"I wish I wasn't such a dreamer. I've ruined this life for myself."
"Claire wakey wakey!!" A screaming child yells into my ear. I let out a groan, covering my ears with a pillow only to be hit by tiny hands. I jolt up, facing the conniving little girl known as Layla.
"You used to be my favorite." I huff out. She let's out a small laugh, moving to sit on my lap.
"Momma said you sleep in too late." I frown, looking over at the clock that read 1 p.m. What they didn't know is I haven't woken up before noon in a hot minute. My schedule was out of wack and I possibly got too much sleep.
"Well she isn't the one out slaying dragons is she?" I laugh as Layla's face changes to surprise. I'd tell her these stories of stuff I'd do to feed her imagination and she always ran a mile with it.
"I want to be just like you!" She yells. I give her a sharp look, that catching me completely off guard. I grab her into my arms.
"No, you don't, you think you do. But when you get older, you'll want to be the princess in the castle. Waiting on some half wit prince to save you." I sounded bitter, way too bitter. I knew she didn't understand me now, I mean c'mon she was only like 5.
Layla laid around in the room for me a bit, I told her some more stories that later on in life I can disappoint her when she finds out they aren't true. After that I go and take a shower, my heart suddenly hurts. Reminding me of last night, and how every time I get suckered into Quil it always goes wrong.
We could never be friends. The realization killing me, that I held too big a grudge for what our relationship was, and he would never give up in trying to get me back. It was going to end badly, more than it already has.
I get a call from Colin around 6, telling me that he was coming up to make sure I was dressed properly. I let out a laugh, removing my shirt to be in just my tank top and jeans. He walks in right as I move to stretch, taking me in and then quickly covering his eyes.
"I should have known you'd play on that one."
"I don't know what you mean Colin." I say flirtatiously. He snorts, moving into the room and closing the door.
"What are your plans tonight?" I let out a laugh, falling back onto my Queen sized bed. Indicating my plans for this lovely Saturday night. He comes over, pulling my arm to where I sit up.
"Your free, great! We're going to a bonfire."
"With other people? No thanks." I didn't know when I'd become so anti social, but it's happened.
"Yes, Claire, and you know deep down you love other people. But it's only the pack excluding the older guys." I nodded, slightly interested but only slight.
"No thanks, I choose my bed."
"And we've respected that choice for the past couple weeks, even joined you in it. But now you got to come out with us."
"We'll freeze our asses off." He shrugs throwing an arm around my shoulder and bearing a toothy grin.
"Beer's going to take all that edge off."
He roped me into it somehow, and now I was walking with him down to the beach an hour later. The sun had just set, I was freezing out in the cold the meat on my bones not enough nor was Colin's heat surprisingly.
I take notice of all the people sitting by the fire, their faces all meeting mine. Toby, already seeming to be enjoying the beer. Brady wearing a light smile up at me, and Hallie her eyes looking at me in wonder instead of the usual anger.
"Claire Bear!" Brady yells moving up and throwing me up in a hug. Hallie, to my surprise, waves at me, "Hey."
"How the hell have you been?" Toby asks in slurs. I shrug, moving to take one of the beers he had outreached. I sit by Colin, taking quick notice of the angry glances Hallie will shoot Brady, and him giving her concerned one's back.
"Hey about throwing you in the water," Brady starts sharing a glance with Colin, "We're sorry." I let out a laugh.
"You get chewed out?" Hallie snorts from across us.
"They got 10 hour patrol shifts for two days." I raise my brows, I couldn't imagine running around in the woods chasing bad guys for that long, it sounded insane.
"The best part was Quil's yelling, never heard the dude talk that much in my life." Toby cuts himself short, sparring me a glance. "Sorry." He mumbled. I shrugged, taking a big drink of my beer.
