Kaya
At some point I must have drifted off to sleep, and for the first time since returning from Asgard it felt completely peaceful. No dream, no stress, just comfort and warmth, despite being curled on a sofa. I was also less cold than I had been before and Loki's seiðr was stronger now. At least it hadn't taken him too long to regain his strength, he could become somewhat skittish if he felt unable to protect himself for too long. I tried my best to get back to sleep, but at some point my shifting must have indicated to him that I'd woken up. His hand settled back into my hair as he pulled it off of my neck.
"It's still late darling, did you want to go to bed?"
"I'm okay staying here if you still want to read."
"It isn't books I'm reading, so I'm more than happy to retreat to the bedroom." Curious, and knowing I wouldn't be able to get back to sleep, I sat up to look at what he was reading. To my surprise it was a screen he was staring at. It was surprising how happy I felt about how well he was adapting to technology here. I never thought I'd see the day where he was using the internet when he could barely work a phone a few months ago.
"Why on Earth are you looking at news stories?" He chuckled softly before bringing an arm around me and letting me lean into him. I couldn't help but relax into him, enjoying the scent of lavender from him. The blanket never could do it justice.
"We missed the last briefing with the team whilst we were gone, and I was curious about what happened following our dance at Stark's ball." I rolled my eyes as he referred to a party as a ball, but finally peered over enough to read the article on his screen. I was met with a beautiful picture of the two of us gazing into each other's eyes as we danced together. I recognised it as the one of the photos I'd managed to get Nat to print for me. How complicated things seemed then, and how simple it feels now. I longed for the time where the biggest issue was confessing my feelings to him. I smiled as I remembered how ridiculously nervous I was at the time.
"Mm, I'm sure they had an absolute field day with that."
"From the looks of it Stark covered it with his press tour and upcoming donations to various institutes. Most of the questions surrounding our relationship status were dodged or ignored. Though there were some less than favourable social media posts around it, it was to be expected. Just know that not everyone is exactly a fan of either of us." With a sigh he commanded FRIDAY to close the screen as he reached out to me, reaching his hands to my waist and pulling me gently to straddle him. "But people have, for the most part, stopped believing you are dating the oaf. So I'd call that a success. Pretty much everyone knows you are mine." His lips grazed my neck slightly causing me to sigh contently. For a brief moment it almost felt like everything was normal between us.
But it wasn't real, simply a further distraction from how terrible we both felt. I felt the vibrations in my neck as he hummed slightly against my skin. Why did his distractions have to feel so good to me? It was like I couldn't get my body to behave itself around him. What was worse is how clearly he knew how I reacted to him. I could feel his lips turning into a sly grin against my skin and his arrogant sultry chuckle soon followed. Then ever so slowly I felt his nose graze up my neck until his lips aligned with that sensitive spot just below my ear.
"Loki..." I wanted to warn him that after everything we've been through today that we shouldn't be falling back into this pattern. It wasn't healthy to keep distracting ourselves. But then he placed a small, far too chase kiss, on the skin there.
"Yes pet?" Fuck. It was incredible how just one nickname could cause such an effect on me. I felt the goosebumps spread over my arm as a pleasant shiver came over me. If I didn't try to stop it soon I doubt I'd have the will to. I was already questioning if I should.
"We really shouldn't distract ourselves with sex right now. It won't make us feel better in the long run."
"Really? Because it seems like you're feeling awfully good right now, pet." I gasped as he tugged my hair back. With a sly smirk he gently pushed my face closer to his. Our lips were so close that every small movement caused his to graze ever so slightly against mine.
"I swear I'm not using you as a distraction, darling. I've just missed the way you struggle not to squirm when you're turned on." I felt the blush heat my cheeks as I tried to look away. I should have known he wouldn't let me, moving his hand to grasp my chin as made sure I kept eye contact with him. Then once I did he flexed his hips slighting, making sure he pressed into me. Unable to help it, I gasped slightly as I closed my eyes, causing him to chuckle arrogantly once more. "And those pretty little sounds you make." His hand left my cheek when he could assure I wouldn't move it, wrapping itself around my throat instead. Instinctively I tilted my head backwards to allow him easier access. That's when his other hand rested on my lower back and slowly guided my hips forwards. It wasn't lost on me how hard he felt through the fabric of our trousers, just as it likely wasn't lost on him how quickened my breathing had become. "I've missed the way you feel when you cum around my cock." Fuck caution. I closed the small distance between our lips and he didn't hesitate to meet mine. His lips instantly dominated mine as the hand around my throat moved to the back of my neck to keep me as close to him as possible. Slowly, his hand began to make its way under my trousers, drawing tantalisingly close to where the elastic of my underwear sat just above my ass. Teasingly, he ran his index finger just under the elastic and... and then a large explosion caused me to freeze completely.
I tried to tell myself that it was just a loud bang, that above us in the communal area someone had just caused something to explode. Like Thor when he tried to work a toaster before his Pop Tart ban. Or when Barton had fallen out of a vent. That it had a simple explanation. My self-calming thoughts did hold for long. As I froze, Loki sprang into action immediately, pushing me off of his lap and walking to the window. As my gaze followed him I saw the cloud of fire and smoke rising above the treeline, soft orange light illuminating his face and highlighting the golden braid that hung just behind his left ear. So many thoughts rushed through my head in that moment, but one stood above all else. They'd come for me.
