Back at the dance, everything seemed the same. Derek had cautiously re-approached the swarms of happy, dressed-up, dancing people after Meredith had been called from the exam room, leaving him alone. What had happened with Izzy, he didn't know, but he knew his girlfriend was needed. It felt surreal to be back in the midst of all the hospital staff so soon after his experience in the exam room. That had definitely never happened between them before. He had barely been able to make out shapes of people as he and Meredith had rushed from the dance floor to a more private place. But, luckily for them, they seemed to have flown under the radar, as he couldn't detect any accusing glances.
Still able to smell the lavender of her conditioner on himself, Derek strode across the room to get a drink. He nodded a friendly hello to a few nurses and doctors as he passed them, but found himself disconcerted that after eight months of working at Seattle Grace, the only people he felt comfortable stopping to actually talk with in this type of situation were five interns, one resident, his ex-wife, Preston Burke and the Chief. All five interns were in disposed, dealing with whatever crisis had now befallen Izzy Stevens. Bailey was nowhere to be seen. Preston was lying in a hospital bed upstairs, recovering from the operation Derek had performed the night before. And the Chief had slept with Meredith's mother twenty years ago.
Derek grimaced as he swallowed a sip of the punch he had already deemed 'terrible.' It hadn't gotten any better in the past hour. He caught sight of Addison cautiously making her way towards him and offered her a reassuring smile. The humour was not lost on him that, although he was surrounded with people he worked with every day, his ex-wife was the only one he could begin to talk with. It also wasn't lost on him that he could still feel Meredith's body against his own, could still smell her, could still taste her. And it almost gave him joy that it was all so innocent, that Addison would come over and speak to him and never know.
Things had been better between them over the past couple months. They had worked together on a few cases without any problems, and had even become more than just civil when passing in the halls. Derek would even go so far as to say their interactions were approaching friendly. They weren't friends, and Derek wasn't sure how close they would ever get to being so, but progress was being made.
"Hey," she greeted evenly as she reached for her own cup of punch.
"Hey," he replied. "I wouldn't do that if I were you."
Addison paused, her plastic glass inches from her lips. "What?"
"The punch." He lifted his glass to emphasize his point and shook his head. "Not worth it."
"It can't be that bad."
He shrugged. "Your call; just thought I'd warn you."
She took a small sip and made a face. "Ugh, that's terrible."
Derek nodded. "Told you." He laughed as she tossed her cup into the trash. "You just get here?"
She sighed. "Not exactly. I wasted as much time as I could checking on my patients before making my way down here. I went to prom when I was eighteen. I never expected to be going again twenty years later."
He laughed. "Yeah, it's interesting, that's for sure." He had definitely never expected to attend a prom. But, he mused, if he had to, Meredith was definitely the one he wanted to be there with. He had been on his way to the ferry when he had passed the flower shop that afternoon. And before he had even realised what he was doing, he had turned his car around and steered into the parking lot to order a corsage. He had already known that he wanted to pick her up and do the whole 'prom' thing right, but the corsage had been a last minute idea. From what he had heard about her childhood so far, he knew she had been far too disillusioned by the time she had finished high school to care about prom. She deserved the memory, even if it was ten years late for her. And, truth be told, he wanted the memory too. The look on her face when he had presented her with the small purple flower had made his day. She had never been made to feel special before. She had never expected anything from other people. But she deserved to feel special. And he made a mental note to do more things for her. She wasn't materialistic, and he knew it would upset her for him to start buying her extravagant gifts, but he would find smaller things for her, like the flower.
"I spent my first prom listening the Skippy Gold talking about Star Wars," Addison offered, pulling Derek from his reverie.
Derek snorted. "I didn't go to mine."
"Why not?"
He shrugged. "Wasn't my thing."
"Was Derek Shepherd too cool for prom in high school?" She asked jokingly.
Derek met the laughing gaze of his ex-wife and wondered why, in over a decade of marriage, they hadn't ever spoken about their high school years. "No," he said eventually, shaking his head. "Not cool enough."
"I don't believe that," she retorted, her voice still full of laughter, challenging him to admit his joke.
"Believe it. I was kind of a geek in high school. Straight As. Played in the band. Never skipped a single class."
"I would never have guessed."
He nodded. She may never have guessed, but she should have known. He should have told her. And he vaguely wondered how much more they hadn't shared about themselves that they should have. How much did she know about his childhood? His father? His hopes and dreams? How much had he shared, and how much had he held back? How much did Meredith already know that Addison had never been told?
"Chess club too?" She continued.
He laughed and shook his head. "Nah, I wasn't that bad. Though, I did spend one semester with the mathletes..."
She laughed. "Me too, although it was more like two years..."
He chuckled. "Just goes to show you how much can change after high school."
"Not much," she said honestly. "I was a science geek in high school, and now I'm a surgeon. I was single in high school, and am again now. I still put my foot in my mouth a lot. I had no social skills, and-"
"You have social skills," he cut in. "They may not be finely tuned, but they are there."
