(This chapter is written in Jungkook's pov)
*
You know what they say about not letting the enemy get the satisfaction of watching you suffer? I didn't let them.
I was heartbroken when my mother threw those ugly words at me. Sinner, she called me. I love her to death and I have wanted nothing more than her to accept my relationship with Tae. I wanted her to like him and I wanted him to like her. The future I had imagined for myself had my mother in it showering her blessings on the the love of my life and me.
Last night when my mother left home infuriated, I couldn't take it. I couldn't think straight. I wanted to be left alone and that wasn't possible in Kim Mansion so I ran away, wanting to spend some time to myself. Too much crying, too much stress isn't good for your health, they say. What they say is right. I was dizzy and my vision got blurry before I knew it. I saw that man running towards me and I assumed it was Tae. How would I not? I wanted it to be Tae so bad. I wanted to be held by him. I craved his presence. I passed out in the arms of what turned out later was Yeonjun.
I was drugged and kidnapped all because they wanted revenge on my boyfriend. I woke up all chained up in a bed. I am not stupid, it felt off right from the start. I tried to engage Sooman in useless conversations to buy me some time so that Tae could find me before severe damage was done. I tried hard to get out of those chains but it was thick and it was iron. You wouldn't have a chance unless you were the hulk.
I felt like I was stabbed in the heart when he told me he had raped my man when he was a 10 year old and kept doing that to him for years to come. How I didn't break down and sob ugly in front of him is something I can't explain. I couldn't give him what he wanted. He wanted to watch me suffer and make Tae watch the recording. I wouldn't do that to my man, I wouldn't cry.
I was dreading the expected torture when I woke up but later I found myself praying to God they change their mind and beat me up as much as they wanted. I would take that, happily. Anything over being touched by that monster. His touch on my skin felt like crawling snakes. I wanted to rip off parts of skin that he had put his hands on. I was cringing inside, dying inside when he put his disgusting lips on my skin. That would have broken me and I would have sobbed in front of him and begged him to stop exactly how he wanted me to. That would have happened, had I not forced my brain to drift off to something else, something safe. Him.
I was so desperate to not feel that man that I tried imagining it was Tae. Anything that could keep me from crying out loud and begging him to stop. Just anything. That didn't work. That wasn't Tae's touch. It just wasn't. I couldn't imagine it. I felt my body tremble in disgust and helplessness under his touch. I kept wondering what would happen if something didn't stop him in a few minutes. I was wondering if that was fate for me to get rapped by an old maniac who had also defiled the man I love. I was enraged, desperate and helpless. I thought about Taehyung. If I was going to be raped, I had to make sure I don't break down in front of my that psycho. I had to drift my mind away from what was happening to me. I had to drift my mind away from the fact that all I wanted to do right now is fall to my knees and cry. I was convinced dying of torture would anyday be better than what I was going through.
I thought about how Tae holds me near his heart and comforts me, his cologne, his warmth, his voice, his smile, the voice of his laughter, the way he makes me feel so loved, so cherished. I didn't know where he was but I knew he would be frantically searching for me everywhere. I knew he might not be able to come here in time to stop what was happening to me but he will kill this monster for good this time when he finds out what he did.
That maniac was busy kissing , licking and biting me everywhere and it made me want to kill myself. I was disgusted of me. Not him as much as I was disgusted of me. I felt worthless. A mere commodity you could tie up and use as you please. I wondered why I find myself in situations like these when that is not what I deserve. I took several deep breaths to calm myself as he ripped my shirt off. I couldn't cry. There was no way I would cry. Not in front of that man. I had to keep my eyes shut and I did.
I thought about that another time when I felt helpless just like I did then. When I told Tae that I was going to quit Solar Inc, I was upset. I loved that job but I couldn't make him sign a contract that could be used against him later even though he was ready to sign it. After I resigned Solar Inc, I had nothing. I couldn't go back to KC and spend my life being the guy who got lucky just because he is Kim Taehyung's boyfriend. No other company would hire me for the same reason that I was his boyfriend. My career was finished for no fault of my own. All I did was fall in love and it was over. It was like I couldn't have a life of my own anymore. All I was to people was Kim Taehyung's boy. What about the Jungkook who is smarter than all the people in KC's IT department combined? What about the Jungkook who flooded his home with national and international medals? What about the Jungkook who studied in the college meant for top 0.1% students and emerged as a topper even there? What about the Jungkook who was a black belt in taekwondo and an national level boxer? What about the Jungkook who designs softwares for fun when others can't do the same thing in years? I was so so many things and yet it didn't matter. Despite everything, I was still jobless and I was still chained up to a bed waiting to be raped. All because I fell in love and it seems I lost my identity. I would always remain Taehyung's boyfriend despite everything else that I am.
When I had confided in Tae about all of this, he took me in his arms. He comforted me, made me sit on the bed while he kneeled in front of me, my hands held tight in his.
He told me how he knew the second he first saw my resume at KC that I wouldn't last long in the company. When I asked him why, he told me he thought I was too big for a trivial job. I remember chuckling at what he had said. My job at KC was the one people would kill and die for. "You are not meant for small jobs that serve other people, baby", he had said. "You are meant for great things. You have the ability to build something of your own. Something bigger than even me and KC. All you have to do is stop crying and start believing in yourself. How are you supposed to make things happen that you can't even dare to imagine could happen?". I wasn't fully convinced that night with what he said but I wasn't helpless anymore. I knew for a fact that I was never going to accept any financial help from Tae but I was reminded of what I was. He reminded me of my worth. He saved me that night. He made me believe, even though I felt hopeless then, I could indeed lean on myself and believe that I was able to make something work and that, eventually I wouldn't be a failure. I could and would build something for myself. And I knew that he would be with me in the thick and the thin. He would be by my side through everything, not as the CEO of KC but as the man I love.
