" Life is to be lived, not controlled; and humanity is won by continuing to play in face of certain defeat."
-Ralph Ellison
LIL'S POV:
The tiny Queen's finger wobbled as it pointed to me.
Wait. She was pointing at me.
"M-me?" I stuttered, unable to form a more coherent sentence.
Why would the Queen be pointing at me?
Well now that I think of it, it could have something to do with the fact that I'm not really supposed to be here. Alina and Peter did say something about visitors on Neverland having to go through the Queen first. But, why was she pointing at me as if I was some plague that has infected her land? Like some mutant creature she can hardly believe she's looking at?
I feel naked under the intense stares of everyone around me. Any sense of confidence I gained from my brief show down with Coast is long gone. I can feel myself heating up, feel the sweat beading on my upper lip. And the thought of it being there made the whole situation even worse. How embarrassing. How absolutely mortifying.
Just as I'm about to choke out another sentence, I hear a shrill scream from someone behind me.
"MOTHER!" The voice yells.
The Queen's attention tears from mine onto whoever is approaching from behind me. Finally, I feel the relief of eyes leaving me and looking away. They could be staring at a tree for all I care, as long as it isn't me.
I release a breath and wrap my arms around myself. I bite my lip and stare at the floor, struggling to keep myself together.
I'm not a fan of all the spotlight. Especially not when it's the bloody Queen who's glaring at me.
"MOTHER!" The voice shouts again as it gets closer, "What are you doing to her? Leave her alone!"
My head still cast to the ground, I feel small feet land on my shoulder and tiny arms wrap around a few curls of my hair.
I don't have to look up to know it's Alina. She must have heard the commotion going on from in Jonathan's room and came down to see what it was. My guess was that she was unpleasantly surprised by her Mother.
Alina strokes the side of my face with her gentle hand, "Are you alright? Did she hurt you?"
"Hurt her?" Alina's Mother asks, sounding appalled, "I would neved harm a mortal."
Alina scoffs, "You know that's a lie, Mother. You've done it before and you'd just as easily do it again."
"ALINA INGRID MARIGOLD," The Queen's voice rises and my head snaps up to look at her, "How dare you address your Queen that way."
I feel Alina take a step into the protection of my curly hair, but she stands her ground nonetheless,
"You're not my Queen. You're my mother. And if you're hurting my friend, I don't even want you to be that."
Queen Madelyn's face is twisted into that one of rage she arrived here with. One that could surely smolder any living creature on the other end of it's stare. The rosy-paleness of her cheeks had left and was replaced with an ugly red. I couldn't tell if it was anger, or embarassment. Her lips were curled into a snarl and her arms shaking. But just as quickly as it was there, it was gone, replaced by a stone-hard look that I had seen so many other Queens wear before. I too wore that face sometimes, around school or my parents. It was one that said 'I'm going to pretend this isn't bothering me'.
Queen Madelyn took a short breath and looked back at her daughter, this time annoyance in her voice,
"I have not brought any harm to your friend. Have I, dear?"
It took me a moment to realize she was talking to me.
"Oh, n-no... Your Majesty."
Was that too informal? Too forced? I'd never addressed a Queen before, so a proper conversation would be nearly impossible but I wasn't about to act like some savage in front of this lady.
I heard some snickers from the Lost Boys around me. I looked around, confused at what had happened.
Alina spoke in my ear, "They're laughing because no one calls her that. They think it's too proper."
"That is because they are young, immature boys with no respect for royalty." The Queen stated as she looked down upon them all.
They all cast their eyes downward, some kicking pebbles with their feet, and looking excruciatingly guilty.
"But, my dear, you needn't worry about them. It seems you have the proper mind to behave as you should in front of a Queen." Madelyn said.
I brought my eyes up to her again, and bowed my head slightly. Was I supposed to do that? I'd seen it in movies, which was really all I had to go off here.
"Now. My sweet girl, as you may have heard, my name is Queen Madelyn. I am the ruler of all of Fairy Meadow, and every fae that resides on this island. I control the animals as well as the weather on occasion, but the island has a mind of it's own. Also, as you most likely know, I am Alina's Mother."
