The wooden doors close behind me, a haunting silence taking the hall. I take deep, calculated breaths as I stand awkwardly by the door. Ronon's back is to me, the wolf seeming lost in thought as he stands before his throne.
"You asked for me, my lord, " I state, flexing my hands, trying to get rid of their tenseness.
Ronon doesn't respond; his head hangs lower. I glance around him, finding his eyes sealed shut tight in a pained contemplative expression. My eyes scan the room, my lip between my teeth in awkwardness. Nothing seems out of place. The hall is normal.
My heels click against the floor, echoing in the hollow cavern as I take calculated steps toward Ronon. "My lord?" I call, now by his side.
My presence seems to shake Ronon from his thoughts, his eyes opening. They almost seem to clear a haze. His golden eyes search the room for a moment, disorientated, before they fall on me. "Oh, Edythe. Forgive me. I was spirit walking," Ronon offers, rubbing his eyes.
Astral projection. So few sorcerors can do it without getting lost in the ghostly realm, and I never tried it for fear of not being able to return to my body. It is complicated magic that requires years of training and preparation. Perhaps in another time, I would have loved to learn the skill.
I nod, offering a smile of forgiveness. "May I ask why?"
Ronon's eyes fall on me again, a thought flashing across them. Our eyes remain locked for a moment, a thickness in the air between us. It is suffocating, laced with deadly venom. The look sends my stomach plummeting. My swelling of emotions in the corridor with Kohl is long gone, replaced with anxious fear. Has Ronon heard something? Does he now doubt me?
"I needed to see something for myself," Ronon offers, brushing past me. He strolls toward the ledge overseeing the arena. "And needed to clear my mind."
The casual dismissal raises my breathing. Ronon knows something. My teeth clench as I follow behind the wolf with a crippling stiffness. "Is there anything I can help with?" I offer, trying to keep my voice steady. It comes out as a wisp of air.
"No, Edythe. You have done quite enough already," Ronon dismisses, looking over the arena below.
I swallow back the bile in my throat. "May I ask why you summoned me, sire?"
Ronon hums in thought. "Yes, of course. I summoned you because I have a proposition to run by you."
"A proposition?"
"You know that I think of you like family, Edythe", Ronon begins, arms crossing his chest. My lip twitches. Although words such as this should be full of meaning, Ronon somehow manages to make them neutral and unnerving. "That I believe you, my closest ally."
"I think the same of you, my lord", I whisper, trying not to sound small under his authoritative stance, but failing. I have been too confident these passing weeks, and perhaps my deception has gotten me into trouble.
Ronon turns to me, his golden eyes glowing in the darkness. "It is because of that bond that I make you this offer. Join me. Become a true family member once more – take the pledge...And I will release the knights."
My heart ceases to beat, the very earth beneath my feet shifting. Lips parting in shock, I stare back at the wolf with confusion. "W-what?"
"I know that you care for them, Edythe. You always have," Ronon observes. "As long as I have them, you will never fully submit to the family. To being my second. So...I offer their freedom in exchange for your undying loyalty."
My limbs become ice, my entire being a distant blur. I promised myself I would never do such a thing. I only played into his good graces to help my friends and the rebels, but it has worked against me now. I know if the rebels win, accepting Ronon's offer won't matter, but if they don't...I would be stuck here forever. Or die alongside the rebels.
But I can't pass on this opportunity. I have held back because of my friends, my brother. Now I have a chance to see them free. I have an opportunity to do what I set out to do. Damn the consequences. My family were the reason that I did this, the only reason. I would never have joined the rebels if not for them. If they are free, I can give myself to the course, doing whatever it takes to take down Ronon.
I will be an inside source, knowing everything that Ronon does. Being his second, I will know his routine, secrets, and plans. I will not only save my friends but gain access to information.
"I want to show my faith in you so that you may return it", Ronon continues, no emotion behind those eyes.
I shake my head in confusion, my mind racing. "You would give up your finest champions?"
Ronon nods. "If they mean so much to you, I will make this sacrifice. For you, I would make this sacrifice...you are like a daughter to me after all."
