"So, this is the young lady that made my honey bun have a sleepover yesterday night?" Changbin hyung commented after knocking at my opened door.
"Hyung...you came..."
I have been lying on my bed for an hour now. Jinsu has been with me ever since I came up as well.
Jinsu tried to have the previous conversation we were having in the kitchen, but when she saw that I was getting upset -not really-, she stopped and just lay next to me, hugging and pouting at me until she made me laugh.
"Honey bun?" Jinsu sat up from my bed and looked at me and Changbin hyung with a confused expression, "why did you call Ji honey bun?"
My brother chuckled, "I guess he hasn't told you about it, huh? Well, let me tell you why. I'm willing to fill you up with that information..."
"No, you are not willing, hyung." I warned my brother, and this just winked at me before entering my room and putting the bags of food on my lap.
"I bet she wants to know, am I right, Miss Jinsu?"
"Oh! Yes!" She stood up swiftly and left my side. "I want to know why!"
Jinsu and Changbin hyung started to introduce themselves as they were walking to the entrance of my room. While they were doing that, I started rummaging through the bags of food my brother brought.
I heard how they shared some words and laughs before my brother called me downstairs to have dinner altogether.
My brother and Jinsu clicked right away and soon both of them were teasing me for a very embarrassing memory of my childhood.
"Ji~~ so, that is why your brother calls you 'honey bun'? That is soooo cuteeee~~,"
"Yah!" I narrowed my eyes at Changbin hyung, "why did you tell her that? That was supposed to be a secret, hyung..."
"Hahaha, Jinsu will keep it. She promised it..." He laughed.
"I know, but I don't know why you also-"
"Honey bun, bun, bun... Honey bun, bun, bun... I want a kiss and a bun from my Changbin hyung-"
"HWANG JINSU!!!" I hurried to cover her mouth when I heard her repeating that tune, "Stop singing that!"
"Aahhhh~~ Why?~~ Hahahahaha~~" Jinsu burst into laughter as she turned around to throw in my arms to hug me. "You are so cute and sweet~ I can't get that song out of my head. It's so catchy. I can picture you singing that in a bus stop waiting for your big brother to come and pick you up or aaahhh~~ I can picture a lot of scenarios where you could sing it~~" she kept whining with imaginary scenarios that I'm not sure if they really happened or not.
Not only her, but my brother also joined her. So this time, I covered my face with my hands in embarrassment.
Changbin hyung just told Jinsu the story behind the sweet name he gave me.
When I was four years old, Changbin hyung used to work with an uncle of ours that had a very small and humble bakery store.
My uncle taught my brother, who was still too young, how to get money. Also, how to defend himself in life in order to take care of me.
One of the first things he learned was to make honey buns. That was the specialty of my uncle and aunt's small business.
They were good at baking, but running a business when you have no money to invest is quite difficult. So, since the business was not so good at that time, they had to go outside and sell the product on the streets. Only in this way, they could sell everything they made.
Well, almost everything.
Changbin hyung always got back home with two pieces of bread he had made. He hid them from my uncle because he wanted to share them with me.
The first time he came home, I was watching cartoons. When my brother sat next to me and gave me a honey bun, my reaction was more meaningful for him than any word I could ever utter. I jumped out of my spot when I gave the first bite and lunged at him to hug him.
It was so soft and so sweet that it almost made me cry. It had a faint smell of honey and cinnamon. A combination that is still in my mind and heart.
My brother loved my reactions, so he gave me his own piece of bread just to witness it again.
From that day, and onwards, I waited for my brother who had gone to help my uncle in hope of receiving another bite of that heavenly delicacy.
No matter the time, Changbin hyung always came to me with two honey buns.
It was supposed to be one for him and one for me, but he always ended up giving me both.
I was so used to receiving them that I always sang a song while waiting for my brother. One of those short and lame songs that children tend to invent when they are happy.
When he heard me sing the song, he started to call me honey bun. He said I was as sweet as the honey and had a heart as soft as the bread. That is something that always made me chuckle. So, in return, I started to call him 'honey' due to the same meaning. I still use it, but when the occasions demand it. Especially those times in which my brother is needy of his little brother's love and attention.
As I was growing up, I told him not to tell anyone the backstory of that name because it was embarrassing for me to hear such a song.
He told me he would keep it for himself because he loved it and wouldn't like to share it with anyone.
But today, he just happened to share it.
I don't know if he is in such a good mood today or if Jinsu is the culprit of all this.
