Bruce: When I'm gone, Jason is Batman.
Dick: Why not me?
Bruce: You're too nice. Everyone will know you aren't the real Batman. If Jason is Batman, they will just think Batman is having a really rough week.
Jason: I'm gonna fuck so many people up.
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Y/n (is short): Could you at least try to see things from my perspective?
Jason: *crouches down, smirking, winking and booking the nose of y/n*
Y/n: I despise you
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(Jason shopping with Dick at the mall)
Jason: Fuck this shit
(Later on the PA system)
Announcer: Jason Todd is lost. He is 6ft tall and has a white streak in his hair. His guardian, Dick Grayson, is waiting for him at the help desk.
Random kid: Are you okay mister?
Jason: IM GONNA FUCKING MURDER HIM!
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Damian: Alfred, you aren't a doctor.
Alfred: No but I was an army medic, which means I can break every bone in your body while naming them
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Bruce: There's something I need to get off my chest
Selina: please say it's your shirt
Bruce: What?
Selina: What?
Bruce: ....
Selina: ....
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Therapist: Now what do we say when we are feeling nervous?
Dick: *throwing it back* My anxiety may be chronic but this ass is iconic.
Thereapist: You're halfway there-
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⚠️tw: sewrslidal idiation⚠️
Fake tim: Shoot him Jason! He's the fake one!
Real tim: yes, shoot me please
Fake tim to real tim: are you ok?
Jason: The real tim would never pass up an opportunity *shoots fake tim*
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(Jason meeting Damian for the first time)
Damian: I am death! I am DESTRUCTION! you should fear me todd!
Jason: You're literally the youngest one here. You haven't even hit puberty yet!
Tim, deadpanning: You should listen to him.i know from personal experience that this one here can easily kill a man. I've seen him stab someone while laughing. Its terrifying knowing that this rasin can kill a man.
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Nightwing: What you are doing is illegal!
Harley quinn: I'm not taking a warning from someone who has the gall to pronounce the "g" in "lasagna."
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Dick: we have to finfmd out a way to cut down on living expenses
Tim: Well, what can we live without?
Jason, without hesitation: Damian.
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All right my lovely degenerate readers and simps for the batfamily of which I count myself in. Here ya go. Take yer soup.