My mind races, screaming at me to decline, but I've already decided. No matter how much it pains me, I have to do this. I'm in too far now, and I have no choice. "And...and I will accept your offer. Because you are my family" I lie, bowing before Ronon.
A smirk takes his lips. "I am glad. I will see them released once they have been questioned about that blacksmith boy's whereabouts."
"Thank you. I will not forget your generosity," I sweet talk, already retreating to the giant doors. "I will work to repay it."
"Perfect", Ronon chimes, eyes distant in thought. "Well, as my second, I appoint you with the task of hunting this boy."
I pause in my retreat, bowing once more. "I will see it done, my lord."
Ronon hums in satisfaction. "Best begin with looking into that talisman."
"Of course. I will look into it right away," I offer, shuffling toward the door, already feeling a significant sickness overcoming me.
Ronon watches me leave with a narrowed gaze. "Indeed."
***
The cavern is quiet. Most of the torches have gone out, with all of Ronon's men being pulled to do various tasks and the competitors having to do their separate interrogations. I don't doubt Jackson will be hunted, Ronon exhausting all sources to find him. Yet, it will be to no success. I continue into the cavern, not even gaining a second glance from the guard, who continues to sharpen his sword even when I descend the stairs.
I walk past all the empty cells, only a few harbouring some men, the number of competitors scary low with the death toll and the integrations going on upstairs. I only pray that none of the knights know anything about Jackson's whereabouts, Ronon having his methods of extracting information.
I come to the cell that the knights have been sharing. I let out a breath with the realisation that what I had heard was true and that Leon is, in fact, still in the cell. I peer back toward the guard at the far end of the cavern to make sure he is occupied. I can't have this meeting interrupted. A few prisoners watch me curiously, but otherwise, my presence is no bother to them.
Leon sits in the far corner of the cell, his light brown locks stained in blood and dirt, like his chainmail discarded on the floor beside him. He has his face in his hands, clearly exhausted from the lack of sleep and the mental strain that the tournament leaves behind. He, much like the others, is in desperate need of a change of clothes, dirty and stained.
I kneel by the barred door. "Leon", I whisper, palms wrapping around the bars.
Leon lifts his face from his hands, a weak smile forming on his cracked lips with my arrival. "Edythe?" he questions, voice low. "What are you doing here?"
Leon stands, walking over to the barred door before taking a seat in front of me. His eyes look tired, his face covered in dirt and god knows what else. My gut twists in knots every time I see the knights, the pain even more straining at the sight of Leon. I am, after all, the reason he is in this cell, in this tournament. A cruel fate he far from deserves.
"I heard you were down here. I need to talk to you," I answer lowly, glancing over my shoulder. The other prisoners have lost interest in me already, and the guard has fallen asleep.
"About what?"
Seeing Leon now only makes what I've been dreading even harder. I know what I have to do, and I won't be changing my mind, but it doesn't make it any easier. The last thing I want is to stay here and become the monster that I hated and loathed so much once again. I don't want to be Ronon's puppet again, but I have no choice. I am at a crossroads with nothing else to bargain but my own life.
"Leon, I've found a way to get you all out of here. Merlin as well," I whisper.
Leon's face brightens up. "Brilliant! What is it?"
I let my eyes fall to the floor, biting my lip as tears threaten to spill.
"Edythe?" Leon asks, his smile quickly falling. "What is it?"
"I made a deal with Ronon-"
"Please tell me you didn't-"
"I had no other choice."
"What was it?" Leon demands, eyes holding my own. "Edythe, what did you bargain?"
I suck in a breath, water in my eye. "Me. I bargained me."
Leon frowns. "What do you mean?"
"Ronon knows I care about you all. He has for a while now, and that's why he's let your participation last so long. I know he'd try to turn you against each other, but he hasn't because...he had a plan all along," I explain, rolling my eyes at my naivety. "The manipulative bastard had a plan the moment he saw me. I know it."
"What does he want?" Leon asks, hesitant to know the answer.