Maybe both.
"Yah! Hyung!" I nudged my brother when Jinsu went to the bathroom and was nowhere near to hear me. "Why did you do that? Why did you tell her about it?"
He chuckled as he ruffled my hair, "she insisted to know, and, well, it is a story I love, unlike you that hate it."
"I don't hate it," I groaned, "it's just...I-..ugh! I was four years old and I was dumb and-"
"Don't worry. Jinsu won't change her mind about you." He smiled at me softly, "there's no way about it."
"Huh? What do you mean-"
"Ji~" Jinsu suddenly came from behind me, startling me, "I forgot to ask. I'm staying today, right?"
"Huh? Stay?" I turned to my side to look at my brother, "hyung? Is it okay if Jinsu stays?"
"Of course. Why would you two even ask?" he replied, raising an eyebrow, "it's late, and this young lady shouldn't be outside alone at this hour, you know?"
Jinsu tittered, "thank you, Oppa. By the way, is it okay if Ji and I sleep in the same bed-"
"Oppa?" I turned my whole body in Jinsu's direction, "Oppa?" I inquired for a second time.
The sudden name got me aback.
She looked at me and slanted her head, "what's wrong, Ji?"
I clicked my tongue when I remembered something about that word. "Yah! Who are you calling 'Oppa'?" I flicked her in the forehead, scolding, "don't go around calling guys 'Oppa',"
"Ouch~," Jinsu scrubbed her forehead, confused, "yah! Why did you-" but then smirked as if she found something interesting about my reaction. "Wait...what do you mean? What do I see here? Are you perhaps jealous-"
"Pfft..." I rolled my eyes, "me? Why would I?"
My brother laughed, and this made us turn to see him, "honey bun, did you forget already? She said it because I'm older. People from the same age, like you two, don't use honorifics, remember?"
I took a bite of bread and ignored them when the information hit me, "yeah, yeah...now, I remember."
He shook his head while still laughing at me, "don't mind him, Jinsu. My little brother never understood the differences in the ages until he was seven years old. He called me 'hyung' because I always scolded him when he did not."
"Really?" Jinsu asked, bemused, "and why does the song have 'hyung' in it?"
"Well, I thank God it does not have an 'Oppa' there, you know?" he laughed loudly, "he once called me Oppa when I started to teach him about the differences and even-"
"Yah! Hyung! That's TMI-"
"I love TMI!!!" Jinsu hurried me to shut up, "please, tell me more, Oppa~,"
"Yah! You- Stop calling him like that!"
"Aaahhh~~" Jinsu whined, "no, until you tell me you are jealous~,"
"I told you I'm not! I- it just- it just sounds weird, that's all. Stop doing it!"
"Well, I won't!" Jinsu humphed and went to sit next to Changbin hyung, childishly sticking her tongue in my direction.
"You-"
"Oppa, can you tell me more about Ji...?"
"Sure, I can," My brother answered with a bright smile, "what would you like to know?"
"What about...everything?"
"Hahaha, that would take me years, but I'll gladly try."
I sighed tiredly after being ignored. So, the next thing I did was drown myself in food and listen for the next hour and a half more embarrassing stories about my childhood.
These two were really invested in the conversation.
My brother is a proud mom that likes to brag about his child while Jinsu seems to be the type of woman that likes to take notes in order to steal the children and adopt them.
These two complemented themselves quite well even though the main topic of their conversations was always me.
"Well, Jinsu..." My brother rose up after a while of talking and looked at his phone. "I would like to keep on talking more about my baby boy, but I need to wake up early tomorrow,"
"Awww, that's a shame..." Jinsu complained with a pout, "but I completely understand. You need to rest. Thank you for telling me this much, opp-" she cut herself as she cleared her throat to steal a glance at me, "umm...have a good night."
Changbin hyung noticed this but didn't comment on anything. He just took a glance at me and slightly snorted.
"You too, Jinsu. Please feel free to roam wherever you feel like it in this house. You are welcome here...and honey bun," he came to me and cupped both of my cheeks, "stop being so moody~," he squeezed my cheeks before planting kisses on each one of them, "I know you better than anyone, and I know how you are with the people you like. Don't be jealous. She's all yours as long as you keep being mine and only mine, okay?"
"Hyung- I'm not jealous- I don't know why are you telling me this-"
Changbin hyung leaned to my face and scrutinized me with narrowed eyes, "I know you," he concluded, "don't hide things from your brother."
