I look at the two dresses I had placed on my bed. For some reason, I couldn't pick which one I wanted to wear.
Behind me, there's a knock on my door. I turn around to see my brother.
"How are you not ready yet? Even Ma is almost done." He had always hated my tendency to take 'forever' to get ready when we went out.
"I can't pick which dress I want to wear," I whine as I inspect the dresses again. "This one is more light and gives cottage-core vibes but this one gives off mysterious girl vibes."
Ahmed walks up behind me and inspects the dresses as well. "Or maybe it's because Omar is going to be there."
I turn around and lightly smack him. "Don't ever say that again."
"You like him."
"No I don't." There was no way I would like someone as egotistical as him.
Except maybe he wasn't as egotistical as I had thought.
"Cyra, he ticks off all the boxes on your list. Religious, good with kids, good looking by your standards, caring, and I mean do I need to go on. This man is literally something out of a weird fantasy you would make before going to sleep."
"Maybe you make fantasies before bed, but as a girl I just don't. And how exactly do you know all of this?" I look at my brother incredulously. There was no way they had become friends.
"I've just seen him around the Masjid a lot. And let me tell you, every time I walk in to pray he's already sitting in the front row."
I stare at him for a few moments before I push him out of my room. "Stay out of my lovelife Ahmed. Which is non-existent by the way so it should be pretty easy."
I place a hand over my heart as its pace quickened. Shoving the thoughts I knew were bound to come into my head, I focus on picking an outfit.
I end up picking the cottage-core viby dress and put on a brown trench coat over it.
My dad drove all of us there. We met up with Razan and Ilarias families, whom I had successfully introduced.
Razan had one older brother while Ilaria had a younger sister. Our families clicked, and Ahmed and Razans older brother, Ali, seemed like they were enjoying themselves.
Thank Allah it looked like Razan and Ilaria were going to be great friends. Every single friend group of 3 I had seen always ended up turning into 2.
One person was always left out, or the other 2 started hanging out more.
And I guess I had a fear that that person would be me. I didn't want to meet the loneliness that had accompanied me for so long.
Focus in the present Cyra. We're all mature adults, not children.
We all walked in together and went our separate ways when I realised I had forgotten my purse in the car.
"Ma, can I have the car keys? I forgot my purse."
"Do you want us to go with you," Razan asks. She was always so caring of others and I loved it.
"No thank you. It'll only take a minute so I'll be right back. Don't miss me too much."
"That'll be pretty hard," Ilaria says with a dramatic voice.
I take my keys and head to the car.
It was in the backseat where I had placed it. Picking it up, I feel a buzzing inside. My phone was ringing.
It was Omar.
I quickly answer and his voice fills my ear. "You're at the Masjid already?"
"Yup. You?"
"I've been here for an hour," he says.
"Oh. I'm guessing you're on the men's side?" Why had he called me?
"Nope."
"Then where are you," I ask.
"Turn around."
My movements stop.
Don't make this awkward, just turn around.
So I slowly turn my head and there he was, standing in a black thobe and a black and white keffiyeh wrapped around his head.
Of course he was wearing the thobe air force duo.
I close the door to the car and lock it before fully turning around and walking to him.
"Your outfit is really nice," I comment as lightly as I could.
'Nice' was an understatement. I lower my gaze as I knew what I was looking at would do me no good.
Why exactly are we thinking about him like this girl?
"Jazak Allah Khairan."
I wait for him to say more but he doesn't. "We should get inside. The halaqah should be starting soon."
"We still have time," he assures me.
"Did you want to talk to me about something?"
"Ahhh-no I didn't. Wait, I mean I did," he says as he fumbles around in his bag for something. Why was he acting so nervous?
"Your friends aren't here," I comment to make the silence more bearable. With him, the silence at the cafe was nice. It was peaceful. But the quiet now was filled with awkwardness.
"They're not my friends," he says, immediately looking up at me.
"Then they're...."
"Long story." He goes back to pulling something out of his bag.
"We have time." I wasn't going to back down now that I was this close to finding out the answer.
Maybe we're being a bit too pushy. Everyone has their own boundaries.
He looks up at me for a moment and sighs. "Well, basically my cousin is in the group. I saw him and he just looked like he was in a really dark part of his life so I wanted to help him. I started hanging out with him more but that sort of turned on me because I would also have to hang out with his friends. That sort of started dragging me towards the haram that they were doing. Thank Allah I didn't actually do anything, but I was close. I don't know how I let myself get to that point, but I think it was a lesson from Allah."
He plays with the loose ends of his kuffiyah as he talks. If only I could fix it. He draping looked terrible.
Islam myself mentally. What was it with wanting to do haram things right now.
"So I'm guessing you were able to bring yourself out?"
"Yup. الله sent me someone that helped open my eyes. They gave me the strength to stop hanging out with them. I just felt so bad for them all and I wanted to help them but for some reason I couldn't see how that was affecting me negatively."
