A/N: Some light mature content in this chapter, skip between the ***, if that's not for you.
Sitting at the Hollywood sign, we're both quiet, taking in the view. There's a reason this has been my hideaway ever since I found it a couple of years ago. Up here, there's none of the chaos of the city, it all feels so far away. The lights are spread out below us like a carpet, stretching into the distance. It's peaceful, but my thoughts aren't. I have no idea how to start this conversation with Elle. I'm hopeless at this stuff. Fortunately, Elle decides to needle me and that breaks the ice.
"How many girls have you made out with in this spot?"
"I only come here alone."
Elle looks at me in surprise and I look her in the eye as I keep talking.
"Until now."
"Oh, you are good!" Elle scoffs, making me smile. "That sounds so great when you say it. You must know that, right?"
I give her a small shake of my head, but yeah, okay, that was probably a little cheesy.
Elle shakes her head and looks away from me. "Such a player."
I stay silent and wait for her to get whatever's going on in that head of hers out in the open.
Looking back at me, she goes on. "You haven't changed. I mean, what is the difference between what just happened..."
That's enough. "The difference is you."
"You're crazy."
"I'm crazy about you, Elle."
It's the truth, even if it does sound like a line, and I see her small smile before she turns away again. That makes me smile, but I try to keep my expression neutral when she looks back at me.
"Okay. Okay. Here's how this is gonna work."
I'm all ears. As long as she wants this to work, I'm in.
"Rules. Number one: No more fighting."
"Done." Easy. Maybe. I could do it for her.
Elle looks surprised that I agreed so quickly, but keeps going.
"Number two: No more telling me what to do."
"Cross my heart." If we're together, she won't be in any risky situations, so I won't need to anyway.
"And number three: If we do this, nobody can know. Okay? At least until I figure out a way to tell Lee. It has to be that way."
That kind of sucks, but I get it. Lee's gonna hate this and we need to make sure there's something here worth fighting for. I don't want to think about all that yet, so I try to lighten the mood.
"You know, you're cute when you're bossy."
"I'm serious, Noah."
"So am I," I grin, because she is. "You're really, really cute!"
I can't help but chuckle at Shelly's face, but she sobers quickly and so do I. Her expression turns almost pained, and right now I just want to make her feel better about this.
"Promise?" Her eyes are pleading with me to understand and that's the end of me.
"Hey," I say so softly it's almost a whisper. "I promise."
Elle gives me a small smile that I return, and I can only stare into her eyes for so long before giving in to the need to kiss her. The first kiss is short and sweet, but the feeling... Maybe it's all the tension from what happened at the party and that near-silent car ride earlier, maybe it's the fact that Elle just agreed to be with me... I guess it's all of that, and the fact that it's Elle. Nothing feels as good as this. Judging by the look in her eyes, she feels the same way.
***
When I kiss her again, I move closer, her hand finding my hair as mine finds her waist. It's an automatic thing when my fingers trail up over her shirt, fingertips finding skin where it's half-unbuttoned already. She startles and I pull back, feeling like a jerk. I definitely hadn't been trying to push her, especially not here, now, tonight. I have to say something.
"Um...You know, we don't have to."
And I don't just mean sex, I mean anything. I don't want Elle to ever be in a situation where she does something she doesn't want to, and I definitely don't want to be the asshole putting her in that situation. I search Elle's face, trying to see if she understands. She's looking back at me softly, and reaches her hand out to touch the side of my face.
Dragging her thumb down over my lips, her fingers reach my chest and she leans her forehead against mine. Both her hands are now at my buttons and she's pulling at my shirt. Everywhere her fingers touch my skin is like fire, and I help her get my arms out of the sleeves. Elle's hands roving over my chest and shoulders does me in, and now all I want is to feel her skin against mine.
Her shirt goes quickly too and she pulls me down on top of her, in what soon becomes pretty heated making out. I figure that's where things will end, but then Elle starts escalating. She pushes me away far enough to wriggle out of her shorts, and I don't stop her because she's still wearing her bikini. After some more excellent making out, I roll us onto our sides so it's a little less obvious how much I'm actually enjoying this.
But Elle takes this as an invitation and moves her hand between us, her fingers trying to wriggle beneath the waistband of my shorts. I move my hand over hers, stopping her, and break our kiss.
"Elle?"
"Yeah?"
