The wooden wheels creak and groan under the weight, trudging through the mud. Although it seemed like a strange suggestion, I didn't rebel against it, needing to get out of that horrid castle and into the sun. I take a deep breath, relishing in the fresh air as I lean back in the wooden wheeled chair.
"Admit it. You've been looking for an excuse to use me as your personal slave," Gwaine huffs, pushing the wheeled chair up the last stretch of hill. Well, it's not really a hill, more like a gradual elevation.
I smirk. "If I was turning you into a slave, Gwaine, there are several chores I would have you doing besides pushing me around in a wheeled chair."
Gwaine blows a raspberry in defiance, his spit falling all over the top of my head. I shriek, flinching away in disgust, trying to avoid the projectile.
"If I didn't know you, I would almost think that statement was an invitation to your bed," Gwaine thinks aloud, no longer struggling as we find flat ground. "Although I suppose you have Leon for that now."
I gasp, turning in the seat to smack him. Gwaine shrinks away, trying to dodge my advances and continue pushing me simultaneously.
"You are insufferable, Gwaine!" I whine, turning back in my seat defiantly to hide the glowing red of my cheeks.
"But seriously though, are you and Leon a thing now? Or not?" Gwaine demands. "Because I am so confused."
"And what exactly has elected you to ask in your confusion?" I request, waving air in my face to try and calm my burning cheeks.
I can practically feel Gwaine's cocky grin through the back of my skull. "Oh well, seeing as it was Leon's hand you wanted to hold when you were in pain, and it was Leon you requested to be there for Gaius' assistant, and that it was Leon who was by your bedside twenty-four seven–"
"Okay, okay, I get your point", I interrupt, ushering him to a stop with my hand. "So what if we were?"
"Uh, well, for one, it would be about damn time", Gwaine shrieks behind me, pulling us to a stop in a field overseeing a stream. The knight appears by my side, his bruises almost completely gone. "And I need god-children so–"
"Hey, hey, slow it down there, Mom", I retaliate, instantly feeling uncomfortable with the mention of children. That is the last thing I have on my mind right now. Not that I did before either. Maybe one day, but I would like to live my life for now! "All that's happened is we agree we like one another, nothing yet to report, sir."
Gwaine smirks, hands shoved in his pockets. He rocks on his heels like a child receiving a present. "I'm going to have to give that git a few tips on how to ask a lady to court him properly."
I narrow my eyes up at Gwaine, turning to look out at the stream defiantly. "I think the last thing Leon needs is courting advice from you."
Gwaine gasps as if offended. "You do not think my methods appropriate."
I raise an eyebrow, glancing over to Gwaine with a questionable expression. "I most certainly do not."
Gwaine grumbles like a child, crossing his arms. "I dislike you somedays."
I smirk, shoving Gwaine with my hand. "Oh, come on, you love me."
The two of us chuckle, enjoying a moment of silence in each other's presence as we bake in the sun and breathe in the fresh air. Despite being unable to feel the soft soil under my feet, I do not mind. Even without using my legs, I feel far freer than yesterday.
"I do love you", Gwaine offers, his voice soft and distant. "I hope you know that."
His words touch my heart, bringing me to reach for his hand. Gwaine offers me a smile as we lock hands. "I do know that, Gwaine. And I love you too." Gwaine leans down to pull me into an embrace. I squeeze him, glad that he has not changed and will forever be my best friend, my rock through all of this.
"What do you know! Gwaine loves someone other than himself!" A voicer chimes from behind us. We pull from our embrace to find Gwen standing a few feet from us. She has discarded her delicate dresses for a simple coat, leggings and boots, her hair pinned back in a braid.
"Gwen!" I cry, wanting to turn and run to her but being reminded of my constraints. Having already made a sprint toward us, Gwen falls to her knees by my side, engulfing me in a tight embrace. Tears of joy sting my eyes as I embrace the queen, friend, and family.
Gwen sobs in joy. "It's so good to see you."
I chuckle back tears, but that fails me, a few escaping my eye. "I've missed you so much...."
Gwen squeezes me tighter. "I was so worried! I didn't know where to look. I didn't want anyone to know you were gone–it was so hard-"
"I'm so sorry, Gwen", I croak, closing my eyes tightly shut in regret. "I wish I could have warned you-"
"No, Edythe, please don't apologise", Gwen sniffles, pulling from our embrace to hold my cheeks in her palms. Tears stain her beautiful cheeks. "You have been so brave, sweetheart. So brave. I am sorry I could not help you."
My chin quivers as I try to stop myself from bursting out in tears from her love and kindness. I pull her into another embrace, hand bunched in her coat to hold her close. Gwen does not retreat, basking in the feeling of being reunited.
"Leitta is a real piece of work, isn't she?" Gwen croaks, trying to lighten the mood.
