RAVEN
Flashback:
16 Year old Raven sat on the edge of the small, twin sized bed with her face in her hands as she cried silently. It was painful to be crouched over for so long since she had the weight of her pregnant, 7 month old belly to deal with. A thin, bright blue spaghetti strapped t-shirt on her back and solid grey joggers covering her legs. Her curly hair pulled up in a light ponytail. She looked like a train wreck.
"So what you gonna' do Rae? My moms ain't putting up with this shit." Her baby daddy, Malcom says.
He was 17. Still a teenager himself. But still her baby's father nonetheless. And so they both would have to agree on a decision. But the problem was that his views went in the opposite direction than hers. And so it was hard for them to come to a solid ground.
"I d-don't know Malcom. She told me that me and the baby could stay-"
"Nah. That's not about to work." Malcom shook his head. "I can't have you living up in here with a kid. She tell you one thing but I know my moms and I know that ain't what she want."
Raven wiped her tears aggressively. If this didn't work out then she would be out on the streets with her baby. She didn't want nor need that. She was a teenager girl growing up in a not so safe part of town. It was easy for her to be taken advantage of.
Raven was tough as nails but right now she was extremely vulnerable. She knew that after the baby that vulnerability would only pile up in numbers. She would have to deal with a lot on her own.
She didn't think Malcom would do this to her. He told her that he loved her. He took her virginity, got her pregnant and promised he would stick things through with her. Granted that they were both young. But she believed him because in her eyes, he had never done wrong and could never do wrong.
Obviously, she was fooled.
"Look Rae, I don't know what the fuck you gon' do but you have to get up outta here. I'll send money and shit but I can't...do this with you right now. I'm sorry."
Sorry. Sorry. That's all he had to say after coming to the conclusion that he would abandon the girl he said he loved and their unborn child?
Raven was perplexed. But at this point, not surprised.
Clenching her jaw, Raven stood up from the foot of his bed. The look on his face made her want to stomp a hole into his head. But instead, Raven slapped him across the face. The slap was hard and fast, leaving a sting to his cheek.
"Fuck you Malcom. Don't even bother contacting me, or my baby. You don't have to worry about us." The 16 year old said. She stood on her words, storming out of his room with her bag in hand.
Malcom's mother was out at the moment. She would be shocked to see that Raven had left. And she would be shocked to know that she raised a bitch, who couldn't own up to the shit he said.
Raven left and never looked back. But at one point in time, when Mila was only but a few months, Malcom made a return.
It wasn't for long. Raven was struggling financially. She depended on her grandmother for housing but she worked at a fast food joint for some time. 18 year old Malcom had graduated and had saved up some cash to give. His parents had gave some up as well.
Raven accepted his apologies and his cash. But only because she figured he had changed.
Negative.
Things took a turn for the worse. Her grandmother fell terribly ill when Mila was one and Raven, now 17.
Malcom left again, claiming that he couldn't stick around but he would keep in touch. Raven didn't hold him back because he had a career to peruse and plus she trusted he would keep in touch.
He didn't. And for the third time, she was left alone. Struggling. All because of him.
Raven became a big stone cold towards men after Malcom. The more she grew the more she realized that there were other, more important things to life. She had a beautiful, intelligent, kind daughter to take care of. She had work and business to handle. She didn't have time to fuck around.
But once she turned 23 she met a guy.
No no, she met a man.
At first she gave him a rough time. But she learned to warm up to that man because he proved to her just how perfect he could be. Just how secure and protective he could be in a relationship. Just how he could be a provider and a lifelong companion. Just how much of an amazing father figure he could be to her baby girl.
And Raven realized, that all the tears she once shed for Malcom, were nothing but a waste.
He wasn't worth it and could never amount to Yoongi Min.
And yet, here she was. Broken over him...
Flashback over.
"He died, Yoongi." Raven whispers.
For a minute, Yoongi was silent. He stared at her with not a single thought behind those coffee brown eyes. His lips slightly parted as he scoped out her expressions. It was hard being in his presence at times because Raven knew that he studied every single detail.