"You don't need to do that."
"I know, but-"
"But nothing, Elle." I bring her hand up to my face and kiss her palm.
She pulls her hand away, not looking me in the eye. "Do you...not want me to?"
"Hey," I lift up her chin so she has to look at me. "That's definitely not it, okay?"
"Then why did you stop me?" her voice is small, embarrassed.
"Because I need you to know that's not the reason I want to be with you, Elle. I'm not in this, for that, okay?"
"Okay, I get it. I wasn't thinking that you were."
"Good." I kiss her again, and we return to making out, her hands safely in my hair, which is just fine with me. I move one of my hands down her back, tracing my fingers across her mostly bare skin to rest on her hip. Elle's words come out all breathy. "No...don't...stop."
I freeze and pull back to look at her.
"What?" she asks, her voice more forceful now.
"You told me to stop," I say, confused.
"No! I told you not to stop," Elle laughs, which makes me grin.
"Uh, Shelly, you're gonna have to be a lot more clear. Because for the record, when you say the words 'no', 'don't' and/or 'stop', I'm going to stop. None of those words imply consent, you know? Quite the opposite, actually," I chuckle.
"Oh my god! You're so frustrating! Since when are you so...good?"
"Since always. I've never pushed a girl into doing anything, Elle, and I won't push you into doing something you don't want to do."
"Ugh! I know that! But that's just it, I do want to!"
"What do you want, exactly?"
"Oh god!" Elle buries her face in my neck. "You're gonna make me say it, aren't you?"
"Ah, yeah, I'd like to be clear," I grin, kissing her hair.
"I want you to touch me. Please. You won't let me touch you, but I want you to touch me," she whispers.
Well who am I to argue with that? I glance around to make sure we're really alone, even though I've never seen anyone else here at night and we'd definitely see a flashlight if anyone was coming up the trail. Satisfied, I push Elle gently onto her back and kiss her. Softly at first and then harder, more passionately. I've propped myself up on one elbow, but the other hand I let trail down her neck, down her chest to her stomach.
My fingertips find the band of her bikini bottoms and I pause for a moment, but Elle's squirming, kissing me harder, trying to encourage me on. A sudden thought pops into my head. Elle's turned on...needy. The thought that I'm the first person to ever make her feel that, that I could be the first person to make her feel...everything, ends my hesitation. Edging my hand under the fabric, I slowly move lower, seeking.
Elle moans into my mouth as I touch her for the first time. She's definitely turned on, and my finger slides over her easily. She bucks her hips as I start circling and it's not long before she breaks our kiss, panting in my ear as she comes. Her head drops back down to the blanket and she covers her eyes with her forearm.
I move my hand up to rest on her stomach before kissing her on the lips, then along her arm. "Why are you hiding?" I smile.
"Because..."
"Elle..."
"Because that was great..."
"That's not a reason to be hiding." I kiss her again.
She moves her arm, but isn't really looking at me. I wait her out and finally she speaks.
"What you did...was great, obviously," she blushes. "But I was hoping..."
Ah, I see. "You were hoping for...more?"
Elle nods and I bend my lips to hers again. She kisses me back eagerly and I move to her neck, as my hand heads downwards again. I trace around her opening and Elle's hands grip my hair. She wants more and I'm happy to comply. I'm still kissing her neck as I ease one finger inside her. I didn't think I could be any more turned on, but her moan when I touch her...fuck.
I'm being very careful. Careful not to go too fast, careful not to get carried away and leave a mark on her neck. But Elle's not helping me. She pulls my face back up to hers, kissing me passionately, and pushes against my hand. I capture her moans with my mouth as I go deeper, and then her gasp when I add a second finger. One of her hands is curled around the back of my neck and the other is gripping my shoulder tightly.
Elle breaks our kiss, breathing hard. "Please keep going."
I had no intention of stopping what I was doing...
"Noah, please... I want more. I want you."
"Elle," I groan, my fingers stilling.
"Don't give me the speech again, okay? I know you're not in this just for sex. I'm saying I want to."
"Here? Now?"
Elle nods and then seems to remember something. "As long as you have, you know...um..."
"Uh, yeah, we're good."
Thank god I keep a couple of condoms in my wallet...but still...
"So quit arguing with me then," Elle grins, and drags me into another kiss.
I know I'm being good, but even I have my limits. I am human.