I braced on to myself as Sooman played with my body, feeling helpless all over again. Could Tae do what he did for me that night, once again? Could he please get me out of my helplessness and make me believe that I deserved more than being treated like this? I didn't deserve this. I was praying to be saved one more time like I was saved that night by Tae. I couldn't handle his hands and lips on my skin, I was on the verge of breaking down. I forced my brain to drift again and it took me to my first time with Taehyung or my first time letting someone be on top of me. I remembered how he guided me to his black couch. How made sure again and again that I was comfortable. Your first time with someone isn't supposed to be in an office but I didn't mind at all. I wanted him so so bad. I wanted him bad enough to lie to him that the last time I had bottomed was 2 years ago when I hadn't. I didn't tell tell him that I had always been a top because I didn't want him to postpon that. I wanted him then.
He still made sure I was comfortable and I wanted it. I remembered the fragrance of the lavender candles he had in his office. The small plant pots by the couch. I remembered how he had moved the pots by the window later on because I liked it better like that. How he kept asking if I was ready. If only I wasn't too shy to tell him that I had been dying for him to touch me. It really did help. Thinking about him and our time together while Sooman carried out with his monstrosity. It helped me keep myself together but I wonder how long I could do that. Would I be able to drift away when he would actually rape me? A question I prayed I never get to find the answer to.
I felt Sooman's fingers on the button of my trousers when I forced my brain back to Tae. This time, it wasn't helping really. I was terrified. I didn't want this. I cannot bear to feel this or anything what he would do next. In a few seconds though, I wasn't sure but I felt that he had retrieved. I wasn't sure if I should open my eyes and see. I didn't want to see his face and I didn't trust my senses at this point. I could see Tae standing right next to me and I wouldn't believe it but I felt a warm touch on my shoulder not soon after, and I flinched in response. It took me a few seconds to recognise the touch and to make sure my brain wasn't playing games due to my desperation. Soon, I realised I wasn't daydreaming and it was really him.
I didn't know how to hold myself together when I did realise it was him. I cried my soul out. It was finally safe for me to feel again. It was finally safe to cry. I was in his arms soon when he got me out of the chains and held me to his heart. Now that I was in his arms, it was okay for me to admit that I was terrified. I, no longer needed to pretend to be fearless now that he was here. I was still in the same bed, the same room where I was captured but I suddenly felt safe. He was here and it was okay. I let out all my pent up emotions and wailed thinking about what would have happened had he not been here in time.
My man held me tight and assured me again and again that I was okay as he covered me up with his jacket. I was so grateful it was just him who saw me in a vulnerable state like this and no one else. I had to try hard to stop sobbing in his arms before I could talk but he was patient with me as he always is. He told me he had to get me out of there and send me home. I was dying to go home but I couldn't leave him by himself, not with these maniacs around. Now that I was freed, I could protect him and I could make sure that Sooman doesn't get to come anywhere around my man ever again but he was adamant to send me home.
People often assume Tae is dominating and he likes to order people around. Their assumption isn't wrong. He does that. For someone who doesn't know him, it might feel rude and offensive. Getting to know him for more than a year made me understand that ordering people around is just how he shows he cares. He is the guy who would storm into my study at midnight ordering me to switch off my laptop and get some sleep because he would have seen me overwork myself. He would scold me for working for 12 hours straight and give me a shoulder massage while he does the scolding. He is the guy who ordered me to either stay home or go out with security because he wanted me safe. I didn't listen to him and I ended up here. I never mind his cold and authoritative tone because I know it comes from a place of love and not from a place of superiority. I listen to him because I am grateful that he cares. I listen to him because I don't respect anyone as much as I respect him. I listen to him because I don't mind him ordering me around, because I trust him enough to give him the control and lay back. I know he would take care of everything. He always does. I listen to him not because I have to but because I love to. It makes me feel loved and I would never let anyone who isn't Tae tell me what to do like he does.
I wanted to revolt. I wanted to tell him that I will not leave him behind. There was no way. I wanted to stay back and kill that bastard with my own bare hands and let Tae watch it as I avenged him but then I looked at my man's eyes and I just couldn't. I couldn't be stubborn. I saw desperation in his eyes. Desperation to keep me safe no matter what. It's not that he doesn't know that I can help him and I can fight for him. He just didn't want to take the risk. He didn't want to put me on the line. He wanted me as far from that place as possible and as soon as possible. How could I not listen to him? How could I be stubborn? How could I not let him take care of me? I decided to do what had become my second nature at that point. I put all my trust in him and gave him the control. I knew he would take care of everything and he would come back home to me. I knew he would finally breathe when I had left the premise. I pressed one kiss on his cheek and left with Namjoon hyung and Shane not before I whispered something in Tae's ear that I couldn't leave without saying.
As soon as I got out of the room accompanied by Namjoon hyung, Shane and his men, I asked them how they made their way to the warehouse so easily. Did no one try to stop them?
"Easily?", Shane scoffed. I didn't understand the reaction before I reached the corridor where I saw dozens of Youngjae's men lying on the floor, some dead, some severely injured and groaning in pain.
"Oh my God", I exclaimed, "Who did that?"
Namjoon hyung answered my question instantly leaving me at a loss for words, "Your boyfriend. Who else?"
Tae had never killed a man before but he did today. He killed so many that it was difficult to count. All because he wanted to find me before I could suffer anymore and thank God he did. Thank God he saved me.
To be continued...
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A/n: Yo I am really enjoying writing in first person. Want me to write the remaining story in first person? Or should I continue with my normal third person writing style?
Also I am pumping out chapters almost everyday because I am going to be really busy after 4th april and I won't post as much. So enjoy while it lasts :")