"Not by choice..." Alina sighed, crossing her arms on my shoulder.
Madelyn gave Alina another look that silenced her. I would have laughed, but I was still too stunned to say much of anything.
Did the Queen often speak to people lower than her -- people like me -- with such endearing terms? Or maybe they weren't meant as endearing. Maybe more as a way to show us she's higher than us.
Madelyn continued on, her wings steadily holding her in front of me, "Now that I've told you my name, why don't you tell me yours."
"I'm Lilith, Your Majesty. Lilith Ma-"
"DON'T." Alina hissed in my ear.
My mouth snapped shut.
"If you tell her your full name, there's no way you can avoid any of her punishments. Now or in the future. She can't write your name in any documents if she doesn't know it."
Queen Madelyn's brow twitched at her daughter's comment. She put back on that plastic smile and rested her arms over her dress,
"Lilith. What a lovely name. Derived from the Lily flower? Directly translated means 'of the night'. Do you find yourself to be a night owl, Lilith?"
She spat out fact after fact so quickly that I had trouble keeping up. Did she say something about an owl?
When I didn't answer, she flew a bit closer to me.
"I don't suppose you would consider yourself a trouble maker, do you Lilith? I would hope it's in your best intentions to do nothing but good, and seeing as you somehow found your way onto this island, I'd say that being a good little girl really IS in your best interest."
She spoke the whole thing as if I were a child. In a high pitched, too cheerful voice that sent ice down my spine.
Alina moved out from my curls and hissed at her mother. She actually hissed. Like a caged animal.
"Don't you even come close to Lilith, Mother." She snarled close to my ear.
Queen Madelyn chuckled, unphased by Alina, "Was that a threat?"
My tongue was tied in knots. I should say something! I should defend myself or at least defend Alina! But after the way Queen Madelyn spoke to me... I just want to crawl under a rock and stay there.
Next thing I knew, Wendi was pushing her way beside me. She looped her arm around me and stood defiantly against the Queen.
"No. But this is." Wendi spoke with a calm tone, "Touch her, and there's going to be a problem."
At that, the three fairy guards raised theirs swords and moved to protect the Queen. Their faces were ones of fury, wanting to protect their Queen, but she only laughed again.
"Oh my, my. Look at that! You've brought a friend along." She glanced around at the group of boys, "How many other little surprises have you got stashed around here?"
Alina flew out from my hair and faced her Mother, "Why did you come?"
Queen Madelyn's smug face studied Alina. Flying next to each other, it was quite remarkable how similar they looked. Even in age, the Queen did not look to be that much older than Alina, but I knew that was impossible. Then again, that word 'impossible' has lost most of it's meaning lately.
There was no doubt in my mind that Alina was infinitely more beautiful than the Queen. The Queen had lines of worry etched into her cheeks, and her shimmering wings looked weathered compared to Alina's. And yet, this didn't for a moment demolish the elegance of her motions or rhythm of her wing beats. She looked... well... like a Queen.
Madelyn reached forward and patted Alina's head. The way a parent might do if they cared for someone, but this didn't look that way.
"In case you've forgotten, I sent you on a specific mission. Find that ignorant boy and bring him back here immediately. Instead, I find you missing for nearly two weeks, and when I find that you've finally returned, it is not you I recieve the news from."
Alina put her hands on her hips, "Who DID tell you?"
Madelyn grinned and pointed to the sky, "You think you're protected from me here, don't you? You think these scrabbling boys can conceal you from me? You're wrong, Alina. I have my people everywhere. There is not one place in Neverland that you can go and I will not find you."
Alina moved her arms to go across her chest. I could tell by her posture that the story her Mother told disappointed her. Maybe she was trying to hide out here.
"Why do you care about Lilith?" Alina asked, "She's just a human."
"Just a human?" The Queen laughed, "Firstly, you know it is strictly forbidden to bring outsiders into Neverland -- and you bring three."
"Technically I brought one. The other three just followed." Alina defended.
"Other three? You mean to tell me there are four new mortals here?"
I felt Wendi stiffen beside me. She was worried about her brothers, like always. I understand her concern, but at the moment my biggest worry was us. The Queen did not look happy about visitors.