"Ronon has agreed to let you go. He's agreed to leave you unharmed and allow you all to go on with your lives without his interference on the terms that...that I remain here. With him. Resuming my position in the family," I confess, voice becoming weaker with each word. "As his second."
Silence falls between us, Leon's eyes falling to the ground now, lost in thought. I remain seated by the bars, uneasy with the quiet but understanding the situation on Leon's behalf. I wanted to talk to Leon because I know he would be the most understanding of the knights and maybe the only one I can convince to leave me here and convince the others. Leon is Arthur's adviser, and he may be the only person capable of convincing Arthur that this is for the best.
"You can't," Leon concludes, voice breaking the silence.
"I can. And I will," I retort. "Besides, I'll be able to help the rebels more this way."
Leon's eyes shoot up at me. "No. We're not leaving you here. I'm not leaving you here."
"You have to."
"To hell, I don't."
"Leon..." I whisper, closing my eyes as my first tear falls. "I need you to promise me-"
"Edythe..."
"I need you to promise me," I repeat, sniffing back more tears and being strong. "That you won't let Arthur or any of the others come back for me."
"I won't promise that. I won't," Leon growls, breathing heavily in anger.
"No, because you'll be too busy keeping the promise of keeping Arthur and the others safe", I rebuttal, Leon and I now staring intensely at one another.
"This isn't fair, Edythe", Leon hisses, eyes tired. "I can't promise that."
"Yes, you can. Because I know you can't bring yourself to say no. And I also know that you wouldn't be able to break your promise," I observe, a smile pulling at my lips.
Leon nods, gritting his teeth. "That's why you chose to tell me first."
"Correct."
He shakes his head in defiance. "That's really, really unfair, Edythe."
"I know. And I'm sorry" I apologise, the guilt already eating me inside. "But at least this way, I'll know you guys will be okay. I'll know my brother is safe. I'll know Camelot is secure and know you're safe. I'll have a better chance at taking Ronon out. After that, I'll be able to come home."
"Please, Edythe", Leon pleads, his voice tired. "You know we'd rather fight in this tournament a hundred times over than leave you in this place. I would rather fight than condemn you like this."
"But this is my choice", I defend, moving closer to the bars. "And I want you to respect that."
"And if I don't?"
"Then suck it up."
We both let out a chuckle that resembles a breath more than a laugh.
"Leon, I can't bear to see all of you go through this anymore. I know you can win it, but I also know the arena. It's unpredictable. I can see the toll it's taking on all of you, and I hate it. I've seen what that arena can do to people, and I don't want to see it happen to any of the knights...least of all you," I confess.
Leon peers up at me from behind his curls, this time with a softness in his eyes I don't think I've ever seen before. It catches me off guard. I was expecting more fighting, maybe even yelling. I wasn't prepared to see defeat. Leon knows how stubborn I can be and has no energy to fight me anymore. I understand how uneven this argument is, and that saddens me.
"I know you're doing this to protect us, Edythe", Leon calmly acknowledges. "But can't you see, I'm trying to protect you."
"I know", I whisper. "But you can't protect me if you're dead. And...and I don't know what I'll do if...you..." The tears choke me up.
"Yeah", Leon whispers, head hung low. "I know how you feel."
"Leon...believe me. I don't want to stay here. I've-I've finally gotten my life together. Finally figured out who I want to be. I've got a home, I've got friends, family. It's because of all those things that I have to do this. Because I don't want all those beautiful things that I've finally had the opportunity to witness being hurt and defiled by a mess I created."
"I finally have something to fight for...I'm just sorry that it took me so long, and the literal sentence of losing everything, to finally realise...after all this time. I was blind to see that everyone was right about you," I rant, feeling everything leave me as there's no reason otherwise for me to keep it to myself.
I have put off the feeling for too long, and I don't know why. Perhaps it has been the fear of rejection, of losing Leon forever. I have always felt that unsaid spark between us, ever since the day we first spoke–first really spoke–it's been there. A longing that I haven't felt before. It grew more than friendship that night under the stars and has blossomed ever since. I love Leon. I should have been better at expressing it. I know that now.