The two of us burst into laughter, retreating from our hug. "She'll give these men a run for their money."
Gwen snorts. "Please, she's been giving me a few pointers."
"Leitta threatened to ram an iron up my arse if I dared speak to her niece", Gwaine explains, eyes wide in horror at the reminder. "She scares me."
I cackle, my stomach hurting as I lose it at his words. "Oh, Gwaine, making friends as always."
***
His pale flesh glows like a star on the open plain in the rising sun. He looks peaceful in his eternal sleep, fine dark clothes of velvet and silver wrapping him in his noble title. Even in death, Kohl is a glorious sight replaced with his former glory before Ronon defiled his reputation. The silver crow hangs low over his chest. The shining necklace catches my attention—his family crest.
I pull the silver necklace from his pale neck, silently vowing to see it returned to his family estate, to his sister, who will not know how loved and respected her brother was. I will find her and tell her about her brother's great deeds because I owe it to Kohl. I owe a great deal to him, but I will be able to at least this way.
I place a hand on his chest despite the ache, saying a silent fair well. I nod up to Gwaine, the knight pushing the wheeled chair away from the pier and to the next.
Although not draped in fine clothing, Jackson has instead been dressed in chainmail, a sword grasped in his hand to his chest. The tears sting my eyes as I peer over him, eyes turning up to Gwaine and then our friends in the distance. I had asked Arthur to see someone prepare Jackson, seeing as I cannot myself. All of the knights, Arthur included, said they would do it themselves.
They bow their heads to me, even Gwaine standing behind me. I sniff back the tears, eyes falling to Jackson once more. I know deep down what it means. Arthur has knighted him. I close my eyes to hold in tears, knowing that Jackson would have been so shocked that a nobleman, a king, would ever consider him his equal. It would have won his loyalty. Jackson would have been a fine knight of Camelot.
A future I had promised him. One he will never see.
As I place my hand on his and mutter and farewell, my eyes catch the green leaves and various nuts scattered around the pier. It is in a circle around Jackson, as it would be done with the druids. Yet no one here is a druid, and I would not expect them to know our rituals, never mind what kind of leaves and nuts to obtain. I peer over to Merlin in question, the warlock shaking his head. He did not do this...
My eyes fall on Leon, the knight offering me a warm smile. How did he...?
It had been the end of Morgana's reign in Camelot. We had cleaned the castle and had prepared the fallen knights for burial and cremation, depending on the families and their choice. My friends had all been in pain, mourning the death of their fellow knights and friends.
As we watched the piers burn, Leon had asked, "Are there special rituals the druids perform in death?"
I was taken aback but nodded. "Yes, depending on the group you're with and the magic they practice, there are many different rituals."
"And the druids you were with?" He had continued, watching me in curiosity. The conversation seemed to distract him from the grief. "Was there a prefered ritual?"
I didn't want to pain Leon anymore, so I consoled him by distracting him. "Well, the most common was to lay the deceased to face the heavens on a pier and scatter green leaves in a circle around them. Among the leaves would be willow seeds, nuts from an oak and hazelnuts. They link us back to the earth. Then we leave gifts and belongs on the pier with them, and they will accompany them to the afterlife."
Leon had hummed in thought, seemingly lost in his own world. I did not pry, hoping that my words had given him some peace of mind.
He remembered.
The memory choaks me up. Leon knew that Jackson would not find peace in the druids' beliefs, at least not in our ways. He knew that had I been fit to prepare his pier, I possibly would have done so in a traditional way to our childhood. My heart flutters at the gesture as my eyes boil in tears, offering the knight a smile of gratitude.
My eyes fall back on Jackson, my hand still upon his. I lean over the pier to whisper, "May the eternal spirit of light, in peace, guide you in peace from this shore; may she grant you protection and in protection strength...." I take a deep breath, willing the tears to cease. "Return to the earth and in return find peace...may we meet again...."
We return to our friends by the forest's edge, the last of family and friends saying their goodbyes. Gwaine turns me to a stop so I may watch over the piers. Peering up, I take Leon's hand in mine. He glances down with a soft smile, enlacing our fingers. I offer his hand a squeeze in thanks, and he returns it in comfort.
Even in my pain, I do not cry because death is not the end, and it is a journey we must all one day take. Kohl and Jackson knew that, and they accepted death in hopes of a free world. Although none of these people here, myself included, are saints, they were willing to fight for our freedom. I will not forget it.
I feel a weight on my shoulder, glancing up as I realise Arthur has placed a reassuring hand on my shoulder. I nod to him, my brother returning the gesture as we both look over the countless piers. The last people returned to the surrounding crowd.
