Exclusive.
Four Years Later
Heaven flicks the popcorn in her mouth as she sat on the couch with her swollen feet propped up on the coffee table with the small pillow propped below her feet in a delicate manner. She was exhausted. It had been a long ass day and she just wanted to rest and it's what she was doing for the time being.. resting her feet.
"I don't see how you watch this shit." Destinee whined, making her way over to the living room.
Heaven rolls her eyes. "Okay? It's not for you to watch. It's for me to watch, gon' on by your business." She pushed her head, staring at the large television in the living room that played a good picture of one of her favorite films: Jeepers Creepers. She loved a good classic, earlier when she got home it was all old black and white movies, now it was her favorite horror films, back to back. "Mmm, but I rarely get to see you now. With me being in Georgia and all, you need to move back." Heaven laughs looking down at Destinee whose head was resting in her lap, she often thought about it. But, she was here now. School was here. She was happier here, she felt secure even with all the memories. She felt secure. He made her feel that way.
"I mean, I thought about it." She ran her fingers through her curls.
The girls was alarmed by the front door opening and the alarm alerting them. "Front door open." She heard the code being placed, and keys jiggling. She smiled knowing exactly who it was. "Hey." She smiled over at him as he took off his jacket, resting it on the arm of the couch, slapping Destinee out the way. She rolled her eyes. "Nigga, you gone stop putting your hands on me." She snapped. "Girl, what you gone do?" He cut his eye over at her, she huffed. "Exactly. So shut up." Heaven shook her head and laughed. "Can you two not? You're messing up my peace." Heaven paused the television.
"Uh huh, how are my babies doing?" He pecked her lips a few times, running his hand over her belly that was very noticeable.
Resting her hand on top of his as the baby kicked at the sound of her dad's voice. Heaven grinned from ear to ear. "She missed her daddy, she hadn't kicked all day." Harlem chuckled, shaking his head. He leaned down lifting up her shirt, she smiled resting her hand on the back of his neck, he kissed her stomach, allowing the baby to kick her little feet repeatedly. "Ow! Oooh!" Heaven chuckled, spanking her baby's feet that were visible through her stomach. "Damn, Harlem." Destinee laughs. "She gone be fiesty as hell, she might be on a damn karate team the way she be kicking for this ugly nigga." Harlem blew kisses on Heaven's stomach, rubbing her belly with one hand whilst flipping Destinee off with the other. "My man is not ugly."
"I'm glad you know." Harlem laughs leaning back up. He keeps his hand on my stomach. "It's been a long day, how was class?"
Heaven sighs. "It's become harder to get around now, my feet hurt so bad." She pouts, looking down at her swollen feet, her head resting on Harlem's chest. She often thought about her decision, it left her feeling somewhat empty. Empty because she knew she loved someone else and wanted someone else but she also knew that this decision was the right one, that she did in fact love Harlem more than anything but, deep down she never felt what she felt wholeheartedly with his brother. But her decision was made and she lived with it, her and Harlem were having a baby together and it brought it all into perspective for her. "And by the way, it's not a girl, Destinee."
"Hold up.." Harlem grinned from ear to ear. "It's not?"
Heaven laughs. "No, babe. It's a boy, we're having a son." He and Heaven both cheesed because it's what they wanted. She always said if she had a kid, she wanted it to be a boy. She always wanted a son first. It's always been her dream. "Ooo!" He kisses all over my face. "Oh my..God!!" Destinee whines, shaking her head, Harlem shoves her, pushing her off the couch. He finally pulls away from heaven's lips, glancing over at Destinee. "Why are you such a damn hater?"
"Uh.. hello.. you took my girl from me?" She raised an eyebrow.
Shaking her head at the two of them. "Can you two not? Like seriously." Harlem smacked his lip. "I'm not about to play with her, she's on that childish bullshit and I don't have time for it. But, back to you and school.. maybe you should finish this semester online, you know it's not exactly a good idea for you to be on your feet and all, we don't wanna risk losing our son." He stressed. Heaven agreed. She knew he was right and being that this pregnancy was very much a miracle, she'd made it further than she's ever had. She was at her three months mark and she couldn't risk anything happening. "I'll talk to my professor tomorrow."
"Alright, and if he gives you shit.. lemme know." He pecked her lips. "I'm gonna go shower."
