Carleigh Jade Revaz
"Carleigh!" I can still hear Sebastian. Sinusundan nya parin ako hanggang sa makarating ako dito sa likod ng bahay. I don't know what I am going to feel. I feel so embarrassed on all the people around me. I look like stupid. Pero hindi lang 'yon, nag-sinungaling silang lahat sa akin.
"Carleigh please let us talk!" Sebastian said and I just felt his hands on my wrist. I look at his hands who's now holding me. Hindi ko alam kung kaya ko pa syang tingnan ngayon. I'm useless and I don't have anything anymore. I suddenly felt a distance between us. Parang bigla syang lumayo sa akin.
"I will understand if you're going to be mad at me. But please, atleast let me explain." I heard him said pero tinanggal ko lang ang kamay nya sa braso ko saka ako umiwas ng tingin sa kanya.
"I don't know what I am going to believe anymore Sebastian. Ni hindi ko na alam kung totoo pa ba lahat ng nangyari sa atin! Kung totoo ka ba?!" Frustrated na sabi ko sa kanya. I'm starting to think, pinilit lang ba sya nina Mom na gustuhin ako para hindi ko malaman ang sitwasyon?
"I am true to you Carleigh. Believe it or not, this is all my will. Totoong gusto kita. Mahal kita kaya ikaw ang gusto kong pakasalan."
"Really? Or this is just one of our family's plan? And you know that we're just arranged marriage from the very beginning? Kaya ba bigla ka na lang dumating sa buhay ko? At 'yong pagpapanggap mo na ibang tao? Kasama ba 'yon sa mga plano nyo?" Naiinis na sabi ko sa kanya. Ayoko mang magalit pero hindi ko mapigilan ang sarili ko. Pinagkaisahan nila akong lahat habang naniniwala ako na isang malaking coincidence at fairy tale ang lahat.
"I never planned to meet you in my life Carleigh. The first time I met you was 5 years ago! We we're just kid back then but you know what? You already catched my attention and you teach that kid how to fall in love that easily! Pumunta ako dito para sayo at hindi para sa arranged marriage na 'to! Please believe me Carleigh, I love you truthfully. Maybe I fool you about everything that happened but my feelings for you was never been a lie. It's all true for pete sake!"
"Y-You what? Met me 5 years ago?" Hindi makapaniwalang sabi ko sa kanya. Wala akong naaalala na nakita ko na sya kahit isang beses.
"That day, it was your birthday. Year 2017 on the month of September. It was an autumn in Seoul that time. And it's my favorite season so I will never forget that day when I met you. The first time I laid my eyes on you, I already know that something has changed on me. From that moment you already changed something on me Carleigh. But now, if you're really going to blame me and leave me because I lied to you, hindi kita pwedeng pilitin na gustuhin ako. Siguro hindi kita ganon napamahal sa akin so I will just blame myself instead. That if I just make you fall in love with me even more, maybe you will not choose to let me go. I'm sorry." He seriously said before he turned his back on me.
Is he going to leave me already? Iiwan nya na ba ako ng ganon ganon na lang? Babalik na ba sya sa Seoul? He can't do this to me!
Naikuyom ko ang kamay ko saka ako naiinis na bumaling sa katabi kong orchids at pinutol ang bulaklak non saka ko 'yon ibinato sa kanya. Napatigil sya dahil doon.
"How dare you turn your back on me? Am I already letting you go? You lied to me and I didn't said anything yet that you're already done explaining everything on me! Are you really like this? I am so clueless right now so please help me to understand! This is when I need you the most and you're going to turn your back on me?! Is this the part where you're going to leave me? How dare you do this to your Ali ?!" Nanunumbat na sigaw ko sa kanya kaya napalingon sya sa akin. He is looking at me intently but I can't ready what's on his mind. Gusto kong ihakbang ang mga paa ko papalit sa kanya pero ayokong subukan na gawin 'yon dahil sya ang may kasalanan at nagsinungaling dito. Pero lumipas ang ilang segundo pero hindi parin sya lumalapit sa akin. I bit my lower lip to stop myself from crying. And before I could shed a tears in front of him, ako na mismo ang tumalikod sa kanya.
"I was just going to get some ice cream to make you feel better. Anong sinasabi mo dyan na iiwan kita?" Napatigil ako sa paglalakad nang marinig ko ang boses na 'yon. Kasabay non ay naramdaman ko na lang ang yakap nya mula sa likod ko. Napaangat ang tingin ko para pigilan ang nagbabadyang luha sa mata ko.
"How can a simple ice cream change everything that already happened between us?"
"If that ice cream is not enough, am I not enough too to change everything that happened between us?"
"But you lied to me. Are you still going to like me if I'm just nothing but a beggar? Lahat ng sinasabi ng mga tao sa school, it was really the truth. I can't imagine my life anymore Sebastian."
"Stop saying that things Carleigh. I didn't like you because of what you have. I fall for you because you're simple Carleigh Jade Revaz. I don't care if you're not the same anymore. Me and my family is ready to save you've lost. We can help you to gain everything again. I'm still here Carleigh and I'm ready to give everything you need. Everything you want. I can provide for us so you don't have to worry. All you have to do for me is make yourself stay until you can." I let out a deep breath when I heard that from him.
"I will just take you for granted if I marry you with that reason Sebastian." Pikit matang sabi ko sa kanya. Kung pati ang school namin ay kaylangan nang ipamahala kina Tita Ariane, siguradong hindi lang kami basta naghihirap. The university is the most important to me and Dad knows that. Hindi sya magdedesisyon ng ganon na lang kung hindi kaylangan. So, we're really going to lost everything habang wala akong kaalam alam at patuloy lang ang pagwaldas ko ng pera namin na parang walang bukas. And for sure, this is the reason why I saw Mom and Dad so busy this passed few weeks. This is the problem.