This made me blush in embarrassment. Since I didn't know how to reply, I just nodded.
"Good. Take care and make Jinsu feel at home, alright?"
"Yes, hyung. I will."
"Good night."
My brother really knows me better than anyone, and he is always the first one to notice when something is different inside of me, even before I know it.
That time there was really something different inside of me, and he was the one that discovered it even before I had the minimum idea of what could that possibly be.
Once my brother was out of sight, Jinsu remained seated in her spot as she tried to make eye contact with me.
"Ji..."
I tried to avoid looking at her eyes since I felt odd. For some reason, I felt hurt by her, and I didn't know why.
"Yes?"
"Are you really mad about it?"
I didn't reply. I just kept looking at the table, looking for possible answers.
"I'm not going to call him or anyone 'Oppa' if that bothers you, okay?" She said softly, "I'm sorry..."
Hearing this made my heart sink, so I lifted my head to look at those precious eyes that were looking at me with a soft expression.
I don't even know why I suddenly became like this.
It was so strange, but seeing Jinsu act all sweet and caring with my brother made me uneasy.
I mean, I should be happy that they got along so easily. I have always introduced everyone to my brother and nothing like this has ever happened. All of my close friends love my brother and vice-versa, and I never felt this way towards anyone.
Jinsu it is not like I have known her since a long time ago. Well, in reality, it is like that. However, we met in a bad circumstance and never saw each other again until yesterday. But the fact I feel so connected with her triggers me.
In all honesty, what bothered me was that her attention was to another guy that wasn't me.
My brother once told me that 'Oppa' was an honorific that girls used to call older men in order to show respect, not only to their brothers but also to their lovers. So, knowing this last meaning made me kind of upset, jealous even.
From yesterday and up until this afternoon, Jinsu has made me feel so special and seeing someone else having that tag name put me in this mood.
I really don't get it. I have never been jealous of my friends.
I have always been clinging to the people I like the most. That's a fact. But I was never jealous of the friends of my friends.
After a while of staring at Jinsu, I stood up and went in her direction.
"Jinsu..." I whispered.
"Yes, Ji?"
I lifted her face a little to lock eyes with her.
Her long eyelashes made her beautiful eyes look bigger, and that pout on those red lips just stole my gaze.
She was so beautiful that for seconds made me forget what I really wanted to say.
"What do you think about cheesy people?"
She tilted her head, "cheesy people? I don't know...why?"
I hesitated for a moment. I didn't know how to explain the next thing with words, so I found actions more useful.
I lifted Jinsu from her small waist and placed her gently above the table. I spread her legs, put myself in the middle, and stared at her.
Her eyes went wide, and her lips parted to say something. However, I didn't wait for what she was about to say. I just encircled her waist in a warm hug, and after that, I placed my chin on her shoulder and sighed, "there's something my brother didn't tell you about me, Jinsu..."
"W-what is it?" she stuttered.
"I'm very clingy..." I whispered with my eyes closed, "and very much towards people I love. Does that bother you? Should I not be like this with you?"
She froze. I heard how she gulped, and her heartbeat skyrocketed.
My instinct made me want to retrieve, but when Jinsu sensed this, she immediately locked me in a tight hug. "...I-I love you too. Be clingy to me whenever you want and however you like. You have my permission."
"Are you sure?" I mumbled as my arms gripped her body, "I'm so annoying when it comes to skinship..."
"Absolutely."
I separated from her arms and planted a kiss on her cheek.
"Thank you, Jin-ssi. By the way, call 'Oppa' whoever you like. It won't bother me. I'm sorry for earlier..."
She shook her head, "I won't call anyone like that, nor even if you tell me. I didn't like how you looked upset, Ji. I never want to make you upset..."
I chuckled, "don't be silly. Even if you ever upset me, I won't last upset for too long..."
That night, I took Jinsu to my room and lent her some of my clothes.
This time I didn't refrain myself and hugged her and cuddled her as much as my heart wanted.
I don't know what Jinsu had, but ever since I met her that first time, I always felt the need to protect her in my arms.
~~~
After those two days of spending time with her, I didn't know if I would ever see Jinsu again.
Why is this? Well, it is because that time, when I accompanied her to her house, she disappeared for a whole week, almost two.
I didn't know if I did something wrong or not, but I decided to give her her space, even though I was dying to see her.
It was like God had sent me the sweetest dessert one day, and the next, he took it from me to return me to that empty world I had been living in the previous years.