Confusion pools those beautiful grey orbs. "Right about me?"
"How I feel about you", I whisper, voice barely audible.
Leon's eyebrows furrow together, a thought crossing his mind. "What are you saying?"
"You know..."
Leon nods, a smirk pulling at his lips. "I think I do. But I want you to say it."
I shake my head. That smooth bastard. "We're fighting about possibly never seeing each other again, and you're going to tease me into admitting that I have feelings for you, you idiot?"
A warm smile fills Leon's face, the knight reaching out to place his hand on top of mine on the bar. "I think that's the perfect reason."
As we share a long stare, silence falls between us, both sharing warm and sad smiles. It's stupid that we hadn't, in all the years we've known each other, admitted what we had between us and now that we chose to do it in the middle of what could be the last time we ever have a moment to ourselves. I entwine my fingers between Leon's, not afraid to admit that I enjoy this feeling.
"If these bars weren't here right now..." Leon whispers.
"I know."
We become silent, eyes closed shut as we enjoy each other's presence. There's an ache in my gut that I can't be relieved of. I don't want to stay. I don't want to leave Camelot behind, Arthur, Merlin, the knights...Leon. Every vessel of my soul screams that you can't give this up, but I know that if I don't do as Ronon has offered, he'll make sure the knights don't make it out the other side. I have more chance of helping the rebels from the inside.
I may one day get to go home this way. Maybe in years, maybe never. But at least this way, I know they're safe and that I will never stop fighting for them.
"Is there no other way?" Leon whispers, grip tightening on our entwined fingers.
"No..."
"What if I stay too?"
"What?"
"What if I stay too?" Leon offers, opening his eyes finally.
"Leon-"
"The others can go. They'll be safe. And I'll...I'll do anything Ronon wants. I can't leave you here alone," Leon whispers frantically, not thinking anything through, defiant.
"No, Leon. You can't. You don't belong here...And Ronon won't allow it. I won't allow it...." I sniffle, unable to bear the thought of Leon in this world, of it twisting him, of it hurting his soul. Even if Ronon did not simply kill him for suggesting such a thing, he would eventually, because Leon is too pure, too righteous. He would never do anything Ronon wished.
He wouldn't be the Leon that I've grown to love. His kindness and compassion are what made me fall for him. I was so used to the rough and reckless men that Leon had caught me off guard. He was so different, and I was intrigued.
"Please, Edythe", Leon pleads. "Don't make me leave you-"
"Edythe!" yells a loud voice, the doors into the cavern bursting open with loud force, causing Leon and I to jump at the sound.
Ronon's men come flooding into the cavern, the sleeping guard abruptly waking from his slumber at the sudden commotion. I stand, Leon also, never letting go of my hand as he stands behind me in the cell.
"What's this?" I ask, Blaze appearing at the top of the stairs as he descends them.
All the guards surround me and Leon's cell, but no one makes an advance forward as Blaze makes his way through the crowd. "Oh, isn't this just so sweet" he mocks, a grin spread ear to ear. "Edythe does have a heart after all!"
"What's going on Blaze?" I sneer, heart pounding in my chest.
"Oh yes. Uh, Edythe," Blaze nods, looking around at the guards. "You're under arrest."
Two guards advance, both taking hold of my arms, pulling me from Leon. "On what charge?" I yell, trying to flick the men off my arms.
"Don't touch her!" Leon hisses, trying to grab the men through the bars but is unsuccessful.
"On the grounds of assisted prisoner escape-"
"What?"
"-association with enemies of The Wolf, lying to his grace-"
"Oh, come on."
"And attempted mutiny."
"You're joking right?" I sneer, fighting against the guards as they begin to drag me away.
"You can't do this!" Leon shouts.
"Oh, but we can", Blaze smirks. "And we will. Hope you enjoy your last night Sir Leon. Expect it to be your last. Whole last challenge and all tomorrow. Good luck!"