We spent the next couple hours talking, and honestly even though I wasn't part of the pack I still loved spending time we these guys, missed that I haven't seen them in a while. I was about 3 beers in when Hallie got up to walk away. Brady watched her go, but didn't even bother getting up for her and I frowned. Colin nudged my shoulder, leaning in to my ear.
"You should go talk to her." I share a glance with him before sighing to get up, making sure to pat Brady's shoulder.
I have to run to catch up with her as she walks along the shorelines. She didn't look angry, just kind of upset. She turns to me, raising a brow as to why I was here I guessed.
"You alright?" I breathed, completely out of breath for I haven't exercised in months.
"Question is, are you?" I laugh, still catching my breath.
"Not even close to it." A small smile hits her face.
"That's how I've felt for a while now." Her eyes dancing back to the fire. I frowned, Hallie was much more gentle in tone than she used to be. It was always clipped and sassy, her guard up high.
"Our lives are so fucked up." I blurt out. She laughs at me, looking down at the beer swinging in my hand.
"You sure you should be drinking that lightweight?" Hallie knew me well, the first time I ever drunk was her house and I got completely smashed over one little beer.
"Couldn't hurt, Colin will be my knight in shining armor tonight."
"He'd be it for the rest of your life if he could." I raise my brows but deep down I knew it too.
"What about you and Brady huh? Not looking like the couple eating each other's faces on Halloween." She scoffs, nodding me to walk down further with her.
"I don't want it." I stare at her bewildered.
"So you, too, are in the same mess I'm in with being an imprint?" She hesitates before nodding.
"It has got to be one of the most unbelievable things in this whole world." I forgot exactly how alike me and Hallie were till this moment.
"Not just unbelievable, more like heartbreaking things. Don't even get me started on all the other imprint women here that like, push you onto them like your chopped liver."
"My mom won't give me a break about it." She says running a hand through her short hair.
"You? They got him butting into decisions about going back to Dr. Foley!" I blurt out. I was talking a lot right now I realized. She looked at me wide eyed.
"That crazy man who put you on those zombie meds?" I nodded.
"Doesn't surprise me, it's like if we go against something we're destined for we're the bad guys. It was bad enough becoming one of them." I shuddered at the idea of Hallie going through the transitions Quil told me about.
"I noticed you don't hang out with Kayla anymore." I said. Talking about the other girl we used to be friends with.
"I had to cut off ties with anyone not in the pack really, plus she was insufferable so it went swimmingly." I snort.
"You were just as insufferable with her." I commented. I expected a big blow from that instead she looks from me to the water.
"Well when your best friend decides she doesn't want to be friends with you anymore out of the blue, it hurts." Her voice hard. I did that in fact.
"I got fed up, with a lot of stuff after my mom died. I didn't like Kayla none, nor did I like the way I was heading in the friend group so I decided to go." She nodded.
"I think I was just trying to prove myself there. Run from, this life. Guess that didn't work to good did it?"
"Don't worry I'm no good at running from it either, the one way I could have gotten out died." I say so bitterly.
Get out meant leave, I thought about it, just running away with Blake and traveling to all these places he said he'd show me someday. But I never took that jump, that leap, because something tied me to this small town.
"You want to be friends again?" She blurts out after a while. It's so funnily worded that I let out a laugh which gets a sharp look from her.
"Yeah, I really would." I agree knowing that people sometimes do change, and some people finding their way back to each other must mean something.
I look over when I hear screaming, it's Toby running into the Ocean and I gasp at the fact it's probably 30 degrees out.
I went a little too far on the alcohol I realized a little later in the night when Colin was carrying me like a baby back up to the car. I kept laughing, finding all the stars quiet funny.
"I can't take you home." I snort.
"Duh, uncle Sam would kill you. Guess it's sleepover time." I say grinning over at him. We used to have sleepovers every weekend before everything went crazy.
I stare out the window as we drive through the small town taking in the trees and how we flew by them. God this town was really beautiful, I look over at Colin, he was really nice looking too. But his face contorts, into the man I was really wanting to see. I look down at my phone for said man to call but a text message pops up.
