Y/N POV
~May~
Lizzie is officially not an understudy anymore. The play didn't last very long and I think it's because she wasn't starring in it. I got the chance to see her perform once and it was amazing. She's so mesmerizing and authentic and it just confirmed what I already know. She's going to be a star.
It's a little scary to think about. I find myself thinking about where I fit into all of this all the time. I've known since the beginning of our relationship that I don't really fit into the movie star world. I'm just a college student that is struggling to get by.
She's already starting her career and she hasn't even finished school yet. I just feel a little...small. I'm so proud of her and happy for her, but I feel out of place in her world.
When Rhonda approached me at the premier and told me about surprising Lizzie, I was a little surprised. I thought she would try to keep me away from Lizzie. She didn't really say anything explicitly but I can tell she wants Lizzie to hide our relationship. I don't want to be the person that ruins her chances at roles she really wants
We haven't really talked about it. I'm just going with the flow and enjoying my time with her. School is great and I get to hang out with Pam a lot since Lizzie is busy with auditions and her own classes. We get to see each other, it's not like I never see her, it's just different now. She's driven and focused and I love that about her. It just feels like I'm going to be left in the dust.
But I don't really mind it. I want her to reach her dreams even if I can't be in the picture. At this point I'm just waiting for her to realize that maybe she shouldn't be so focused on our relationship. I've accepted that we probably won't last after college. We are at different points in our careers and lives. I just want to enjoy the time I have with her right now.
I'm grateful I've thought about the future and the possibility that she won't be in mine. I hope she's thought about the possibility too. I mean she must know that it wouldn't be good for her to try to maintain a relationship while being busy starting her career. Right?
Anyway, I'm riding the train for as long as I can. I'll love her for as long as she wants me in her life and it will be enough.
School ends soon and I'm set to spend the summer with my niece. I'm excited because I get baby time but also money for school. I've been walking dogs but it's not a substantial income. Every time I mention the summer Lizzie gets a little weird though.
"Are you really going to Boston for the entire summer?" She asks as we study for our final exams.
"Yup." I confirm and she sighs. "What's wrong?" I ask as she avoids my gaze.
"I just thought you might want to stay with me for the summer?" She offers and my stomach flips at the offer.
"Oh, I just thought you'd be busy with auditions and stuff. I don't want to be a distraction or in the way or anything." I explain.
"Y/N, you aren't a burden to me. You're everything to me." She assures me, shifting her notebook out of her lap to each her hand to rest on my cheek. "You trust me, right?" She asks, worried eyes on me.
"Of course I do. We've built back what we lost and we're doing really well." I agree and she nods, but the worry doesn't leave. She's still in therapy for her stuff and we talk about it a lot. She's more like herself nowadays despite the slight anxiety every now and then. But I'm happy for her that she is sleeping through the night and doesn't even think about Russia. She's doing really well and we have a really solid relationship and I like it.
"What aren't you telling me, Y/N?" She asks and I frown in confusion.
"What do you mean?" I ask.
"You've been...distant?" She tries to explain.
"Um how?" I ask, not sure what she's getting at.
"Ever since the premier, we've been just. I don't know. It just feels different." She shares. "And now it's like staying with me for the summer isn't even in your mind." She adds on.
"I didn't know you wanted me to. You never asked. Plus I need to make money and my brother is paying me for watching Mia all summer." I explain my motives and she nods.
"Okay. You'd tell me if it was something else, right?" She checks and I nod. I feel kind of bad that I'm not sharing my feelings about her career, but I don't want her to step away from something she loves just because I don't feel welcome. It's not her fault. She hasn't done anything to make me feel that way. It's just in my mind and until it becomes an actual issue, she doesn't need to know.
"I love you, Lizard." I share easily and she smiles brightly.
"I love you too, bug. I'm not sure where Lizard came from but it's really cute." She shares and leans over to peck my lips. She leaves a few more kisses on my lips that I return eagerly. "How about we take a break from studying?" She suggests and I quirk an eyebrow at her low tone.
"Oh? And what would we do?" I ask teasingly.
"I could think of a few things." She whispers before kissing me softly.
"Let's go." I prompt and lean back to set my stuff on the coffee table before holding my hand out to her. She takes it easily and lets me lead her into her bedroom. We might be very...active lately and I love every minute of it. She makes me feel so loved with every touch and every kiss. It's better than getting high.
I smile when she tugs my shirt off my body and leans forward to kiss my collarbones softly. Her hands slide around my stomach and back as I wrap my arms around her neck. She giggles when I pull her into a hug and kisses my cheek. "You're so affectionate bug, I love it." She shares easily before pulling away slightly, grabbing my hands and leading me to sit on her bed.
