age: 15
-
Y/N's POV
Homeschooling. A concept that takes a lot of people's interest. After all, it's a good solution for if you have difficulties being in public school for whatever reason.
Me, I've only recently switched from public to homeschooling.
I've been through a lot mentally these past few years and a lack of motivation to focus in class has come with that. Therefore, I spoke to my mom about it and we came to an agreement that it might be a good idea to try a new way of learning.
Whilst I like it a lot more than being in an actual school environment, I'm still finding it hard to get myself to do the work, and part of that comes from just not being in the right mindset mentally.
I'm lucky in that I've been able to re-take the year and choose all of my subjects again, but I really don't think I'll be able to handle the workload until I'm in a better place.
For what feels like the hundredth time this morning, I read over the same sentence again and again. Yet nothing is going in.
It's moments like this where I really need to be reassured that I'm doing okay and not letting everyone down. My mom spent a lot of money to make this happen and get me signed up with this homeschooling course, I can't fail her.
NATASHA's POV
When Y/N told me she wanted to homeschool, of course I agreed with her straight away.
Her school were doing absolutely nothing to help her and it got to the point where she would be messaging me by her second lesson, asking me to pick her up. So, homeschooling felt like the better option.
Except, her mental state still isn't doing any better, and I wasn't expecting it to be. It's gonna take more than just being pulled from mainstream school to help her improve.
She's been up in her room for around two hours now, supposedly doing her work. But if I know Y/N, she's already given up and lost all of her energy.
At least it gives me a good opportunity to go and check up on my favorite person.
With a packet of Doritos in case she's hungry, I jog quickly up the stairs and knock on her door, walking straight in when gaining no response.
"Hey, sweetheart," I whisper as not to startle her.
She's currently curled up in bed, with all the lights off since it's her way of decompressing.
After throwing the Doritos onto her desk, I slowly make my way over to her bed and lay down beside her. She doesn't hesitate to throw herself into my chest and start to sob profusely.
Nothing needs to be said. I know that all she needs right now is for me to hold her close and keep my heart rate down so she can listen to the soothing thumping of my heartbeat.
Prior to me coming in, it's likely she was only seconds away from breaking down. I think everything's just catching up to her and she's having trouble regulating herself.
"Shhh, you're okay, baby. Mama's here," I say in a hushed tone, kissing the top of her head as she nuzzles further into me. "Everything's gonna be fine. I want you to know that you don't have to do your work right now, it can wait because I promise you that how you feel is so much more important. So just take a break."
"I can't!" she wails, pressing herself further into me. "If I have any chance of passing my exams, I need to work but I just fucking can't."
"Okay, shhh," I soothe. "Do you need to vent? Because I'm all ears."
Y/N takes a moment to think before replying with a nod. She lifts her head up from my chest and starts her much-needed rant.
"I wanna do well in school. I want good grades, I wanna get into a good university, I want a good job. But lately everything feels like a chore and I've been trying to improve my mental health and get into good habits but trying to maintain that whilst having the thought of schoolwork hanging over my head isn't easy. I can't afford to fall behind anymore but honestly, mama, I can't see myself finding the motivation to get my work done. I'm at a loss."
What she's saying makes complete sense. While I'll never understand exactly how she's feeling, I do understand that she gets overwhelmed and anxious easily.
I don't want her to fall behind, either. Not again. But I also don't wanna push her. If she doesn't take a break, she'll get burnt out and that is something we can't have happen again.
Readjusting her to be further on top of me, I exhale deeply as I think about what step to take next.
"Okay," I speak up. "We're gonna do half days from now on, that's all. You can choose every day whether you'd like to do your work in the morning or the afternoon, but either way, you need to have half a day off. You know the best ways to calm yourself down, I know you do. So use that and if you feel yourself getting worked up, you know exactly what to do and how you should calm down. And for the love of god, please take breaks when you need. Got it?"
The look of relief in her eyes says it all.
"Yes, mama," she whispers, clearly spent.
"Good. Do you want me to stay or go? You look like you need a nap."
"Noooo, don't leave me," she whines, putting all of her body weight on me so I have no choice but to stay pinned down to the mattress.