"And I don't...I don't know what to do." She sniffled, looking down at her lap.
How was she going to tell Mila that her father died? Granted, Mila never had a relationship with the man. But that's exactly why it hurt so bad.
Knowing that Mila would never even get the opprobrium was enough to crumble Raven. It hurt so fucking bad. Nobody would every understand that pain for her.
"He wasn't a good man, Yoongi." She tells. "But he was still my baby's father and to k-know....that she'll never get the chance to even- oh god." Raven breaks down.
She couldn't help it. Her emotions were sick of being kept in. She needed to express her pain before it got the best of her and made her lose her mind.
Before she knew it, Suga was pulling her in. Since he was on the floor her head rests on his shoulder. He shushed her and closing his eyes, tilting his head back.
"Shhh, it's alright baby. I'm here." He assured her.
Raven knew that already but she still loved when he said it.
All she could think about was Mila. The poor child was probably scared out of her mind right now. After getting the news, Raven instantly panicked and went into isolation.
She found comfort in the coldness of the porcelain tub, the chillness soothing her nerves for only a bit as she sat crouched in the center.
Mila was probably terrified and worried. Raven hated herself for leaving her baby alone like that but it was her first reaction.
"Breathe, Rae." Yoongi mumbled in her ear, rocking them side to side for a few seconds.
Raven knew things were okay but for some reason it felt alright when Yoongi said it.
"I need to get to Mila." Raven sniffled, standing up on two wobbly legs.
Suga assists her. Holding her hand in his as he showed her out of the bathroom.
Raven could see Mila sitting in the middle of the bed. Her head down as she played with her fingers.
"Mila." Raven calls out.
Mila looked over at Raven. The mother extends her arms, opening them wide as she walked towards the bed.
"You wan' hug mommy?" Mila asked softly.
Raven smiled, nodding her head as a few tears stream from her eyes.
Instantly Mila got up from her spot on the bed and walked into her mothers arm. She stood up on the bed to reach a tall enough height which allowed her to rest her chin on Raven's shoulder.
"It's okay mommy." Mila said.
Raven knew that the child would say anything she thought to help her mother at the moment. Sometimes she thought that Mila was an Angel given to her as a gift, and not a normal child that she was blessed with out of pure coincidence.
Raven nestled her face into Mila's neck, her curls ticking Mila's skin. "I love you so much, my baby." Raven whispers.
"I love you too mommy." Mila says faintly.
Raven looked over to Suga who stood against the wall with a far away look on his face. His eyes fixed on the hugging bodies before him. She always wanted to know what he thought about whenever he got that look.
Sometimes, she wished she could read Yoongi the same way he read her.
_________
3RD PERSON
Two weeks pass...
It was now the 26th of January. Trinity realized that the New Years rush was starting to die down. And a lot of people were returning back to their old ways. Saying fuck it to the New Years resolutions they set for themselves. She knew it would happen though.
It was a dewy Wednesday morning. Despite the depressing weather, Trinity wanted to go for a ride.
She and hoseok got dressed in some warm clothing and grabbed Oreo before loading up in the car. They had no set destination so currently they were driving down an empty road with the music playing in the background.
"When is that dinner with your friend?" Trinity asked.
"Sunday night." Hoseok answers. Trinity hummed. She was looking forward to having dinner with Sik and his wife. Still nervous, but she realized something in all of this.
Hoseok was giving her an insight to his work. Granted Sik was just a friend but still someone hoseok worked with. This is all she ever wanted out of him. Open mindedness and trust.
"I need to take my hair down then." She mutters.
"What? Why? You look cute like that." Hoseok says. Trinity giggled as she picked up one of her braids.
"I might look cute with them but trust me it's time for them to come out. You don't like me with my natural hair?" She teases, raising a brow.
Hoseok kissed his teeth. "I seen you with a bald cap on and still was bricked up afterwards. I'm pretty sure you already know that I think you look sexy with any hairstyle."