"Go to Wanda. Now." He didn't even look at me, instead he kept his eyes firmly at the explosion in the treeline as he summoned his daggers. All at once everything hit me. The attack on me at the party, the issues with FRIDAY, Barnes' escape and my subsequent close call with death, all of it piled into a giant weight that landed straight on my chest. And above all else, my thoughts filtered back to those dreams, the ones I kept forcing myself to believe were dreams. I couldn't stand the thought of Loki's research, of his belief that I had power in foresight, that any of those images of him dying could have been a possible future. Now it was all I could see.
"No, don't leave, please. I'll need you if they find me."
"Kaya–" He finally turned to me, his daggers disappearing as he walked over to me.
"Please." I could feel my chest tighten as I began to struggle for air. I could breathe it in, but it didn't feel right. Like there wasn't enough of it, or maybe like there was too much.
"Look, I need to see what caused that explosion. At any sign of danger you can call for me and I will be there, this I swear." How many times did he remind me that I had to be careful with what I promised? How could he so blatantly ignore his own warnings? A God's word to a mortal held far too much weight for him to throw around his words. He already told me he knew about my dreams, why would he recklessly run into danger? As my fear grew exponentially so did my breaths quicken. "Hey, hey, look at me. Kaya look at me." Gently, he cupped both of my cheeks in his hands and forced me to focus on him. On his eyes. It grounded me slightly but didn't help ease the pressure I could feel on my chest. "Remember when Thor made a blood oath to me, and he had to be extremely careful not to break it? It was because we are bound to them." Before I could even question what relevance his words had, his hands left my face as he summoned his dagger before using it to slice his hand.
"Loki!" I couldn't stop him in time, a thin red line staining his usually extremely pale skin. It brought me back to those dreams. Of blood pouring from his throat as my hand held my dagger over it.
"This is my oath to you, Kaya." His words brought me back to focus with a small gasp as I desperately tried to regulate my breathing. With his right hand, he began drawing a symbol on his forehead with his own blood. "If you ever summon me, call for me, or get Heimdall to reach out to me." Then he reached across to me and I found myself frozen, no longer breathing too fast but barely breathing at all. I could feel how cold the liquid was as it touched my forehead. "No matter where I am, or what I am doing. I will get to you as soon as possible and do my utmost to protect you." Then, gently, he placed a clean finger under my chin and tilted my head up slightly, so that our faces were almost touching. "Until the day I die." Softly, he brought his lips to mine and chastely kissed me. The weight of what he did only then hit me. An oath he would always be bound to until the day he died, hopefully thousands of years from now.
"Loki..."
"Please ást, go to Wanda. Protect each other. Can you do that for me? Can you do that knowing wholeheartedly that I will be there the moment you call for me?" Almost numb and calm, I slowly nodded.
"At the first sign of danger, come back to me." Knowing if I delayed it for too long I'd never be able to let him leave alone, I did as he asked and teleported myself to the communal living room. My anxiety must have affected my ability because I found myself in the corridor just near the entrance to the room. I rushed around the corner and through the double doors when I noticed three people standing in the dimly lighted room.
Vision was at the far edge of the room, facing me, and two figures faced him. One was Wanda, the other I recognised as Barton from the quiver full of arrows on his back. Well, almost full. It seemed like a few were missing.
"I retire for what like five minutes and it all goes to shit."
"Please consider the consequences of your actions." I felt a wave of relief as Loki's seiðr washed over me, lulling me into a more relaxed state. When he appeared I noticed a shard of an arrow in his hand, most likely the cause of the explosion. It had been Barton all along. Loki stepped between us, clearly hesitant and worried about Barton's presence here. Silently I put a handout to his arm and pulled him back. This, finally, had nothing to do with us. I pulled him to the side as two strands of electricity hit Vision and Clint prompted Wanda to run. In silence I watched their exchange, how worried Wanda was to leave was evident, but I could understand the temptation. They'd temporarily suspended her and likely wouldn't reinstate her until she signed. She'd been kept in the safehouse just as I had been, for fear of her and others safety. Barton was trying to convince her when Vision used the stone to destroy the arrow. When a fight broke out I went to step forward, only for Loki to hold me back.
"Stop, I need to –"
"You can't fix this, Kaya." He gently placed two hands on my shoulders, blocking the view of the room off to me.
"I know you want to, I know you want to save everyone, but the reality is that as soon as those Accords were put to you all things changed. You can't get people to agree with them if they don't want to, especially considering you barely tolerate them."
"But–"
"Rogers and Wilson are on the run, Barnes is MIA but now the most wanted man in the world. Stark and Romanoff are in Berlin and Hydra may still be after you. I'm sorry, I know you don't want to hear this but things will never be the same again, Kaya." It was a harsh reality but it was true. Every single word he said. If Barton had come for Wanda then he was on Steve's side and trying to convince Wanda to be before she caved in and signed. I felt her energy swell in the room before I saw the red glow illuminate her hands. She was making her choice.
