I don't think tears have ever burned so much like these do. I don't even want to keep them open while I wrap into the arms of my friends.
I didn't know any of this was going to happen let alone have my fucking boyfriend straight up call me a slut to my face.
I'm not even close to that. I wasn't even cheating.
I knew when I saw Axle at the bar something was going to happen. He said he was there for business purposes, but in the midst of trying to stop it Tanner just had to fucking be there.
He always is. Fucking always.
I don't know if he meant what he said or said it out of anger but for the time being I am not speaking to him. I won't answer his countless calls or texts. Nothing, I will answer nothing.
Axle kept talking to me telling me how much he needed and wanted me, how he can give me so much more, but I said no. I put my foot down, but he always steps on it and fucking pushes the limits.
And Tanner has to have this radar. Or he just doesn't trust me. Of course, him seeing Axle and I with him kissing me gave him that reason. But I didn't want it... I didn't want it.
You said that already.
Bella explains to me that is was most likely said out of anger, that everything will die over and we will be okay.
With Tanner I never know. I never will at this point. I wish it was much easier than it seems. I wish I could call him back and tell him it's okay I know he didn't mean it, but I'm not going to give in that easy. We need a few days. Just a few days.
***
My phone has been non stop buzzing since Monday night after everything happened. And I still have not replied. I'm staying with Carly and Ethan just for a few days so I don't risk having him coming to my house and my dad being there.
That wouldn't be good.
Thank god I have today off.
Ethan is at work and Carly and I are sort of being lazy today: movies , ice cream and talking. More talking than anything.
"Should I just answer it?"
"Uh, no." She purses her lips at me. "You answer it I'm throwing it in the toilet.
"I'd kill you."
"Exactly my point. Don't answer it, let him suffer."
"He says he's been to my house fifteen times and each time my dad has slammed the door in his face."
"Did you tell your dad?"
"Hell, no. I can deal with it. But I did tell him to slam the door in his face. He questioned it, but didn't push it. So its working."
She laughs, studding more ice cream in her mouth. "You're evil."
"No, I'm strong. And don't put up with shit."
"And this is why I envy you." I look at my best friend and frown.
"What's going on?" I look at her with sincere concern.
She sighs, setting the bowl of chocolate chunk ice cream on the table beside her and moves folding her legs in front of her. "Ethan and I are not okay... At all."
I scoot closer, giving her a reassuring squeeze. "As in?"
"We're breaking up. I didn't want to bring it up. Because you're having trouble too. It just seems like too much at one time."
"You're to nice to others you know? You worry about them more than you do yourself. Tell me what's going on. I'm all ears." I smile at my best friend, gesturing to her to continue.
When she finishes everything, with tears falling. I can't help but pull her close and tell her everything is going to be okay.
I would have never known if she wouldn't have told me. Ethan has done nothing but treat her like a mouse. Trapping whenever he pleases like some sick game. Making her feel like the worst girlfriend possible. And as her best friend I hadn't noticed because of my own issues.
She seeked help from Bobby. Going over to his house every other day when Ethan was away at work. They hadn't done anything but talk. Until the other night they couldn't take the insane tension between each other.
When she was telling me how he was holding her, being so gentle. Her eyes lit up and I knew that look, especially from her because that's how she once looked at Ethan.
But now it was Bobby and I think there isn't anyone else beyond that.
"He's packing once he gets home, then leaving to go back to his parent till he finds a place. Why do I feel guilty?" She cries.
"Carly everyone falls out of love. Its not natural to have just one love, at least thats how I see it. You need at least a few broken heart before you can find the right person to mend it back together." She looks up at me from my lap, my fingers running through her crimson hair.
She sighs. "It's so hard. Why did it take me this long to become myself and tell him I was no longer happy?"
"It may have taken this long, but now at least you'll be happy." I smile, lean down and kiss her forehead.
"Hey no homo."
"Oh shut up, you were the one who made me hold your hand at the bar and pretend to be your lesbian lover because that weird guy with the beard."
Laughing she sits up and rubs the tears from her big eyes. "I love you Tayz, you always know how to cheer me up."
"That's what friends are for. And I love you."
As the night rolls by, we both end up falling asleep watching The Hot Chick.
***
As morning sun rises I try to avoid awkward confrontation with Ethan as I get ready using their bathroom. I know he'll be home any minute.
It's early and I am not in the mood, unless you want a good punch to the face.
Thankfully once I'm ready, Carly is awake making breakfast for herself as I step into the kitchen.
"He'll be home soon. I'll see you sometime this weekend?" She stuffs her mouth full with cereal.
"Of course." I tell her before heading to my car and leaving.
***
"He what!" For some reason telling this story again still stings. As I tell Jules, she's beyond pissed. "Oh he's going to hear an ear full once I get off work!" She pounds her tiny fist against the island.