"TMI..." Trinity mumbled as she looked out of the window. He really didn't have a filter.
"I just said that to say you don't have to take your hair down simply because we're having dinner with folks. You look beautiful so don't think you have to do too much to impress." He explains.
"Oh...I understand. But honestly I just want to take my braids out. I know that I don't need to impress and I would never take down my protective hairstyle to set an impression for anybody."
"Good." Hoseok says, happy that he and Trinity had good understanding on the topic.
Trinity looks behind her to check on Oreo who was sitting on the seat with his tongue out as he stared at the trees.
Unlike other dogs, Oreo didn't like sticking his head out of the window. At first trinity and hoseok were a bit concerned when they first discovered he wasn't fucking with it. But then they realized that he was still a puppy and probably just didn't like it for now.
The girl then picked up her phone and unlocked it to scroll through social media. Like always these days, she came across a lot of promotion videos and ads on her feed.
But one of them caught her attention, and reminded her to ask hoseok something she had been meaning to ask for awhile.
"Hobi?" Trinity sounds, turning off her phone.
"Hmm?" Hoseok acknowledges.
"How do you feel about having a counselor?"
"Trin-"
"Just a question. I don't want you to think I'm pressuring you or anything. I just feel as if it's something worth looking into. Wether it be for anxiety, your adhd, or if you just need someone besides me or whatever to talk to. Having a counselor is very beneficial." She explains.
"Here's how I feel about it. I don't like being judged. If I need to vent I'll come to you. But telling a stranger about my issues won't do shit for me."
Trinity knew this was something he would not be fucking with. But it was worth a shot. Hoseok had a bad habit of straying away from help simply because he thought he couldn't be helped.
But that wasn't true. He was so scared of being judged to the point where he turned down any and all help. It was sad. Trinity wanted him to do this because she knew that it would be beneficial for their relationship.
If hoseok got help with his problems then there would be less issues within their relationship.
He told her that he would do anything she asked to become a better man for her. But Trinity wasn't seeing that right now.
"You don't know that. It's not their job to judge you so they won't. You need to talk to someone because if you don't things will just pile up."
"I got me. I don't need that extra shit." Hoseok said. Trinity sighed. It was no use.
The pulled into a drive through. She didn't want anything else other than a milk shake. Everything else on the menu made her feel sick just looking at it.
Hoseok ordered her a strawberry milkshake with sprinkles. He got himself a burger with fries and a drink. They sat in the drive through and ate their food with the radio playing. Hoseok occasionally fed a Oreo fries.
Trinity pouted and played with the straw of her milkshake.
"Why you pouting?" Hoseok asked, looking at her.
"I'm not." Trinity lied, pouting some more.
Hoseok smiled, shaking his head. "Yeah right." He mumbled.
"I just think that you should do the counseling. I'm listening to you and I understand your hesitance but Hobi, think about it. Your health. Your unresolved issues within. It'll all be extremely helpful to help you soothe all of that. You just have to trust yourself and me on this. I want you to get the help you deserve..."
"So you think I need help?" Hoseok asked, popping a French fry in his mouth.
"I didn't mean it like that. I also am considering counseling. It can be done within months depending on our progress. I feel like it'll be a step forward towards bettering our bond and relationship. Let's be real, things between us have been up and down since August."
Hoseok sighed. She just wouldn't let up. But she had plenty of points.
Their relationship had been going through hell and back since after her birthday last year. Hoseok knew that there were multiple reasons as to why. Some issues coming from him, most coming from their lost child and another from trinity.
But mostly from him.
He knew he needed the help but he was scared that they would do more judging than helping. He just needed an extra day or two to think about it first.
"If I tell you that I'll think about it will you leave it alone?" Hoseok asked, giving in sort of.
Trinity nodded.
"Okay well I'll think about it." Hoseok sighs.
-
A/n: okay so I know I said that there would be load of drama in this chapter but it's not because I started working on it late lmaoo.
Excuse any mistakes <3