He pushed himself off the couch, heading up the stairs to their shared bedroom leaving her deep in thought, she sighed deeply picking up her phone, she scrolled through her long line of messages, coming across his name. Last message:
I'm sorry, I love you.
She rolled her eyes, staring at the contact photo of the two of them in his bed being silly. She chuckled, shaking her head. "When was the last time you saw him?" Destinee questioned as she plops back down next to her, noticing her smile and she knew instantly who she was thinking about. Locking her phone, she tossed the phone on the coffee table. "The night he left me." I answered honestly, playing with the ends of my braids, my thumb brushed over my stomach. "Does Harlem know that you were sleeping with him?" Heaven nodded her head yes. "I was open and honest with him about everything, from beginning to end. I never could lie to Harlem, he always figured shit out," I laugh softly. "He knows me far too well." She chuckled. "Is the baby his?" I nod my head. "Of course, it's Harlem's. I mean Big's been gone for four years, he came back that one time- we hooked up but- it's Harlem's. Plus, he can't have kids."
"So, what about his brother? He just left with no explanation?"
Heaven wasn't trying to dwell on the situation. "He was a fugitive. He had to leave. He was about to be arrested. So, he left." She shrugged, turning the tv back on signaling to Destinee that she didn't want to talk about the situation anymore. "I'm about to head out, leave you two to it." Destinee stood to her feet, planting a kiss on the top of Heaven's head. Heaven just nodded. "Be safe." She hated BiG but she loved him too. She knew the real reason he left was because of her. Because of her messing with his brother and she hated that she messed with both of them, it got between the two and that she hated more than she hated him leaving her. Wiping her tears quickly, she pushed her feet off the table, she had to use the bathroom so bad. "This boy pressing on my bladder so heavy and I hate it." She groaned, holding onto the railings as she made her way up the few stairs. "Harlem!"
"Yeah, babe what's up?" He rushed out almost knocking her backwards.
He quickly caught her before she could fall. "Damn, Harlem! Be careful. You tryna kill me and him?" She tensed up. "My bad baby, you gotta stop all that yelling and shit." She shook her head. "Help me. I have to pee and my feet hurt." Lifting her up bridal style, he carried her into their bedroom, he kicked the bathroom door open, placing her back down on her feet as she walked to the toilet. "Oh what a relief.." she moans as she urinates. He laughs, shaking his head. "Had to pee that bad huh?" He raised an eyebrow at her as he rubbed some deodorant under his armpits.
"You don't even know the half of it.." she laughs softly.
She grabbed some tissue, wiping front to back tossing it in the toilet. He handed her the baby wipes from behind her, she took out one and wiped and was about to throw it in the trash when she noticed some spotting which made her scared. "H-Harlem.." he chuckled, looking over at her. His smile instantly faded. "You bleeding?" She nods her head. He nods. "Okay. Okay. Don't freak out, come on." He helped her off the toilet, she tossed the wipe in the trash pulling up her joggers, she waddled over to the sink washing her hands. He dialed up his doctor friend who was Heaven's on-call OBGYN. He placed the phone on speaker, massaging Heaven's shoulders as she breathed in and out, doing her exercises her therapist taught her. "Hello?"
"Kat, it's Harlem." Harlem said slowly into the phone to try and keep the mood calm.
He was freaking out but he couldn't let it be known and then it would only cause Heaven to freak out more. "Hi, Harlem. How is my favorite patient doing?" Heaven continued doing her breathing exercises but it didn't stop the tears from falling down her face. "Not good, we are a little worried right now. She's spotting. We wanna know if that's good or bad with her health issues and all?"
"Spotting can be normal. One out of four women can bleed occasionally during their pregnancy, some in the first trimester and some even in the third. It's not much of a big deal, but I would like to monitor it.. how much is she bleeding? Is it just a few spots or is it.. is Heaven with you right now?"
Heaven croaked. "Y-yes. You're on speaker." Dr.Kat sighed, "Okay. It's okay, sweetheart. I promise you. We will carry this beautiful little boy to full term. Okay? Is the bleeding enough to fill up a panty liner or is it just a dot?" Heaven sighed. "Just a dot." She swallowed the lump in her throat, leaning back, her back pressed up against Harlem's. "Okay.. that doesn't sound too bad. I want you both to monitor it for tonight and I'll be on the first available flight tomorrow to make sure you're alright. Are you under any stress?" Heaven shook her head no as if the doctor could see her. "No, I've been stress free. I'm just tired all of the time. But, I've been walking a whole lot more with school.."