Alina dramatically rolled her eyes, "You said 'firstly' so there must be another reason you care. Get on with it."
Madelyn did not look pleased to be bossed around, but she complied. Although, she savored the moment of Alina's unknowing by widening her eyes and leaning forward.
"You mean to tell me you haven't put the pieces together yet?" The Queen snickered.
Alina didn't budge.
The Queen put one hand against her temples, "And to think you could be the future Queen one day."
Now Alina looked angry, "I haven't got all day, Queen."
Madelyn shook her head, "You've been with the girl all this time and you haven't stopped to think for a moment that she could be the Kulethe?"
Now Alina looks moved. The pace of her fluttering wings slows down, signalling a change in her thoughts. As small as she is, I can see the look of inquiry on her face. She stares at the ground, contemplating something, then looks back to me. This time, the look is one of discovery. As if she was seeing me in a new light, for the first time.
The Queen sees this too.
"Ah, so the young Princess has thought about it."
I keep my eyes on Alina.
What was the word the Queen used? Kulethe?
Alright. I'm getting seriously tired of all these weird nicknames for things in a language I don't understand. It's extremely frustrating to hear a word and not comprehend it's meaning. Especially this word, because it some how involves me.
"Um, I might be what, exactly?" I speak up, my hands shaking by my side.
The Queen smiles, and flies even closer to me.
"Perhaps it would be better if we discussed this in a more private place? I don't know if it's best for these young ones to know all about your destiny."
"My what? My destiny?" I ask, flabbergasted.
What the heck does destiny have to do with any of this?
Madelyn sighs, "My dear child, all will be explained, of that I can promise you. But first," She looks up to all the Lost Boys, "Will somebody bring forth that presumptuous boy so that I may wring his neck for the all the trouble he has caused me?"
I look over at Wendi. She still has her arm linked with mine, and she tries to give me a reassuring smile. I feel her pat my hand with hers. Although I can tell she looks as equally confused as I feel.
I bite my lip, feeling unnerved at this whole situation. Queen Madelyn speaks of my destiny, on top of the fact that she called me the 'Kulethe'. Not to mention how shocked she looked when she first saw me. How could I, a small town girl from Ireland, be connected to any bigger part of anything remotely having to do with this place? Up until a while ago, I thought it was only make believe. A fairytale spun by an author who's imagination was bigger than the world. But now I know. I know that every magical detail, every juicy secret written in that book, is real. Minus a few altercations since the author left, but still.
Amidst my thoughts, I heard a crow call and a voice.
"Heard you were looking for me."
Peter.
The Queen plus everyone around me turns to gaze at him. Too many factors contribute to why I don't. I even feel Wendi turn, but I keep my head forward. I release my arm from Wendi's and wrap it around myself. I suddenly feel a cold that rattles me to my core, on the dawning realization that I'd have to face Peter soon enough.
"So he returns." The Queen says, unimpressed, "I must say, I'm surprised you came back at all."
I hear him chuckle, "Of course I did. You think I'd leave my Lost Boys without me?"
The Lost Boys holler briefly in response. The Queen does not look pleased. My eyes fixated on my bare, slightly red feet, I see the Queen cross her hands over her chest.
"Well I just assumed since you found a new toy to play with, you'd be more interested in... other activities."
Peter was silent. I knew this made him angry. In my time with him I've discovered that he doesn't enjoy talking about serious things. He's all about having fun, and doing things his way.
I could easily see why he and the Queen don't get along.
"I'm back, aren't I?" Peter retorted.
"Not soon enough!" The Queen yelled, "You know-," She stopped to compose herself, "You know how much this Island needs you. Never mind that. Why don't you escort us somewhere more private and we can talk."
I can almost hear him roll his eyes, "Private? Really?"
The Queen straightens her back and holds her head higher, "Now, Peter."
I hear him sigh, "Fine. In the tree house," Next he speaks to the Boys, "Lads, go collect some food will ya? I'm starting."
The Lost Boys all answered with a cheerful, "Aye aye!" And went on their ways. Scurrying around me, hustling to grab weapons and run deeper into the forest.
