Everything started to hurt.
My head all the way down to my toes were aching. The pain pills wore off faster than I wanted.
I expected them to work for at least twelve hours but it wasn't the case.
I needed more.
"Julia?" Nate asked as I took a sip of my water, trying to distract myself from the pain that was weaseling it's way back into my life.
"Hmm?" I hummed and looked at him. "You doing okay?" He asked as I shook my head.
I didn't really know what to say because I was in so much pain and I felt like a broken record but I was sick of feeling like this.
It felt like I was only at the beginning of this journey. I just made it even worse by taking those pills, and that's what sucked the most.
When Colby came back into the room he didn't look at me. He just went to his desk and started working.
"Leave Nate." He said after a couple seconds of silence.
Nate didn't say anything as he stood up and left the room.
Colby didn't look up or acknowledge me even once for the next hour or so. It made me feel like he was mad or upset with me.
I tried to stay silent so that I wouldn't piss Colby off even more but I was struggling.
The cold sweats were back and I felt sick to my stomach.
I was craving something to numb the pain and numb the feelings but part of me knew it would make everything worse.
I also knew if I asked then Colby would get mad and say no.
"Alright. Ready to go home?" Colby asked as I looked up at him. "Are you mad at me?" I asked quietly.
"Huh? No." He said and stood up. "I-I know I fucked up...but please don't be mad at me." I said quietly.
"I don't hate you and I'm not mad at you, Julia. Come on, you don't look like you're feeling good." He said and held his hand out.
I stood up and took his hand, ignoring the fact that he was acting weird. I don't know what exactly was going on but something was off.
Colby wouldn't tell me what was going on though, no matter how many times I asked.
"How are you feeling?" Colby asked as we walked down the hall. "I'm hurting." I said as he sighed and wrapped his arm around me.
"I know, darling. When we get home we'll get you in a bath. That might help." He said as we got to the elevator.
"Why didn't you talk to me when you got back to the room?" I asked quietly.
"I thought you wanted to go home. I needed to get my work done." He said with a tone that was only mildly convincing.
"Don't lie to me." I mumbled. "Why would you think I'm lying?" Colby asked as I sighed.
"Because you are." I said, not looking at him. "I'm not lying, Julia." He said then led me towards the car.
"Then you're not being fully truthful." I said blandly. "Julia. Stop." Colby said with annoyance.
"No, Colby. You stop!" I snapped, looking up at him. "I know I'm fucked up right now but I'm not a child. You don't get to lie to me!" I said as he rolled his eyes.
"I'm not lying to you because I think you're a child." He said as anger swelled up in me. "So you admit you're lying?!" I yelled and got in his face.
"Julia, STOP." Colby bellowed. "I don't have to tell you what's going on in my head at any given moment. I wasn't lying now fucking drop it before I make you." He said as I clenched my jaw.
"What are you gonna do? I'm already fucking miserable. There's nothing you can do to make me feel any fucking worse." I said and glared at him.
"Good." He said then opened my door. "Get in the damn car." He said as squinted at him.
"Don't tell me what to fucking do." I said as he groaned.
"Alright. This isn't gonna fucking work for me." He said then slammed my door and turned to go towards the elevator again.
"Where are you going?" I asked as he shook his head, continuing to walk.
I watched as he opened the elevator and walked in. "Colby!" I huffed out as the doors closed, leaving me all alone in the garage.
As soon as he was gone I felt my eyes swelling with tears.
"AUGHH!!" I screamed and kicked Colby's car. I was so beyond annoyed with him because I knew he was hiding something from me.
I knew we weren't equals when it came to the gang. I knew he didn't have to share anything with me, but it hurt so bad when he hid things.
It freaked me out considering who my father was and it made me believe that he had something to do with it.
Part of me wanted to go and find my father so I could beg him to leave us alone.
I would promise him whatever he wanted, as long as he left Colby and his gang alone.
It wasn't their fault that I was his daughter and it wasn't their fault that I chose Colby over him.
Even if I was incredibly mad at Colby right now, I loved him and I knew he loved me.
He cared about me more than my father did.
I expected Colby to come back after a couple of minutes but the minutes turned to hours.
The pain in my body and mind got worse the longer I sat in the cold garage, my back leaned against Colby's car.
The longer I sat there, the worse my thoughts were getting.
I wanted to get up and leave so I could find something to numb my pain. I wanted to run away so I wouldn't have to fight with Colby anymore.
Things just weren't that easy though.
After a couple hours the elevator door finally opened.
"Julia?" Sam asked as I looked up at him. "What are you doing up here? Where's Colby?" He asked and came over to me.
"W-we had a f-fight." I trembled, holding my stomach since it was in so much pain.
"So he left you up here?" Sam asked as I nodded. "That's so fucked. Come on, I'll take you home." Sam said as I nodded struggled to stand.
"Woah..hey..are you okay?" He asked and came over to me. "I-it hurts." I gasped, feeling like I was going to throw up.
"You don't look very good." He said and helped me stand. "I'm in so much pain." I whimpered. "Come on, let's get you home." Sam said and helped me to his car.
"I-is Colby okay?" I asked as I limped to the car. "Not for fucking long." Sam said with annoyance.
I didn't know if he was aggravated with Colby because of the fight I had with him or if he really meant that Colby was in danger.
It didn't matter right now.
Sam got me in his car then started driving me home. "Are you hungry?" He asked as we drove.
"I want the pain to go away." I said and scrunched my face, holding my stomach.
"It's a withdrawal symptom. It'll go away in a couple of days." Sam said with a sigh. "I'm sorry this is going on. You don't deserve it." He said quietly.
"It just fucking sucks." I cried out, tears stinging my eyes.
"Yeah, it really does. You're strong though and we're gonna help you through it. You just have to want to get better." He said and glanced over at me.
"You have to try and fight the urges if you see a pill bottle. I know it seems impossible but you have to fight." Sam said as I nodded.
I didn't know what to say and frankly I was in too much pain to even care.
I knew Sam was right but that wasn't the easiest task. It felt like an impossible task if we're being honest.
When we got home, Sam brought me up to my room.
"Uh...I think I'm supposed to sit with you." He said and pursed his lips.
"Leave me alone to die." I mumbled as he chuckled. "Stop with that." He said then sighed. "I'm gonna get you some water and a snack. Just sit tight." He said then left the room.
When he left I felt myself starting to break down slightly.
I hated that I actually pissed Colby off and that he wasn't here with me.
I was grateful for Sam though, since he was like a brother to me. He wasn't going to let me suffer on my own while Colby was mad at me.
It just showed how great of a person he was no matter what career he was in.