Leitta emerges from the crowd, draped in a cloak of dark purple velvet. Her grey hair has been braided in great detail, the meaning unknown to me. She raises her hands; head hung low as she wishers a prayer to herself. As her hands release, archers from within the forest release their burning arrows, the piers lighting in a collection of fires. They glimmer like stars on the lighting horizon of dawn.
I watch the flame flicker and crackle before me, ashes freed to the wind as the ancestors of old sweep away their souls to the world hereafter. I can almost feel their embracing farewells kiss my skin as they pass on to the spirit world.
***
"Thank you, Edythe. For everything," Leitta offers, taking my hand in hers. "I promise you. I will see this place burnt to the ground and with it the legacy Ronon created."
Feeling weak, tired from the passing days and the farewells of the dead, I can only muster a tired smile. "I'm glad they have you, Leitta. I know you will see it done."
Leitta bows her head in an oath. "I just wish you could be here to see it through."
"I have faith in you, Leitta", I admit, taking her hands in mine. "My fight here is over, and it is now to you to finish the rebel's work."
The older woman closes her eyes to keep herself from weeping. "You're right...you have given everything to the course. You should go home, rest up, and maybe you can come to visit once you're up and about again."
I offer her a comforting smile and nod even if I know my chances of healing entirely are slim. I'm not sure I'd ever want to revisit this place, even if Leitta is to rebuild it in her image. I also did not tell anyone of Merlin's sacrifice. I would have taken those years if I had been stronger, but unfortunately, it had to be Merlin. As far as everyone knows, it was I who used the stone. No one will ever know.
"I will see."
"Edythe", Leon calls, appearing by my side. The red cloak and pendragon crest have returned to his shoulders, and a fresh set of chainmail is no longer stained in blood. I peer up at him with a fond smile. "It's time to go", he offers, bowing to Leitta.
"You look after this one", Leitta teasingly threats, a smirk playing her chapped lips as she points down at me. "She is a rare gem."
Leon's smile widens, his grey eyes lighting up. "I know she is."
I gush at the remark, eyes returning to Leitta. "Look after yourself, Leitta."
"You too, Edythe. May we meet again" Leitta farewells, bowing her head to me.
"May we meet again."
Leon pulls the wooden wheeled chair to a turn, pushing me toward the horses now geared and ready for the return trip to Camelot. The handful of knights Gwen brought with her bow their heads to me as I pass, and I offer them the same respect. We approach the bay horse, Percival waiting to help move me.
"Thank you, Percival", I offer, gratefully taking his outstretched hand. Leon rushes to my other side, the two knights lifting me onto my good leg and helping me to the bay horse.
Percival takes all my weight as Leon climbs onto the horse, adjusting his seat to accompany me. Even in his tired state, Percival lifts me off the ground as though I am a feather, seating me in front of Leon, who helps my damaged leg glide over the other side of the horse. I grit my teeth in pain, thanking the heavens that Gaius gave me a draft for the pain of a ride home.
"Are you comfortable?" Leon asks, turning into a doting mother hen. It brings a warmness to my soul, a calm after the pain of the passing weeks.
"I'm fine, Leon", I offer. "Thank you."
The others mount their horses, Gwen and Arthur at the head of the group. There are no cheers of farewell, no songs–the rebels wave us on with a bow of gratitude. We all nod to them as we begin the journey home. Leon's arm engulfs me to take the reins in hand, reining our horse to follow the others. I peer over my shoulder to have one last look at the dark castle.
In my childhood, it had been a castle of horrors. It had turned me into a notorious thief. In ways, I should be grateful for it. It taught me all the things I needed to survive all those years, and had it not turned me into a pickpocket, I would never have met my true family. Strangely, I feel a sense of grief for it too. No Ronon, or the family he ruled, just the dark castle. Although it is tainted by darkness and the horrors I faced, there was also a good feeling.
Had it not been for the red tournament, I would never have met Kohl, never learned of Jackson's survival, and maybe never realised I was still blocking myself from love. I owe to this foul place for the love I may yet share with Leon, Arthur and the knights, Merlin, Gaius and Gwen. Who knows who else will come and go in my life.
That is the wonder of living. It's an endless box of surprises. And though those surprises may hurt, there will also be ones that will outweigh the dark ones. It is the cost of living, and it is wondrous.
The first flame flickers to the east, a castle wall bursting into flame. Leitta's plan to bring it all down has already begun. It is the end of a chapter, and I welcome the next with a new hope.
"Are you okay?" Leon asks, noticing that my eyes are fixed in thought on the castle.
I offer Leon a soft smile, nodding softly. "Just...reminiscing", I answer, leaning back into his embrace.
Leon chuckles. "Care to share?"
"Nah. I'll leave it a mystery", I tease, eyes finally pulling away from the castle and to the road ahead. "I think I'm well and truly ready to go home."