Wendi, understanding that this private meeting did not include her, gave my shoulder a quick squeeze, and then followed her younger brother into the forest.
Once the area was cleared, Queen Madelyn looked down at me, "Come. Let us all go and speak."
This was it. This was when I'd finally have to turn around and face Peter. I felt a knot in my stomach, twisting tighter and tighter at each passing minute.
The Queen gracefully flew past me, her fairy guards following close behind, and trailed by a shy-looking Alina who refused to meet my eye as she passed.
That little fairy is seriously going to get it if she thinks she's leaving me alone with Peter.
Slowly, and quite awkwardly, I turn around. I see Peter, sitting on top of a few crates of something, Indian-style and with his hand under his chin. When we make eye contact, it's brief. He stands up quickly and kicks a hole in the crate he's standing on. I jump, frightened by his sudden actions. He reaches inside the crate and pulls out two apples.
He takes a big, sloppy bite out of one sparkling red apple, and tosses the other to me. I catch it, clumsily, and feel my cheeks heat up.
"Thanks." I mutter.
He nods his head, taking another loud bite out of the apple.
"I'm guessing Madelyn wants to 'talk' to you to?" Peter spits through a full mouth of apple.
I nod, "She thinks I'm... well... I don't know what she thinks I am. But she refuses to talk about it publicly."
Peter chuckles, "That's the Queen for you. Always making a spectical out of everything. It's probably no big deal. I'm the one who's in trouble."
"But why?" I ask, as I take a step towards him.
He rolls his eyes, "Apparently this island and I are 'connected', or so Madelyn says. She thinks that what I'm feeling or doing is reflected on the island. It protects me, as I protect it. And when I'm away, things go haywire. It's like Neverland doesn't know what to do without me."
I scrunch my eyebrows, "You don't think she's telling the truth?"
"Of course I do," He smiles one of this heart melting smiles that shows off his dimples, "I'm so spectacular that even the island can't get enough of me."
I laugh and tuck a strand of hair beneath my ear. It's as if nothing ever happened between Peter and I. He's back to talking to me again, I see. And he's not even being weird about it. Although, he hasn't brought anything up about what happened. He completely lost his cool this morning, and I saw something out of him I'd never seen before, or heard of him doing. But now, he's behaving as if it's all a distant memory. One that's healed over, been forgiven, and forgotten.
And boys say girls are complicated?
There's a loud horn blown from above us. I look up to see a fairy guard blowing into his trumpet thing.
"The Queen would like you both to hurry." He announces.
I shake my head, "She's no fun, is she?"
He ruffles his golden waves and tosses the apple core across the forest, "Nah. She wakes up on the wrong side of her precious fairy bed every day. Either that, or her corset's too tight."
I cover my mouth to hold in a fit of giggles that I know will sound extremely unattractive.
He chuckles again, "You're lucky Alina isn't like her Mother."
I bring my hand down and press it against my abdomen, silencing the laughter, "Yes, I suppose I am. But you know, she looked just as shocked as her Mother did when she first saw me after Madelyn called me that name. It's so bizarre. And then she mentioned something about my 'destiny'."
He scrunches his button nose, "What'd she call you?"
"I can't quite remember. Something in that language they speak. But, just the way Alina looked. It... it worries me."
He shook his head and waved me off, "I wouldn't worry about it. The Queen is full of lies and deception. You can never trust a word she says."
The horn blows again from above, more forceful.
Peter stands up and holds his hand down to me, "We better go. Before that horn player makes himself faint."
I smile. Peter is quite the joker. But what's more satisfying than his jokes is the way he seems to think that's he's just so brilliant, and his jokes are so hilarious. It's cute, actually.
Cautiously, I take his hand. For some reason, I get a deja vu sensation. This picture looks all too familiar. But before I put any more thought into it, Peter is lifting the two of us up to the tree house, where our 'bearer of bad fortune' awaits us both.
A/N: Im so sorry this is late! It's not even all I wanted to post but I needed to post something!
I've decided to change update day to Sunday, that way I'll definitely have it done each week.
Thanks guys :)
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