She rolled her eyes at his gentle prodding. "Funny."
"I thought so." He smiled and hesitated, glancing around quietly. "So, did you...come with someone?"
She raised an eyebrow and surveyed him. "Are we crossing a conversational line here?"
He shrugged. "Maybe; but I think we can handle it. We're making progress."
"We are making progress," she agreed.
"You don't have to tell me," he told her lightly. Maybe they weren't far enough to touch on those things yet. "I just thought-"
She shook her head. "No, it's okay. I think you're right; we can handle it. And no, I didn't come with anyone." She hesitated, something more on the tip of her tongue.
He tilted his head ever so slightly, still able to read her, even if the ability wasn't as finely tuned as it had once been. "What?"
She met his gaze hesitantly. "I guess I am seeing someone...sort of."
"Mark?" Derek questioned, uncertain whether he wanted the answer or not. He hadn't spoken to Addison for a week after Mark had shown up in Seattle. He had been angry; but much more at Mark than Addison. Mark had been his brother. Mark had been there for every family holiday Derek could remember. Mark had been his best friend, his family. And your family isn't supposed to make a move on your wife.
Addison quickly shook her head. "No. And I promise you, Derek, I had nothing to do with him showing up last month."
"It's okay if you did. I was angry before, but now...it's just okay if you did." He couldn't explain why he was finding it easier and easier to forgive Addison, but not Mark. Maybe it was because he had to deal with her every day, and not him. Maybe it was because he knew their marriage had been on the rocks before her actions. Maybe it was because leaving Addison had led him to Meredith.
"You're seriously telling me you'd be okay if I went out with Mark?" She raised one finely manicured eyebrow.
Derek took a deep breath. "Look, I hated you two for what you did. But I'm trying to move on, and to do so, I need to let go. And I don't hate you, Addy. I want you to be happy too. And if it's Mark that makes you happy, then..." He shrugged. "Then I'll deal." And he would. He would force himself to be okay with it, and he would live his life...and hope in the back of his mind that Mark would convince her to move back to New York, and not wind up in Seattle too.
"She really is good for you."
"What?"
Addison smiled. "Meredith. She really is good for you. You're like a whole different person."
His lips curled into a smile unbidden. He knew she was right. "I feel different."
"Good. I'm glad you're happy. Derek."
"Thanks. And I hope you're happy too."
She took a breath. "I'll get there. The guy isn't Mark," she told him. "He's just a guy."
Derek raised an eyebrow. "Just a guy?"
"A nice guy. We've only been out a few times...well, okay two times, but he's nice..."
"Yeah, you said that already."
She sighed. "It's just...hard, you know? The dating life. It's been a long time. But he really is nice."
"Why didn't you invite him here?"
She laughed. "Yeah, that would have gone over well; how would you like to get dressed up and accompany me to a prom at my hospital where my ex-husband works?"
Derek snorted. "You may have a point..."
"Yeah, I don't need to scare him off already." She smiled. "So...where's Meredith?"
"I'm not sure. She got called away to deal with something to do with Izzy."
Addison nodded. "Something to do with what happened last night?"
Derek shrugged. "I don't know. Callie, uh, Dr. Torres, came to get her and they disappeared pretty quickly."
Addison hesitated. "Can I...ask what happened last night?"
He offered her a wry smile. "You can ask..."
"But you won't tell me," she finished.
"I can't tell you. I don't know."
"She didn't tell you?"
He shook his head. "It's not a good thing for me to know. It complicated things, causes problems. She knows I'd stand up for them, even if it was bad for me."
"So, she's protecting you?"
He nodded. "And them."
Addison paused for a moment, before continuing in a lighter tone. "I like her, Derek."
He was surprised by her honest words, but recovered quickly. "I like her too."
"Obviously." She rolled her eyes.
He laughed.
"I mean it, Derek. I was...wrong for a long time. And I said things, a lot of things, and I'm sorry. Because I believe you now. It really wasn't a midlife crisis or anything. You really do love her."
Derek nodded. "I do."
"And she really loves you."
Again, he nodded.
She took a breath. "For what it's worth, I'm glad I did what I did. I'm sorry that I hurt you, Derek, and I'm sorry that I destroyed a lifelong friendship, but I'm glad. Because I've never seen you as happy as you have been this year, and I've known you for a long time."
Derek sighed. "I think I'm glad too."
"You know, this is so far from where I would have pictured us a year ago..."
"Yeah, it really is."
"But I am glad for you, Derek," she told him, only a hint of tears in her eyes. "She's good for you."
"Thank-you, Addy. Coming from you...well, that means a lot."
A silence fell between them, with only a hint of awkwardness. They were learning to converse as 'friends.' He didn't hate her anymore, and he still did care about her. If it would work, he wanted to be her friend. They could talk about things together. He briefly debated mentioning that he was taking Meredith home that weekend, but it was then that Derek caught sight of Richard and Bailey across the room, motioning for him to come over. He felt his heart constrict suddenly, realizing that something was very wrong. All thoughts of anger towards the Chief for his actions with Ellis Grey were gone from Derek's head in a heart beat.