'Come over and talk if you want too.' That dropped my stomach, talk? That seemed all Quil Ateara was good for with me was talk. He talks, I talk, normal at first, then it's a fight, then sometimes I cry or we make out. We were a mess. A complete and utter mess.
"What's a mess?" Colin asks from beside me, I hold my hand to my mouth realizing I must've said that out loud, but I just shake it off.
I follow Colin into the house, somehow able to walk but the giggles would escape me. He's already warned me twice about them and I'm almost going to make it a third when we hear footsteps entering, his hand clamps my mouth as he presses me to the wall.
The noise definitely was from downstairs but I think he's just being paranoid. Finally when the feet stop, does Colin move his hand. I feel his heavy breath and suddenly my eyes are moving up to his lips, their full and very pretty.
My stomach hurts though, because these aren't the right lips. That's what my conscious is saying, but I need that to go away. So I lean up slowly, his breath his heavy I can feel it.
"Make me forget Colin." I cover his mouth with mine, creating friction between us instantly. It's rash, and messy as an immature boy would do when he wasn't used to kissing. His arms were strong around me but not large enough to remind me of him.
God I didn't need reminded of him, not right now.
I pull back as the thoughts weigh in, his head resting against mine. We both catch our breaths and he's the first to break the air with a laugh, then suddenly I'm laughing too.
"I wanted to be the one." He whispers his voice turning painful. I lean away from him, knowing what he meant and knowing that he wasn't hurt him. I suck in a breath.
"Thanks for trying to be, if I had a choice I would have picked you." I say numbly moving into his bedroom. That felt like sour on my tongue after I said it, like the relationship with Quil and I wasn't good enough.
Maybe I didn't deserve him.
The next morning Colin and I slept side by side till noon, when Brady barged into the room shaking Colin awake.
"You have to get out to patrols before Quil throws a fit, he done knows she's here so he'll definitely go off." I hear but I don't open my eyes.
"Tell Quil to put the bottom lip over his head and swallow it." I mumble. I don't get laughs like I expected, the air feeling tense as I open my eyes to see why. There in all his glory, stood a the shirtless man I was just talking about. Eyes not trained on me, but on Colin's at my side.
He's up in a flash as he too realizes Quil's in the room. I don't move up, hoping the bed will somehow swallow me whole. Colin and Brady shoot me a glance before walking from the room. I groan shoving my face into the bed as I notice Quil is still there.
"Get up, I'll take you home before Mrs. Anders finds you in her sons bed." There's no humor in his voice at this statement though, no he's fumingly pissed.
I huff, trying to move off the bed quickly landing me to falling to the floor, strong arms catching me before I face plant. My body takes the electric kindly, and I move to grab my jacket before following him out.
"We're just taking his truck?" I say as we hop into Colin's vehicle. Quil shrugs before starting it up.
"He stay on his side of the bed?" Is the first thing I hear from his mouth. It caught me off guard, "What?"
"Did he stay on his side of the bed?" He asks again, his voice hard and icy. I rolled my eyes, territorial bastard from the imprint I guessed.
"Why? If he didn't you going to give him more crazy patrol shifts?" I fire out. I watch as his grip tightens on the wheel but he doesn't say anything.
"If he stayed on his side of the bed but I didn't what would you say then, hm?" I was teasing him, finding it funny most the times. He pulls into the driveway, I'm thrilled to hop out as he was about to tear wheel into.
"If the world wasn't just and I was able to do exactly what I wanted with you Claire, you wouldn't ever be able to leave my sight, let alone touch another man." I'm caught off guard at his bold statement. It was, endearingly pleasing a part of me at the idea of being completely controlled by him. The rest was just pissed, I scoffed slamming the truck door flipping him off as I walked back into the house.
Making sure to move my hips in the most unladylike way possible.