I was just remembering those sweet moments of laughing with her, going to her school to watch her teach, seeing her whining with my brother, etc. I felt miserable remembering this as if it had been such a long time ago.
However, my misery ended so soon.
The following day, Jinsu started to go to the coffee shop, more pretty than any other day.
She said she got busy with school and some personal things she was taking care of. That is why she disappeared.
Also, Jinsu said that she would be coming to her coffee shop every day. She mentioned that if I could take the burden of two jobs and do other stuff in the middle, she then could deal with college and take care of her own business as well.
I got so happy about it because I would be able to see her more often. Her company brightened my days.
However, my days working in the coffee shop weren't as pleasant as I imagined.
They became a complete disaster. Very stressful.
Actually, it was a total lie that she came to learn how to manage the business. The silly girl just came to spend time with me and nothing else.
When Jinsu came to the coffee shop, she spent the whole time following me from one side to the other, making me laugh, talking with me or dragging me behind the counter to have meals with me, or looking for skinship.
When someone accidentally bumped with me or spilled coffee on my clothes, she shot them a glare and was ready to fight them.
I had to go over there and scold her more than one time. She was the boss and the owner but still acted as everyone was her enemy. I had to nag her when she behaved like that. It was like dealing with a cute puppy. It stressed me that Jinsu acted like that, but it also stole more than one smile and laugh from me.
The employees in the shop became tense whenever Jinsu was there, so I had to suggest seeing us when I wasn't working.
Fortunately, Jinsu gladly accepted my suggestion.
Since her house was the one that was always alone, Jinsu told me that I could go whenever I wish and stay over if I pleased.
If I'm honest, all these days I've been in such a good mood. I'm starting to see life from another perspective, and all of this I owe to Jinsu.
I never in my life imagined I would find a friend like her, and less in the middle of a hideous party, full of junkies.
How can I ever dream about it if everyone there was not a good influence? Except for Yunbi and Jinsu, of course.
Other than them, all were immature people full of themselves and without objectives or purpose in life. They just wanted to have fun no matter what.
Luckily, Jinsu didn't let herself be dragged into the world of those people. She followed my advice that time and got rid of those friends she had. She started to pay more attention to whom she talked to, and soon she was starting to get good friends. Friends that she's been mentioning to me since we started to talk.
According to what Jinsu told me, she was quite popular among girls and guys. I even saw some messages telling her to hang out with them whenever she had the time.
But Jinsu never replied. I always pushed her to accept those invitations, but she always preferred to hang out with me and even cancel their plans just to be with me way too often, something I didn't like her to do.
No matter how much advice I gave to Jinsu, I always ended up committing them. I also didn't pay attention to my close friends anymore just to be with her.
Thanks to this, we became close in no time and even best friends for all the deep things we shared.
Jinsu and I hung out a lot. More than usual.
I went over to her house almost every day.
When I finished my shift, I usually called Changbin hyung, telling him that I would arrive late.
He knew where I was, so he never got worried. He preferred to hear that I would be with Jinsu than with Hyun-su. So, if I arrived late, as long as I told him that I came from Jinsu's home, he would relax.
I practically lived with her. In Jinsu's home, we did almost everything.
We cooked, we danced, we played, we watched movies, and a big number of physical activities she liked to experiment with. Since the house was so big, she had a special room for a different activity, so we took advantage of that.
Even though she liked to go shopping and I liked to visit new places around Seoul, we always came back to her house and chilled a bit.
It was a shame how messy her kitchen always ended up. Most of the time it was me who made a mess there, especially the first time I tried to bake a chocolate cake.
It was Jinsu's birthday, so she wanted me to prepare something special for her.
At the end of the day, we had to go to a bakery store for the cake she wanted because the one I made was not edible.
The reason for this is that we got so distracted laughing and joking around, so I forgot to check upon the oven.
It was her fault, in all honesty. Jinsu was not letting me go on purpose because she wanted me to hug her all the time since it was her birthday. So, the result was that. Not a special cake for Jinsu.
When we came back from the bakery store, we couldn't even eat that cake. This is because when Jinsu was about to put the cake in the fridge, this one slipped from her hands and fell right in her shoes.
I laughed so hard about it because the way she looked at me was so cute. Her expression of disappointment and the want to laugh mixed.
However, she burst into tears at the end, which ended up in me apologizing for at least two hours for laughing so hard. I kept rubbing her back and telling her that I would be buying another cake for her as if she was a little child.
And so I did. Actually, I got two more cakes just to make her happy.
---