"Is your feet swelling?" She asked.
Heaven bounced from her heel to her toes. "Yes. Like very bad." She was becoming nervous. "Okay, I think you're going to be fine, but I'll be down tomorrow to be sure. Heaven, I think right now you should do schooling online just until you deliver. I don't- We don't want anything to lead towards miscarriage or harm to the baby over time, okay?" Heaven wiped her tears. "Okay, so you're saying I'm okay?"
"As of right now, yes but like I said I want you and Harlem to keep track of everything. Call me back if the bleeding continues and gets worse, and then call 911. Okay?"
Harlem groaned. "You're scaring her right now, Kat." He hugged her neck with his arm, placing his chin on her head, watching her through the mirror. He knew Heaven was scared and he was scared too, he didn't want to lose his son. Especially since he found out his five year old daughter wasn't biologically his. "I don't mean to scare either one of you, but I have to be honest. That's why you chose me, right?"
"Yeah. Yeah." He nodded his head as if she could see him. "Thanks, Kat."
He sighed, hanging up the phone, Heaven turned her body so her face was now buried in his bare chest. She broke down into his arms which caused him to cry too. "Damn, baby, you know I hate when you cry, man." He squeezed the bridge of his nose, rubbing her back with his free hand. "I'm sorry. I'm just scared." He sighed deeply wrapping both arms around her, he lifted her up and placed her carefully on the counter. "You're a fighter. Our son is a fighter. We got this. Okay?" He planted a kiss on her forehead, then her lips, then her stomach. "Come on, let's go downstairs, watch some movies and just enjoy the rest of tonight."
•••
My eyes went to Heaven as she laid beside me on the couch asleep. I moved her braids from her hair, leaning down kissing her head. I rubbed her stomach, saying a silent prayer over her to Allah. I was scared to lose her and our son, it was my biggest fear. I remember when Kat first asked me if I had to make the decision between her or our child, it broke my heart because who would want to make that choice? Who would want to be faced with that choice? But my answer was simple... her.
I knew she would hate me if I chose her over our son but, at the end of the day. We could always try again, but I wouldn't want to live with myself knowing I didn't fight hard for at least the both of them to survive. A world without her in it, really wasn't a world worth living. She lit up an entire room. She was special. The doorbell ring which brought me out of my thoughts, she groaned beneath me. I slowly got off the couch, resting the throw over her body. I paused the movie that was honestly watching me and her, I was in my head too deep to even think about anything else. "Just a minute," I grabbed my gun from off the table next to the door, unlocking the door.
"Well, I be damned."
I looked at him as he turned around, he wore all black. He had a full-on beard, his hair was in curls all over his head. I chuckled lightly, dapping him up. I didn't think we would ever see each other again. I knew when he found out about me and Heaven, shit went left with us. We fought, shot at each other, we did the whole nine. "Am I going to be needing this?" I held up my gun. He chuckled hard, and I laughed too. Putting the gun in my waistband, we hugged. "Man, no call or text for four years." He laughed. "You know I had to get out of town, can I come in?"
"Yeah, be quiet though. Heaven is finally asleep."
Big pushed his hoodie off his head. "You two are still together huh?" I closed the door, looking at his fro. I ran my hand over it. "Damn nigga, you look like you been in the wilderness or some shit. You need Carmen to give you a fresh braid up and trim?" He shrugs. "I'll eventually go and get one." He looks around the home I shared with Heaven, our pictures all over the place like a happy couple and shit. And we were, but then again.. he wasn't around. "Damn, y'all really together huh?" I rubbed the back of my neck. "Mhm. We uh.. we engaged." He raised an eyebrow. "Engaged?!"
"Yeah, I proposed about a year ago.." I trail off, watching his facial expressions.
He nodded with a tight lipped expression, but even I knew he wasn't pleased with it. "Bro, look, I don't want to fight. I love you. We are family. We have been best friends since the womb, come on, no issues?" He nodded. "I told you before I left, im good. Long as you make her happy, i'm good. You and everybody else always said you was the better brother for her. So im- Heaven."
"Deon.." she stared at him as she stood in the middle of the room holding her stomach.