"What do you mean? Are you going to cancel our engagement?" Nagtatakang tanong nya sa akin at naramdaman ko na lang na nasa harapan ko na sya.
"Lalabas lang na ginagamit kita at ang pamilya mo kung-"
"No! Huwag mo nang ituloy ang sasabihin mo. Kung yan lang ang iniisip mo hindi ako papayag!"
"Sebastian, ayokong mag-bago ang tingin sayo ng mga tao. I don't want to use you!" Nahihirapan ko nang sabi sa kanya.
"What? I don't f*cking care about what they are going to think about me! I have a lot of money to waste at hindi sa kanila ang ginagastos ko so who cares?! I'm ready to give everything I have for you? J-Just..J-Just don't cancel our engagement Carleigh. Please!" Halos tonong nagmamamakaawa na sabi nya sa akin. Kaya napailing na lang ako sa kanya.
"I'm not breaking up with you Sebastian. We're just going to cancel our engagement. We should talk to our parents about this. Ayokong pati kayo ay madamay sa lahat ng issue namin. N-Naghihirap na kami." Nahihiyang sabi ko sa kanya.
"You're not breaking up with me so why do you need to cancel our engagement?" Nafrufrustatrate na sabi nya sa akin. Napabuntong hininga ulit ako sa kanya saka ako napatingin sa kamay ko kung nasaan ang engagement ring namin ni Sebastian.
"I am so sure about you Carleigh. Sayo lang ang singsing na 'yan." He said at pilit pa nyang isinuksuk ulit ang singsing sa kamay ko nang makita nya na nakatingin ako doon kahit na hindi ko pa naman 'yon tinatanggal.
"This ring is not only the reason why we love each other Sebastian. I love you with all myself. Kahit wala 'to ay kaya parin kitang mahalin." Pagpapaliwanag ko sa kanya.
"No! If you're not really ready to marry me, I can wait for you. I don't care if it would take so long. Kahit habang buhay pa ako mag-hintay wala akong pakialam! Just don't give up this assurance for me Carleigh. I don't want to think that you changed your mind on the idea of marrying me." He said. Halos hindi ko sya makilala sa paraan ng pakikipag-usap nya sa akin ngayon. And it hurts me seeing him like this. Alam kong sya ang tipo ng tao na hindi nakikiusap o nagmamakaawa and I can't bear to see him this way.
"I still want to marry you Sebastian. You're the only man I am dreaming of marrying. It's just that, we can't rush this things immediately. Ayokong magbago ang tingin ng lahat sayo. Gusto mo bang isipin nila na nagpapagamit ka sa pamilya ko? Na hinahayaan mo na perahan kita para lang makaahin ulit sa pagkakadapa ng kompanya namin? Ayokong isipin nila na papakasaan kita dahil kaylangan ka namin." Mahinahon na pagpapaliwanag ko sa kanya pero nakita ko lang ang pag-igting ng panga nya. Napahawak sya sa noo nya saka sya tumingin sa akin.
"Why do you need to think other people might think to us? Tayo lang ang mahalaga dito Carleigh! Why don't you stop caring about other people? They're just nothing to us?!"
"If they will just think that way only to me. I am ready to hear all that painful words. But if it's you? I can't bear to heard that words from them Sebastian. Dahil alam ko naman sa sarili ko ang totoo. Kaylangan ng kasal natin para makaahon sa pagka-bankrupt ang kompanya namin. Para hindi kami mag-hirap! I know that truth Sebastian! At kahit ikaw hindi mo 'yon maiitanggi di ba?" Pag-eexplain ko sa kanya pero sinagot nya lang ako ng iling.
"I don't f*cking care Carleigh! I told you maghihintay naman ako sayo kung kaylan handa ka na magpakasal sa akin. Just don't cancel our engagement. We will be engage until the day of our wedding."
"If you're really going to wait for me, we don't need to have this kind of arrangement. Hihintayin mo ako kahit wala ang engagement na ito." I said to him but he just answered me with nothing. Tanging iling lang at parang wala talaga syang balak na tanggapin ang gusto ko kaya napipilitan na akong hinubad ang singsing sa kamay ko. Ito ang unang beses na hinubad ko ito simula nang ibinigay nya sa akin ito. But I think, this isn't the right time to cherish this ring. Everything has changed.
"I need to do this Sebastian. I love you at ayokong madamay ka. They bullied me already and I don't want you to be hurt too. Kaya naman kitang mahalin kahit wala sa akin ang singsing na ito. Just give it to me when everything is already fine. And don't worry. I will talk to Mom and Dad. Stay as a son of my parent's business partners for a while. But I promise, hindi 'yon magtatagal. After I do my part, I will going to marry you. Wala ng engagement papakasalan na kita." I said saka ko kinuha ang kamay nya at ilalagay na sana doon ang singsing nang isara nya ang palad nya.
"I won't accept that Carleigh. If we really need to stop this engagement for a while, let's just stop. Huwag mong isosoli sa akin ang bagay na ibinigay ko na sayo. Because if I gave it you, ibig sabihin lang non na para sayo talaga 'yon. And this ring, this is only for you. You can keep that yourself." He said saka nya binawi ang kamay nya at naglakad papasok doon sa bahay. Napaupo na lang ako sa sobrang frustration.
I don't know what I'm going to do anymore!