"You're so good at taking care of me, let me take care of you." She requests and I nod. I'd say we are pretty equal in the give and take but I might enjoy giving a little more.
"Do your worst, Lizard," I tease and she giggles.
"You're a goof. Lay down, my love." She requests and I follow easily. Her fingers tug at the band of my sweatpants and I lift my hips to help her out. I watch in interest as she tugs off her own shirt and sweatshirt, leaving her in her underwear. She's so goddamn beautiful.
"Lizzie," I prompt and she looks up from tugging off my underwear.
"Yes, love?" She asks and I grin at the term of endearment.
"I love you and you're beautiful." I share easily and smile at the blush on her cheeks.
"I love you too, Y/N, more than you know." She whispers, straddling my thighs and leaning down to kiss me softly. The soft kiss turns heated quickly as my hands rub up and down her naked back. I unhook her bra and she shrugs it off before returning to our warm kisses.
My heart beats quickly in anticipation when her lips travel down the side of my neck, her hand sliding down my chest and stomach before settling between my legs. I hum in pleasure as her fingers slide through my folds. My hands roaming her back tense, nails digging into her back as her fingers slide into my heat already establishing a rhythm that has my body warm.
She knows my body and what gets me riled up so easily. She pushes and pulls at all the right spots, while her lips find the sensitive skin on my neck and chest. "You're everything to me Y/N." She whispers into my ear before sucking harshly on the side of my neck.
"Fuck," I whisper, my eyes shut tight when her thumb presses down on the most sensitive spot on my body. "Lizzie." I moan as I get closer and she grins before kissing a path down my chest and stomach. My hands slide into her hair the lower she gets and my eyes open wide when her fingers are replaced with her tongue.
I tug at her hair as her tongue pleasures me, the feeling almost unbearable. She doesn't even have to try to make me feel good. When her slick muscle dips deeper into my entrance I squeal a little bit and huff out an annoyed breath when she giggles to herself.
"You have way too much fun teasing me." I complain but I'm shut up by her lips enclosing around my clit, sucking harshly as her fingers return to my heat. With a few well timed thrusts and twirls of her tongue I come undone, her name leaving my lips with a string of curses as my body reacts to her love.
"You're so beautiful when you come." She whispers against my lips as she kisses me lazily, allowing me to taste myself on her lips. I try to twist my hips to roll our bodies around but she doesn't let me, her hand pushing down on my hip to keep me in place. "I want tonight to be all about you." She informs me and I pout a little.
"Well I want to make you feel good. Grant my wish please." I request and she giggles.
"Later." She promises lightly, her light touch teasing at my lower stomach.
"No now." I disagree. She quirks an eyebrow at my response and cups my center. "I mean...later." I agree and she smirks,
"Good girl." She mutters against the skin of my neck and I don't think she realizes how hot that was holy shit. Her lips have my seeing stars while her fingers work their magic. The harsh curl of her fingers sends me over the edge this time and she doesn't stop there.
By the time she allows it to be my turn my body feels like my soul left it. "You're a goddess." I whisper, her lips still on my neck and chest as I recover.
"Do you need anything?" She asks.
"I need water...and maybe you can come sit on my face." I suggest.
"Y/N!" She squeals at the blunt request and I giggle as she tickles my sides.
"No wait I gotta pee!" I inform her and she stops, helping me up to go to the bathroom while she gets me water and a banana. She sits on my lap as I munch on my snack and takes bites that I offer to her. Her eyes are so bright and I can't help but smile at all the happiness I see in them. I'm the one making her that happy and it's the best feeling in the world.
Once I'm done with my snack, she follows my request and I have my fun between her legs that tremble in pleasure under my grasp. When she cuddles up to my side afterwards I trace shapes on her bare back.
"That's the best way to take a study break." I decide and she giggles.
"I'd have to agree. We should probably get back to that though." She offers.
"5 more minutes of this." I request and she nods. "You make me feel everything, Lizzie. Thank you for loving me." I whisper and she shifts to look into my eyes.
"You never have to thank me for that...I love you so much that I can't even put it into words. You're the one for me Y/N. I don't want anyone else." She shares honestly, her hand on my cheek as she searches my eyes. She brushes her thumb over my cheek as she waits for my response.
Before her eyes can fill with worry, I respond. "You're the one for me too Lizzie. You're my soulmate. No matter what happens, it will always be you." I assure her, pushing away the nagging feeling that makes its way into my stomach.
"I'd do anything for you y/n." She responds before kissing me softly and I feel the promise in her lips. I've said the same to her many times and I mean it every time. I'd do anything for her, even let her go if that's what needs to happen for her to blossom into the star she was born to be.
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A/N Since y'all have gotten robbed a couple times. Anyway, what do we think???