I watched both of their reactions. She walks over and slaps him hard as she could across the face, she scoffed disappearing up the stairs. "Damn." I chuckle lightly covering my mouth, I didn't see that coming. He clenched his jawline hard as hell, spitting blood on my floor. "Nigga, I just waxed my floors! What the entire fuck?" He clenched his jawline. "Fuck your floors Nigga. What the fuck was that for? What lies you been telling her?"
"I didn't tell her shit. You the one left." I frowned.
He shook his head clenching his jawline. "Fuck." He hissed. "Don't just stand there. Give me some to wipe my mouth, think her ring cut my lip." I chuckled hard, I don't know why I found it so funny but I did. Grabbing a paper towel, I damped a little bit before handing it to him watching him clean his mouth. "Is it cut?" He poked out his bottom lip. "Damn, she got you good."
"For real? Where a mirro-" he rushed over to the mirror in the dining room, "Oh fuck! That's gone scar."
I laugh. "It'll be a good scar. Don't trip. Just say you was pistol whipped or some." He clenched his jawline. "I'm glad you loving this because I'm pissed the fuck off." I threw my hand up, I didn't feel sorry for him. He brought it on himself. He left. He made her decision for her and I'm glad he did because these last four years with her have been the best four years. And I hope he didn't come in and mess it up. "You brought it on yourself, bro."
"Whatever, where she go?" He pushed past me.
I shook my head. "Don't do anything stupid." He fanned me off, making his way up the stairs. I sucked my teeth, going to clean off the blood from the floor. I was worried but than again, I wasn't worried. I was confident enough in us to know that she'd never cheat on me. Besides, she knew what would happen if she ever did.
•••
I couldn't believe this. Did I manifest this man? Because I was not trying to. I did not want to see him, hear his voice or even think about him. Yet here he was. I brushed my hand over my forehead, pacing back and forth. My nerves was shot. I didn't need this right now. I was happy and perfectly content in my relationship with Harlem. He made me happy. We were getting married. It's all a girl could ask for. I finally stopped pacing, I found myself staring outside the window watching the children play and the movers back the truck up and park in front of the home across from ours.
"Stubborn." He announced.
My instant moment of peace turned to anger. Turning on my heels, I folded my arms and looked over at the man that I loved most in this world. But the man that actually broke my heart the worst. "Don't stubborn me." He shook his head. "I find it funny how you living a whole life with my brother, and you the one with an attitude?" I laugh. "Don't turn this around on me. You left me. Remember? Not the other way around." I pointed my finger at him.
"I didn't leave you. I needed space."
I laughed. "Space? You needed space? I waited for you. I did. I waited and waited. But I got tired of waiting. All I got from you was a lousy text and all of your shit gone. What was that?" He stuffed his hands into his pockets. "I'm not here to fight about the past or what could've or should've been. You pregnant? That's good, I know how much you wanted children.."
"Mm, yeah, I am. It's a boy. And we both know it's not yours so you don't even gotta ask that question." I roll my eyes
He sucked his teeth. "Well, I'm glad you're getting all that you wanted. Are you happy?" I was growing tired of this twenty question game, my eyes scanned him from head to toe. I chewed the inside of my bottom lip before opening my mouth. "I'm happy. Yes. Can we not with this twenty question bullshit?" I was very happy, and I didn't need him coming in and ruining shit, I didn't need him stirring up suppressed feelings. "I'm back for awhile, I came to make things right with you."
"You're a little too late for that, Big. I'm with Harlem. I'm happy with him."
He laughed. "Who are you trying to convince? Me or you? You repeat it like you want to convince yourself." Rolling my eyes at his assumptions. I smiled, placing my hand on my stomach as my son started to kick. "I'm trying to convince you. I don't need you coming here and making trouble for me." I grabbed my car keys. I needed some fresh air, away from him. I was about to walk past him when he grabs my hand, placing it to his chest. "You see that? You still make my heart run a mile per second." I snatched my hand from his. "Stop it, Big."
"You want me to stop?" He smirks.