"Oh." That's the only thing that I was able to get out of my mouth. Was he talking about me?
Really Cyra? 'Oh.' Give the man a little bit more or this'll be awkward.
"Ya, heavy story I know."
"No, nothing like that. I just thought-never mind. That's all in the past."
"I'm sorry for what I did that day. It wasn't like me at all and I honestly don't know what had gotten into me." His face looked sincere and a hint of resentment lingered on his face.
I look at him surprised. "Oh that's absolutely fine. As I said, it's all in the past now."
"It's just that, I mean I've had heavy Islamic courses since I was a child. I should have known all of this, but I didn't. And I don't know how الله views me for it."
"Even if you had the most extensive Islamic teaching, none of it matters if you don't find Islam for yourself. Which is why I think الله wanted you to go through this situation. So that you would realize the true beauty of Islam." I had pondered upon this topic for hours upon hours so the worlds glided right out.
He nods as he looks at his watch. "You seem very educated from the few times I've got to talk to you like this. The halaqah should be starting soon though, so we should get going."
"I'll see you then," I say as I walk ahead of him and into the woman's area.
As I sit down, the screens turn on and I am presented with a second surprise.
At the table, there sits a sheikh.
"Assalamu Alaikum. Thank you for joining me today brothers and sisters. Today we have a very special guest. One of my very own students. Omar Malik. Although he has been gone for a while now, I am happy to say he is back."
I can see the happiness in Omar's eyes. It was infectious. The sheik continues. "He has been studying under me for about 12 years now and became a hifz at the age of 14. Two years ago, he finished his Alim courses."
I slowly turn my head to look at my friends but they were already staring at me. They both had those smiles on their faces.
I shake my head from side to side and decide to ignore them. There was no way. 0% chance.
This was just admiration right?
"You give me too much credit Sheikh. I have been studying under him which is the only reason I have been able to learn this much."
"He's a very modest man," Ilaria comments to the side of me.
Ignore her.
"His face is infatuating. That's why she isn't listening to us," Razan comments.
They both snicker quietly.
"Some of us are trying to focus on the lecture here," I huff.
"Yes we are. You on the other hand?" Ilaria starts.
"You're too busy ogling the man giving the lecture," Razan finishes.
A slow smile rises on my face. I can't help it. We all burst into a quiet laughter before our moms have to tell us to shush.
The rest of the halaqah goes by uneventfully as we all listen to the halaqah sincerely.
That is, until we leave.
We sit in the lobby and wait for our fathers and brothers to get out I the mens section.
However, Omar reaches us first. Or rather, he reaches me first.
"Cyra," he calls my name and I turn around from the seat I was sitting in. "I totally forgot what I wanted to talk to you about earlier."
"And that is.."
"I wanted to give you a bonus for the other day. You didn't have to volunteer to work overtime, but you did."
Ilaria and Razan see me from where they stand and they start walking over.
"It's fine."
"I insist Cyra. It helped a lot."
"I asked to help out because you seemed like you really needed the time to rest. Not because I wanted extra money."
He starts to refuse, but thankfully Ilaria and Razan grace us with their presence.
"Cyra, we're about to leave."
I get off of my seat. "I'll be right there."
"Omar," a new voice enters our little circle.
We all turn around to look. It was a man about 6 foot, taller than Omar by a lot. He had a black utility vest over his black thobe.
"You guys are matching outfits, how cute," I blurt out before my mind had a chance to think it through.
Omar chuckles. "His idea."
"Why are you blaming everything on me," he says as he puts one hand on Omars shoulder.
"This is Hasan. My best friend."
I nod. "Nice to meet you." And then to Omar, "I have to go so I'll see you soon."
We say our salams and all 3 of us walk together to the parking lot.
"The other guy, what was his name? Hasan? He looks cute," Ilaria squeals.
"I can see you two together," I say with a laugh. "He looks like he's into really hardcore stuff and then theirs you all cutesy."
"Opposites attract. It's what happened with my brother," Razan adds.
"See? Case closed. Me and Rzan will help you Ilaria, don't worry."
"How about you and Omar-"
I cut Ilaria off. "That's just not happening."
Both of them share a knowing glance.
"Whatever you say girl," Razan responds.
Our conversation topic changes as our parents and siblings join in and we laugh together as our conversation continues.
I hadn't felt this kind of happiness in a while. Life was peaceful. My heart felt content.
Was it too good to be true? Isn't it normal to expect bad to happen when things are going too good?
Allah's plan will always lead towards a happy ending though would it not? So what would the point of overthinking be?
I promise myself to try my best to just enjoy the moment as I knew whatever would happen, even if I didn't like it, would be better for me in the long run.
Trust in الله.
Yes, trust.
For he is the best of planners.
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word count: 1,652
Date Posted: 02/15/2022