A few minutes later I'm looking down at a naked Elle, wondering how we ended up here. Something in my expression makes Elle frown.
"I swear to god, Noah, if you ask me again if I'm sure..."
"Okay, okay!" I chuckle. "So bossy!"
She grins at me, swatting my chest. "Shut up."
I kiss her, then look into her eyes, both of us suddenly serious. "Try to relax, okay? I'm going to go slow, but you have to tell me if something doesn't feel good, yeah?"
Elle nods, "Okay."
I begin easing inside her, stopping when I see a flicker of pain cross her face. "You okay?"
"Yeah. Just, maybe give me a second?"
"Uh huh. Kiss me, Elle."
She does and after a few beats, I feel her body start to relax. She gasps when I move forward again, her eyes flashing open.
"Elle, you're fine. It'll be better now, I promise."
She nods and I kiss her, moving back and then forward again. Each time, Elle relaxes a little more, starting to enjoy it. Which means I'm enjoying it more, too. I shake my head slightly, grinning.
"What?" she breathes, smiling up at me.
"You. You're amazing."
Her expression is disbelieving.
"Elle, I mean it. This, being with you, is incredible." Kissing along her jaw, I move to her ear. "You feel so good."
She doesn't say anything, but I feel her cheek move against mine and know she's smiling. Everything I told her is true, even if I am being careful, being with Elle like this, her moving with me...it's better than anything I've experienced before. Somehow, we just work, fitting together like puzzle pieces.
Elle's hands are gripping tightly to my back, and the feeling of her nails digging into my skin is slightly painful in the best way. The pressure starts building at the base of my spine and I capture Elle's mouth once more, before resting my forehead on hers. I can't hold on any longer and bury myself deep inside her, finding my release.
We're both kind of sweaty and breathless, and after I shift to lie beside Elle, she shivers with the cool breeze hitting her skin. Wrapping us in the blanket, I pull her to face me.
***
"You okay?"
"Better than okay," she grins.
"Excellent," I smile.
"You don't have to look so pleased with yourself," she teases.
"Why not?"
"Ugh, you're so smug!" she covers my grin with her hand, but I grab her hand and kiss it before moving it to rest on my cheek.
I reach out to cup her face, using my thumb to gently stroke along her cheekbone.
"Elle, making you feel good makes me happy."
She blushes and rolls her eyes. "When did you become such a romantic?"
Shrugging, I answer quietly. "About the time you agreed to be with me, I guess."
"Noah..."
"Come here," I murmur, lying back and tucking Elle against me, her head on my shoulder.
"Can we stay here for a little while?" she whispers against my skin.
I kiss the top of her head. "Yeah, of course."
Lying here with Elle, listening to her breathe, I can't remember ever feeling so...right. Like I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be. I close my eyes, just revelling in the foreign but very welcome sensation.
The first thing I see when I open my eyes is Elle, looking at me, her lips curved up in a small smile.
"Hi," I whisper, my voice a little hoarse.
"Hi yourself," Elle grins, and then I realize what's wrong with the picture in front of me.
It's light. Daylight. As in morning.
"Shit! What's the time?"
"Calm down, it's only 7."
"Jesus! I nearly had a heart attack! Wait, where does your dad think you were last night?"
Elle shrugs, "I told him I'd probably crash at yours after the party."
"Okay..."
"Well, more specifically, I told him I'd probably catch a ride home and stay at Lee's, so I think he's unlikely to come hunting you down," she giggles.
"Still. Easy for you to say..."
"Don't tell me big bad Flynn's afraid of my dad?"
Actually, I'm kind of afraid of what all of our parents will think when they find out that Elle and I are together. But if we're keeping us a secret for now, I don't have to worry about that just yet.
"I guess you're right. Are you hungry?"
"Starving."
"Right. First stop, breakfast. After that, where do you want to go?"
"I should probably go home...maybe you could drop me off a block or so away to avoid any questions?"
"Good plan."
Elle stretches away from me to grab her clothes, but I reach over and pull her back to me.
"Noah! What are you doing?"
"Not rushing," I smile.
"We should go..."
"Five minutes. I just want five more minutes of being here like this with you."
The smile Elle gives me makes me feel like a million bucks. I don't know if I deserve to be this happy, if I deserve her, but I'd do just about anything to hold onto this feeling.