I chuckled shaking my head. "It's over between us." Snatching the door open, I proceeded downstairs seeing Harlem cleaning the floor. "What are you doing?" I watched him mop. "Cleaning the bloo- where are you going?" I rolled my eyes. "I just need to breathe. Imma go for a drive. Call me when he's gone, okay?" He nods. I pecked his lips repeatedly. Going to my car, I sighed heavily swinging the door open. Getting in the car, I drove and just drove. I needed some time out my head. Finding myself driving and driving until I was in front of Rodney's. I got out the car after placing it in park and hitting the push start. I got out, closing the door behind me walking up the stairs. I knocked and knocked.
"Heaven, what are you doing here?" Rodney questions, looking around I'm guessing for Harlem
I pushed myself inside. "I just kept driving and found myself here, where's Azya?" Sitting on his couch, I plopped my feet up on the table. "She's asleep." He grabbed a pillow placing it under my feet, I sighed resting my head on my hands. "I need to be sleeping but my head is just running a mile, I was fine for four years. Happy. Why did he have to fucking show up and get in my head, again?"
"Who?" He questioned. "Who else? Big."
•••
Lifting the portrait of Heaven and my brother off the night stand table, his hand holding her stomach and the biggest smile on her face. It made me angry but happy at the same time. I didn't know what to feel. It had been four years. I brought it on myself but I didn't think she would develop a whole life with him.
"What are you two having?" I asked, slightly turning my head to the side to get a good look at him through the corner of my eye.
Placing the photo back down on the table. "A boy." I chuckled and nodded, she always told me how much she wanted a son. It only made me happier for her because she got what she always wanted. A man that would treat her right, a happy life, a son, a degree. She was doing everything she wanted in life. I was happy for her but also sad because, I wasn't the one giving her what she wanted in life. "When is she due?"
"It's not yours, unless it's something you want to tell me?." I turned my body to look at him. "I know it's not, I can't have kids. Got a vasectomy some years back. I couldn't give her kids even if I wanted to. I was serious when I told you, I didn't want kids. Besides, can't get her pregnant if I haven't been around, now can I?" But little did he know, I had it reversed some time after Heaven and I became more serious. Maybe I wanted to trap her or maybe, just maybe I wanted to really have kids with her. "Mmm, guess it's a lot you had going on and didn't tell me." I chuckle. "You had your life little bro and I had mine." Sitting down at the end of the bed, he walks over and joins me. "Four damn years. Still feels like forever. You know I hate fighting with you." Glancing over at him, I nod. "I hate fighting with you. You know that. What happened to never letting any female come between us?" He laughed. "Shit, we never met a woman like Heaven before." I chuckled, nodding my head. "She's definitely pressure." He laughed. "That she is."
I smiled. "You know I love her right?" He nods his head. "I do." Rubbing the back of my neck. It was silent for a long time before I finally broke the silence. "When is this wedding? I wanna give her away."
"We haven't exactly set a date yet. Just been so preoccupied. But I think you two are gonna have to actually want to be in the same room with each other if that's even gone to work out." He joked. I chuckled. "Give her time. She will come around. I mean, I guess I did ghost her. But you know it was a lot going on. I had the FEDS after me harder than they ever were. My immunity wasn't saving my ass for the crime I committed. I just found out you and her were sleeping together, we were fighting- It was just too much at the time and I just left. You know I have never been one to express my feelings and shit in a healthy outlet. So it was either I left or shit hit the ceiling."
Jogging down the stairs, I just reached the bottom stair when the door opened and she walked in. "It's a little late, don't you think!?"
"Are you still here?" She scoffs, closing the door shut completely setting the alarm. "Yeah, you don't want me here?" She shrugged, hanging her purse up on the coat rack. She let out a sharp exhale, heading towards the kitchen, opening the fridge. She grabbed a caprisun. "I don't care whether you are here or not. It's not changing anything."
Kissing her lips. "Is it?"
"Big, what the hell." She pushed me off of her. She pushed away from me. "What are you thinking? I told you. You and I are done. I meant that." She glared at me. Even through the frown, I knew she missed me and still loved me. "You don't mean that." She laughs. "Uh yeah, I do." She scoffs. "Excuse me, I'm going to go to bed.. with my future husband, if you don't mind? Don't ever try to kiss me again."
I laugh. "Really, Harlem? You know damn well you don't love him like you love me." She smacked her lips. "You right. But at least I can depend on him." She shoves me. "Goodnight."
•••••••
Is this a possible ending? Or no?? Hmmm.... Who is she gonna truly end up with in the end?