"No you won't, I am giving him a few days to think about it. I haven't talked to him since Monday its now Wednesday. Please don't."
"You can't tell me that and fucking expect me to be okay with it Tayzley. I protect the ones I care for. I may be small but I'm powerful when it comes to being verbally aggressive."
"Yes I know, also physically." I point the poor innocent trash can she used as a kick boxing bag.
"On shut up. You do it too."
"Once Jules, once. All of that is you."
Her face turns a slight red. "Well still. Its better than hurting a human being."
"True."
"Exactly."
Once her days ends, I really wonder if she going to actually go and find him. She's Jules and I know if she does find him I'll hear about it.
Tanner's POV
As I watch Bobby and Mike play pool I chug down my fifth beer. It hasn't hit me yet but once I have another I'm sure I'll be swimming along with the blood in my veins.
I've been non stop texting and calling Tayzley but she hasn't responded and I'm starting to catch the drift that she wants nothing to do with me. I have no idea why I used that word towards her, why I said that about her lipstick, because none of that was true or meant to be said.
I was pissed and didn't even get the full story before I ran my mouth.
She probably hates every part of me. I don't blame her.
It's just something about that Axle guy doesn't settle right with me.
Calling for another beer I head to the restroom to piss. I guess I am more drunk then I thought, because when I stand all the blood rushes to my feet and I stumble into someone.
Not just anyone, but Jules.
Oh shit.
"Listen here pal, you really have a lot of fucking nerve doing what you did to Tayzley the other night, calling her that disgusting crude name. It's like the pot calling the kettle black. You have no room to talk. Says the one who cheated on his wife, still married might I add. That's fucking adultery. You're in a committed relationship, keep it that way. Why would she follow in your damn foot steps? She's loyal to you. That guy? Axle shouldn't be a threat. Yeah he kissed her, yeah you were there both times. She didn't want that and you had to go call her a slut. You remember Seth from high school, my now husband of three years and soon to be many more. Why do I say this? Because he knows how to treat me and every day I fall madly in love with him, hell he slips up sometimes, but never once has he called me a foul name because he was angry. So this is what I want you to do...not take that beer and get water, sober the fuck up and go apologize to her and be real about it. If you don't I will find you again and personally castrate you myself, got that?" She doesn't even give me a beat to speak because her long spew took all the words from me and stomped on them with her boots.
I glance at the clock above her head on the wall. Five thirty....It's that early and I'm already drunk getting my ass chewed out because I fucked up.
Yep.
"I'm drunk, I can't drive." I admit.
"No shit, I can smell the beer on you from here. Sober up then go. Eat food drink water. I'm done here. Oh and Tanner?"
"Yea-" before I finish I'm on the ground cupping the front of my pants in my hands, groaning in pain.
"I deserved that," I croke. Really deserved it.
***
As soon as I feel sober enough to drive and my nuts have stopped burning, I tell the boys that I have somethings to do. But with the smug looks on their faces they know exactly what I am up to.
Many things and words run through my mind of what I'm going to say to her, but when I see her, folding towels, her back turned to me. I choke on my tongue and forget each thing I was even thinking about saying to her.
I clear my throat and she turns around. I was expecting exactly what I got, a glare of disgust.
"I'll leave once I'm done and if this doesn't at all help then I'll leave for good."
"I don't have all day Tanner." But she sets her towel down and gives me her full attention.
"I didn't mean any of that...I was angry. I should have, for one: told you I was coming to the club. It was Bobby's Idea and I think it was because of your friend." I'm shit at these, why is it so damn hard? " I should have let you explain yourself."
"Thats the thing I shouldn't have to. I told you he kissed me. I didn't want him too."
"I know, but I was so overwhelmed and other thoughts overtook my mind and I just couldn't stop the words that came out. When I said that I suddenly felt my fucking heart fall to my ass, Tayzley. I really am sorry." I give her the most sincere look I can possibly give, taking cautious steps towards her. I think for a moment she won't let me but when I'm looking directly down upon her and I can see the way her breathing changes, she doesn't care that I am this close to her.
"You really are shit at apologies," she whispers, biting down on her bottom lip.
I trace her lower lip and pull it from her teeth. "I know, baby." I bend slightly and capture her lips, softly tugging them between mine, and she sighs. Not wanting to pull away from this, because this is what we are.
This crazy, out of our minds mess is what we are.
"By the way, your friend Jules...Shes scary as hell when shes mad."
She laughs, pulling back looking up at me with the quirkiest smile. "I know, ask that trash can over there." I look to where she is pointing and I suddenly feel for this everyday used object.
(So because a certain person really wanted an update (DeemaAwad1D) I decided I would update and let you guys out of your misery.
I sweat they are so damn bipolar. Lol
I hope you guys enjoys the chapter.
Comment and vote.
I love you guys)
(P.s. go read 35 days by my love _RosaMartin. It would mean so much to her and I both if you did. )