"Vision, that's enough. Let him go. I'm leaving."
"I can't let you." Her power was growing as she continued to channel it. I could feel it across my body in a way I never had before. Similar to how I felt after coming into contact with the Tesseract, I could feel this primordial energy ignite inside of me. Something so deeply connected to her magic, and to the stone in Vision's head. For a brief moment I felt just how connected we were.
"Your eyes." Loki whispered, as he brought a hand to my cheek. "They're... glowing." We didn't have time to think about that. I moved to one side as I witnessed Wanda's energy moving as she disabled the Mind Stone, causing Vision to collapse as a red glow spread across his body.
"I'm sorry."
"If you do this, they will never stop being afraid of you." His voice was glitching as the floor beneath him began to shatter under the pressure, tiles breaking in a circle around him.
"I can't control their fear, only my own." With a surge of energy, she pushed him through this floor and the few below us, before going further into the ground beneath us. I was unsure how far down he went, but I knew for at least a moment he would need time to come back online.
"C'mon, we got one more stop." Barton finally spoke up before walking towards the door. As they got closer I stepped between them and their escape route, breaking free from Loki's grasp.
"Kaya... don't try to stop–" I cut her off as I brought my arms around her. For a second she remained stiff, still ready to fight to be able to break free, and what an interesting fight that would be. But one perhaps for another time. When she realised my intentions, she too brought her arms around my waist and hugged me back.
"I would never take away your right to choose your own path, сестра." With a small smile I pulled away from her, but didn't take my hands fully away, instead resting them on her shoulders. "But that doesn't mean I won't miss you. Or worry." Her body shook with her light laughter. Whilst I concerned everyone at the compound as part of my family, Wanda was the closest thing I ever had to a sister. After Pietro died, we developed a deep bond fuelled by the trauma we suffered under Hydra. No piece of legislation could ever change that.
The only sorrow I truly felt was at the realisation that I'd neglected her too much, convinced myself she would be okay with Vision at her side, and becoming too lost in my own circumstances. I would make that right again as soon as they all came back. As soon as this was resolved. But even I struggled to convince myself at this point that our family would ever be whole again at this point.
"As nice as this is, Terminator over there is likely to regain control soon so we really have to go." I stepped back out of her arms, noticing the red tint to her eyes that likely matched mine.
"I'll make sure Vision does not try to follow you." With a small nod they went to leave. Just before his hand left the door, I called out, "Clint!" He turned with a small sigh, looking back at me. "Keep her safe." I turned my back on them, not wanting to watch her leave. It was the right thing to do, I couldn't stop her knowing she wanted to go, but it still hurt. I had no idea when I would see her next. Instead I closed my eyes and focussed on the Mind Stone, feeling the source of it beneath my feet. Then I surrounded Vision, putting every rune I had learnt or seen or read about around the shield. Some of them weren't even relevant, but they worked together to reinforce the strength, nonetheless. After I was done, I turned towards the communal kitchen and headed for the decanter of expensive whiskey.
Loki trailed not far behind me, reaching out for something as he stepped behind me. I was about to launch into some speech about how he couldn't always stop me from drinking when he reached for another glass and then left to get some ice. Seems I wasn't the only one in need of a drink. In silence I poured two rather large glasses and he put in the ice before we retreated to the sofa. Neither of us spoke as I let myself space out and he waited for me to be ready. We just sat and drank. I shuddered slightly when I first felt Vision stir and attempt to pass through my shield. Loki didn't say anything or move as we waited for him to eventually use the Mind Stone to break through. It hurt. That had never really happened before. My drink spilt slightly on the sofa and I flinched from the way it felt when he burst through it. It mattered little though, it had been long enough for Wanda to get away. And he knew that, floating over to me before grabbing me by the edge of my shirt. Loki finally went to move forward but hesitated at the sight of us. I stared up at Vision, uncaring, unafraid, and completely numb inside.
"You of all people should have known better."
"I know not to keep someone locked up against their will." My voice was louder than I expected, my toner harsher than I intended, but the slight buzz from the alcohol stopped me caring.
"You could have prevented her from leaving, Kaya."
"We cannot stop her, Vision, as much as you believe we should. It's her choice to leave and that should never have been taken away from her."
"Mr Stark–"
"Tony can shove it up his ass for all I care, Vision. I will not be holding her against her will."
He didn't argue back with me, instead he let go of my colour and left through the ceiling. I sighed before downing my drink.
"Kaya..." He finally uttered. Clearly not knowing how to help. I couldn't blame him. I don't think there was anything he could do.
"This... this is about to get really bad isn't it?"
"I don't know, darling, but I don't think it's going to be good." He watched me, ever-cautious and ever-patient, as if he was waiting with baited-breath for me to completely snap. It wasn't lost on me that we were likely to be alone now, that everyone else in the Compound was heading off with only bare minimum guards to protect me here. Loki would have already made that connection. There was no doubt that he would ask me again to leave for Asgard soon, and that I'd have to let him down once more. But for tonight neither of us said anything. We saved the argument for another night, letting the sorrow of the night soak up all light there had been as we drank in total silence together.