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S2E21: Motion to Adjourn
"Motion to Adjourn" appeared on the screen.
Yang, Ruby, and Jaune hummed the theme.
"I'm gonna try and get pics of every weapon and vehicle." Ruby said, holding Velvet's spare camera.
"Oh and by the way, Winter responded about the general Patton thing." Weiss said, holding her scroll.
"The what?" Ruby asked
"They made a reference to a general Patton a while ago and Winter just responded. She knows nothing of it." Weiss said angrily.
The scene opened to a Firefight outside the blue base
"Woah that looks like fun, finally an actual fight between them." Yang said.
Church: "Okay Tucker, I need you to get up there, help Caboose shore up the defense, establish a suppressing fire, and hold that position until further notice."
"That..that actually sounded like a good strategy." Weiss said, surprised.
Tucker: "I didn't even know what half of that meant."
Church: "Just go over to Caboose's rock, and fire your gun a bunch."
"Oh." Weiss said.
Tucker: " That rock? Yeah, I don't think so."
Church: "We do not, have time, to discuss this."
Tucker: "Sure, no time for you to discuss it. You get to hang out here with Nancy No-Bullets shootin' the breeze. Meanwhile, I'm out there, running around, eating a machine gun sandwich."
"How are Grif and Simmons missing? They're out in the open." Weiss pointed out.
"So is Caboose and they aren't even shooting back." Blake said.
"I wonder if we will ever see any real fights in the show, because this clearly isn't one." Pyrrha said.
Church: "Tucker, we're gonna give you covering fire."
Tucker: "Covering fire? Unless that means you're gonna build a huge, bullet-proof wall between me and them, I think you need to come up with a new plan. Preferably one that involves me keeping the same quantity of blood that I have right now."
Church: "No problem. Oh wait wait, does the blood have to be in your body?"
zoom to Grif and Simmons firing their respective machine guns at the blues
Grif: "Simmmonns... I can't feel my hands."
Simmons: "Maybe you should lay off the trigger, you dumbass."
"I know that feeling." Ren said, gesturing to his guns. "Thankfully I learned how to stop recoil."
"How? Recoil on my sniper is still pretty bad." Ruby asked. "But it is kind of useful because I use it as momentum for my next strike."
"Weapon discussion later please." Jaune begged, thinking of his Classic .
zoom back to Church and the gang
Church: "Alright you, Doc, get over there and help Caboose!"
Doc: "My name isn't Doc, it's DuFresne."
Church: "Yeah. I can't pronounce that, so from now on, your name is Doc."
Doc: "I'm not really comfortable with that; I'm not a doctor, I'm a medic."
Church: "What's the difference?"
"Medics are on the field while Doctors are in hospitals, I think that's the difference at least." Weiss said.
Doc: "Well, a doctor cures people. A medic just makes them more comfortable. While they die."
"Well never mind then." Weiss said sarcastically.
"That's pretty dark." Blake said.
"I take back what I said about him being noble and somewhat heroic." Pyrrha sighed.
Tucker: "Mental note: don't ever get shot."
Church: "It's settled then. Your name is now Doc."
Doc: "Alright, but I don't think it'll stick."
background goes greyscale and Doc slides further to the foreground while DOC slides across behind him, with dramatic "this is your name, fucking deal with it" music playing
"Welp, Doc is easier to say than Dufr- Dufen- doofen whatever." Nora said.
Tucker: "Oh, trust us, it'll stick."
Church: "Now get over to Caboose, and help him hold that position."
Doc: "I don't have a gun, I am a pacifist ."
Church: "Well then just get over there, and yell bang bang bang."
Doc: "Eh, I don't know. Even that sounds pretty aggressive."
Tucker: "Oh, come on."
Doc: "Besides, I'm not supposed to get involved unless someone gets hurt."
Church: "Huh. I see."
Church turns toward Caboose and very deliberately raises his gun, then fires one shot
Caboose: "Ahow, my foot."
"Wow, I hate this show." Weiss complained.
"What why? That was funny." Yang asked.
"It just, I want a serious show, this show is clever and all but... ugh nevermind." Weiss said.
Church: "Well, looks like Caboose has hurt himself. Maybe you should get over there and help him, Doc."
Doc: "You know, you could have just asked nicely."
"Nice to know Caboose got shot for nothing." Pyrrha muttered sarcastically.
zoom back to the reds
Simmons: "Oh crap, I'm out. Give me some ammunition,
Grif." Grif: "Me? I don't have any extra, I'm down to one bullet."
Simmons: "Wha.. how can that be? You're the one who carries all the extra rounds in to battle."
Grif: "Wait, since when?"
Simmons: "Since the last staff meeting."
"That reminds me, we need to have a staff meeting about homework and classes and-" Weiss started to list.
"What! Sorry Weiss I can't hear you over the sound of Jaune hitting play!" Yang said glaring at Jaune.
Grif: "We actually talk about stuff in those things? I just fall asleep inside my helmet."
Simmons: "Well, you missed your job assignment, and now we have no ammo."
Grif: "What's your job?"
Simmons: "Me? I'm the Social Chairman."
Sarge: "Grif. Me and Treasurer Donut are empty. We need some clips."
Simmons: "Hey Grif, you remember that one bullet you have left? I thought of the perfect way you can use it."
"Also a pretty dark joke." Blake said chuckling.
"Then why are you laughing?" Yang asked.
"It's kinda funny." Blake answered blushing.
zoom back to Doc and Caboose
Doc: "I'm here Caboose, where're you hit?"
Caboose: "Ah, ow, ow, ow, my foot, my foot!"
Doc: "The left foot?"
Caboose: "Ah, left. Let's see, that makes an L with this thumb and..."
"Wow he really is an idiot." Weiss said.
Doc: "I'm just gonna assume it's the bleeding one."
Caboose: "Yeah, the red one. Aeh. I can't believe Church shot me."
Church: "Oh don't even start , Caboose!"
Doc: "Anything else?"
"He's a terrible medic." Yang said. "He can't even make Caboose comfortable."
"That's not what real medics do." Blake said.
Caboose: "Uh, well wha?"
Doc: "You have a bullet wound in the foot. Is anything else wrong?"
Caboose: "Uh... Oh, I got one. Uh, Whell, sometimes when I fall asleep at night I think about my parents having sex, and I get really really mad for some reason."
"Gross." Jaune muttered.
"Damn Qrow and his stories." Yang said trying not to throw up.
"Ugh, just play it please." Weiss ordered.
Doc: "... Okay I'm just gonna start with the foot."
Caboose: "Okay."
zoom to Tucker and Church
Tucker: "Hey dude, why aren't the reds firing?"
Church: "I don't know, maybe they're outta ammo."
Sarge: "Hey blues! We are giving you a chance to surrender!"
Church: "Surrender!?"
The scene cut to black.
"Huh really short episode. Play the next one I'm gonna get some snacks." Yang said, getting up.