He quickly made his way across the floor, Addison right behind him. "Chief," he greeted questioningly. "What's going on?" He shifted his gaze between Richard and Bailey. They both knew something he did not. There was sadness in Miranda's eyes.
"Do you know where Grey is?" Richard asked quietly. "Or any of Bailey's interns?"
Derek shook his head. "No..."
"I'm looking for Izzy Stevens in particular."
"Callie came," Derek supplied. "She came to get Meredith a little while ago; said it was something to do with Izzy." He looked up. "What's going on?"
Richard sighed heavily, but before he could respond Bailey's gaze caught of something behind Derek. "Chief," she said quietly, catching his attention.
Derek turned to catch sight of Izzy, wearing in a pink dress over her body and a broken expression across her face, heading towards them. Alex and George were flanking her, only a step behind. And Meredith trailed the three of them, her eyes bloodshot with unshed tears. He didn't have to ask to know what had happened. "Damn it," he swore under his breath.
Izzy barely glanced at them as she walked past, the boys not making a move to stop either. Meredith caught his gaze and hesitated, her steps wobbly as she fought to decide whether to go to him for comfort or keep up with her friend. In the end, she didn't have to decide.
Izzy paused after she had passed them, and turned back, her large, expressive eyes filled with tears. "It was me," she practically whispered. "I cut his L-VAD wire. I did it; no one helped me," she admitted to the Chief. "And now... I thought I was a surgeon, but..." She trailed off as the tears began to trail down her cheeks. "I can't. I thought I was a surgeon, but I am not." She paused for a breath. "So, I quit." With that, Izzy Stevens turned away from them and headed for the stairs, ignoring Dr. Bailey as she called after her fallen intern.
George and Alex turned to follow her, but Meredith stood, frozen, watching her roommate walk away. With tears stinging the backs of his eyes with surprising force, Derek stepped forward to wrap his arms around his trembling girlfriend. "Shhh..." He whispered into her hair as she stood rigidly in his arms, the tremors running through her body and harsh gasps in her chest the only indication she was a living, breathing person.
Derek splayed his palms over her spine and ran them up and down, comforting her as best he could. "He died," she whispered suddenly. "Denny died. He's...dead."
"I know. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
Her breathing hitched and she moved in his arms, clutching to the lapels of his tux so tightly that her fingers turned white. "He died..." She repeated.
"Shh..." He whispered again, holding her tight and guiding her face into the crook of his neck. He rested his chin on her shoulder and whispered whatever comforting phrases he could think of to calm her. "I'm here. I'm here..."
Bailey, Richard and Addison stared back at him from behind her, all three looking as shocked at the situation as he felt. The Chief may have stepped forward to say something to Meredith the previous day, but after her accusations that morning, he knew better than to try it now. Derek didn't even have to send him a warning glance. Bailey stood broken by his side, unable to comprehend the hit her intern had just taken, and her role in it. He was surprised when Addison sent him a supportive smile, but he was grateful for it as a moment of understanding passed between them. This was exactly where he needed to be, and Addison was moving on.
Meredith sniffed in his arms as the tears truly began to fall. He squeezed his arms around her, belaying as much support as he could. Addison glanced behind him and then back at him several times before he felt the eyes on his back. Their scene was apparently attracting the questioning eyes of other hospital employees. He nodded gently to Addison, thankful for her warning and carefully pulled away from his girlfriend.
She gazed up at him through moist eyes, still trembling in his arms. He offered her a warm smile and tenderly wiped the excess moisture from her cheeks with his thumbs. "Come on," he said eventually. "Let's go home."
Meredith took a deep breath and nodded before releasing her iron grip on his jacket. She avoided the curious onlookers and tucked herself close to him. He wrapped his arm tightly around her small frame and led her towards the front lobby. Once they reached the double doors marking the end of their inside journey he paused and turned to her. The weather seemed to have matched itself to their moods. The overcast sky that had been threatening all day was raining down on the city, dark and stormy and morose.
"Did you want to wait here while I get the car?" They had stashed their jackets in Derek's office, but he didn't want to drag her through the hospital to retrieve them. He needed to get her home.
She shook her head.
"Mer, it's raining..."
"So? You'll get wet too."
He nodded, brushing his hands over her bare arms. "Yes, but I'm wearing more than you. I don't want you to get sick."
"I'll be fine."
"Mer..."
She shook her head. "No, please, Derek. I just..." Her breathing hitched and she clutched at his arm, as if he would run from her side if she let go. "I don't want to wait. I...I need to go with you."
"I'd only be a minute."
She took a deep breath and met his eyes. "I don't want to be away from you," she whispered.
Derek felt his heart constrict at her quiet honesty. He didn't want to be away from her either, even if just for a moment. "Okay," he relented. "Come on, then."
She took his hand and together they made there way out, into the storm.