiping away her tears.
"you... you... think he didn't know me? see me?"
she was referring to her makeup.
he shook his head. "i doubt it, piccolo mia," he smiled at her. "he would have known,"
she let out a shaky her breath, her voice cracking. "then what's wrong? what is wrong? why do everyone go?"
"i haven't," he assured her. "i'll never,"
she shook her head, panic growing as her breathing trembled. "they go... all go..." her body shook, her eyes growing wide in panic as he instantly brought her close and into his chest.
"it's okay, it's okay. calm down, take a breath," he whispered and she shook her head.
"c— can't— i can't—"
"yes, you can. look at me, piccolo. look at me. you can. you can do this. you're stronger than this,"
she sniffled, her chest rising as her breath shook. "he... it's him. i need him. i... dante..." she whispered.
he knew the look on her face and he also knew there were no stopping her. "el. piccolo... you have to think this through. logical, el. we practiced this. think before you act,"
"I CANT THINK! THATS THE THING, DANTE! MY MIND, BRAIN," she pointed to her head. "ITS FUCKED! FUCKED!"
he cupped her cheeks. "you stop that, eleanor. do not say that. you can think. you are smart."
she broke down into cries at his words. "i wish this would end,"
"don't say that,"
her eyes closed, her hands shaking. "wanna... wanna rest,"
"you sure you're going to be okay?"
"i will..." she whispered. "i will..." she said, more to herself this time.
"i'll get you food—"
"threw it up," she turned and laid on her side, facing away from him as she told him. "don't bother, dante,"
"i will bother," he continued to ask. "how much did you lose this time?"
"a lot..." she murmured. "i don't care," she put the cover over her head. "go. it's over,"
"el—"
"GO!" she screamed. "DANTE, I SWEAR TO GOD!" she cried, covering her ears as she buried herself away. "just fucking go," she curled up in a fetus position, feeling the smallest amount of meat around her bones.
she hated herself so much.
absolutely hated herself to the core.
✿
restaurant. he was at an restaurant and she was sat four tables away from him.
she tried her best to make her makeup not noticeable but it still came out wonky.
it wasn't her fault she was used to the dolly makeup.
she was watching closely, sipping on the free glass of water as she pretended to skim through the menu itself, though her gaze remained entirely on him.
and him only.
no woman in sight and no woman should be.
she felt her fist tighten around the menu, crumbling the hard piece of paper as she kept in her anger.
the same waitress came over again, asking if she was ready to order yet but she shot the deadliest glare and gazed back at mike, seeing him stand.
"move aside," she stood in a hurry and followed him out of the restaurant.
trailing behind him, she tightened her grip around her skirt, bunching it up as she scratched on her skin in a way to calm herself.
she followed him for streets and streets. he crossed the road and she did to.
he turned a corner and she did to.
her purpose? she did not know yet.
but she needed to track him down. she needed him.
but then he suddenly walked into a dark alley, el stupidly following as he halted to a stop.
he turned and faced her, her gazing up as she masked her gasp.
"why are you following me? are you done?"
her expression remained blank and she did not give him the satisfaction.
"can you speak? i asked you a question,"
her fingers intertwined and she rocked on her feet. "recognise me,"
"i seriously don't know you. stop following me," he turned to walk away as she lunged forward and grabbed his arm. "IT'S ME! YOU KNOW ME! DON'T LEAVE ME AGAIN!"
"GET OFF! I DON'T KNOW YOU!"
she began to sob, holding his hand even tighter when he tried to squirm out of her hold.
why was she so strong!? he thought.
"MIKE! DON'T GO!"
"i'm fucking serious, get off!"
she looked up, tears in her eyes. "don't go... please don't go. i'm not scary. i'm a good dolly!"
he looked down, examining her expression for a moment. "you're crazy,"
she sniffled, shaking her head. "am not! AM NOT! IM NOT CRAZY!" she pulled her hands back and covered her ears, slumping down on the ground against the wall as she curled up.
"IM NOT CRAZY! IN NOT CRAZY!"
he waited a moment, watching her shake on the floor.
he bent and kneeled by her, a hand on her head as she shakily looked up and her shaky hands removed a little from her ear.
"don't follow me again,"
"i... i can't," a gasp escaped her when he stood. "don't go!"
"do not follow me, i don't know you,"
she struggled to stand and she tried to run after him. "i'm a good dolly! i swearsie!" she cried loudly as she watched him leave. "PLEASE!"
he ignored her, exiting the alleyway before turning the corner, leaving her crying in the dark path all alone.
✿
a/n: consume by chase atlantic is el's song for sure!!